Have you ever wondered whether you're truly burned out or simply depleted? And what happens when, in the process of meeting everyone else's needs, you lose touch with important parts of yourself? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and co-author of the trailblazing book, Boundaries, to explore how we can recognize burnout, restore our emotional health, and reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have lost along the way. Drawing from his new book, Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace, Dr. Cloud shares why rest alone isn't always enough, how our emotions signal when something is out of balance, and why healthy relationships help us become more fully ourselves. Dr. Cloud also shares a powerful personal story about his own childhood that you do not want to miss. In this episode, you’ll learn: *The difference between depletion and burnout *How to tell when your rhythms and boundaries need attention. *Why structure is so important, and how to set intentional rhythms of rest and renewal *How safe relationships can help us reclaim lost parts of ourselves. About Dr. Henry Cloud: Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written or co-written more than 45 books, including the bestselling Boundaries, with nearly 20 million copies sold worldwide. Drawing on his experience in clinical psychology, executive coaching, and leadership consulting, Dr. Cloud helps individuals and organizations strengthen relationships, develop healthy boundaries, and reach their full potential. He works with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership, and organizational culture. More Resources: Dr. Henry Cloud is the author of a new book: Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace Other books of Dr. Henry Cloud  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Air Doctor Pro - Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU and get up to $300 off ANY of their select AirDoctor models, plus you will get a 3-year warranty,absolutely FREE!  All AirDoctor air purifiers come with a 30-day money back guarantee.  Get this exclusive, podcast-only offer NOW at AirDoctorPro.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Listener request) Have you ever felt like you're always the one being blamed or misunderstood in your family or relationships? When you're repeatedly cast as the difficult or sensitive one, it's easy to begin questioning your own perspective—and even your sense of who you are. We explore: *What family systems theory teaches us about scapegoating and the roles we take on in relationships*How being repeatedly blamed can shape your identity and make it difficult to trust your own perspectiveWhat David's response to his brother reveals about the freedom to stop defending yourself against every accusationHow to become a truth-teller and pattern breaker, taking responsibility for what's yours without carrying what belongs to othersGo deeper: Explore The Best of You and The Secure Soul For help navigating painful family dynamics, find therapy resources at www.dralisoncook.com/resources Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6 Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our circumstances—or so attached to a particular vision of healing—that we struggle to imagine what else might be possible.explore: *Various ways we respond to Jesus' question, "Do you want to get well?" *How we adapt to painful circumstances, and why familiar patterns can make change feel unsettling*What happens when we focus so intently on obstacles & outcomes that we lose sight of the One who offers healing*How to bring our honest longings to God Go Deeper: Episode 227: What Trusting God Really Looks Like When You Can’t Control the Outcome with Susie Larson Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16 Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these are simply habits. But sometimes they're small signals from within—what I like to think of as your soul's bids for connection. In today's episode, we explore:*Why we are both wonderfully made and wounded—and what that means for how we relate to ourselves*How the Gottmans' concept of bids for connection applies to our inner lives*How to recognize the subtle ways your soul asks for attention*How to invite God's loving presence into the hidden places within youGo deeper: Explore The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy at TheSecureSoulBook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21 You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to become rooted and established in love. She explores how God’s love can begin to reach the fearful, striving, and hurting parts of us—not just as something we believe, but as something we learn to receive.Go Deeper: Learn more about becoming rooted in God’s love in The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide— find free resources at thesecuresoulbook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer to talk about his new book, Into the Quiet, and the surprisingly difficult practice of silence and solitude. They talk about what happens when we stop filling every empty space with our phones, work, entertainment, and distraction. What comes up in the quiet isn’t always what we expect. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why getting quiet can be difficult but what we can discover when we finally slow down * How silence and solitude can help us become more present to ourselves and to God * How to recognize the difference between healthy reflection and rumination * When we’re meeting a part of our own soul vs. the enemy of our soul * How to start practicing quietness in small, manageable steps As John Mark says, “The point is just to offer ourselves more deeply to God.” About John Mark Comer: John Mark Comer is a teacher and a writer. He has his Masters in Biblical and Theological Studies and a Teacher in Residence at Vintage Church LA. He is a New York Times bestselling author of seven books. His most recent book is Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise. More Resources: Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise by John Mark Comer Other books by John Mark Comer The Practicing the Way nonprofit  Past episode with John Mark Comer and Dr. Alison Cook on the Best of You is here.  Dr. Alison Cook with John Mark Comer on the Rule of Life Podcast  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11 What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season of life you’re actually living. Some seasons hold joy, others grief, and many hold both at once. Naming what’s true can help us stop fighting reality and become more open to God’s presence within it.Go Deeper: Learn more about the practice of naming what’s hard in I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. You can read the first few chapters free at dralisoncook.com/book. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37 What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns the story inward. She explores the parts of us we distrust, criticize, or try to push away—and how learning to meet those places with compassion can change the way we love God, ourselves, and other people.Go Deeper: Learn more about working with the different parts of your soul in Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul at dralisoncook.com/books. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11 There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.In today’s episode, Dr. Alison returns to a simple prayer for an undivided heart. She explores what it looks like to become more deeply rooted in God, and how bringing every part of yourself honestly into God’s presence.Go Deeper: Notice one place where you feel scattered, pressured, or pulled by the voices around you today. Pause before reacting and pray: “Teach me your way, Lord. Give me an undivided heart.”And listen Thursday for Alison’s conversation with John Mark Comer about his new book, Into the Quiet. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when trying to be more secure (on the surface) backfires? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Marisa Franco, about her new book, Worth. They explore a different way to think about anxious and avoidant attachment, the surprising science of how old memories continue to shape our present relationships, and why healing doesn’t require making someone else the villain. They also talk about grief, empathy, and a powerful experience Marisa had in therapy that changed how she understood the parts of herself she had spent years trying to hide. In this episode, you’ll learn: *A different way to understand anxious and avoidant attachment *Why seemingly small moments can trigger surprisingly big reactions *The fascinating science of memory reconsolidation *What grief has to do with genuine empathy and closeness *The surprising overlap between attachment science, parts work, and spiritual healing About Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist, professor, and New York Times bestselling author of Platonic. Her new book is Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. More Resources: Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment—available wherever books are sold Dr. Marisa G. Franco  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Right now, my listeners can get 20% off AquaTru Shower at AquaTruShower.com with promo code SHBESTOFYOU. It also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. That’s AquaTruShower.com, promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional). *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens to your capacity to trust God when life has taught you to brace for disappointment? You may still believe God is good. You may know the Scriptures and have walked with Him for years. And yet there can be places inside of you that still struggle to trust His goodness toward you. This week, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author and radio host Susie Larson for an honest conversation about trauma, chronic illness, unanswered prayer, and what it means to keep trusting God when your circumstances remain painfully unresolved. Drawing from her own experiences with childhood trauma, complicated pregnancies, chronic illness, financial strain, and seasons when God felt silent, Susie shares how she began moving from simply knowing she was saved to actually learning to live as someone deeply loved by God. In this episode, you’ll learn: How trauma and disappointment can affect your ability to trust God The difference between knowing intellectually that God loves you and learning to live loved Why trusting God isn’t a formula for getting the outcome you want What Susie means by “contending” for what is true without slipping into striving The difference between expectation and expectancy Why trust can sometimes mean fighting for something and other times mean releasing control How fear and strong emotions can reveal beliefs beneath the surface Why you don’t have to wait until everything is resolved to begin living with purpose A simple practice for intentionally receiving and reflecting on God’s love The invitation isn’t to figure out how to make God give you the ending you hoped for. It’s to become more deeply rooted in His love while the story is still being written. Ready Susie Larson’s book More Than You Can Imagine: What God Does When You Trust Him Listen to Susie Larson Live More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual wounding shows up in so many different ways, and it affects so many men and women.  Maybe something happened that felt off, invasive, confusing, or inappropriate, but you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve never used the words sexual abuse or sexual violation because what happened didn’t fit the picture you had in mind. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by trauma expert and bestselling author Dr. Dan Allender for a compassionate conversation about sexual abuse, sexual wounding, shame, trust, and the road toward healing. Dan explains why abuse is not only about a single event, but about how that event becomes woven into the larger fabric of a person’s story. They explore why so many people minimize what happened, how involuntary body responses can create profound shame, and why these wounds often surface years later in our ability to trust, receive love, hope, and connect intimately with others. You’ll learn: What sexual abuse and sexual wounding can look like beyond the narrowest definitions Why shame can linger long after an experience is over How abuse affects trust, hope, intimacy, and your relationships What parents can do when a child shares that something uncomfortable or violating happened How to approach your story with honesty, compassion, and dignity Sometimes the first step is simply being willing to say: Something happened that wasn’t okay. And I want to understand how it has shaped me. To find out more about The Allender Center workshops visit theallendercenter.org/workshops or email the Allender Center team directly at programs@theallendercenter.org Read Dr. Dan Allender’s  books: Healing the Wounded Heart The Deep-Rooted Marriage More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself? Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging. Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in order to fit in can lead to emotional exhaustion and disconnection. But the answer isn’t to swing to the other extreme and insist on expressing every part of yourself in every room. We were made for community.  And we were also made to become fully ourselves. The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s learning how to love other people without losing yourself in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the desire to belong is a healthy human need How to tell the difference between wise compromise and self-abandonment Why staying quiet isn’t always people-pleasing How your core values can guide what you share, when you speak up, and when you flex Why “bringing your whole self” doesn’t mean bringing every part of yourself everywhere How to navigate relationships or workplaces where being fully yourself may come with a real cost What Dr. Hewlin calls the middle self: authenticity with discernment and accountability Why true authenticity is inherently relational Read Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live With Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind. More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 55% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You love the kids you've been called to care for. You’re grateful most of the time. But sometimes your hidden feelings are still, well.... complicated. You may feel frustrated by how much is asked of you, lonely in the load you’re carrying, jealous of other moms who seem to have it easier, or ashamed that motherhood doesn’t always feel the way you thought it would. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by longtime friends, ministry leaders, and authors of the new book Moms on the Way, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick for an honest conversation about the complicated emotions moms are often afraid to admit out loud. Drawing from their research with more than 700 women, they explore why shame and resentment thrive in isolation—and what can happen when we finally bring those feelings into the light. You’ll learn: *Why motherhood can become fertile ground for comparison and shame *What resentment is really telling you *How to discern between something that is simply hard and something that genuinely needs to change *How hidden shame and resentment can isolate you from yourself, others, and God *What to do when these hidden emotions creep in More Resources: Connect with Kathy and Tara here. Get Moms on the Way: Following Jesus Through the Challenges of Motherhood here. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18 How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces. You’ll learn: *Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom*How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility*The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom*Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence*One way to discern the fruit your choices and relationships are producing Go Deeper: The Best of You Every Day is taking a short break after this week while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath? You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives. Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective responses—and why healing begins by getting curious about what those patterns are trying to tell us. You’ll learn: *How trauma can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize *Why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-sufficiency can become protective patterns *How family and community wounds can shape us across generations *Why minimizing your pain can keep you disconnected from what needs care *The role of lament in bringing your real emotions before God *Why healing rarely happens alone *How small steps, safe people, and God’s presence can help create lasting change Healing doesn’t require you to minimize what happened or convince yourself that someone else had it worse. It begins with noticing what is true, allowing God into the places that hurt, and taking one small step toward connection. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:11–14 What if the next faithful step isn’t as far away as it feels? When fear and uncertainty take over, we can turn discernment into an exhausting search for perfect clarity. But Scripture offers a more grounded way forward: God’s wisdom is often nearer than we think. You’ll learn: *Why anxiety can make a simple decision feel impossible*How the search for certainty can keep you stuck*Why discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong path*How to recognize the wisdom God has already placed within reach*What it looks like to take one faithful step without having the whole map Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and its companion guide for a deeper journey into the patterns, stories, and practices that shape a more secure life with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:23-24 (Listener Request)What happens when you genuinely try to make things right—and the other person refuses to participate? Jesus takes reconciliation seriously, but that doesn’t mean you can force another person to acknowledge harm, tell the truth, or repair what has been broken. You’ll learn: *What Jesus’ command to “go and be reconciled” actually asks of you*The crucial difference between making a repair attempt and achieving mutual repair*Why reconciliation cannot be created by one person alone*How the pressure to “make peace” can sometimes protect denial or dysfunction*When faithfulness may mean grieving, setting a boundary, and stopping your pursuit of repair Go Deeper: Episode 216: Forgiveness Without Self-Abandonment: How to Forgive Without Ignoring the Harm with Amy Orr-EwingEpisode 217: What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying: Leslie Vernick on Emotionally Destructive Relationships Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: Proverbs 25:11–15 What do you do when you need to say something hard—but you don’t want to become harsh in the process? Proverbs gives us a surprising picture of strength: words that are clear and truthful, yet governed by patience, wisdom, and love. You’ll learn: *Why speaking gently doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations*How to tell the difference between assertiveness, aggression, and silence*Why overexplaining can become an attempt to control someone’s response*What trustworthy words sound like when something difficult needs to be said*One question to help you speak with less force without sacrificing truth Go Deeper: After this week, The Best of You Every Day will take a short break for rest and reset, while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8–11 (Listener Request) What does Scripture really mean when it says that “love covers over a multitude of sins”? Deep love protects dignity and makes room for mercy—but it also tells the truth, creates boundaries, and seeks genuine repair. You'll learn: *The crucial difference between covering and covering up *Why biblical love never requires you to hide ongoing harm *How fear of conflict can disguise itself as “keeping the peace” *Why forgiveness and repair are not the same thing *How to hold truth, boundaries, dignity, and mercy together Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who might need to hear it. Today is the last day to get all the preorder bonus items when you order your copy of The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if being secure doesn’t mean you never second-guess yourself? If you replay conversations, second-guess yourself, worry about how you came across, or compare yourself to other people, you may assume security is something other people naturally have—and you somehow missed. But real security isn’t the absence of insecurity. It’s knowing where to return when insecurity shows up. In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison shares her own lifelong struggle with insecurity, self-doubt, and the fear of not being enough—and why writing The Secure Soul changed the way she understands security altogether. You’ll learn: *Why insecurity can linger even as you become stronger and healthier *The hidden reason self-doubt can feel so convincing *How old experiences can shape the stories you still tell about yourself *How to become a safe person for your own soul *A simple practice for recognizing God’s presence in the places where you still feel afraid, ashamed, or unsure A secure soul isn’t one that never feels insecure. It’s one that has somewhere to return to when the insecurity comes. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You” and over $350 worth of bonuses. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 29:4–7 What do you do when your life looks nothing like the one you imagined? Today's scripture is a surprising invitation to stop postponing your life until everything changes, without pretending that what happened was good or that your grief doesn’t matter. You'll learn: *Why acceptance is different from approval or giving up *How fighting reality can keep your nervous system perpetually braced *The difference between resistance, giving up, and grounded agency *Why investing in the present doesn’t mean abandoning hope for the future *How to identify one “garden” you can begin tending right where you are Go Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to stay rooted in God’s love when life feels uncertain, painful, or different from what you hoped. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 2:1–12 Sometimes you can pray, hope, and keep moving forward. And sometimes you simply can’t carry it all by yourself. Today's Scripture is powerful picture of what healing can look like in community—and a reminder that needing someone else to hold hope with you is not a failure of faith. You'll learn: *The loneliness of self-sufficiency *What the friends in Mark 2 teach us about shared faith *Why healing is often an interdependent rather than solitary process *How to distinguish sacred support from unsafe vulnerability *What it means to let someone carry a corner of your mat without asking them to fix you Go Deeper: Share this episode with a friend, and check The Secure Soul and the Companion Guide—out today! Order here and get the full Soul Tending Video Resource library Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 18:10 When fear rises, where do you run? We often reach instinctively for overthinking, control, numbing, busyness, or escape. But Scripture gives us another image. Today, we’ll explore what it means to run to the name of the Lord—not as a spiritual formula or magic phrase, but as a return to the character and presence of a God who is strong enough to hold what scares us. You'll learn: *Why fear often sends us toward overthinking, control, or escape *What Scripture actually means by “the name of the Lord” *Why saying “in Jesus’ name” isn’t an incantation *How God can become a secure base when safety has felt complicated *How to recognize your old shelters and return to refuge instead of shame Go Deeper: For more on returning to God as a source of safety, check out The Secure Soul⁠—it will be in your hands tomorrow, and you'll still get all the bonus items when you order this week. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 2:14–18 Sometimes fear doesn’t feel like fear. It looks like staying ahead, planning for every possibility, holding people tightly, or never quite letting yourself rest. Hebrews 2 names a deeper fear beneath much of our striving: the fear of loss and death. Today, we’ll explore how that fear quietly shapes our lives—and why Jesus frees us to loosen our grip and live more fully. *How fear of loss can disguise itself as responsibility or control *Why avoiding what we fear can actually give it more power *The “smaller deaths” we brace against in everyday life *What Jesus’ death and resurrection mean for the things we fear losing *How to loosen your grip without pretending you’re not afraid Go Deeper: For more on your Inner Controller check out The Secure Soul Episode 41: Boundaries with Fear and Anxiety Episode 167: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you pray has more to do with your attachment patterns than you realize? In this episode, Dr. Alison shares how her own prayer life changed as she became more securely attached—and the surprising shift that she didn’t understand at first. We’ll look at what attachment theory can teach us about the way we experience closeness, why deeply feeling or anxiously attached parts of us may equate intensity with love, and how healing can lead to a steadier, more integrated way of relating—with other people and with God. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why intensity can feel like closeness—even when it isn’t security What attachment research reveals about why some relationships feel so consuming The subtle shifts that happen as your attachment system begins to heal What securely attached people do differently in close relationships A simple practice for building greater trust from the inside out More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Isaiah 42:1–4 Sometimes you’re not falling apart—you’re simply bruised. You’re still functioning and showing up, but certain places inside feel tender, weary, or easily overwhelmed. Today, we’ll explore what it means to receive God’s gentleness in the places where you’re hurting. *Why being tender doesn’t mean you’re weak*How hurt can cause us to guard or criticize vulnerable parts of ourselves*What the bruised reed reveals about the character of Jesus*Why God’s strength and gentleness belong together*One way to treat your own soul with greater tenderness today Go Deeper: If you’re learning how to meet yourself with more compassion, explore the Soul Tending video library at TheSecureSoulBook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 9:9-13 Shame tells you to hide the parts of yourself that feel messy, reactive, needy, or disappointing. But Jesus does the opposite of what we often expect: He moves toward Matthew before Matthew has cleaned up his life. Today, we’ll look at what this story reveals about the heart of God and why the places you most want to hide may be the very places where mercy wants to meet you. *Why Jesus didn’t wait for Matthew to become respectable *How shame teaches us to hide the parts of ourselves that need care *Why God’s holiness moves toward human need rather than away from it *The difference between mercy and spiritually proving yourself *How to let Jesus meet you in a place you don’t feel proud of Go Deeper: Check out our Soul Tending Video Resource library all about tending the wounds within—it's free when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 30:1–5 Sometimes the hardest part of a painful season isn’t simply surviving it—it’s discovering that joy still feels far away even after the worst has passed. In Psalm 30, David makes room for both realities: the night is real, and it doesn’t get the final word. Today, we’ll explore why joy can feel risky after grief or disappointment and how to begin receiving goodness again without denying what still hurts. You'll learn: *Why Psalm 30 doesn’t minimize grief or rush you toward happiness *Why prolonged hardship can make joy harder to receive *How joy and grief can exist together *Why some parts of you may feel safer expecting disappointment *A gentle practice for noticing one small sign of “morning” today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that sorrow is real, but it isn’t the end of the story. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:14–26 What do you do when you feel like you don’t belong — or when you’ve learned to protect yourself by pretending you don’t need anyone? Today’s Scripture gives us Paul’s picture of the body, where every part matters and no part can say, “I don’t belong” or “I don’t need you.” This episode helps you recognize the strategies you use around belonging, stop measuring your worth by comparison, and practice showing up in the body as someone who is already needed and loved. You’ll learn: *Why feeling like you don’t belong does not make it true *How exclusion can register in the body like real pain *Why some of us try to earn belonging while others avoid it *How community helps regulate what we were never meant to carry alone *One small way to let someone else show up for you today Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and the Companion Guide to go deeper into repairing old attachment wounds and returning to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when the faith that once held you no longer feels like it can carry the questions you’re asking now? You may still love God. You don’t want to leave your faith behind. But the beliefs, practices, or ways of relating to God that once sustained you begin to feel too small for the life you’re living. In this week’s conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and spiritual director Ian Morgan Cron to explore the tender space between silencing your questions and burning everything down. Through Ian’s brand-new novel Chasing Francis, they discuss how a crisis of faith can become an invitation to spiritual growth, deeper intimacy with God, and a faith that is more fully your own. Why a crisis of faith can become an opportunity for deeper spiritual growth The difference between healthy questioning and becoming trapped in cynicism What spiritual individuation looks like and why it matters Why the faith that sustained an earlier version of you may need room to grow How to return to the foundation that God is love and you are loved Why resisting a difficult spiritual season can create even more suffering How beauty, imagination, story, and nature can restore perspective What St. Francis can teach us about simplicity, compassion, and an embodied faith Your questions do not necessarily mean that you are losing your faith. They may be an invitation to examine what you inherited, hold on to what is true, and allow God to build something deeper. As Ian reminds us, sometimes the work is not forcing yourself back into a previous expression of faith. It is asking: What is the invitation here? You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ You’ll explore:More Resources: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:1–8What do you do when shame tells you that you are too damaged, too much, or too far behind to belong? Today’s Scripture tells the story of a wounded man who is hiding, and King David’s kindness that brings him back to the table. This episode helps you recognize the hiding place inside your soul, receive kindness without self-evisceration, and begin to trust that belonging can meet you wounds and all. You’ll learn:*Why shame drives us into hiding and withdrawal*How belonging can feel threatening when your history with power has been painful*Why kindness often has to be received repeatedly over time*How wounded younger parts of us learn to stay hidden*What it means to believe the seat at the table is actually yours Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Mark 5: When Your Pain Becomes Your Identity: How Jesus Gives You a New Name Episode 160: When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 11:9–13 What do you do when you believe God is good, but your body still braces when it’s time to ask him for help? Today’s Scripture speaks to the history beneath our prayers — the early experiences that taught us whether asking was safe, ignored, punished, or met with care. This episode helps you notice the inner flinch, honor the part of you that stopped asking, and begin rebuilding trust with God one small request at a time. You’ll learn: *Why asking God for help can feel risky *How early attachment wounds shape what you expect from God *Why what you believe and what you feel can be different systems *How to notice the inner flinch without shaming it *One small way to practice asking God for something real Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how your earliest attachments shape what you expect from God — and how to begin repairing those patterns. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 107:4–9 What do you do when your soul feels empty, disoriented, or far from anything that feels like home? Today’s Scripture gives language for the part of us that is hungry, thirsty, wandering, and running on empty. This episode helps you stop shaming your depletion, recognize hunger as a signal, and cry out to the God who meets us with direction, belonging, and good things. You’ll learn: *Why emptiness and disorientation are not failures *How Scripture names the soul’s hunger without shame *Why depletion can make life feel flat or colorless *How crying out can become an attachment move *One honest need you can bring to God and someone safe Go Deeper: Listen to the daily episode on Psalm 37, and pre-order The Secure Soul to learn how to repair inner attachment wounds with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Peter 1:3–8 What do you do when even spiritual growth starts to feel like another standard you’re failing to meet? Today’s Scripture reminds us that growth begins not with deficiency, but with what God has already given. This episode helps you notice when healing turns into hustle, receive growth as participation with grace, and remember that the goal is not flawless self-mastery, but love. You’ll learn: *Why spiritual growth can become another form of pressure *How to tell the difference between effort rooted in fear and effort rooted in love *Why growth happens in“increasing measure” *How healing can become hustle when it’s driven by proving yourself *One way to notice the fruit already growing in you Go Deeper: This weekend, pause and name one area where you can already see the fruit of growth. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejection has a way of feeling bigger than the moment itself. A missed invitation. An unanswered text. A friendship that seems to be slipping away. An opportunity that goes to someone else. Even when we can understand why it happened, something inside us can begin telling a much older story: I'm not enough. I don't belong. This always happens to me. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Alison shares a recent experience with rejection and explores why present-day disappointments often awaken wounds from the past. Drawing from Psalm 27, attachment psychology, and the healing practice she calls Recognize and Return, she offers a compassionate framework for tending the sting of rejection without letting it define your worth. You'll learn: Why rejection often activates emotional memories far older than the present moment How to recognize when today's hurt has become an old inner narrative Why logic alone can't heal wounded places inside us How self-compassion helps right-size present disappointments The difference between extending grace to others and abandoning yourself A practical practice for moving through rejection with God's loving presence Rejection may still hurt. But it doesn't have to become the story you tell about yourself. Healing begins when today's pain is allowed to be today's pain—instead of carrying every hurt you've ever known. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 201: “This Must Be My Fault”—Why We Take Rejection So Personally 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Nehemiah 2:11–18 What do you do when something in your life has been broken for a long time, but rebuilding feels overwhelming? Today’s Scripture shows us that restoration often begins by honestly looking at the damage, listening for what God is stirring, and taking one faithful next step. This episode helps you name what has been left unprotected, discern what is yours to rebuild, and begin the good work one brick at a time. You’ll learn: *Why rebuilding begins with honest assessment *How to look at damage without becoming defined by it *Why some early hopes need to be protected before they are shared *How healthy boundaries create safety for love *One small “brick” you can put in place today Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone you trust to walk with you in the work of rebuilding. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 10:13–16 What do you do when being tender, dependent, or open feels risky? Today’s Scripture shows Jesus welcoming the children others tried to push aside — and inviting us to receive the kingdom like a child. This episode helps you reconnect with the tender, curious, receptive part of you without abandoning wisdom, discernment, or strength. You’ll learn: *Why childlike faith is not the same as being childish *How early experiences can teach us to hide tenderness or need *Why strength does not have to mean needing nothing *How Jesus welcomes the childlike part of you *What it means to receive love without earning it Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles Quiz at dralisoncook.com/quiz to better understand the role you learned to play early in life. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:21–28 What do you do when pain, bitterness, fear, or loneliness makes it hard to sense that God is near? Today’s Scripture gives language for the honest ache of feeling disconnected from God while still being held by him. This episode helps you practice recognizing what is happening inside of you and returning to the love that has never left. You’ll learn: *Why feeling far from God is normal *How to recognize what is happening inside without shame *Why “yet I am always with you” is a practice of return *How pain can magnify certain feelings *One small way to return to God when your heart feels weak Go Deeper: Join my live roundtable with Jenna Riemersma and Tammy Sollenberger on July 29 when you pre-order The Secure Soul ⁠ Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Titus 3:3–7What happens when even your faith begins to feel like another place where you have to prove yourself? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God saves and renews us not because of how well we perform, but because of His kindness, love, and mercy. This episode will help you recognize when good qualities such as responsibility, faithfulness, and helpfulness are being driven by a fear that you must earn love. You’ll learn:*How striving for approval can turn into chronic overfunctioning*Why shame often disguises itself as spiritual maturity*The difference between God’s conviction and self-condemnation*How your early experiences of love may shape the way you imagine God*How to recognize the urge to prove yourself and return to mercy Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles Quiz to discover how the role you learned early in life may still shape your ability to receive love—from others, from yourself, and from God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the greatest risk isn't failing? What if it's losing yourself while trying to succeed? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Survivor 50 winner Aubry Bracco for a conversation about resilience, identity, and what it means to stay grounded in yourself through both success and disappointment. Aubry shares the deeply personal journey behind her years on Survivor—from experiencing a panic attack on national television and falling just short of winning, to stepping away from the game entirely after realizing she'd become disconnected from herself. Years later, she returned with a different mindset—not to prove herself, but to trust herself. That shift changed everything. Whether you're facing a setback, navigating a major life transition, or learning to quiet the pressure to achieve, this conversation is a reminder that true confidence isn't found in controlling the outcome—it's found in staying connected to who you are. You'll learn: Why resilience is built by staying present, not chasing perfection How setbacks can become invitations to deeper healing The difference between adapting and abandoning yourself Why taking risks doesn't require certainty—it requires trust How to distinguish your own inner wisdom from others' expectations What it looks like to pursue success without losing your sense of self Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn't guaranteeing the outcome. It's trusting yourself enough to take the next step anyway. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 1:10–18 What do you do when someone misreads your pain and assumes the worst about you? Today’s Scripture introduces us to Hannah, whose anguish is mistaken for wrongdoing even as she is pouring out her soul to God. Her story reminds us that other people may misunderstand your tears, your reactions, or the years behind your pain—but God does not. This episode will help you bring the parts of your story that feel tangled, wordless, or repeatedly misread into the presence of the God who sees clearly. You’ll learn:*Why being misunderstood can make pain feel even more isolating*What Hannah’s wordless prayer teaches us about honest connection with God*Why your pain does not have to be perfectly explained to be seen*How to advocate for yourself when someone gets your story wrong*One way to release pain you have been holding insideGo Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to bring every part of yourself—including the parts that feel wordless or misunderstood—into the compassionate presence of God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 11:17–27, 32–36 What do you do when grief leaves you wondering where God was—and why He didn’t intervene? Today’s Scripture shows us a Jesus who does not rush past sorrow, shame us for our questions, or demand that hope replace our tears. He enters the place of pain and weeps with us. This episode will help you honor your grief without mistaking it for a failure of faith. You’ll learn:*Why Jesus wept even though He knew resurrection was coming*How spiritualizing grief too quickly can leave you feeling more alone*Why disappointment with God does not disqualify you from closeness with Him*What it means to let Jesus witness the place of your deepest pain*Why Christian hope makes room for both resurrection and lament Go Deeper:Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David KesslerEpisode 98: Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 145:8–18What do you do when loneliness starts to make you question God’s nearness? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God does not ask us to come with polished words, tidy emotions, or perfect faith. God draws near when we call on him in truth. This episode will help you bring your actual self into God’s presence, including the parts of you that feel angry, unseen, disappointed, or far away. You’ll learn:*Why loneliness can begin to distort how you see God*What it means to call on God “in truth”*Why honesty with God creates connection instead of distance*How spiritual performance can leave hurting parts of you alone*One simple way to reach for God when you cannot feel His nearness Go Deeper:Read The Secure Soul to learn how to recognize the parts of you that feel far from God and return to His loving presence. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 John 3:18–20 What do you do when the harshest voice in your life is the one inside you? Today’s Scripture helps us distinguish between true conviction, which leads to repair and life, and self-condemnation, which crushes us with shame. This episode helps you recognize the inner critic, notice when self-criticism starts to sound spiritual, and rest your heart in the presence of the God who is greater than your heart. You’ll learn:*The difference between conviction and condemnation*Why sensitive, conscientious people often mistake shame for maturity*How the inner critic tries to protect you through harshness*Why God’s full knowledge of you is comfort, not threat*One way to respond when your inner critic gets loud Go Deeper: Episode 140: How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your FaultRead I Shouldn’t Feel This Way for help distinguishing true guilt from false guilt. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility? In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive. Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes. You'll learn: The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection How to stop centering your life around changing another person Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope. Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes. Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God. Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?” Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard—The Relationship Skills No One Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Judges 6:11–16What do you do when God calls you beloved, strong, courageous, or capable — but a part of you does not believe it applies to you? Today’s Scripture shows God meeting Gideon while he is afraid and hiding, then calling him a “mighty warrior.” This episode helps you notice the old stories you’ve been living under and begin trusting God’s presence more than your fear, insecurity, or family narrative. You’ll learn:*Why God’s truth about you can feel unfamiliar at first*How old narratives shape what you believe you’re capable of*Why God calls Gideon while he is still hiding*The difference between false affirmation and holy naming*How to go in the strength you actually have todayGo Deeper: Share this episode with someone who struggles to believe what God says about them. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 18:35–43 What do you do when you’ve learned to swallow your needs, lower your voice, or stop asking for help? Today’s Scripture shows a blind man crying out to Jesus while the crowd tells him to be quiet — and Jesus stops to listen. This episode helps you notice where you’ve been trained into silence, reclaim the dignity of your longing, and answer Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” You’ll learn:*Why your needs may feel inconvenient or “too much”*How learned silence develops when your voice has been dismissed*Why Jesus is not irritated by your longing*How desire can become a doorway to encounter*One honest way to answer Jesus’ question todayGo Deeper: Take a moment to write down your answer to Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 77:1–12 What do you do when you believe in God, keep showing up, and still feel nothing? Today’s Scripture gives language for spiritual desolation — the ache of crying out to God and not feeling comforted. This episode helps you bring honest questions to God, understand why distress can make it hard to feel what you know, and practice remembering when God feels far away. You’ll learn:*Why not feeling God does not mean you are outside the life of faith*How Psalm 77 gives permission for honest questions*Why distress can narrow your sense of what is true*How remembering becomes a practice of spiritual reorientation*What to do when faith feels more like an ember than a flameGo Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to reconnect with the parts of you that feel distant from God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 1:15–20 What do you do when your nervous system believes everything depends on you? Today’s Scripture reminds us that it is in Christ (not in our own control)that all things hold together. This episode helps you recognize over-responsibility, release what was never yours to carry, and learn how to participate in love without becoming the hidden center of everyone else’s life. You’ll learn: *Why responsibility can become over-responsibility *How overfunctioning makes every need feel like your obligation *Why your role is participation vs. playing God *One thing you can release today Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to help over-functioning parts of you recognize old patterns and return to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Can I forgive someone and still keep healthy boundaries?" "Why does forgiveness still feel impossible?" Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful teachings of the Christian faith—and one of the most misunderstood. Many of us learned that forgiveness meant moving on quickly, letting go of our anger, or restoring a relationship before trust had been rebuilt. But what if forgiveness isn't about minimizing harm at all? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with theologian, author, and advocate Dr. Amy Orr-Ewing to explore a richer, more biblically grounded understanding of forgiveness. Together they unpack the difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, justice, and repair—and why naming the truth of what happened is an essential part of healing. Whether you're navigating family wounds, betrayal, church hurt, or simply wondering why forgiveness feels so difficult, this conversation offers both compassion and hope. You'll learn: Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. How forgiveness differs from denying or minimizing harm. Why anger can be a healthy and necessary part of healing. How forgiveness and justice can exist together. What Scripture teaches about forgiveness after abuse or betrayal. Why forgiveness is often a journey rather than a single decision. How God's grace empowers forgiveness without requiring self-abandonment. Forgiveness isn't pretending the wound never happened. It's telling the truth about what was lost while slowly allowing God's grace to heal what was broken. Make sure to check out Amy’s new book, “Forgiveness: Reclaiming Its Power in a Culture of Outrage and Fear” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness and Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Numbers 13:25–33 What do you do when fear makes a hard conversation, new opportunity, or uncertain future feel bigger than your capacity to face it? Today’s Scripture shows how fear can distort self-perception, magnify obstacles, and make us feel like “grasshoppers in our own eyes.” This episode helps you notice fear without letting it shrink your sense of God, yourself, or what is possible. You’ll learn:*How fear can become a lens that distorts reality*Why courage is not the absence of fear*How fear magnifies obstacles and minimizes your capacity*Why remembering God’s faithfulness helps restore perspective*One brave next step you can take without solving the whole futureGo Deeper: Listen to Episode 41, “Boundaries With Fear and Anxiety,” and explore the free Boundaries for Your Soul resources Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 13:34–35 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when someone you love will not come close, receive help, or change the pattern that is hurting them? Today’s Scripture gives us a tender and honest picture of Jesus longing to gather Jerusalem like a hen gathers her chicks —and grieving that they were not willing. This episode helps you love deeply without overfunctioning, chasing, fixing, or taking responsibility for someone else’s response. You’ll learn: *Why love can be fully offered and still refused*How overfunctioning often grows out of anxiety and attachment distress*Why Jesus grieves without controlling*The difference between loving someone and becoming responsible for their agency*How to love with both tenderness and limits Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to recognize the controller part of you that’s trying to help — and return it to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 37:1–8 What do you do when someone who hurt you seems to be winning? Today’s Scripture speaks into the anger, grief, resentment, and fixation that can rise up when people do harm and appear to get away with it. This episode helps you care about justice without letting someone else’s wrongdoing take over your inner life. You’ll learn: *Why “do not fret” means more than “do not worry” *How your nervous system can get locked onto someone else’s wrongdoing *The difference between righteous concern and corrosive fixation *Why Psalm 37 is grounding, not spiritual bypassing *One question to ask: What is mine to do, and what is God’s to hold? Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who’s struggling to stop replaying what happened. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ ⁠Join⁠ 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7–10 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you’ve prayed for something to change—and it still hasn’t? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on one of the most uncomfortable passages in the New Testament: Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Paul pleads with God three times for it to be removed, and God does not remove it. Instead, God gives him a promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” We explore: *Why unresolved pain can feel so hard to carry*What Paul’s thorn teaches us about weakness and grace*The difference between acceptance and resignation*How fighting what cannot be changed can compound suffering*What it means for Christ’s power to “rest” on us in weakness Go Deeper: Episode 208: Spiritual Dryness, Burnout, and the Desert Seasons of Faith with Tish Harrison Warren Read I Shouldn’t Feel This Way to learn more about naming what’s hard and discerning whether to change it, leave it, or suffer wisely Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever noticed how quickly old patterns resurface when you're around family? Maybe you find yourself walking on eggshells. Struggling to voice your preferences. Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Or slipping back into roles you thought you'd left behind years ago. In this episode, Dr. Alison revisits one of the most requested conversations from the podcast, exploring how the dynamics we experienced growing up continue to shape our relationships today. Through the lens of attachment theory, boundaries, and family systems, Alison unpacks five common patterns that can influence the way we show up with the people we love—and how awareness is the first step toward healing. You'll learn: *Why family relationships can pull us back into old roles *What enmeshment is—and how it differs from healthy closeness *Five family patterns that often follow us into adulthood *How childhood experiences shape the way we handle conflict, boundaries, and relationships *Practical steps to help you begin breaking free from unhealthy dynamics Healing begins by telling the truth with wisdom, compassion, and truth—so you can love others without losing yourself. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode 178 How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Genesis 21:14–19 What if the help you need is closer than you can see right now? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Hagar in the wilderness—a woman who had been used, cast out, and left to survive what she did not choose. When the water runs out, Hagar reaches the end of herself. But God hears, draws near, and opens her eyes to a well that was already there. We explore: *Why despair narrows our vision Need help finding the well in front of you?Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and use the search bar to type in whatever you’re carrying today—anxiety, grief, shame, boundaries, resentment, burnout, or anything else that feels heavy. You’ll find past episodes and conversations with experts that may offer the next small mercy, resource, or perspective you need. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 14:22–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**Have you ever taken a risk, stepped out in faith, and then wondered if you made a mistake? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Peter walking on water toward Jesus. Peter begins with courage, but when the wind picks up, fear takes over and he starts to sink. This passage reminds us that fear does not mean faith has disappeared—it may mean our attention has become divided. We explore:*Why courage can feel frightening after we step out*How fear narrows our attention and distorts what we see*Why Peter’s sinking was not the end of the story*What it means that Jesus reaches out immediately Go Deeper: Learn more about steadying yourself through fear in my new book The Secure Soul. Start reading now when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on David’s honest prayer: “My spirit fails.” This is not a polished prayer or a failure of faith. It is a truthful prayer from a depleted soul. If you’re still functioning on the outside but feel dry, drained, or quietly unraveling on the inside, this passage gives you language for coming to God exactly as you are. We explore: *Why depletion is not laziness or spiritual failure *How emotional exhaustion impacts your nervous system *What actually helps restore us *Next steps to take when you're feeling depleted Go Deeper: If today’s devotion helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who might need the same encouragement. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 1:3–12 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Why is it so hard to receive a love that's freely given—especially if you’ve learned that love has to be earned, approval is conditional, or goodness is for other people? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Paul’s astonishing words about blessing, belovedness, adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Before Paul gives the Ephesians instructions for how to live, he reminds them who they already are in Christ. We explore: *Why responsibility can feel safer than receiving*What a shame schema is and how it filters out goodness*Why love, grace, and belonging can feel threatening*The difference between entitlement and true belonging*How to live from belovedness instead of working for it Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God’s love, check out Dr. Alison’s new book The Secure Soul - start reading today when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scripture is powerful.  It has the power to comfort, guide, convict, and restore. But when it's taken out of context or used to control, it can also leave deep wounds. In this conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and Mending the Soul co-founder Dr. Steven Tracy to explore how Scripture can be used as medicine—or as poison—for those who have experienced abuse. Together, they unpack some of the most commonly misused passages around submission, forgiveness, honoring parents, and divorce, while offering a more faithful way of reading Scripture: one that reflects God's heart for the vulnerable, the oppressed, and the wounded. Here’s what you’ll cover * Why spiritually abusive people often weaponize Scripture* How to recognize the difference between biblical truth and spiritual manipulation* What God reveals about His heart for those experiencing abuse* Why humility matters when we interpret Scripture* How healthy boundaries honor both God and human dignity* How survivors can begin rebuilding trust in both God and His Word Whether you've experienced spiritual abuse yourself, love someone who has, or simply want to handle Scripture with greater wisdom and compassion, this conversation offers both clarity and hope. Because God's Word was never meant to keep you trapped in harm. It was always meant to lead you toward healing. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Read Dr. Steven Tracy’s book: To Heal or Harm Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Zechariah 8:4–5 What if one of the clearest signs of healing isn’t just that danger ends—but that joy returns? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Zechariah’s beautiful vision of restoration: elderly men and women sitting safely in the streets, and children playing again. It’s a picture of hope after devastation, safety after fear, and joy returning to the most vulnerable places. We explore:*Why play is a sign of safety and healing*How survival mode can crowd out joy, creativity, and delight*What Zechariah’s vision teaches us about shalom and restoration*Why God’s vision of healing includes the vulnerable, the elderly, and the young*How to help the younger parts of you remember what safety feels like Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy: Breaking Free from Fear, Cynicism, and Toxic Positivity with Therapist Nicole Zasowski Episode 198: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 5:1–20 Have you ever started answering to a name your pain gave you? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the story of the man living among the tombs in Mark 5—a man whose torment had become his name. When Jesus asks, “What is your name?” he does not ask in order to shame him, but to surface what has claimed him and begin the work of setting him free. We explore: *How pain can become part of your identity *The difference between carrying a wound and becoming defined by it Why shame collapses the self and makes change feel impossible *How Jesus separates who you are from what has tormented you *What it means to receive a truer name from God Go Deeper: Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Muddamalle on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Episode 158: Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Monica DiCristina Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:1–7 What do you do when you feel so tired, stretched thin, or aware of your need that even prayer feels vulnerable? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the tender image of a God who bends low to hear us. This passage gives us permission to bring our need honestly into God’s presence—not as a shame statement, but as a truth statement. We explore: *Why need can feel so vulnerable *How attachment wounds shape the way we approach God *Why we often pray around our need instead of from our need *The difference between humility and shame *How God meets us in the poor and needy places of the soul Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God’s nearness, check out Dr. Alison’s new book, The Secure Soul. Start reading when you pre-order now. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Romans 12:15**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the holy work of mourning with those who mourn. She explores why grief often needs presence more than advice, and how attunement, co-regulation, and the way of Jesus help us sit with sorrow without rushing to fix it. We explore:*Why grief can feel so isolating*What it means to offer attuned presence instead of advice, fixing, or forced comfort*Why co-regulation helps a grieving person feel less alone*How Jesus responds to grief*How to sit with the grieving parts of your own soul with tenderness and love Go Deeper:Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with David KesslerEpisode 98: Why Your Grief Matters and How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with Chaplain JS Park Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if healing isn’t just about changing your circumstances—but also tending what’s been growing inside of you? Last week, we explored the metaphor of seed and soil: the way your nature and your nurture shape who you become. This week, we’re going deeper. Because your inner world isn’t just one plant—it’s more like a whole garden. In this episode, we’ll explore the difference between tending your inner garden and tending the outer soil around you. You’ll learn why old patterns can still show up even after you’ve changed your life, why boundaries are not punishment, and how real healing involves both compassion for what grew inside of you and courage to change what surrounds you now. Here’s what we cover: *How to recognize the tender, resilient, overgrown, and buried parts of your inner world *Why changing your outer environment helps—but doesn’t automatically heal the inner one *The difference between boundaries as punishment and boundaries as self-stewardship *How differentiation helps you stay connected to yourself, even in difficult relationships *Why real change is possible, even if the soil around you has been hard Real healing is rarely a single breakthrough moment. It's the slow, faithful work of tending what has been entrusted to you, one step at a time. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 212: Why You Feel Everything So Deeply (and Other People Don’t): Childhood, Sensitivity & the Nervous System Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 20:12–17In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the complicated loyalty Jonathan faces as Saul’s son and David’s friend. Through the lens of family systems, she explores what happens when love, truth, guilt, and unhealthy family roles collide. We explore:*Why family loyalty does not mean covering for harm or pretending everything is okay*How family systems often work to maintain silence, balance, and familiar roles*What differentiation means—and why it helps you stay connected without abandoning yourself*Why guilt can show up when you step out of an old family role*How to name what is true with wisdom, courage, and love Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles QuizEpisode 85: The Goal of a Health Family & 6 Roles We Take On in DysfunctionEpisode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam YoungEpisode 161: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 6:31-32**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus’ tender invitation to come away to a quiet place and rest. She explores overstimulation, constant availability, and why honoring your limits is not a failure of love—it may be what helps you return to love. We explore:*Why overstimulation is often a capacity issue*How noise, touch, screens, interruptions, and emotional demands affect your nervous system*Why Jesus honors human limits instead of shaming them*How to step away from the noise without abandoning the people you love*Why quiet, rest, and spaciousness are so importantGo Deeper:Episode 176: Intimacy with God in a Noisy World with Dr. Stephen MacchiaEpisode 122: Balancing Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 34: 4-8In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on what it means to bring fear into the presence of God. Instead of shaming fear or trying to force it away, she offers a compassionate way to recognize the fearful places within us and return to love. We explore:*Why fear can become a quiet but powerful inner leader*How fear and shame work together to keep us hiding*What it means to recognize fear without letting it run the whole system*Why “taste and see” invites us to experience God’s goodness in an embodied way*How secure attachment with God begins as we bring fearful parts of us into loving presence Go Deeper:Recognize fearful places within through Dr. Alison's new book & workbook The Secure Soul - you can start reading today when you preorder! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the often misunderstood language of submission. She explores the heart of Paul’s teaching through the lens of Jesus: mutual reverence, self-giving love, and power expressed through care—not control. We explore:*What submission is not *Why Ephesians 5 begins with mutual submission and must be read through the way of Jesus*How religious language can sometimes reinforce fear, control, or self-abandonment*Why real love creates space for both people to become more whole, honest, and free*What mutuality looks like in relationships marked by dignity, accountability, and truthGo Deeper:Episode 56: Am I really Supposed to Die to Myself?Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter?Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of You here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected?  In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You’ll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You’ll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 17:5–8 In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the powerful image of a tree planted by water. She explores what happens when we ask approval, productivity, perfectionism, control, or another person’s response to carry the full weight of our security. We explore: *Why needing people is not the problem—but making one person your source can drain your soul *How approval, productivity, perfectionism, and control can become fragile root systems *Why fear-based attachment makes it hard to receive goodness *How to become like a tree planted by water, steady even when heat or drought comes *How secure attachment with God helps you receive love without clinging to it Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 9:43–47**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you keep returning to the same behavior—the one that offers relief in the moment but leaves you feeling ashamed, disconnected, or farther from love? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus’ intense words in Mark 9:43–47 and reframes them not as an invitation to self-hatred, but as a call to radical honesty and freedom. We explore: *How to break a bad habit without getting trapped in shame*Why patterns like numbing, resentment, control, people-pleasing, comparison, or fantasy can pull us away from love*How compulsive behaviors shape your nervous system, desires, and relationships*Why willpower alone usually isn’t enough to change a deeply patterned behavior*How creating distance from triggers can become a wise spiritual practice Go Deeper:Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Al on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 40:1–3 What do you do when you’ve prayed, waited, done the work, and still feel stuck in the middle of a pit? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Psalm 40:1–3 and the kind of patience that isn’t passive, polished, or emotionally detached—but deeply honest before God. This episode is for anyone who feels worn down by waiting and needs a reminder that God hears, turns toward, and meets us with love one small step at a time. We explore: *Why biblical patience doesn't mean suppressing your emotions *Why Christian hope is different from forced optimism *What it means to find “a firm place to stand” *How God forms a new song in us slowly Go Deeper: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul: Why It Happens and What It Means Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Anger can be confusing—especially if you were taught it was bad, dangerous, or unspiritual. But Scripture gives us a more nuanced path: anger itself is not automatically sin, but it does need care.Today’s episode looks at Ephesians 4 and the difference between anger as a signal and anger as a force that can harm when left untended. We explore: *Why anger is a mobilizing emotion *Why “do not let the sun go down” should not be used to force premature reconciliation *How to slow your body down before anger takes over *What it means to practice honesty without harm Go Deeper: Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies Episode 44: Why Anger Can Become a Surprising Friend Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When did being a responsible adult become synonymous with being serious all the time? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that curiosity, playfulness, imagination, and wonder were things we needed to leave behind in order to grow up. But what if those qualities aren't distractions from a meaningful life? What if they're essential to it? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with entrepreneur, creative visionary, and author Piera Gelardi to explore why playfulness is far more than a luxury—it's a powerful source of resilience, creativity, connection, and emotional well-being. Together, they unpack how stress, perfectionism, and the pressure to "have it all together" disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how reclaiming play can help us feel more alive. You'll learn: Why playfulness is a sign of emotional health How stress, perfectionism, and the "cool police" rob us of joy The surprising connection between play and resilience How to move from a pressured state into a playful state Practical ways to reconnect with curiosity, wonder, and creativity Why childlike qualities may actually be your greatest strengths This conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, laugh a little more, and rediscover the parts of yourself that make you feel most alive. More Resources: Order Piera’s book, The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Numbers 11:10–17There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling responsible for too many people, emotions, needs, and outcomes. Today’s episode looks at Moses’ honest breaking point in Numbers 11 and the mercy of God’s response. God does not shame Moses for being overwhelmed. He gives him support. *The hidden exhaustion of over-responsibility*Why capable people often struggle to receive help*How survival strategies become burnout*Why limits are not a failure of love*The mercy of shared burden Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 1:35–39 When everyone needs something from you, it can feel loving—even responsible—to respond immediately. But there is a difference between compassion and being controlled by demand. Today’s episode looks at Mark 1 and the surprising way Jesus responds when everyone is looking for him. He withdraws to pray, stays rooted in God, and moves from clarity instead of urgency. We explore: *Why over-functioning often starts with anxiety *What Jesus models instead *The difference between compassion and compulsion *Why solitude and prayer help with discernment *How to discern what is truly yours to carry today Go Deeper: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Over-Functioning: Discover the Hidden Cost of Always Being the Responsible One Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 46:1–7 When life feels unsteady, our bodies often know before our minds do. We tighten, scan, spiral, and reach for control—trying to make uncertainty disappear before we let ourselves rest. Today’s episode walks through Psalm 46 and the promise that God is not our escape from trouble, but our ever-present help in trouble. In this episode, we explore: *The difference between spiritual grounding and spiritual bypassing *What Psalm 46 teaches us about refuge, strength, and control *How to return to God’s presence when life feels unstable *One small embodied practice for finding steadiness today Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 3:12–15 Every morning, we get dressed before stepping into the world—but what are we wearing on the inside? In today’s episode, we reflect on Colossians 3. This isn’t about performing spiritual maturity or pretending hard feelings aren’t there. It’s about receiving the qualities of Christ deep within your own soul, so they can begin to shape how you show up for yourself and others. We explore: *How anxiety, resentment, shame, or defensiveness can become something you “wear” *Why identity comes before spiritual practice *How compassion and kindness are practiced (without bypassing what's hard) *A simple way to start your day Go Deeper: Preorder The Secure Soul now and get access to the first three chapters, plus my free masterclass, Healing the Wounds That Shape Us Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually mean to raise an emotionally mature child? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, whose groundbreaking book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" helped millions name what they didn’t receive growing up. Now, Dr. Gibson turns toward a new question: How do we become the kind of parents who help our children feel safe, seen, respected, and emotionally strong? Together, they explore the emotional foundation children truly need—not perfection, but presence. They unpack what emotional maturity looks like, the impact of being raised by an emotionally immature parent, and how we can begin to give our own children the kind of parenting they need. You’ll explore: The signs of an emotionally immature parent What a “good enough” parent actually looks like How repair builds trust more than perfection does The dance of balancing connection and autonomy  How to create emotional safety for your child Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply learning how to become more emotionally mature yourself—this conversation offers a hopeful, grounded framework for growth. Because healthy parenting isn’t about raising perfect kids. It’s about creating the kind of emotional soil where both you and your child can grow. More Resources: Order Dr. Lindsay’s new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 175: A Game-Changing Toolkit to Help Kids Conquer Worry and Build Courage with David Thomas and Sissy Goff Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1–10 Have you ever wondered if God was speaking, but you weren’t sure? In today’s episode, we look at the story of Samuel learning to recognize God’s voice. His story reminds us that discernment is not always instant clarity. Sometimes it begins with practice, humility, repetition, and the help of wise guides. We explore: *Why discernment often takes practice *How anxiety and urgency can masquerade as guidance *How your nervous system impacts your ability to listen *What Samuel teaches us about hearing God with humility and openness Go Deeper: Check out our weekly deep-dive episodes each Thursday on The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 2:1–11 What do you do when you’ve run out of energy, patience, joy, or capacity? In today’s episode, we look at Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana, where the wine runs out and Jesus quietly meets a hidden need. This passage offers a tender picture of a God who does not shame our lack, but meets us with dignity and generosity. We explore: *Why running out does not mean you’ve failed *How burnout shows up in your body and nervous system *Why honest naming can become a prayer *How Jesus meets hidden depletion before it becomes public shame *One small way to bring your burn-out to God today Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 8:1-9 Have you ever looked up at the sky and felt both small and strangely held? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 8 and the healing power of wonder. We’ll look at how awe quiets the anxious ego, helps the nervous system soften, and reminds us that being small does not mean being insignificant. We explore: *Why awe helps interrupt anxiety and overcontrol *The difference between humility and self-erasure *How wonder restores your sense of belovedness *Why childlike faith begins with receiving, not striving Go Deeper: Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos Whittaker Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you’ve ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today’s reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if getting “triggered” isn’t the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you’re not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what’s really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what’s happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You’ll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you’ve ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  MOSH - Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18 What’s the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today’s reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth’s freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore: *How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty *Why Ruth’s commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency *How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them *Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure *When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:29–30 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Some Bible passages don’t just make us think—they make our bodies brace. In today’s reflection on Matthew 5:29–30, Dr. Alison Cook offers a compassionate way to read one of Jesus’ hardest teachings without fear, shame, or self-condemnation. This episode explores: *How fear-based religion can shape the way your body hears Scripture *What happens in the brain when the amygdala perceives threat *Why repentance means turning toward love, not turning against yourself *How God’s holiness always leads us toward healing and wholeness. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8 When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today’s reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore: *Why your nervous system scans for safety *How hypervigilance develops *Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body *How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety Go Deeper: Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Galatians 1:10 Have you ever said yes when something inside you wanted to say no? In today’s episode, we look at Galatians 1:10 and the hidden cost of living for approval. In this episode, you’ll learn: *How approval-seeking disconnects you from your own voice *How early family roles shape your need for approval *Why the helper, peacekeeper, or responsible one within may still be leading •How to find your own inner compass instead Go Deeper: Take our new Family Roles Quiz! Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam Young Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take on in Dysfunction Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the dry, weary place you’re in isn’t something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you’re not in crisis, but you’re not exactly flourishing either. You’re tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It’s not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you’re weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren’t signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You’ll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn’t mean you’re failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don’t have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources: 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Order What Grows in Weary Lands - out this week! You can preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day Episode 176: Dr. Stephen Macchia on Intimacy with God in a Noisy World Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 16:1–7 Have you ever felt overlooked— not chosen, not noticed, not even considered? In today’s episode, we look at the story of Samuel anointing David and what it reveals about how easily we evaluate ourselves and others by what is visible. We explore: *How the halo effect shapes who gets noticed, chosen, or valued *Why external validation is a shaky foundation for your identity *How to stop measuring your worth by systems that were never designed to see you clearly *What David’s story reveals about hidden faithfulness, quiet seasons, and the God who sees what others miss Go Deeper: Dr. Alison shares her journey through feeling unseen in The Secure Soul. Click here to read the first 3 chapters & join free masterclass on the wounds that shape you Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 7:37–39 Have you ever wanted to bring something real into the light—but felt afraid of being judged? In today’s episode, we look at the woman in Luke 7 who walks into a room full of people who already think they know her story and brings her whole self to the feet of Jesus. This passage shows us the difference between shame that keeps us hiding and the kind of love that helps us come close. We’ll explore: *Why shame thrives in secrecy *Why people judge & how it affects both the person judging & others *The corrective emotional experience of dignity, compassion, and love found in Jesus Go Deeper: Episode 23: Am I Wounded or am I Sinful? Read the first 3 Chapters of my new book The Secure Soul, when you preorder Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 32:3–7 Have you ever carried something so long that it started to feel normal? In today’s episode, we look at Psalm 32 and what happens when hidden guilt, shame, or regret stays buried inside the body and soul. I’ll walk you through the difference between true guilt and shame, why suppression can take such a physical toll, and how honest confession can become a doorway into freedom, safety, and deeper connection with God. We'll explore: *Why hidden guilt can show up in your body as tension, exhaustion, or anxiety *The difference between true guilt and shame *What psychology research us shows us about confession as a path toward safety, not rejection *How God meets you with mercy when you stop hiding Go Deeper: Read True Guilt vs. False Guilt on my blog Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and type “guilt” into the search bar to find past episodes on this topic. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7There’s a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling like nothing you do makes a difference. In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores 2 Timothy 1:7 and the psychology of feeling powerless. Drawing on the concept of learned helplessness and nervous system overwhelm, she unpacks why you may feel stuck, shut down, or unable to act—and how to begin reclaiming your voice, one small step at a time. We'll explore: *What learned helplessness is and how it shapes your sense of agency*Why feeling powerless isn’t weakness—but a nervous system adaptation*The difference between true power vs. control or over-functioning*A simple, grounded way to begin reclaiming your voice todayGo Deeper:Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of YouRead blog post on Confident Leadership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your mind? Maybe it was something your partner said. A text that felt off. A moment at work. A look on someone’s face. Suddenly your mind is looping, analyzing, judging, and trying to solve something that never seems to resolve. Today’s conversation with science writer Donna Jackson Nakazawa is about rumination—what many of us experience as overthinking, thought spirals, or getting mentally stuck. Donna brings together powerful neuroscience, personal story, and practical tools to help us understand why our minds loop, what those loops are trying to show us, and how we can begin to interrupt them with compassion and clarity. We explore: Why rumination is not random—and what it reveals The difference between productive reflection and a mental loop that leaves you feeling worse Why social media can trigger rumination so quickly Donna’s MIST framework for stopping the spiral This conversation is especially for you if you’ve ever thought, Why can’t I just let this go? or Why am I still thinking about this? Get Donna's new book, Mind Drama here Connect with Donna here Preorder my brand new book The Secure Soul Want to hear more episodes like this? Start here: Episode 158:  Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Therapist Monica DiCristina Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly wisdom here.  ‍Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for us to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Kings 5:1–14Why do we resist the very things that could actually help us heal? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5 and the deeply human tendency to reject simple, meaningful steps toward healing. With insight from psychology and identity formation, she unpacks why small, ordinary actions can feel threatening—especially when your sense of self has been built around strength, control, or self-sufficiency. We’ll explore:*Why we resist change—even when we want it*How the false self and identity can block healing*Why simple solutions can feel “too small” for deep pain*How small, repeated steps become the pathway to real transformation Go Deeper:Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel EarleyCheck out our new website with all the daily episodes linked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 4:35–41What happens when fear takes over your body—and you can’t think clearly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4, alongside the psychology of panic, fear, and the nervous system. She explains why your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, why you feel the urge to fix or control everything, and how to gently return to calm. We'll explore:*What’s happening in your brain during panic *Why anxiety can feel urgent and all-consuming*The link between fear, over-functioning, and control*A simple grounding practice to help your body return to calm and presenceGo Deeper:Episode 185: A Real-Time Practice to Help You Return to God’s Loving Presence When You're Anxious or OverwhelmedEpisode 129: Understanding Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner ResilienceEmail your topics and passage ideas at info@dralisoncook.comSign up for Dr. Alison's free weekly email for more insight and resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:1–3, 12–17 Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and felt that quiet ache—like you’re somehow behind? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores Psalm 73 and the deeply human struggle of comparison. With insight from psychology and attachment patterns, she unpacks why comparison can feel so destabilizing—and how to return to your own life with clarity and compassion. We explore:*Why upward social comparison can distort your sense of worth*How comparison pulls you out of your own life and into an imagined hierarchy*The connection between comparison, self-doubt, and over-functioning*Why you can’t “think” your way out of comparison—and what actually helps*A grounding practice to help you return to your own life and God’s presence Go Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)When Life Feels Unfair (and Why Comparison Keeps you Stuck Read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: James 1:5–8Struggling to make a decision or stuck in overthinking? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the real reason behind indecision and how learning to work with the different parts of you can help you find clarity and move forward. We explore:*Indecision and overthinking*Inner conflict and parts work*Decision fatigue and self-doubt*Finding clarity without forcing answers Go Deeper:Get a guided journal and the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn’t because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what’s really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn’t to fight those parts of you. It’s to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna’s simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You’ll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what’s happening inside you—and when it’s wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna’s new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160:  When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11If you feel stuck in a season that won’t change, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate way to navigate uncertainty without forcing what isn’t ready. We explore:*Emotional stuckness and waiting*Anxiety about the future*Control vs. surrender*Finding peace in the uncertaintyEmail us at info@dralisoncook.com with topics or passages you'd like us to cover! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 20:1–16Ever notice how quickly comparison can steal your peace—even when life is going well? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the psychology of social comparison and how it shapes your sense of worth, helping you move from insecurity to grounded confidence . We explore:*Social comparison and insecurity*Why comparison feels like a threat*Letting go of keeping score*Finding peace in your own storyGo Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself—and How to Heal ItRead my free e-book She's Better Than Me here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 127:1–2If you feel constantly exhausted, it may not be about doing too much—but about carrying what was never yours to carry. In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 127 and the concept of “anxious toil,” integrating attachment theory and nervous system insight to help you release over-responsibility and rediscover rest. We explore:*Overfunctioning and burnout*Hypervigilance and the nervous system*How we start to build the wrong thingGo Deeper:Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning—Discover the Hidden Costs of Always Being 'The Responsible One’Check out our new webpage here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: 1 Thessalonians 5:9–11 In a culture that prizes independence, this episode offers a countercultural truth: healing happens in connection. Drawing on both Scripture and research on community and mental health, Dr. Alison explores how small, consistent relationships can restore your sense of belonging. In this episode: *Why community is essential for emotional health *Research on connection, resilience, and well-being *The power of micro-connections (small, daily interactions) *How to rebuild trust after relational hurt or church hurt *What mutual, healthy connection really looks like Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal It? Episode 181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a diagnosis, chronic illness, or unexpected health challenge enters your life, it can divide your story into a before and after. And often, we don’t have language for what’s happening beneath the surface. In this episode, Dr. Alison and Dr. James C. Jackson explore the concept of medical trauma—and how it impacts not just your body, but your identity, your relationships, and your sense of meaning. Because medical trauma isn’t just about what happened to you physically. It’s about what it begins to reshape internally—your sense of safety, control, and who you are. If you’ve ever felt disoriented, overwhelmed, or like life doesn’t fit the way it used to… this conversation will help you understand why and what healing can look like. You’ll explore: What medical trauma is and why it’s often overlooked The psychological impact of diagnosis, chronic illness, and navigating healthcare How suffering can reshape your identity—and how to gently reframe it The role of community in healing and why support matters What it means to live in the “both/and” of grief and hope This conversation offers a compassionate path forward—helping you learn how to live with what’s hard without letting it define all of who you are. Purchase Reclaiming Your Life From Medical Trauma here. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 64: Women’s Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body’s Changes Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  MOSH - Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ More Resources: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Proverbs 27:6 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** When a relationship feels powerful, fast, and deeply affirming, it can be hard to slow down and discern what’s real. This episode unpacks the difference between emotional intensity and genuine love—helping you recognize red flags, trust your intuition, and move toward steady, grounded connection. In this episode: *Why intensity ≠ intimacy *The psychology behind fast attachment and emotional acceleration *Subtle signs of love bombing and relational urgency *How to evaluate consistency over chemistry *What it means to build safe, sustainable connection Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Matthew 5:33-37 Why is it so hard to say what we really mean? This episode explores the emotional and psychological roots of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and softening our truth. With insight from Scripture and psychology, you’ll learn how to move toward clarity, integrity, and more honest connection. In this episode: *The hidden cost of people-pleasing and overfunctioning *How empathy and attunement can make boundaries harder *The role of the nervous system in saying yes or no *Why clarity actually creates deeper connection *Simple ways to practice honest communication without guilt Go Deeper: Episode 14: The Fawn Response & the Hidden Root of People Pleasing Episode 171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection Learn healthy boundaries in The Best of You - get the first 3 chapters free here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 68:4-10 If you’ve felt the ache of loneliness, this episode offers a deeply grounding reminder: your longing for connection is not a weakness, it’s part of how you were created. Blending Scripture with attachment psychology, Dr. Alison explores how God meets us within loneliness, not just after it’s resolved. In this episode: *The difference between loneliness and disconnection *How attachment needs shape your emotional world *Why loneliness is a signal, not a failure *A reframe of the “in-between” (wilderness) season *How to notice small, real forms of connection already present Go Deeper: Episode 42: How to Honor & Set Boundaries with Sadness & Loneliness Visit our new The Best of You Every Day web page here Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Romans 12:9–18 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** "Hate what is evil" and "bless those who persecute you" can feel like an impossible tension — until you understand what Paul is actually asking for. This episode unpacks one of scripture's most demanding passages and makes the case that clarity and love are not opposites. We explore: We'll explore: -The difference between naming harm and becoming hardened by it -What the research tells us about resentment and what chronic unforgiveness does to our bodies and brains -The two dimensions of forgiveness — and why neither requires you to minimize harm or trust someone who hasn't earned it We love hearing from you! If there is a topic or Scripture you'd like us to cover on the podcast, please email us at info@dralisoncook.com Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if procrastination isn’t about laziness… but a disconnect between who you want to be and what you actually do? So many of us carry goals we care deeply about: habits we want to build, changes we long to make, ways we want to grow. And yet, we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns, circling the same resistance, wondering why it’s so hard to follow through. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook and goals expert and New York Times bestselling author Jon Acuff explore what’s really happening beneath procrastination and how to finally begin moving forward. Because procrastination isn’t a character flaw. It’s a gap. A gap between your intentions and your actions. And over time, that gap can quietly erode something deeper: your trust in yourself. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed by your goals, or caught in cycles of starting and stopping… this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next. You’ll explore: Why procrastination isn’t about laziness and what’s actually driving it The hidden impact of broken self-trust (and how to begin rebuilding it) How your “soundtracks” (repetitive thoughts) shape your actions and results The real reason discipline alone doesn’t work and what does The 4 key places people get stuck in the growth process (and how to move forward) This conversation offers a practical, compassionate path forward, helping you close the gap between who you want to be and how you’re actually living, one small step at a time. More Resources: Make sure to grab Jon Acuff’s latest book Procrastination Proof: Never Get Stuck Again and then claim $97 worth of free bonuses. Take Jon's free procrastination profile here. Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Want to go deeper with Dr. Alison? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel Earley Episode 157: Braving Change—3 Ways to Get Unstuck and Transform Guilt and Regret 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Proverbs 4:20-23 Many of us have been taught that setting limits is selfish — that real love means giving without reserve. This episode makes the case, from both scripture and science, that boundaries are not walls against love but what protect love's integrity. We'll explore: -The research on compassion fatigue and what happens neurologically when we chronically override our own limits -The full context of Proverbs 4 — and why the wisdom writer connects attentiveness to your inner life with health to your whole body -Why guarding your heart is not a selfish act, but an act of profound faithfulness to God and the people you love To Go Deeper: Visit my blog, and type "boundaries" into the search bar. Visit my podcast, and type "boundaries" into the search bar. For more on external boundaries, see The Best of You or click here to get the first 3 chapters free For more on internal boundaries, see Boundaries For Your Soul, or click here to get free resources. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Mark 8:34–36 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** This episode tackles one of the most misused phrases in all of scripture — and one that has caused real harm for a lot of people. We look at what Jesus was actually calling us toward, through the lens of psychology and the concept of the true and false self. We explore: -The difference between denying the false self and erasing your personhood -How fear-based identity forms — and why it's not the truest version of who you are -Why "take up your cross" is not an invitation to accept abuse, toxic relationships, or depression as God's will -Jesus as a model of strength, not smallness — and what that means for us To Go Deeper: Blog post: What Does It Really Mean to Deny Yourself Get the first 3 chapters free of The Best of You Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die To Myself? Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 27:10-14 This episode explores the psychology of attachment wounds through the lens of Psalm 27—one of scripture's most honest cries about being left behind. We explore: -what neuroscience tells us about how early attachment experiences literally shape brain architecture -why our nervous systems stay on alert long after the original wound, -how the psalmist's declaration speaks directly into that place. We also explore the research on prayer and the brain, and what it might mean for our nervous systems to slowly experience being held. To Go Deeper: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why do They Matter? Episode 136: Sacred Attachment—Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love with Michael John Cusick Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even after moments of clarity or growth, many of us find ourselves returning to familiar patterns. Back to what we know. Back to what once felt safe. In John 21, the disciples go back to fishing—returning to something familiar after everything they’ve just experienced. And it’s there, in the middle of that return, that Jesus meets them again. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on why we go back to old patterns—not as failure, but as something deeply human—and how those very places can become the ground where we are met with grace and invited into something new. Today’s Scripture is: John 21:1–14 Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the health of your relationship is shaping more of your life than you realize? We spend so much time focusing on our individual growth—our healing, our self-awareness, our inner work. But at some point, that work has to find its way into our closest relationships. And that’s where things often get complicated. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by Dr. James Cordova to explore what it actually looks like to build and sustain healthy, connected relationships over time—and why it’s so much harder than we expect. Because the truth is, relationships aren’t neutral. They’re either strengthening and supporting your overall well-being…or quietly eroding it. If you’ve ever felt close to someone you love… and also strangely disconnected, this conversation will help you understand why. You’ll explore: Why relationships are more foundational to your health than you might think What actually happens as intimacy shifts over time—and why it’s not a sign something is wrong The “porcupine dilemma” and why closeness and hurt often go hand in hand How small, everyday moments either build or erode connection What it means to respond to bids for connection—and why they matter more than you realize How mindfulness and presence shape the quality of your relationships What to do when you feel stuck, disconnected, or like you’re the only one trying This conversation offers a compassionate and practical reframe:Healthy relationships aren’t about avoiding conflict or getting it right all the time. They’re about learning how to stay present, stay curious, and stay connected—even when it’s hard. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Read Dr. James Cordova’s Book: The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connectin With Your Partner Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship—Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Episode 148: Dan Allendar on Healing, Intimacy, and Hard Fights Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage with Ron and Nan Deal 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes the hardest limits we face are not external—they’re the expectations we’ve quietly learned to live within. In Acts 3, we meet a man who has spent years sitting at the temple gate, asking for what he believes is possible. When Peter and John encounter him, they offer something entirely different—something he wasn’t even expecting to receive. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on how limiting beliefs shape what we ask for, what we notice, and what we believe is available to us—and how God often meets us beyond those expectations. Today’s Scripture is: Acts 3:1–10 Go Deeper: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs? Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are moments when we find ourselves looping—replaying conversations, trying to make sense of what happened, analyzing every detail. We stay in our heads, searching for clarity This episode explores what it means to get stuck in our thoughts—and how, often, what we most need is not more analysis, but a return to presence, to relationship, and to the love already with us. Today’s Scripture is: Luke 24:13–35 Go Deeper: Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps Episode 158: The Hidden Pain Behind Distressing Thoughts Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 118 There are seasons in life when we are simply trying to get through. Holding it together. Managing what’s hard. Surviving. And then there comes a moment when something begins to shift. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to relearn joy after survival—and how joy can return, gently and gradually, as we begin to feel safe again. Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy & Breaking Free From Toxic Positivity with Nicole Zasowski Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing : Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He is risen! After walking through this Holy Week together—from safety, to betrayal, to suffering, to loss—we arrive at the moment that changes everything. Resurrection. New Life. In this short Easter bonus episode, Dr. Alison reflects on John 20 and the deeply personal nature of resurrection—how Love meets us, finds us, and calls us by name. This is the hope that allows us to face the hard places in our lives. This is the reason we can walk through grief without losing ourselves. Because what feels like an ending is not the end of the story. Today’s Scripture is: John 20 Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we’ve been walking through a special Easter devotional journey—following the story of Jesus as it unfolds from safety, to rupture, to suffering. Today, we arrive at Good Friday. This is the day everything seems to fall apart. The day marked by loss, grief, and deep disorientation. In John 19, we witness the final moments of Jesus’ life—where hope appears to give way to death, and nothing makes sense in the way it once did. This episode creates space to sit in that reality—to acknowledge the weight of what is lost, and the very human experience of not yet knowing what comes next. Today’s Scripture is: John 19 **Join me for a special Easter devotional on Sunday. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if love doesn’t wait until you’re ready… but meets you right in the middle of the mess? This week, as part of the Holy Week series on The Best of You Every Day, Dr. Alison offers a deeper dive into one of the most intimate and unsettling moments in the story of Jesus—the night before everything changes. At the table, surrounded by people who will betray, deny, and abandon him, Jesus doesn’t withdraw. He doesn’t wait for clarity or understanding. He offers himself anyway. If you’ve ever struggled to receive love… especially after being hurt, this episode will help you understand why. Let’s explore: Why doesn’t healing always feel comfortable in the moment? The reasons we sometimes struggle to receive love The difference between protecting yourself… and closing yourself off How to take one small step toward receiving love This conversation offers a gentle, faith-rooted invitation to slow down this Holy Week—to sit in the tension, the confusion, and the not-yet—and to begin receiving love right where you are, even if it feels unfamiliar, imperfect, or hard to trust. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s the week leading up to Easter, and each day we’re walking through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to love. Today, we enter into a quiet, but deeply powerful part of that journey: what it means to remain steady in the midst of suffering. In this passage, we’re given a picture of resilience—as a grounded, daily returning to what sustains us. A kind of strength that stays open, even when life is hard. This episode explores how to stay present in difficulty without shutting down or losing yourself—and how resilience is formed, not all at once, but moment by moment. Today’s Scripture is: Isaiah 50:4–9 Go Deeper: Episode 141: How Self-Compassion Strengthens Resilience with Aundi Kolber Episode 76: Finding the Strength to Move Forward After Loss with Granger Smith Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s the week leading up to Easter, and each day we’re walking through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to love. Today, we step into one of the most vulnerable and human moments in that story: betrayal. This episode explores what it means to face relational hurt without losing yourself—how to acknowledge the pain of betrayal while staying connected to what is true. Today’s Scripture is: John 13:21–33, 36–38 Go Deeper: Episode 100: I Shouldn't Feel Betrayed by Someone I Trust with Steve Carter Episode 201: "It Must Be My Fault" with Dr. Peace Amadi Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s the week leading up to Easter, and so every reading this week is designed to guide us through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to Love. Today, we begin with a grounding question:Where do I find safety? In this episode, we reflect on Psalm 27 and the invitation to locate our sense of safety not in circumstances, but in the steady presence of God. This is not about eliminating fear. It’s about gently practicing a return—again and again—to what holds us. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 27: 1-8 Go Deeper: Find free resources integrating faith with psychology—including guided reflections, devotionals, and tools for emotional and spiritual growth—at dralisoncook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 When life feels like it’s wearing you down on the outside, something deeper is often growing within you. This episode is for anyone walking through a difficult season—when life feels heavy, uncertain, or slowly wearing you down. In 2 Corinthians 4:16–18, we explore the truth that even when outward circumstances are hard, something unseen can still be taking root within you. Together, we’ll learn how to notice that inner renewal—and trust that God is at work in ways you can’t always see. To Go Deeper: Get a free map of your soul & guided audio reflection here. Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if heartbreak isn’t just about what happened to you—but what it reveals about what you believe about yourself? At its core, heartbreak isn’t just about loss. It’s about the meaning your mind and body begin to make of that loss—especially when it touches something older. Rejection, betrayal, and disappointment have a way of surfacing deeper questions about who we are… and whether we are still worthy of love. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, why does this hurt so much more than it should?… this conversation between Dr. Alison Cook and Dr. Peace Amadi will help you begin to understand why—and what healing might look like. You’ll explore: Why rejection can feel deeply personal… even when it isn’t The hidden beliefs heartbreak can quietly bring to the surface Why certain patterns in your life keep getting replayed How past wounds can shape your present reactions What happens to your faith when pain doesn’t make sense Where healing begins when nothing feels resolved yet This conversation offers a compassionate, faith-rooted path forward—helping you make sense of what’s been stirred up within you, and gently move toward a deeper sense of peace. More Resources: Check out Dr. Peace Amadi’s brand new book, The Wholehearted Way: Finding Peace After Life’s Heartbreaks, Disappointments, and Rejections Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 200: Trauma, Safety, and Healing—3 Trauma Responses + 4 Ways to Restore Trust Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off Episode 188: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Cozy Earth - Cozy up in every day luxury bedding and their bamboo pajamas and physically feel your nervous system take a breath. Head to Cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for up to 20% off. Caraway - Save even more on non-toxic cookware and get an additional 10% off your order when you visit Carawayhome.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Proverbs 19:11 When someone pushes your buttons and you feel that instant urge to react, Scripture offers a different kind of strength—the strength to pause, steady yourself, and choose your response. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt triggered, reactive, or pulled into conflict they didn’t want. In Proverbs 19:11, we explore what it means to “not take the bait”—and how real strength often looks like restraint, not reaction. Together, we’ll look at how to slow your nervous system, protect your energy, and choose a steadier, wiser response in difficult moments. To Go Deeper: Episode 193: Why Relationships Feel Hard Even When You Care: An Unfiltered Conversation with Relationship Expert Debra Fileta Episode 195: Caring for Others Without Carrying Them with Nedra Tawab Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Matthew 11:28–30 Feeling weary, burdened, or burned out? Jesus offers rest that meets you right in the middle of the overwhelm. This episode is for anyone feeling exhausted, overloaded, or stretched too thin by the pressure to keep going. Jesus speaks directly to the weary and burdened, reminding us that rest is not something we earn after everything is done—it’s something he offers in the middle of the weight. Together, we explore what it means to loosen your grip, let yourself be human, and receive the kind of rest that steadies your body and soul. Go Deeper: Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul Episode 170: Science-Backed Tools to Actually Restore Your Brain and Body Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 13 This episode is for anyone feeling overwhelmed, burdened, or emotionally exhausted—especially when the pain feels too heavy and the answers don’t come. Together, we explore what it means to wrestle honestly with God, even in seasons when you feel forgotten, and how faith can make room for both deep questions and quiet trust. Go Deeper: Episode 74: How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Curt Thompson Episode: 185: A Real-time Practice to Help You Return to God's Loving Presence Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Ephesians 4:25–32 Topics covered: Why avoiding conflict can quietly damage relationships more than disagreement itself. The surprising tension between honesty, anger, and compassion in Ephesians 4. A different way to approach hard conversations, repair, and emotional reactions. To go deeper: Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if trauma isn’t just about what happened to you—but what your body learned about safety in relationships? If you’ve ever wondered why it’s hard to feel safe in relationships… this episode will help you understand why—and where healing begins. You’ll learn: The 3 ways trauma reshapes your sense of safety The deeper story behind patterns of anxiety, shutdown, or people-pleasing The patterns your nervous system uses to protect you (without you realizing it) The hidden ways trauma can impact your relationship with God 4 shifts that begin to restore safety At its core, trauma isn’t just about what happened to you. It’s about what your body learned in relationships—especially when safety was broken. Whether those wounds began early in life or emerged later through betrayal, loss, or disappointment, your nervous system adapts in ways that are meant to protect you. This conversation offers a compassionate, faith-rooted path forward—helping you understand how your soul and body respond to broken trust, and how safety can be restored over time. More Resources: Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off Episode 188: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! MOSH - Save 20% shipping plus FREE shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack when you visit MoshLife.com/BESTOFYOU. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Isaiah 43:1–3 Topics covered: How Isaiah 43 offers comfort during anxiety, grief, and overwhelming seasons. Why hardship is not a failure of faith—and what God actually promises in suffering. A powerful way to find spiritual resilience Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Matthew 5:3-10 Topics covered: A fresh look at the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) and what Jesus meant by “blessed.” Why grief, humility, and spiritual need are not failures—but sacred openings. How Jesus’ teaching reshapes the way we understand emotional and spiritual strength. To go deeper: Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit and Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 139:23–24 Topics covered: How to notice what’s really happening inside you—anxiety, stress, and hidden emotions. A gentle approach to self-awareness and emotional healing How to stop avoiding your inner world and let God meet you with insight, peace, and direction instead of shame. Get a free map of your soul here. Go Deeper: Episode 186: Stuck Overthinking? A Simple Practice to Interrupt Stress, Overwhelm, and Habit Loops Episode 167: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 2 Corinthians 7:9–10 Topics covered: The kind of guilt that heals The kind that traps you How to tell the difference Go Deeper: Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault Read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way: Name What's Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage Into Brave Action Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when your body starts telling a story your mind cannot ignore? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with author Justin Whitmel Earley to explore the connection between spiritual formation and the everyday rhythms of our bodies. From the outside, Justin’s life looked stable and successful. But anxiety and panic began surfacing in ways he could no longer explain away. What followed was a deeper question many of us quietly carry: what if our bodies are revealing something about how we are living? Together, Alison and Justin explore the forgotten wisdom of embodied faith and how small daily practices shape the soul over time. In this conversation, they explore: Why anxiety sometimes appears even when life “looks fine” on the surface The surprising ways your body may be revealing deeper patterns in your life What modern faith may have forgotten about the role of the body How simple daily rhythms can slowly reshape who we are becoming This conversation is not about fixing yourself. It’s about learning to listen because most likely your body knew something before you had words for it. Because sometimes the path toward healing begins by paying attention to the wisdom already present in your body. More Resources: Connect with @justinwhitmelearley on InstagramOrder Justin’s latest book The Body Teaches the Soul. Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 186: Stuck in Overthinking? A Simple Practice to Interrupt Stress, Overwhelm, and Habit Loops Episode 184: Stop Running From Anxiety - How to Tell Normal Stress from Unhealthy Anxiety and Find Peace Over Panic 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! Cozy Earth - Cozy up in every day luxury bedding and their bamboo pajamas and physically feel your nervous system take a breath. Head to Cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for up to 20% off. Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Genesis 37:2-24 Topics covered: The family wound nobody names Different family roles & how they wound Signs of a healthy family Go Deeper: Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 161: Healing from Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Matthew 10:16 Topics covered: What “wise as serpents, innocent as doves” looks like in real relationships How to stay anchored in love while facing what’s real—without naivety or hypervigilance Go Deeper: Read Should I Turn The Other Cheek? on my blog For more on healthy boundary setting check out the first 3 chapters of The Best of You here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 4:4–8 Topics covered: How to acknowledge anger without letting it hijack your nervous system A simple practice for calming anger and choosing groundedness without denial Go Deeper: Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend, What Happens When You Avoid It, and How to Create Space for Healthy Expression of Anger in Your Family Get a free guided journal + read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way here! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for weekly ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 1 Corinthians 3:3–7 Topics covered: Why comparison isn’t just a “social media issue" The deeper ache underneath envy & comparison A grounding reframe to use when you're tempted to compare Go Deeper: Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself & How to Heal It Get my free PDF book "She's Better Than Me" here Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when the person who was supposed to nurture you becomes the source of your deepest wounds? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with writer, speaker, and host of the Big Boo Cast, Melanie Shankle to explore the complicated terrain of mother wounds, emotional enmeshment, and the long road toward healing. From the outside, it can look like “normal family tension.” But in the body, something feels off. Together, they explore: What happens when your nervous system knew something wasn’t safe before you had language for it The impact of criticism, competitiveness, and emotional parentification How shame can keep you believing the problem is you he difference between honoring a parent and tolerating hard Why distance sometimes becomes part of healing This isn't a conversation about blame. It's a conversation about truth-telling. About untangling enmeshment. About breaking generational patterns. About discovering what safety actually feels like. If you’ve ever felt torn between loyalty and self-protection… If you’ve wondered whether what you experienced “counts”… If you’re learning to trust what your body has always known… This episode is honest, nuanced, and ultimately hopeful. Because healing one life can change a generation. More Resources: Connect with @melanieshankle on Instagram Order Melanie’s latest book Here Be Dragons. Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 144: Healing the Soul Through Encounters with Jesus Featuring John Eldredge Episode 128: Generational Trauma—Overcoming Inherited Dysfunction & Legacy Burdens with therapist Gina Birkemeier 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Isaiah 41:10 Topics covered: There's no shame in fear What God promises Strength that doesn’t come from striving Go Deeper: Episode 41: Boundaries with Fear & Anxiety Episode 156: Why Fear Shows Up When You’re About to Grow & How to Break Free from Self-Sabotage with Mary Marantz Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Luke 17:1-5 Topics covered: Why Jesus starts with the reality of harm How to forgive without minimizing The relationship between forgiveness & boundaries Go Deeper: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness with Esau McCaullay Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness & Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 25:1-7 Topics covered: Why shame makes you want to hide A prayer to steady you through shame How to return to connection & trust Go Deeper: See The Soul of Shame, by Curt Thompson Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Phillipians 2:1-11 Topics covered: Humility that isn’t self-erasure How to cultivate true inner strength A daily reset for uncovering confident humility Go Deeper: Episode 18: Selfhood vs. Selfishness Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them Be sure to share this episode with a friend! And don't forget to leave your 5-star review—it helps get the word out to others. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if there’s something spiritual happening beneath what you’re carrying? You’re doing the work.You’re praying.You’re going to therapy.You’re trying to take responsibility. And still… something feels off. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Theologian Joel Muddamalle to explore spiritual warfare — not through fear or sensationalism, but through clarity and discernment. Together, they examine: How the enemy works through systems, structures, and misaligned desires The difference between personal responsibility and spiritual opposition Why obsession with darkness is just as unhelpful as dismissing it How to stay grounded in Christ’s victory rather than panic This conversation reframes spiritual warfare as something far more ordinary — and far more hopeful — than we often imagine. Not demon hunting.Not blame shifting.But cultivating wholeness. Because the center of the Christian story is not darkness.It’s restoration. If you’ve ever felt confused about this topic — or unsure how to integrate faith, mental health, and spiritual reality — this episode offers grounded wisdom for everyday life. More Resources: Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook  Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here. Learn more about Joel Muddamalle’s work. Order The Unseen Battle. If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 144: Healing the Soul Through Encounters with Jesus Featuring John Eldredge Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation—Balancing Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Cozy Earth - Cozy up in every day luxury bedding and their bamboo pajamas and physically feel your nervous system take a breath. Head to Cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for up to 20% off. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Genesis 3:12–13 Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics & Stop Taking the Bait Episode 149: 5 Toxic Behaviors & How to Protect Your Soul Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Luke 15:11–32 Go Deeper: Episode 78: Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado Episode 136: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love with Michael John Cusick Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 23 Go Deeper: Episode 176: Intimacy with God in a Noisy World Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life Find rest for your soul through a guided audio reflection here or check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries For Your Soul. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Romans 12:9–18 Go Deeper: Episode 194: Discernment in Relationships: How to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Read more about becoming your true self & healthy boundary setting here. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“A joyful heart is good medicine.” But not the kind of joy you fake. In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the difference between healthy humor and harmful humor — and why that distinction matters for your nervous system, your relationships, and your spiritual formation. Humor can soothe. It can bond. It can bring relief. But it can also deflect. Minimize. Or quietly wound. You’ll learn: Why humor can feel safe for one person and threatening for another How teasing can create intimacy… or erode it What it looks like to practice discernment without shaming yourself Why “getting your joy back” is often a sign of real healing This conversation is part of Pillar Three in Dr. Cook’s Four Pillars series: Joy & Delight — not as a personality trait or a passing mood, but as a practice of inner formation. Because joy is not just an emotional expression. It’s a signal. When your nervous system begins to feel safe enough to soften, laughter shifts. Delight becomes accessible. Connection deepens. And sometimes the kind of humor you practice reveals more about your healing than you realize. More Resources: Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook  Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here. If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode 111: How to Transforms Parenting Triggers & Blind Spots Into Growth & Connection With Beth McCord 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order MOSH - Fuel your brain and save 20% shipping plus FREE shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack when you visit MoshLife.com/BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! Cozy Earth - Cozy up in every day luxury bedding and their bamboo pajamas and physically feel your nervous system take a breath. Head to Cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for up to 20% off. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Lamentations 3:19–26 Go Deeper: Episode 190: Self-Brain Surgery, Overcoming Trauma, and the Courage to Change How You Think with Dr. Lee Warren Episode 158: Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Monica DiCristina Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: John 20:24–29 Go Deeper: Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 146 1:-10 Go Deeper: Episode 119: Drawing Strength From the Past—The Spirit of Justice with Dr. Jemar Tisby Check our more topical deep-dive episodes at https://www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Join over 80,000 in my email community for more weekly wisdom. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 2 Corinthians 4:7–10 Go Deeper: Learn more about strength through fragility through inner parts work here or check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries For Your Soul. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt exhausted — not because you don’t care, but because you’re carrying more than you can name? Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab to reflect on why caring deeply can sometimes leave us depleted — and why the answer isn’t trying harder or pulling away. This conversation doesn’t offer quick fixes. Instead, it invites you to pause and consider a different question—one that has less to do with effort and more to do with mutuality. If you’ve been feeling tired, responsible, or overwhelmed while trying to do the right thing, this episode offers perspective and hope—without pressure or oversimplification. 📖 ⁠The Balancing Act by Nedra Tewaab⁠ Find additional resources at nedratawwab.com Follow Nedra Tawwab on Instagram @nedratawwab Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook  If you liked this episode, then you’ll love: Episode 194: When the Relationship Starts to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who makes it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - Refresh your wardrobe with my favorite, effortless, and sustainable capsule clothing essentials. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Proverbs 26:4–5 Go Deeper: Episode 1: What is Narcissism Really? Read: Gaslighting & the Bible: How to Respond When Someone is Manipulating You When Narcissism Comes to Church, by Chuck Degroat Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram ⁠⁠@dralisoncook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Sign up⁠⁠⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ⁠⁠megaphone.fm/adchoices⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Luke 8:43–48 Go Deeper: Episode 4: What do I need to know about trauma? Episode 114: Healing Trauma with Kobe Campbell Try Softer, by Aundi Kolber Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ ⁠⁠Sign up⁠⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ⁠megaphone.fm/adchoices⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Psalm 16:5–11 Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy & Breaking Free From Toxic Positivity with Nicole Zasowski Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing : Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 1 Corinthians 13:1–7 Go Deeper: Read more on my blog here: Gaslighting & the Bible: How to Respond When Someone is Manipulating You Learn how to set wise boundaries with free resources here. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Connection matters deeply — and yet for many of us, it’s never felt more confusing. In this solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the tension many people are navigating right now: how to stay open and loving toward others without losing clarity, discernment, or yourself. Many of us were taught that love means endless accommodation, that boundaries are unkind, or that distance equals failure. Others, weary of being hurt, find themselves pulling back — unsure how to stay connected without feeling drained or unsafe. This episode sits right in the middle of that tension. Rather than offering formulas or quick fixes, Dr. Alison invites listeners to slow down and notice what’s happening beneath the surface of relationships — especially the ones that feel confusing, heavy, or hard to interpret. If you’ve found yourself asking: How do I stay loving without losing myself? How do I know when to lean in — and when to pause? What does discernment look like in real, imperfect relationships? This conversation creates space to reflect without pressure to decide everything right away. More Resources: 📥 Download 3 free chapters + guided journal of I Shouldn’t Feel This Way and the FRAME exercise mentioned in today's episode here. If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing it Off 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who makes it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - Refresh your wardrobe with my favorite, effortless, and sustainable capsule clothing essentials. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Caraway - Save even more on non-toxic cookware and get an additional 10% off your order when you visit Carawayhome.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. AirDoctor - Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Genesis 32:22–30 Go Deeper: For more deep dive episodes: www.dralisoncook.com Learn how to navigate tangled emotions with free resources here. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Luke 17:11–19 Go Deeper: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing : Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald For more deep dive episodes: www.dralisoncook.com Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 116:5-7 Go Deeper: Episode 141: How Self-Compassion Strengthens Resilience with Aundi Kolber For more deep dive episodes: www.dralisoncook.com Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Galatians 5:22–25 Go Deeper: Episode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring More Emotional Health to Your Relationships Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional IntelligenceFollow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever left a conversation thinking, That’s not what I meant — and still felt the distance linger? Do you ever wonder why relationships feel exhausting, confusing, or fragile… even when you genuinely try to do the right thing? Dr. Alison is joined by counselor and author Debra Fileta for a conversation that names a quiet tension many people live with but rarely articulate. Sometimes the hardest part of relationships isn’t a lack of love—it’s the gap between what we intend and what others experience. Together, you'll explore: Why do the same relational patterns keep repeating? Why does communication break down so quickly under stress? Why do good intentions sometimes land as hurt or distant? Why does love feel like it should be enough… but often isn’t? If you’ve ever thought, Why does this still feel so hard when I care so much? — this episode creates space to ask better questions, without pressure to already have the answers. 📖 Pre-order ⁠People Skills⁠ by Debra Fileta 📥 Grab your 3 free Soul Mending resources here If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 179: Building Wise Trust—How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Quince - Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Exodus 31:1–6 Go Deeper: Episode 192: The Work Only Humans Can Do—Why Connection, Vocation, and Meaning Still Matter in a World of AI Episode 53: How to Claim Your Strengths & Thrive at Home & Work Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Matthew 7:15–20 Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics & Stop Taking the Bait Episode 149: 5 Toxic Behaviors & How to Protect Your Soul Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 42:1–5 Go Deeper: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today's Scripture: Hebrews 12:11. Hebrews 12 uses language about discipline and parenthood that may feel tender or painful if you’ve experienced harm from a parent or authority figure. If that’s you, please feel free to skip this episode or return when it feels safer. (We're reading from The Message today to help soften the edges and highlight the heart of the passage.) Episode 128: Healing Generational TraumaEpisode 182: Self-Esteem Culture, Therapy, & Wholeness in Christ Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to live out our calling in a world increasingly shaped by technology, efficiency, and automation? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the deeper meaning of vocation — not simply as a job or career path, but as the unique way each of us is meant to bring care, creativity, and connection into the world. Joined by sociologist Dr. Allison Pugh, professor at Johns Hopkins University and author of The Last Human Job, they reflect on what Dr. Pugh calls “connective labor” — the deeply human work of seeing others and allowing ourselves to be seen. This episode explores: -Why the most important part of vocation has almost nothing to do with your resume -The hidden kind of work you’re doing every day-The small moment that can restore dignity in an instant (and why most of us miss it) -The tradeoff nobody talks about: when “more efficient” becomes “less human” -The uncomfortable question technology can’t answer for you — and why it matters right now -The choice you still have (even in a system that feels unchangeable) As workplaces change and technologies like AI reshape how we interact, this conversation offers a grounding reminder: while tools may deliver information, they can never replace mutual presence, empathy, and relational connection. 📖 Read ⁠The Last Human Job⁠ by Dr. Allison Pugh More Resources: Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en 📥 Grab your 3 free Soul Mending resources here If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 53: How to Claim Your Strengths & Thrive at Home & Work 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Quince - Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: 1 Kings 19:1–13 Go Deeper: Episode 99: I Shouldn't Feel Like My Spirit is Broken Episode 136: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion & Trusting Divine Love Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/?hl=en ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is: Mark 10:46–52 Go Deeper: Read the first three chapters of The Best of You and download a free PDF workbook here. Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 62:5–8 Go Deeper: Episode 176: Intimacy with God in a Noisy World Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, & a God Who Doesn't Let Go ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Galatians 6:2–5. Go Deeper: Episode 138: The Hidden Cost of Overfunctioning Episode 155: Prioritize What Matters, Avoid Burnout, and Navigate Toxicity ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you actually heal and change—not just cope or try harder? In this solo episode, Dr. Alison reflects on five core insights about faith, attachment, and the inner life—not as a plan for self-improvement, but as wisdom for formation. January often comes with pressure to reset, optimize, and fix ourselves. But many of us begin the year already tired — weary of striving, and hungry for something deeper. This episode offers a different invitation. Rather than asking what to change, Dr. Alison invites us to notice how we are already being formed — especially in moments of stress, fear, and uncertainty. In this conversation, Dr. Alison explores: Why faith is not just what we believe The hidden way your nervous system influences your spiritual life What many “spiritual struggles” are really pointing to The missing ingredient most change efforts overlook Why striving for perfection keeps so many people stuck Growth isn’t about eliminating fear or complexity. It’s learning where to return when fear inevitably shows up. 📥 Grab your 3 free Soul Mending resources here If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation—Balancing Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Episode 113: A New Vision of Human Flourishing—A Christian Approach to Mental Health with Duke University Psychiatrist & Theologian Warren Kinghorn 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Quince - Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! Caraway - Get 10% off your order when you visit Carawayhome.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Deuteronomy 6:4–9. Go Deeper: Episode 186: A Simple Practice to Interrupt Stress, Overwhelm, and Habit Loops Episode 190: Self-Brain Surgery, Overcoming Trauma, and the Courage to Change How You Think ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day.Today’s Scripture is Luke 6:27-42 .Go Deeper: Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors & How to Protect Yourself Get a free Map of the Soul to help you get curious about the parts of your own soul in partnership with God’s Spirit. ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Psalm 1:1-4. Go Deeper: Episode 141: How Self-Compassion Shapes Resilience with Aundi Kolber Episode 76: Finding the Strength to Move Forward After Loss with Granger Smith Episode 46: How Jesus Regulated Emotions with Aundi Kolber ⁠I Shouldn’t Feel This Way⁠ — Learn to understand & regulate your emotions. ⁠The Best of You ⁠— Learn to set healthy boundaries. ⁠Boundaries For Your Soul⁠ — Learn a proven method of inner healing. ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Romans 8:5-6 . Go Deeper: Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself Episode 29: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want ⁠I Shouldn’t Feel This Way⁠ — Learn to understand & regulate your emotions. ⁠The Best of You ⁠— Discover your true self in God. ⁠Boundaries For Your Soul⁠ — Learn to access the Spirit-led self within. ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if healing doesn’t start with managing your emotions—but with understanding how your brain responds to fear, grief, and hope? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with neurosurgeon, author, and Iraq War veteran Dr. Lee Warren to explore trauma, loss, faith, and the brain’s God-given capacity to change.  After unimaginable loss, Dr. Warren shares how “self-brain surgery”—learning to notice and interrupt destructive thought patterns—helped him restore hope and agency without bypassing grief. This conversation will help you understand: —Why most of our thoughts are repetitive, negative, and often untrue —How trauma wires automatic thoughts—and how those patterns can change —How faith and neuroscience meet in practical ways —The difference between the mind and the brain, and why that distinction matters for healing This episode offers hope without shortcuts. It honors the reality of suffering while reminding us that our past does not get the final word — not neurologically, not emotionally, and not spiritually. 📖 Preorder Dr. Lee Warren’s Latest Book, The Life Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery Listen to the Dr. Lee Warren Podcast here. 📥 Grab your 3 free Soul Mending resources here If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 186: Stuck in Overthinking? A Simple Practice to Interrupt Stress, Overwhelm, and Habit Loops Episode 170: The Truth About Venting, Numbing, and Finding Real Relief - Science-Backed Tools to Actually Restore Your Brain and Body 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Quince - Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start the New Year right with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! MOSH - Save 20% shipping plus FREE shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack when you visit MoshLife.com/BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Exodus 20:12. Go Deeper: Episode 161: Healing from Dysfunctional Family Patterns Episode 162: When Reconnection Feels Impossible Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story ⁠⁠I Shouldn’t Feel This Way⁠⁠ — Learn to understand & regulate your emotions. ⁠⁠The Best of You⁠ ⁠— Heal painful patterns. ⁠⁠Boundaries For Your Soul⁠ ⁠— Manage overwhelming emotions. ⁠⁠Sign up⁠⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Luke 10:38-42. Go Deeper:⁠ Episode 185⁠: For the Ones who are Overwhelmed ⁠Episode 170⁠: The Truth About Venting ⁠⁠I Shouldn’t Feel This Way⁠⁠ — Learn to understand & regulate your emotions. ⁠⁠The Best of You ⁠⁠— Learn to set healthy boundaries. ⁠⁠Boundaries For Your Soul⁠⁠ — Learn a proven method of inner healing. ⁠⁠Sign up⁠⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support.  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today’s Scripture is Psalm 131. Go Deeper: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles? Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self ⁠I Shouldn’t Feel This Way⁠ — Learn to understand & regulate your emotions. ⁠The Best of You ⁠— Learn to set healthy boundaries. ⁠Boundaries For Your Soul⁠ — Learn a proven method of inner healing. ⁠Sign up⁠ for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support.  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day! Today's Scripture is Matthew 6:25–29 & 34. Go Deeper: ⁠Episode 129⁠⁠: Understanding Your Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm Episode 167: Can I Pray the Anxiety Away? I Shouldn’t Feel This Way — Learn to understand and regulate your emotions. The Best of You — Learn to set healthy boundaries. Boundaries For Your Soul — Learn a proven method of inner healing. Sign up for Dr. Alison’s free weekly email for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

January has a way of pulling us straight into the how. How will I fix what feels off? How will I be more disciplined? How will I finally get it right? But what if there’s a deeper—and more grounding—place to begin? Dr. Alison opens the year by inviting you to start somewhere different. Instead of beginning with self-improvement or striving, Scripture starts with meaning, presence, and relationship. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why losing sight of the why fuels anxiety, striving, and burnout How meaning and grounding are closer than you think What “the light shines in the darkness” really means How orienting your life around love changes everything Plus, you’ll hear a special announcement about something new coming to The Best of You—a daily way to stay anchored in Scripture and wisdom as you move through your day. For additional resources and the full episode transcript, visit the podcast episode page here If you loved this episode, check out: Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation with John Mark Comer  Episode 113: A New Vision Of Human Flourishing with Dr. Warren Kinghorn Get I Shouldn’t Feel This Way for just $2.99. Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here Download Alison’s free printable boundaries guide when you sign up for her weekly email. Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If gratitude and grief seem to arrive hand in hand this season or hope feels costly, like putting your armor down in the middle of a battle… Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do. Dr. Alison sits down with researcher, author, trauma educator, and joy scholar Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore the often misunderstood relationship between trauma and joy. Drawing from neuroscience, trauma research, and lived experience, Dr MaryCatherine explains why joy can feel threatening after loss or prolonged stress. Together, they unpack: Why trauma responses are strength responses, not weaknesses The “joy thieves” that quietly steal our capacity for delight Why joy and grief are not opposites, and often show up together How tiny moments can gently retrain your brain for joy What neuroscientists call the hope circuit, and how to activate it 📖 Dr MaryCatherine's book, The Joy Reset: Six Ways Trauma Steals Happiness and How to Win it Back 📖 This Christmas, gift a loved one (or yourself!) Dr Alison’s latest book, The Best of You! 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy, brought to you by betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years, visit StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU to save $10 on your order. Give the gift of every day luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head to Cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for up to 20% off. Go to AquaTru.com now for 20% off (your purifier) using promo code BESTOFYOU  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If the holidays bring up a lot for you, old roles, old emotions, or the pressure to keep everyone happy, you’re not alone. Christmas has a way of activating the patterns and survival strategies that once helped you feel safe, pleasing, perfecting, over-functioning, or shutting down. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook shares how these patterns show up in her own life, why they resurface, and how you can gently find your way back to peace. You’ll learn: the 3 types of needs that get tangled inside why holiday dynamics awaken old wounds and responses a simple way to return to the place of peace at your center how to redefine “success” this holiday season 🎄This Christmas, gift a loved one (or yourself) Dr Alison’s latest book, The Best of You! 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Episode 131: Navigating Holiday Emotions Episode 135: Tackling Holiday People Pleasing 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Give online therapy, brought to you by betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years, visit StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU to save $10 on your order. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU  at checkout for 55% off a new night guard plus a FREE foam gift that whitens your teeth and cleans your nightguard. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If stress or discomfort sends you into overthinking, numbing, or trying to fix what you can’t control… If certain habits feel automatic no matter how much you try to change them… You’re not alone, and your brain is more trainable than you think. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Jud Brewer—psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and New York Times best-selling author who specializes in habit change and mindfulness.  They unpack why we get stuck in these loops and a simple practice to steady your soul. Instead of relying on willpower or self-judgment, this conversation invites you to: Notice your inner patterns with kindness Differentiate discomfort from distress Understand the habit loops that drive anxiety, worry, or overthinking Apply the #1 tool to help you create real, lasting change Deepen your connection to God This episode is a grounding companion for anyone navigating stress, emotional triggers, or the pull toward old coping strategies—especially in seasons that stir up more than we expect. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress and Anxiety Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get up to 40% off. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever found yourself wide awake at night replaying a conversation If you spiral through guilt after setting even the gentlest boundary If you carry everyone else’s emotions while losing sight of your own You’re in good company. In today’s episode, Dr. Alison shares personally about these moments in her own life and guides you through a real-time practice you can do right where you are. It’s the most effective tool we’ve found to help when overwhelm rises, when you’re tempted to slip back into people-pleasing, or when conflict sends your nervous system into overdrive. Instead of overthinking, overanalyzing, or pushing your feelings aside, this practice helps you: Notice what’s happening inside with kindness Connect with the part of you that’s working overtime to keep you safe Offer compassion to your own soul — the same compassion you extend so easily to others Invite God’s loving, steady presence into the places that feel tangled, tense, or afraid 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress and Anxiety Episode 171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping  Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU,  to receive 55% off  your order. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off.  Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today!  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We spend so much energy trying to silence anxiety. But what if it isn’t an enemy to defeat—what if it’s a signal to understand? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Bethany Teachman, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Virginia and director of the PACT Lab, about what healthy anxiety looks like, why it’s actually useful, and how to stop letting it run your life.  Dr. Teachman explains how to know when anxiety is becoming a problem and shares practical ways to calm anxious thoughts, build resilience, and approach your fears with curiosity instead of control. She says, “Anxiety is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous, when you stop treating it like a threat, it loses its power over you.” You'll learn: The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety How to recognize when your threat response doesn’t match the situation Why trying to “get rid” of anxiety often makes it worse How reframing challenges as opportunities builds resilience Why doom-scrolling keeps us trapped in fear Check out more free resources on anxiety: TYDE (Thriving Youth in a Digital Environment) — A University of Virginia initiative co-directed by Dr. Teachman focused on youth, technology, and mental health. MindTrails — A suite of digital and mobile interventions designed to help people manage anxiety and increase access to care, including.  If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It can happen so fast - you feel grateful one moment, and five minutes on Instagram later you’re suddenly feeling small or behind. But what if comparison isn’t the problem itself, but a messenger? Dr. Alison explores how comparison, when we pause to listen, can actually reveal our deepest longings and lead us back to connection with God, with others, and with ourselves. She explains why comparison is wired into us, what it’s trying to show us, and how to shift from competition to curiosity and compassion. This conversation invites you to slow down, notice what stirs inside you when comparison shows up, and remember: your story is unfolding at its own sacred pace. In this episode, we cover: Why comparison isn’t always toxic, and what it’s really telling you How to move from calibration to condemnation (and back again) The two types of comparison A simple three-step practice to use when you find yourself comparing 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 37: The Problem with Toxic Thinking Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Use my code BESTOFYOU at cozyearth.com to get up to 40% off.  If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When insecurity takes over, most of us double down on self-improvement. But what if freedom doesn’t come from focusing more on yourself - but less? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison and author of Free of Me and Gazing at God, Sharon Hodde Miller, discuss the promises and pitfalls of self-esteem culture - and why a bigger story of belovedness, stewardship, and connection sets us free.  We talk about how self-preoccupation doesn’t improve self-esteem, why “just love yourself more” can reinforce the problem, and how beholding God (not abandoning yourself) recenters your life with humility and purpose. In this episode, we cover: Why self-focus can erode your confidence and joy The difference between self-esteem and self-preoccupation What it means to de-center yourself without losing your worth How wounds can masquerade as pride or insecurity The freedom that comes from remembering: you are not the hero of the story Get your hands on a copy of Sharon's books! You can find them here: 📚Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not about You 📚Gazing at God: A 40-Day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing with Cindy Gao 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when relationships feels risky after you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, yet you still crave real connection? This week, Dr. Alison is joined by speaker, and author Toni Collier, for a powerful and honest conversation about healing through community and learning how to trust again after deep pain.  Toni shares her story of betrayal and loss, and how she discovered the power of safe people - the kind who can hold your heart without judgment and help you rebuild when life falls apart. Together, they unpack what real friendship looks like and why isolation, while it feels safe, can slowly destroy us. You’ll walk away with language for repair, courage to take off your “strong friend” cape, and practical wisdom for finding (and becoming) the kind of people who can walk with you through both heartbreak and healing. This episode explores: Why healing requires safe people, not just safe spaces How to build a community that can hold your story The difference between isolation and refuge The courage it takes to say, “I need help” The three steps to finding and keeping trustworthy friends You can find Toni’s powerful book here: 📚Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability Episode 76: Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use the code BESTOFYOU  at checkout for 50% off. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things?  This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School.  He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will. If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions.  This episode explores: The five core skills that drive every behavior The real reason most people struggle How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity The exact words that lower defensiveness fast Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources: 💡For free access to an interactive, self-paced course for parents, go to https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ Use code: BestofYou 🏥 Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital  📚Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Head to cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for 40% off! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Best of You Podcast is your weekly space for wholehearted healing and soul-deep growth. Every Thursday you'll learn from Dr. Alison Cook—a psychologist, author, and former teacher who’s passionate about breaking down complex ideas into simple, practical tools you can use every day. You’ll find science-backed strategies and spiritual wisdom to help you: Heal from past wounds Set healthy, soul-honoring boundaries Strengthen your relationships And show up more fully as YOU Whether you’re navigating overwhelm, rebuilding trust, or learning to rest in a busy world, this podcast is here to help you cultivate the clarity, courage, and compassion it takes to live with wholeness. Now with video episodes and fresh conversations for a new season, The Best of You is more than a podcast—it’s a community choosing hope, healing, and transformation together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if you weren’t meant to trust blindly, but to trust wisely? Trust is sacred - and when it’s broken, it’s easy to shut down or swing toward over-trusting. In this episode, Alison explores how to cultivate a steady, discerning trust, one that honors both your boundaries and your desire for connection. Dr. Alison explores what it means to build wise trust: the kind that’s discerning but still open to love. You’ll learn practical steps to protect your heart without hardening it, and how to partner with God in cultivating grounded, courageous trust that leads to real connection. In this episode, we explore: How broken trust impacts our nervous system and relationships The difference between naïve trust and wise, grounded trust How to protect your heart without closing it off Practical steps to rebuild trust - with yourself, others, and God Why choosing openness is one of the bravest things you can do If you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or afraid to let people in again, this episode will give you language, perspective, and hope for what it looks like to trust wisely - and love freely - again. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 22:  How to Build Trust With Yourself. Episode 117: Healing in the Messy Middle  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.  For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus free shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when someone’s behavior leaves you feeling small, confused, or constantly on edge?  That uneasy feeling isn’t random, it’s often a signal that something toxic is at play. The Bible urges us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves - to stay discerning, not naïve, in our relationships. Yet many of us brush off harmful patterns because we want to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or because our empathy and loyalty run deep. The problem? Those very strengths can make us more vulnerable to toxic strategies. In this episode Dr. Alison names four of the most common toxic behaviors - manipulation, gaslighting, constant criticism, and triangulation - and shows you how to recognize them before they take root. She unpacks how to tell the difference between a one-time mistake and a repeated pattern of harm, and she offers practical tools to protect yourself without losing your compassion. In this episode, we explore: The difference between mistakes and toxic patterns 4 common toxic behaviors and what they look like in real life The core root beneath toxic strategies How to deal with false guilt and set yourself free If you’ve ever struggled with guilt, second-guessed your instincts, or felt trapped in a cycle of blame, this conversation will give you language, clarity, and hope for moving forward with wisdom and strength. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 110: How to Be Wise When People Are Difficult—Biblical Strategies For Keeping Your Emotional Health & Mental Sanity  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where do you turn when heartache threatens to take over your whole life? This week, Dr Alison is joined by Amber Smith to talk about her journey from crushing grief to quiet, hard-won hope. Many of you know part of her story: the unthinkable loss of her three-year-old son, River, in 2019.  Together, they talk about the raw reality of grief; how faith can be both anchor and wrestle, how a marriage can survive when each person’s pain looks different, and why welcoming joy again is not a betrayal of what you’ve lost. If you’ve ever faced heartbreak or walked alongside someone in deep pain, this conversation will meet you right where you are - whether you’re on your own bathroom floor or standing beside someone who is. In this episode, we explore: Amber’s story of losing her son, River, and the spiritual transformation that followed The “before and after” shift that tragedy brings to faith and identity How she and her husband, Granger Smith, fought for their marriage Why grief can quietly become an idol How holding space for grief can bring a family closer This episode blends honesty, tenderness, and practical wisdom, exploring what it means to choose life and love while discovering God’s presence in moments when hope feels distant. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. 📚 Find Amber’s Book here:   The Girl on the Bathroom Floor by Amber Smith Other episodes you might like : Episode 76: Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith Episode 133: From Feeling Numb to Meaning-Making — Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the world feels on fire, how do our souls find rest in God alone? This week’s two-part episode is close to my heart. In the wake of recent violence, I first pause to reflect on what it means to choose love in an age when outrage feels easier. From there, I turn to a conversation with my friend and mentor, Dr. Stephen Macchia. Steve has spent decades guiding people into deeper intimacy with God through practices of silence, prayer, and community. Together we explore the barriers distraction creates, why being truly listened to is so healing, and how slowing down opens space for God’s presence in our lives. This episode is an invitation to lay down outrage, pick up compassion, and step into the quiet spaces where God does His best work. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📚 Books you wont want to miss from Dr. Steven Macchia: Praying the Parables of Jesus by Dr. Steven Macchia Crafting a Rule of Life by Dr. Steven Macchia Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety - How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer Episode 88: What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or theEW plant-based trial pack.  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The world has changed, and raising kids now requires a new kind of courage. In this encouraging, yet practical episode, Dr. Alison is joined by counselors and best-selling authors Sissy Goff and David Thomas of Daystar Counseling in Nashville. Together, they discuss why anxiety is showing up earlier and more intensely in children, and how parents can respond with both empathy and practical tools.  Sissy and David share practical & creative ways they’re helping kids build courage, resilience, self-control, and perspective. From therapy dogs and illustrated children’s books, to powerful stories from their counseling practice, Sissy and David deliver hopeful reminders that your calm matters, and practical strategies can help your kids step into the world with more confidence.  This episode explores: Why childhood anxiety is rising, and how it looks different in boys and girls The surprising ways technology impacts emotional health The unintended consequence of overprotective parenting Practical tools  that help kids develop resilience, risk-taking, and healthy coping When to seek counseling for your child This episode is a hopeful reminder: Kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one who believes in their courage and helps them practice it. For More from David and Sissy: Check out their website, https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com and pre-order the DayStar Dogs books here: 📚Pippa Learns to Share the Spotlight: A Lesson About Jealousy 📚Happy Finds Her Calm: A Lesson in Self-Control  📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by counselor and podcast host Trey Tucker for an honest conversation about the rise of therapy culture online, the pitfalls of over-identifying with a diagnosis, and how parents can help kids build resilience instead of anxiety. Together, they unpack: The rise of “TikTok Therapy”—what’s helpful about therapy content online and where it falls short. Why so many people are tempted to define themselves by a diagnosis—and how that can keep us stuck. The difference between true boundaries and emotional avoidance. Parenting without panic: how to model calm presence instead of passing anxiety on to the next generation. Why resilience, not fragility, is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our kids. Alison and Trey bring different perspectives with a shared passion for nuance, honesty, and practical hope. It’s a refreshing, thought-provoking dialogue that will encourage you to think differently about therapy, identity, and how we show up in family life. 📚 Learn more about Trey’s work at www.ruggedcounseling.com. 📥For more in-depth listening, check out his podcast, Rugged with Trey Tucker and follow him on Instagram or TikTok @ruggedcounseling.📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries Episode 65:Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Episode 66:  The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Note: Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase - at no additional cost to you. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Head to cozyearth.com and use the code BESTOFYOU for 40% off because your bed should be more than a place to sleep — it should be your happy place. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it take to make the church a safer place for women’s voices? This week Dr. Alison is joined by husband-and-wife therapists Dr. Christy Bauman and Dr. Andrew Bauman, who are doing groundbreaking work at the intersection of women’s stories, embodiment, and spiritual safety. Together, they offer both prophetic challenge and practical hope for how we can build healthier faith communities. In the first half of the episode, Christy takes us into the sacred rites of passage women experience, highlighting women’s voices in the Bible. In the second half, Andrew shares from his extensive research, offering a vision for safe churches where power is shared, voices are honored, and healing is possible. Together, Christy and Andrew model what’s possible when men and women work side by side for change.  You’ll learn: The six symbolic rites of passage women experience over a lifetime—and why reclaiming them matters How Christy helps women see their bodies as sacred places of dignity and spiritual depth The results of their research with 2,800+ women who work in church settings A vision for churches where power is shared and women’s voices are truly honored  A note of care: This episode includes sensitive topics such as pornography, domestic violence, and harm related to women’s bodies. Please listen gently and step away if you need to. Learn more from Christy and Andrew: 📕 Christy Bauman’s Book: Her Rites: Women’s Rites of Passage, A Sacred Journey for Mind, Body, and Soul 📕 Andrew Bauman’s Book: Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in the Church 📥Free Resources from Christy:  Body Map PDF Theology of the Womb Video Course (use code: TOTWcomp) Learn more about their work at the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma Related episodes you might like: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn't the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe Episode 11: How to Start Loving Your Body with Christy Meeks Episode 126: Restoring Wonder & Play in Intimacy - Navigating Sexual Brokenness, Safety, and Vulnerability with Therapist Sam Jolman 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself afraid to feel joy - worried that if you celebrate, the other shoe will inevitably drop? So many of us quietly hold joy at arm’s length. We tell ourselves it’s safer not to get our hopes up than to risk being let down again. What if joy isn’t a fleeting feeling for the lucky few, but a courageous practice we can all learn? Dr Alison sits down with therapist and author Nicole Zasowski to talk about her journey of choosing joy in the face of loss. Nicole shares how she discovered that joy can be the most vulnerable emotion of all - and why learning to celebrate is one of the most important practices we can cultivate in our lives. Together, you’ll learn: The surprising reason joy can feel harder than grief or disappointment The difference between toxic positivity and true, grounded joy Why pessimism and cynicism are really forms of control Practical ways to retrain your mind to savor what’s good—even in difficult seasons What Scripture and neuroscience teach us about joy 📕 Learn more from Nicole: Check out her book What If It’s Wonderful? And her Daring Joy Bible study workbook for practical steps to cultivate joy. 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Looking for more? Here are a few favorites: Episode 168: How do I trust God after loss? Episode 74: How to Find Hope in Hard Times 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing. You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you’ll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness 📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You—Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass Episode 14: The Fawn Response 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if what keeps you going is also keeping you stuck? Does venting actually help, or is it actually making you feel worse? This powerful, hope-filled conversation might just change your entire approach to rest—it did for me. Cognitive psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. Therese Huston joins me for a conversation that’s incredibly helpful for anyone feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or stuck in numbing patterns. I’m not exaggerating when I say it is a game-changer. If you’ve been feeling off-center, burned out, or unsure how to truly rest, this episode will meet you with both compassion and science-backed tools to help you reset—even when you don’t have much time. We cover: The surprising truth about venting—and why it may not be helping Why certain “breaks” leave you more drained How to reset your brain in less than five minutes (yes, really) Simple, science-backed techniques to calm your nervous system Why numbing behaviors (like mindless snacking, scrolling, or binging TV) can feel good—but keep you stuck Two powerful on-air practices you can do right along with us This is not about productivity hacks. It’s about reclaiming your peace and tending to your soul—so you can show up as the person you want to be, no matter what your day looks like. 📘 Check out Sharp: 14 Simple Ways to Improve Your Life with Brain Science by Dr. Therese Huston  📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 132 : 3 Strategies for Managing Overwhelm and Emotional Stress in the Sandwich Generation Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions Episode 146: The Difference Between Escape & Relief with Annie F. Downs 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you tired of holding it all together for everyone else? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden ache of emotional caretaking—the quiet ways we overfunction, over-give, and overlook our own needs to keep the peace. Whether it started in childhood or has become a way of coping in adult relationships, many of us have learned to survive by tending to others while slowly disappearing ourselves. Alison shares what she’s learning about her own inner caretaker and gently invites you to reconnect with the parts of you that are tired, weary, and worthy of care. This isn’t about walking away from the people you love—it’s about learning to stay grounded in yourself as you care well for others. This episode explores: Why emotional caretaking can feel like love—but quietly wears you down How childhood dynamics shape your adult urge to fix, help, or rescue What most people get wrong about “self-care” The hidden cost of always tending to others while neglecting yourself A gentle practice to reconnect with your inner caretaker—and what she needs This episode is a loving reminder: Your needs matter. Your soul deserves care. And you don’t have to carry it all alone. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning –– DIscover the Hidden Costs of Always Being the Responsible One Episode 151: The Hidden Reason You Feel Overwhelmed –– Understanding the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip Episode 152: The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism –– Why Trying Harder Won’t Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to risk love again—after loss, heartbreak, and the disorientating grief that follows? In this incredibly tender and powerful conversation, I’m joined by Stephanie Duncan Smith, author of Even After Everything, to talk about the kind of spiritual confusion that often follows personal loss. Stephanie shares how a painful pregnancy loss just before Christmas reshaped her understanding of God. Together, we explore how to stay grounded in God’s love even when your emotions feel muted, your prayers feel flat, or your sense of spiritual connection feels off. Whether you’ve experienced loss or walked alongside someone who has, this episode is an invitation into honest faith and the sacred practice of hope. This episode explores: Why spiritual numbness is a natural response to pain What it looks like to grieve without having to fake it How to handle deep pain during seasons that are supposed to be joyful Why naming your loss honestly can help you heal How Stephanie processed the grief of pregnancy loss 📘 Get Stephanie’s book: Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Listen to more episodes on grief and healing: Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David Kessler Episode 102: How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if anxiety isn’t something to pray away—or push down—but an invitation to deeper healing? In this week’s re-air of one of our most downloaded episodes, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and mental health advocate Curtis Chang about how anxiety can actually become a doorway to your truest self in God. We explore: 🌿 Curtis's personal journey through debilitating anxiety 🌿 How Jesus himself experienced anxiety—and what that means for us 🌿 The shame that keeps us silent, and the healing that comes when we name it 🌿 How to walk with your kids through anxiety (without projecting your own) This conversation is honest, hope-filled, and rich with both theological wisdom and practical insight. If you’ve ever felt anxious and ashamed—or if you’re supporting someone who is—this one is for you. 📘 Learn more about Curtis Chang’s work at Redeeming Babel and his book, The Anxiety Opportunity. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Get Alison’s free printable with five simple boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on the anxiety series, check out: Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?  Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Episode 57: Should I Turn the Other Cheek? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Follow @dralisoncook on Instagram to join the conversation! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or stuck in patterns of self-criticism, this episode offers a practical path forward rooted in both psychology and spiritual wisdom. In this powerful re-air of a foundational episode, Dr. Alison Cook introduces the transformative approach behind Boundaries for Your Soul. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christian faith, Alison shares how to lead your inner life with clarity, kindness, and strength. Instead of pushing away difficult emotions, you’ll learn how to create space for them—with healthy boundaries that bring healing and peace. This episode explores: A step-by-step framework to navigate emotional overwhelm The 3 internal roles we all carry—and how to listen to each one with care Why spiritual growth requires emotional awareness How Jesus modeled soul-level boundaries An effective way to approach anxiety, anger, or fear without shame Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work of personal transformation, this episode will give you tools to understand yourself better and lead from a place of wholeness. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📚 Explore Alison’s books:  Boundaries for Your Soul: https://a.co/d/fwOjZde The Best of You: https://a.co/d/fjkMhoc I Shouldn’t Feel This Way: https://a.co/d/5x1cgie 📥 Get the Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools mentioned in last week’s episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on internal boundaries, check out: Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 41:  Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness & Set Boundaries with Loneliness Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Visit FayNutrition.com/BESTOFYOU to see if you qualify to work with a dietitian for as little as $0. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is summer leaving you more frazzled than refreshed? Between travel, family gatherings, long days, and shifting routines, summer can test your limits in unexpected ways. If you’re feeling stretched thin, resentful, or just plain exhausted—this episode will be your step by step practical guide to resetting your boundaries. Backed by recent research and years of experience, Dr. Alison walks you through why boundaries are essential for your brain, relationships, and emotional health—and how to set them with clarity and kindness. In this episode, you’ll learn: How healthy boundaries light up your brain The difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior Three levels of boundaries—from simple resets to firm protection Five boundary shortcuts you can start using today (with practical scripts!) Why the hardest boundaries are often the ones we set with ourselves If you’re longing for a summer with more peace, more joy, and less emotional exhaustion, this episode will leave you feeling empowered and equipped. 📥 Get Alison's free printable with the 5 boundary tools mentioned in this episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on boundaries, check out: Episodes 24 — Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25 — Types of “No” Part 1 — How to say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26 — Types of “No” Part 2 — How to say “No” to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn The Other Cheek & How to Form A Boundaries Committee 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your story—even the complicated parts—could become a doorway to deeper faith? In this inspiring conversation, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by author and professor Dr. Esau McCaulley, whose journey is a powerful example of how owning your story—even the hard parts—can lead to growth, healing, and deeper purpose. Together they explore how to reflect on your past with clarity, how to honor your roots while still moving forward, and how to build a faith and life that reflects who you truly are becoming. We talk about: How to grow stronger by facing your story with honesty Why your past doesn’t define your future—but it does matter How to forgive and still honor your boundaries The role of family, race, and faith in shaping identity How to live with more purpose by integrating your whole self A hopeful perspective on becoming grounded, resilient, and open to change If you’re on a journey of becoming more emotionally and spiritually whole, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, grounded, and more connected to your own growth. 📚 Learn more about Esau’s work at esaumccaulley.com 📖 Read his new memoir: How Far to the Promised Land  If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: Episode 156⁠ — Why Fear Shows Up When You’re About to Grow & How to Break Free from Self-Sabotage with Mary Marantz Episode 163⁠ — Healing Spiritual Wounds: Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachel Clinton Chen 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when the very place that was supposed to nourish your soul becomes a source of deep harm? In this deeply moving and necessary conversation, therapist, pastor, and trauma specialist Rachael Clinton Chen joins Dr. Alison Cook to talk about the pain of spiritual abuse—and what it looks like to begin healing from it. Whether you’ve experienced overt harm in a religious setting or carry subtle wounds from spiritual messaging that shaped your identity in unhealthy ways, this episode offers a gentle, powerful invitation toward healing, dignity, and reclaiming your voice. Rachael shares: Her own story of healing from spiritual abuseWhy spiritual pain is often so hard to name How systems of control in churches and families silence women and survivors The importance of embodiment and “coming home to yourself” in healing A theological lens for honoring your anger, grief, and truth If you've ever questioned your worth because of how faith was used against you—or wondered how to hold onto your spirituality while confronting the harm—you’re not alone. This episode is full of insight, validation, and hope for your journey. 📋Spiritual abuse can be hard to recognize, because it’s often the water we’re swimming in. That’s why The Allender Center put together a self-guided checklist designed to help identify signs of spiritual abuse in your own life or the lives of others. You can download it here. 🖥Take a healing step and start The Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and use code COOK20 for 20% at checkout. If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 67⁠ — The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 153 — Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride ⁠Episode 17⁠ — What Is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when repair in your family isn’t possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week’s conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he’s learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who’s been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what’s really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won’t take responsibility—or if your child won’t re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you’ve ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who’s walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps. 🖥 Learn more about Dr. Coleman’s work here. 📚 Grab a copy of his book Rules of Estrangement here. If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 161⁠ — Finding Yourself without Losing Your Family: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds: The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Start seeing a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Connect further with Dr. Alison Cook: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ www.dralisoncook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your family is the source of your deepest wounds? How do you hold onto your identity without cutting off the people who raised you? In this transformative conversation, therapist and relationship coach Jerry Wise discusses the concept of self-differentiation—a powerful framework for healing from family dysfunction without shame or blame. Whether you’re navigating complex family ties, considering going no contact, or simply longing to feel more like you, this episode offers a clear path forward rooted in wisdom, compassion, and courage. Jerry shares: His own journey from dysfunction to emotional clarity Why cutting ties doesn’t always lead to healing—and what might How to spot when you’re still emotionally enmeshed (even with distance) Practical steps to stop reacting and start reclaiming your sense of self If you’ve ever felt stuck in old family roles, overwhelmed by guilt, or confused about how to move forward with—or without—your family, this episode will meet you with both empathy and actionable insight. 🖥 Learn more about Jerry’s work: Jerry Wise Relationship Systems 📺 Watch his free training and explore his self-differentiation course If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 147 — The Hidden Trauma of Being the Chosen Child & a Path Toward Healing—Making Sense of Your Family Story Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds—The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships ⁠Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Thanks to our Sponsors! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do with the ache of not feeling wanted? The part of you that wonders if you’ll ever truly belong? In this powerful conversation with IFS therapist and author Tammy Sollenberger, we explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model helps you turn toward those tender places inside—rather than pushing them away. This conversation originally struck a deep chord with listeners—and it feels especially relevant right now. Whether you’re hearing it for the first time or tuning in again, it holds fresh insight for your journey. Tammy shares: Her personal story of feeling unwanted, even though her parents loved her. Why “parts work” is so transformative in healing emotional wounds How self-compassion opens the door to real connection A simple practice to begin befriending the hurting parts within If you’ve ever struggled with feeling left out, overlooked, or not enough—this episode will meet you with kindness, insight, and hope. 📘 Learn more about Tammy’s book: The One Inside 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 108 Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Episodes 39 through 43 —Boundaries For Your Soul series on IFS in 5 parts Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined by the brilliant and beautifully honest Dr. Heather Thompson Day for a conversation on spiritual wrestling. Heather’s latest book, What If I’m Wrong? Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failure explores what happens when the faith you once relied on starts to unravel. Heather shares openly about her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s, the spiritual crisis it triggered, and the years she spent in what she calls “spiritual drowning.” We talk about attachment, disappointment, failure, and the unexpected ways God shows up when everything else is falling apart. This conversation is a powerful example of how doubt and faith can co-exist. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re allowed to question your faith—or felt like you were losing your grip on God—this episode is for you. We explore: What happens when the God you believed in no longer matches your reality How therapy helped Heather not just psychologically but spiritually Why what feels like failure may be something deeper—and more redemptive The unexpected miracle Heather experienced at the end of her long season of doubt This isn’t a story of tidy answers. It’s a story of holding on, even when you’re not sure what you’re holding onto. 🎧 Listen now and share with someone who needs a reminder: doubt doesn’t mean you’re losing your faith—it might mean you’re learning to trust in a deeper way. 🔗 Heather’s new book: What If I’m Wrong?🔗 Connect with Heather: heatherthompsonday.com🔗 Follow Heather on Instagram: @HeatherThompsonDay 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ ⁠Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook ‍ Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ ‍ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your most distressing thoughts aren’t who you are—but a signal pointing to pain that needs healing? Therapist and author Monica DiCristina joins me to talk about the deeper emotional and spiritual wounds that often lie beneath distressing thoughts. Monica shares her personal journey with trauma-related intrusive thoughts and the power of finally naming what hurt. We also explore what to do when intrusive thoughts show up in our inner worlds, how to seek the right kind of support, and why healing always starts with curiosity rather than shame. Pick up your copy of Monica's new book: Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist's Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts Connect with Monica DiCristina 📞 Call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ Episode 134: Bridging Mysticism and Science—A Personal JourneyThrough OCD with Therapist Ryan Kuja Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're tackling a topic that continues to strike a chord with so many of you: how to make a change when you're stuck between loyalty and growth, guilt and freedom, regret and redemption. If you’ve ever struggled with a complicated relationship or wrestled with the quiet shame of feeling stuck, this episode is for you. We explore: The 3 brave paths you can take when a relationship feels hard. A powerful story of a woman confronting regret. How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt What "radical surrender" really means. Whether you're braving a big life change or feeling held back by old emotional patterns, this episode will gives you courage, clarity, and compassion. 📞 Plus, don’t forget to call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. ‍If you liked this, you’ll love:‍ Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault ‍Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ ‍Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if fear isn’t a warning sign—but a signal you’re stepping into something that matters? I’m joined by the brilliant and creative Mary Marantz to explore why fear often shows up right before a breakthrough—and how to stop seeing it as a reason to back down. We also get into:* How fear hides behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination* The surprising link between fear and creativity* Why grief is often the first step in learning to trust yourself* What it means to become the “grown-up in the room” for your own healing* How naming your inner critic can help disarm its power Check out Mary’s new book Underestimated! 📞 We want to hear from you! What’s one area of your emotional, mental, or spiritual health where you’d like to grow? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a voicemail with your name, where you’re from, and your answer. Your voice may be featured in a future episode! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Give your loved ones a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound design by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do I feel guilty for protecting my time or energy? Is this a boundary—or am I just avoiding someone? Boundaries stir up a lot of emotions. But what if they’re not about building walls, avoiding people, or being “selfish”? In this episode, I share a deeply personal and surprising take on what boundaries truly are—and why they matter more than you think. You'll hear: *Why healthy boundaries begin not with rejection, but with rhythm *The two most common ways we misuse boundaries *A powerful metaphor that changed how I think about relationships *How codependency, enmeshment, and burnout signal boundary issues *Real-life scripts and strategies to set boundaries with compassion and clarity Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 124: Boundaries & Numbing—How to Set Healthy Limits and Stop Avoiding Your Feelings Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 7: Why Are Boundaries So Hard to Set? Thanks to our sponsors: Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt emotionally exhausted—even while doing all the “right” things—this episode is for you. I’m sharing a personal story and unpacking something I see in so many women I work with: the quiet, often unnoticed pattern of denying your own needs in the name of being kind, helpful, or faithful. We’ll talk about how these patterns take root, how faith communities can unknowingly reinforce them, and why that emotional exhaustion you’re feeling might be trying to tell you something important. In this episode, I explore: * How codependency hides behind helping & overfunctioning * How the fawn response might be showing up in your life * The impact of church messages that tell us to "die to ourselves" without teaching us how to live * What healthy dependence looks like * Why your locus of control—internal vs. external—matters more than you think Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter? Episode 14: The Fawn Response & The Hidden Root of People Pleasing Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped my own healing journey—Dr. Hillary McBride. A psychologist, researcher, author, and speaker, Hillary is a leading voice in the integration of embodiment, spirituality, and trauma recovery. We discuss her personal story as well as themes from her powerful new book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Whether you’ve struggled with body image, experienced spiritual harm, or simply long to feel more whole—this conversation is for you. We explore: * Hillary’s story of healing from an eating disorder—and how it led her into her life’s work * Why body image issues are never just about the body * How trauma fragments our nervous system and disrupts our sense of safety, trust, and self * What spiritual trauma is and how it can quietly take root in early beliefs and experiences * How our attachment to God is often shaped by relational wounds—and what healing can look like Order your copy of Holy Hurt here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel constantly driven to get everything right—to be the perfect partner, parent, worker, or friend? On this week's solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how trying to be perfect is often a disguised way of managing deeper fears. You'll discover: * Why perfectionism is rarely about actually being perfect. * The main ways anxiety cleverly disguises itself. * The surprising question you need to ask yourself when you can’t stop perfecting. * Practical steps to break free from perfectionistic behaviors. Today's episode will give you proven strategies to finally break free from perfectionism. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety—Practical, Compassionate Insights to Recognize and Manage Anxiety Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the invisible yet relentless responsibilities that occupy your mind every single day? You’re not alone. In today’s insightful conversation, Dr. Alison welcomes psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip, author of a brand new book, A Better Share, to unpack the complexities of the mental load. Dr. Cutlip brings clarity and practical strategies to a topic that often creates tension and misunderstanding within families. Together, they explore: * The definition and dimensions of the mental load—physical, mental, and emotional. * Why women typically bear more of this invisible labor. * How to recognize signs of mental overload and prevent burnout and resentment. * Practical, real-world solutions for effectively communicating and sharing responsibilities with your partner. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation—Balancing Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Alison talks with Sheila Wray Gregoire, groundbreaking author of The Great Sex Rescue. They confront harmful misconceptions about sexual intimacy within Christian marriages, amplifying the often-overlooked voices of women. Sheila shares powerful insights drawn from her extensive research involving over 20,000 Christian women, challenging damaging narratives and revealing startling truths about sexual satisfaction, obligation, and intimacy. You'll learn: * The 4 harmful teachings that negatively impact sexual intimacy * Why “sex as obligation” is so destructive for women * How to reframe your sex story with your spouse * Practical steps toward recovering true intimacy Sheila's compassionate yet bold approach offers hope, clarity, and practical wisdom for those longing to rewrite their sexual stories, reclaiming God's true design for intimacy. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 125: Recovering From Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith with Dr. Camden Morgante Episode 126: Restoring Wonder & Play in Intimacy—Navigating Sexual Brokenness, Safety, and Vulnerability with Therapist Sam Jolman Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison explores the pervasive issue of narcissism—a term that's become increasingly relevant in today's culture. From toxic relationships to leadership failures, the influence of narcissism is widespread, affecting many without us even realizing it. Dr. Alison explains what it is and offers strategies to protect ourselves from its insidious effects. You'll discover: * The true meaning of narcissism beyond the buzzword. * How to recognize love bombing * The dangers of gaslighting and manipulation * The tactics of triangulation * Practical steps to guard your emotional health and develop resilience. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode1: What is Narcissism Really? Episode 13: Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage. In this episode, we dive into: * The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary * Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing * The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage * Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked * How to fight well and grow through conflict Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this powerful episode, Dr. Alison welcomes Adam Young, a psychotherapist and author of the new book, “Make Sense of Your Story”, to dive into the complexities of family dynamics, and how the stories we tell about our families shape our adult lives. Adam shares his personal experiences and professional insights on how being triangulated within his family as a child impacted his psychological development and emotional health. Here's what you'll learn: * Why it’s crucial to identify family myths * The unique trauma of being the chosen child * Idealizing families—why we do it & how it hurts us * The danger of self-betrayal in relationships * The #1 way to heal childhood attachment wounds * Traits of securely attached relationships Get Make Sense of Your Story by Adam Young Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special bonus episode of The Best of You podcast, Dr. Alison welcomes Annie F. Downs, New York Times bestselling author and founder of the That Sounds Fun network. Together, they explore the balance between joy and hardship, and the crucial differences between escapism and genuine relief. Annie also shares the poignant story behind her new children’s book, Where Did TJ Go? as well as insights into how fun and play can be integral to healing. Here’s what we cover: * The negative internal messages Annie had to overcome * The difference between real relief and escapism * Annie's personal journey through grief and how it has deepened her understanding of joy * Practical advice on integrating play into everyday life * An exclusive look into Annie’s new children's book, a heartfelt tool for families navigating grief Purchase Annie's new children's book Where did TJ Go? Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos Whittaker Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!  Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey or launch. And be sure to visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Dr. Alison dives into a heartfelt exploration of rejection, including how we internalize rejection from early life experiences, and how these moments shape our sensitivity to social dynamics and self-perception later in life. Dr. Alison shares personal stories and scientific insights to unpack the physical and emotional impacts of rejection, offering a pathway to healing and acceptance. You’ll learn: * How early experiences of rejection influence our reactions and relationships in adulthood * The scientific basis for why rejection hurts so much * Strategies for reframing our internal narratives * Practical tips for engaging with the parts of ourselves that still feel the sting of past rejections Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 87: A Surprising Way to Break Free From Self-Criticism & Comparing Yourself to Others Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this profoundly insightful episode, Dr. Alison explores the often overlooked "young places" within our souls with John Eldredge, New York Times bestselling author, counselor, and the author of the new book Experience Jesus. Really. Together, they explore how these inner areas of wounding can lead to transformative encounters with Jesus, providing opportunities for deeper healing through experiencing God’s loving presence. Here’s what we cover: *John's challenge to move past our over-reliance on left-brain thinking *The surprising ways God beckons our souls toward healing *A powerful example of how Jesus responds to young parts carrying trauma *The critical mistake many make when seeking healing *Why John believes we are all like amphibians *The difference between the illusion of security and the reality of safety Get Experience Jesus. Really here Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're diving deep into something that touches so many of us—why we seek external validation and approval from others, and how healing our younger parts can set us free. If you've ever found yourself people-pleasing, perfecting, over-performing, or seeking approval from others, this episode is for you.We’ll explore:
 ✔️ Why younger parts of us drive our overfunctioning tendencies
 ✔️ How unmet childhood needs shape our patterns of guilt and perfectionism
 ✔️ The difference between external validation and true inner security
 ✔️ My own journey of reconnecting with an 8-year-old part of me (and how it changed everything)
 ✔️ Simple, practical ways you can start reparenting your younger self today Whether you're longing for more joy, play, and vitality—or you're ready to step off the hamster wheel of approval-seeking—this episode will give you tools to start reconnecting with the young parts of you that have been waiting for your attention. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning—Discover the Hidden Costs of Always Being 'The Responsible One’ ‍Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this unmissable bonus episode, Dr. Alison chats with Carlos Whittaker, best-selling author and podcast host, about his life-changing experience of going screen-free for seven weeks. Immersing himself in the world of monks and Amish farmers, Carlos took a bold step away from the digital grind to reclaim his sense of connection with God, his community, and himself. Tune in to discover the profound life lessons Carlos learned from his digital detox, and how you, too, can find the simple joys of human connection in your daily life. You'll leave this episode inspired to make meaningful changes that enhance your connections with those around you! Pick up Carlos Whittaker's new book, Reconnected. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Thanks to our sponsor: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered how to transform daily stress into personal strength and resilience? In today's must-listen episode, Dr. Alison is joined by the incredible Aundi Kolber, a trauma therapist and bestselling author of Try Softer. You’ll hear the backstory behind Aundi's latest book, Take What You Need and learn tools needed to develop and practice self-compassion. This episode covers: * How to recognize when you're outside of your window of tolerance * What most of us have gotten wrong about developing resilience * The research behind self-compassion and why it leads to unexpected strength * A beautiful metaphor from the Bible to empower and encourage you on your own journey of healing Order Take What You Need here Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 129: Understanding Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner Resilience Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get ahead of the New Year with a routine that helps you now by going to Seed.com/bestofyou and use code 25BESTOFYOU to get 25% off your first month. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel guilty for not doing enough—or take responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own? Today Dr. Alison tackles the complex feelings of guilt and self-doubt—what guilt truly is, why it can feel so crushing, and how it often stems from taking responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own. She shares from her own journey of overcoming excessive guilt and the life-changing perspective that finally set her free. Here’s what we cover: * How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt, and why it matters * The #1 most important question to ask yourself when guilt takes over * 3 buried emotions underneath false guilt * Why excessive guilt damages your relationships * 3 steps to help you understand and manage the voice of guilt in your life Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the behaviors you turn to for comfort—whether it’s overworking, people-pleasing, or numbing out—aren’t the real problem, but rather a signal from a part of you that’s desperately trying to help? In this powerful and delightful episode, I sit down with Ian Morgan Cron—bestselling author and renowned Enneagram expert—to explore the fascinating intersections between Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the 12 Steps. Here's what we cover. . . * Why we’re all addicts in some way—and how the 12 Steps apply to everyone * What “firefighters” are in Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how they work to protect us * The true source of numbing behaviors * The surprising and liberating goal of the 12 Steps and what it means for all of us * Practical ways to find a safe person to share your struggles honestly and vulnerably * How we can all achieve emotional sobriety Pick up Ian's new book The Fix wherever books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Thanks to our sponsors: As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you always the one taking care of and fixing problems for everyone else? Today, I'm taking a deep dive into the heart of overfunctioning—exploring why so many of us feel compelled to take on excessive responsibilities, often at the cost of our own well-being. I delve into parentification, which I believe often lies at the root of overfunctioning. I also share how understanding these dynamics through Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory" can offer powerful insights for change. Whether you're tired of always being 'the responsible one' or you're seeking to understand your deep-seated need to please others, this discussion will clarify the roots of these behaviors and guide you toward a path of healing and freedom. Here’s what we cover: *What is overfunctioning, and how does it impact your life? *How childhood parentification fuels overfunctioning in adulthood *5 clear signs you were parentified as a child *3 practical steps to start healing *How Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory transforms boundary setting Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s the secret to healing marriage struggles and fostering deep connection? In this heartfelt and incredibly vulnerable conversation, Ron and Nan Deal share their journey of rebuilding a marriage that almost unraveled. Drawing from their new book, The Mindful Marriage, they reveal how understanding and managing your own pain cycles can transform relationships. Whether you’re married, single, or navigating any relationship, this episode offers profound wisdom and practical tools for emotional and personal growth. Episode Highlights: * Explore one couple's journey through shame, blame, and rediscovering connection. * Learn 4 Pain Cycles that disrupt relationships and how to break free from them. * Uncover practical steps to nurture your relationship’s “us-ness” without losing yourself. * Learn what to do when you're willing to do the work—but your partner isn't. Get your copy of The Mindful Marriage here. Take the free assessment Ron and Nan mention in the episode here. For more insights and tools for emotional and relational health, subscribe to Dr. Alison’s weekly email newsletter here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship: Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Get ahead of the New Year with a routine that helps you now by going to Seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code 25BESTOFYOU to get 25% off your first month. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you experience loving attachment when trauma leaves you feeling shattered? In this incredibly profound and insightful episode, therapist and author of the brand new book, Sacred Attachment, Michael Cusick joins us to explore how our darkest moments of brokenness are not just moments of pain, but pivotal opportunities for forming a deeper, more secure attachment with God. Michael shares about his own healing journey as a result of complex trauma, and we unpack how our pain can bring us even closer to encounters with God’s love. Today’s episode is for everyone who has ever felt broken. We discuss. . . *5 way of understanding brokenness (and why the "sin" paradigm falls short) *Why mystical encounters are for all of us *A jaw-dropping moment when Michael experienced God's love *The role of imagination in healing *How to restore exiled and wounded parts of us Order Sacred Attachment Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feeling exhaustion or post-holiday blues? How can we step into the New Year feeling refreshed and empowered? ‍ In this honest and vulnerable conversation, spiritual director and author Anjuli Paschall and I unpack our own journeys through holiday people-pleasing and how to reset for the New Year. As we close out the year, many of us grapple with a mix of relief and disappointment, compounded by the pressure of New Year's resolutions and the desire to start fresh. Anjuli offers her expert guidance on understanding these dynamics and introduces practical steps and spiritual practices to help us move forward with hope and clarity. ‍ Here’s what we cover:‍ * How to break free from holiday people-pleasing * The #1 way to stop trying to control other people’s feelings * Why post-holiday let down happens & what to do * How to develop and cultivate aspirational feelings in your body * Why the hope of a new year sometimes hurts & how to navigate those feelings * Prayers to move through complicated emotions Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 30: Protecting What’s Good Without Denying What’s Hard at the Holidays Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you curious about how science and spirituality intersect in understanding and treating mental health conditions like OCD? This week, therapist and spiritual director Ryan Kuja shares his incredible journey through the complex world of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). From a young age, Ryan battled intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors. Feeling isolated and overwhelmed, at 17, he cried out to God—a pivotal moment that launched him into an unexpected exploration of mysticism, neurobiology, and the intricacies of diagnosis. This episode is designed for everyone, whether you or someone you love is dealing with OCD, or you're simply interested in gaining a deeper understanding of the diverse human experience. Here’s what we cover: * Ryan recounts the pivotal moment at 17 when his struggle with OCD drove him to seek divine intervention * The difference between OCD and common intrusive thoughts—what sets them apart? * An overview of the latest and most effective treatments for OCD, from clinical approaches to innovative therapies * Ryan shares the spiritual practices that have not only helped manage his OCD but also enriched his spiritual journey Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner Resilience Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you move from feeling stuck to finding meaning and healing in your grief? In today’s episode, I’m honored to speak with David Kessler, one of the world’s foremost experts on grief and the author who expanded Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s original five stages of grief by adding a sixth stage: meaning. We explore how common reactions like avoidance, blame, and bargaining are a normal part of the grieving process, and how finding meaning can be a transformative step toward healing. Whether you’re grieving a loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation will help you better understand the continuum of grief and the power of creating meaning. Here's what we cover: * The 5 stages of grief and how different parts of us experience loss * David’s 6th stage of grief and how it developed out of his own story * The most important question to ask someone who is grieving * David’s 7 guidelines for creating meaning after loss * Why grief is intimately linked to joy Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Right now get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at Babbel.com/BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you’re constantly caring for others, whether it’s aging parents, your kids, or even your career—and there’s little time left for you? Women in the sandwich generation, particularly those aged 35-54, report higher stress levels than any other age group. If you’re juggling a heavy load of responsibilities as you care for others, you’re not alone. In this episode, you’ll gain practical tools to help you navigate this season with compassion and healthy boundaries, empowering you with the support and nourishment you need. Here's what we cover: * Why caring for others can stir up unresolved emotions and how to address them * 3 key strategies to help you through stressful seasons * The antidote for constant guilt * How to set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being * Practical ways to invite God into your daily routine Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do the holidays bring a mix of joy and complicated emotions for you? We're supposed to feel grateful, and parts of us do. But other parts of us feel nostalgic, driven by guilt, exhausted, or even angry. In this honest, vulnerable conversation, author and spiritual director Anjuli Paschall joins me to explore the emotions that surface during the holiday season. We talk about how to navigate these feelings with grace, and how these emotions can be gifts in disguise. We cover. . . * How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt * The surprising connection between anger and exhaustion * Why nostalgia can be both comforting and bittersweet * Practical ways to honor all your feelings during this emotionally complex season * Anjuli’s practice of praying through complicated emotions and finding God’s presence in them Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 30: Protecting What’s Good Without Denying What’s Hard at the Holidays Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if someone you know might be on the autism spectrum—or even questioned it about yourself? Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even missed entirely, especially in those who don’t fit common stereotypes. In this episode, neuropsychologist Dr. Donna Henderson joins us to unpack the complexities of autism, neurodiversity, and how we can better understand and support those around us. What You’ll Learn: * The 7 key criteria for identifying autism * When to pursue a neuropsychological evaluation * Why talk therapy often falls short for neurodivergent individuals * How someone can exhibit an "autistic nervous system" without having ASD * Practical ways to support loved ones This conversation will deepen your understanding of neurodiversity and help you see the world - and those you love - in a new light. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner Resilience Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel stuck in anxious thoughts? Are you longing for more moments of calm throughout your day? Every single one of us has a relationship with anxiety. The goal isn't to eradicate anxiety; it’s to work with anxiety to create more peace and balance in our lives. In this episode, I guide you through a clear, step-by-step understanding of your relationship with anxiety. Whether you’re navigating your own anxious moments or supporting loved ones, you'll learn how to identify root causes and key insights needed to find calm and clarity. Here’s what we’ll cover: * How to understand your unique experience with anxiety * Key root causes of anxiety, including genetics, personality, and environment * The impact of High Sensitivity (HSP) and neurodivergence on anxiety * 3 practical techniques to calm anxiety and cultivate strong internal leadership Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It with Curtis Chang Episode 109: Healing Burdens From the Past—How to Overcome Childhood Wounds and Heal Your Younger Self with Tammy Sollenberger Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you carrying burdens that aren't entirely your own? Could understanding your family's past be the key to unlocking a healthier future? In this powerful episode, we dive into the concept of generational trauma with my guest, Gina Birkemeier, therapist and author of the book & workbook, “Generations Deep”. Gina shares her personal and professional insights on how deep-seated family issues can affect us and how both faith and therapy play pivotal roles in healing and breaking these cycles. You'll learn. . . * What generational trauma is and how it subtly influences our lives * Why Gina realized that she needed therapy and Jesus * What epigenetics is and how our genes remember & sometimes inherit the trauma of previous generations * How to understand cycle breaking & to end the cycle of dysfunction * About the legacy burdens we carry from our family's past. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 127: Healing Childhood Wounds—The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 101: I Shouldn’t Feel Angry—Exploring the Violence that Shapes Our Family Stories & How to Heal with Lisa Jo Baker Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Right now get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at Babbel.com/BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are patterns from your past influencing how you show up in relationships today? In this episode, we explore how early family dynamics—like criticism, control, & emotional immaturity—shape our adult relationships. This process isn’t about placing blame but about building awareness of behaviors that impact self-worth, boundaries, and relational health. By naming these patterns, we open a path to greater confidence, healthier connections, autonomy, and healing. In this episode, we cover: * The two essential ingredients for building secure parent-child attachment * The role of enmeshment and individuation in emotional health * 5 common parenting patterns that disrupt secure attachment * 5 questions to assess how these patterns may be impacting you today * Practical steps to heal and change Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Have a question or an episode idea? Leave them here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: The Best of You: Break Free From Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self In God Episode 109: Healing Burdens From the Past—How to Overcome Childhood Wounds and Heal Your Younger Self with Tammy Sollenberger Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Purity Woods is currently offering 17% off sitewide but we have an additional 10% discount for our listeners for a total savings of 27%! Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that by adulthood, most people have experienced some form of sexual wounding? Today's conversation with Sam Jolman, therapist and author of the new book, "The Sex Talk You Never Got," is one of my absolute all-time favorites. Why? It truly surprised me. It’s so rare to find a nuanced conversation about sex—especially in a world where we’re constantly tugged between a reductive view of “purity” and an equally reductive sense of “permissiveness.” This conversation is packed with absolute gems—there’s depth, wisdom, and healing in every moment that’s relevant to all of us, no matter our stories. Here’s what we dive into: - How to establish safety, consent, and trust in intimate relationships - An eye-opening statistic from Harvard about what kids long for from their parents on the topic of sex - How to have a truly meaningful “sex talk” with your kids - What God actually desires from us when it comes to sex - Sam's advice for those who’ve experienced sexual wounding or brokenness and want to begin the healing process Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 125: Recovering From Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith with Dr. Camden Morgante Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get an additional 15% off Fatty 15's 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a fascinating conversation about the phenomenon of "purity culture." You've heard the phrase, but my guest today, licensed therapist and purity culture expert, Dr. Camden Morgante, is here to explain exactly what it was and how it created a culture of shame, fear, and coercion around sex, especially for women. We explore the damaging myths purity culture perpetuated and the ways it continues to affect women and married couples, especially around issues of intimacy and self-worth. Dr. Camden shares essential insights on how to heal from these harmful messages and move forward in faith, while also offering practical advice for anyone struggling with shame-based sexuality. Key Takeaways: - What purity culture is and its lasting impact on Millennials and Gen X - The 5 damaging myths, including the "gatekeeper," "damaged goods," & "flipped switch" - The most important strategy for couples dealing with disappointment around sex - The real meaning of intimacy beyond physical connection - Dr. Camden’s practical advice for overcoming shame and reclaiming your faith Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever struggled to set boundaries or wondered why it’s so hard to respect them in others, this episode is for you. We dive deep into how to set and receive healthy boundaries, and why so many of us confuse healthy limits with toxic behaviors. Spoiler: setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for healthy, thriving relationships. But that’s not all. When our boundaries are shaky, complicated emotions—like guilt, resentment, or anxiety—often arise. And instead of dealing with them, many of us reach for quick fixes: we numb. We avoid confronting those tough feelings that boundaries bring to the surface. Today, I’ll break down why we numb, how to recognize it, and the steps you can take to stop avoiding your emotions and start healing. This episode covers: * The difference between healthy boundaries and toxic behaviors * How to communicate boundaries without guilt or shame * Practical ways to receive boundaries from others gracefully * How to recognize when you’re numbing emotions (and what to do about it) * Why boundaries and emotional numbing are deeply connected—and how to untangle them You deserve relationships that nourish you, not drain you. This episode will help you understand the power of boundaries and guide you toward emotional freedom. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 26: How to say "No" to toxicity Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Healing What's Within by Chuck DeGroat is now available wherever books are sold. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do after someone hurts you? How do you heal the pain that lingers inside of you? This is such an incredibly helpful, honest and vulnerable conversation with my friend and fellow therapist Chuck DeGroat, author of the brand new book Healing What's Within. Chuck taught us so much about the harmful realities of narcissism in his book, When Narcissism Comes to Church, and now he's helping us heal the lingering wounds. Here’s what we cover: 1. The moment that launched 5 years of inner chaos for Chuck 2. 3 surprising questions God asks to each of us 3. How Adam & Eve were manipulated 4. The first step when dealing with narcissism 5. How take feedback from others 6. How to ask for what you need from others Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Pre-order Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself--and to God--When You're Wounded, Weary, and Wandering If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has anxiety ever made it hard for you to connect with God? Do you love God but sometimes struggle with church? Today's episode is such a breath of fresh air. I had the pleasure of diving into a deep, insightful conversation with New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer. We explore the powerful intersection of mental, emotional, and spiritual health, uncovering how these aspects work together to create a whole, integrated person. Here’s what we cover:‍ 1. Misconceptions in the church about true discipleship 2. The benefits and limits of therapy for personal growth 3. What to do when anxiety or past trauma make it hard to engage spiritual practices 4. John Mark’s candid experiences with therapy and what he’s learned 5. The two essential spiritual practices for holistic well-being 6. Our thoughts on the overlapping circles of emotional & spiritual maturity Listen to Dr. Alison Cook discuss fasting with John Mark Comer on the Rule of Life Podcast Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all face doubt, disappointment, and even disillusionment at times. In today’s episode, I’m sharing with you my framework for cultivating a vibrant inner spirituality—one that doesn’t bypass or exile the hard parts of this faith journey. Here’s what I cover: 1. The surprising secret to emotionally resilient faith 2. What is an inner family of parts? 3. Research on different faith orientations 4. The 5 languages (e.g. parts!) of faith 5. How to honor (& lead) each of these parts Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Have questions? Leave them for me here! Sign up for my weekly email and get free resources here If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Boundaries For Your Soul Series on Youtube Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s conversation is a fascinating deep-dive into celebrity culture with Katelyn Beaty, editor and author of Celebrities For Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, & Profits are Hurting the Church. We explore the dynamics of celebrity culture and its profound effects on both the church and our personal sense of worth and mission. Here’s what we cover: 1. The importance of developing an inner locus of control 2. How celebrity culture impacts the church 3. Parasocial relationships & influencers as attachment figures 4. Reevaluating what true success looks like 5. How to discern trustworthiness in people you follow Check out Katelyn's book Celebrities for Jesus here Find Katelyn's conversation with Chuck DeGroat on celebrity and narcissism here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 119: Drawing Strength from the Past —The Spirit of Justice: True Stories of Faith, Race, and Resistance with Dr. Jemar Tisby Thanks to our sponsors: Register for Broken to Beloved Conference Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Right now get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at Babbel.com/BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was an absolute honor to sit down with New York Times bestselling author & public historian Dr. Jemar Tisby for an incredibly rich conversation about his brand new book,The Spirit of Justice. We discuss his own story of coming to faith and what led him to explore stories of Black Christians who tirelessly pursued healing, goodness, and justice against impossible odds. Here’s what we cover: 1. The impact of culture on mental & emotional health 2. The double-edged sword of religion 3. The dissonance Jemar felt as a Black Christian in predominantly white settings 4. The lifelines who helped him shore up his faith 5. What is the spirit of justice? 6. Jemar’s thoughts on therapy 7. What stories of resistance teach us about following Jesus Get Jemar Tisby's new book The Spirit of Justice here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Cindy and I are tackling your questions about therapy, shedding light on research, common challenges, and insights to help you on your own healing journey! Here's what we cover: 1. Which modality should I use (DBT / CBT / IFS / EMDR)? (4:30) 2. What is the most important factor in getting results? (8:53) 3. What is trauma-informed therapy? (10:07) 4. How do therapists deal with getting triggered by a client? (16:03) 6. What if I’m “too much” for my therapist? (21:51) 7. Does therapy take the role of sin too lightly? (24:28) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful? Episode 113: A New Vision of Human Flourishing—A Christian Approach to Mental Health with Duke University Psychiatrist & Theologian Warren Kinghorn Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the Broken to Beloved Conference today Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like you’ve grown and healed, but the people around you haven’t? In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend and therapist, Dr. Monique Gadson, for a powerful conversation about how to ignite change not only within ourselves but also within the systems we're deeply connected to—whether that's our families, churches, or work environments. Here’s what we cover: 1. Dr. Monique’s insights from her work as a therapist within a church setting (8:06) 2. The difference between toxic cultures and imperfect human gatherings (17:00) 3. How kindness can sometimes hinder growth (29:07) 4. How to be "in" but not "of" a system (36:04) 5. The effects of culture-wide PTSD (38:35) 6. Practical ways to find and nurture hope (43:45) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass—Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places w/ Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Identify Red & Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation w/ Aundi Kolber & Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the Broken to Beloved Conference here Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39% Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you grow up in a blended family? Are you navigating the complexities of creating one? Blended families face unique challenges, and it can be overwhelming to sift through the stigmas and bad advice that often surround step-parenting. In today’s very personal episode, I’m joined by blended family expert Ron Deal. Together, we explore how step-families can become a powerful part of God’s redemptive story, offering healing and hope in the midst of grief, loss, and complicated circumstances. Today’s episode is filled with powerful tips for ANY family about how to become healthier. Here’s what we cover: 1. The two key ingredients to building and sustaining a healthy family (8:39) 2. Common sources of dysfunction in families and how to address them (11:32) 3. What the church often misunderstands about blended families and how we can shift the narrative (25:00) 4. The redemptive power of step-families in transforming pain into purpose. (36:53) 5. Empowering children to navigate change and loss with resilience (29:41) 6. Practical ways to honor grief within families and create a supportive environment (41:39) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 12: Overcoming the Pain of Divorce with Eryn Eddy Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the upcoming Broken to Beloved conference! Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want to learn how to strengthen your relationship over time? Do you want to have better communication and deeper intimacy with your partner? In this very honest episode, you'll learn strategies from top marriage & relationship experts combined with Biblical wisdom to work through pain paints, set realistic expectations, and practice constructive conversations with your partner. Here’s what we cover: 1. The most important way to improve your relationship (6:11) 2. How to identify bad advice vs. a helpful confidant (13:34) 3. Naming paint points in a healthy way (15:12) 4. 3 ways to frame a relational pain point (24:34) 5. The 4 most destructive qualities to a relationship (29:04) 6. The 4 most important skills to a vital long-term relationship (32:24)  Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 105: 4 Lies We Tell, the Mental Health Benefits of Honesty, & How to Stop Lying In Your Relationships Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Right now get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at Babbel.com/BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you struggle to let go of pain from your past? If so, you do not want to miss today's episode! Kobe Campbell is a trauma therapist and the author of Why am I Like This? She joins me today to discuss her own journey through healing and insight from her work as a trauma therapist. Here’s what we cover: 1. Kobe’s personal experience with trauma (4:10) 2. The burden she picked up as a twin (7:59) 3. How she found a therapist (12:37) 4. Can you heal from trauma? (23:30) 5. Kobe’s favorite tools for healing trauma (26:49) 6. How to advocate for yourself with a therapist (38:10) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 40% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do I struggle with mental health? How do I respond to Christians who claim there's no such thing as mental illness? What does my mental health diagnosis mean? If you've asked any of these questions, you don't want to miss today's episode! Join me as I discuss these crucial topics with Duke University psychiatrist and theologian, Warren Kinghorn, a leading expert in integrating Christian faith and mental health. Here’s what we cover: Does anxiety come from inside of me or outside of me? (7:22) The most important questions we must answer as human beings (11:03) What are the 7 benchmarks of mental health? (30:57) What is a Christian vision of flourishing? (34:27) Warren’s response to John MacArthur’s claims that there is no such thing as mental illness (41:08) How to think about diagnoses & what to look for in a clinician (46:23) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love Episode 45: Strong like Water—Finding the Freedom, Safety, & Compassion to Move through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing with Aundi Kolber Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if anxiety isn't your enemy? What if it's trying to help? We all feel anxious at times. As we close out this series on Inside Out, we're bring you some powerful tips about how to transform anxiety into a powerful ally. Here’s what we cover: 1. The most important strategy when you feel anxious (12:59) 2. How to recognize the voice of anxiety (14:03) 3. The relationship between anxiety & numbing (18:07) 4. Healthy “escape” vs. unhealthy numbing (21:22) 5. How to understand passages like “Do not be anxious” in the Bible (22:36) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code BESTOFYOU. Go to helloned.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever get activated by your kids—even when they’re not really doing anything wrong? It happens to the best of parents! Today’s episode, featuring renowned Enneagram expert, Beth McCord, is such an incredibly helpful and practical conversation about how to transform triggers into opportunities for health and connection. Here’s what we cover: 1. How the Enneagram helped Beth stop comparing herself to other moms (7:46) 2. Why neither shaming yourself—or blaming others works (10:16) 3. A step by step process for what to do when you get activated by your kids (21:30) 4. How Beth's family’s love for debate triggered childhood wounds & how she worked through it (29:37) 5. How and when to talk about the Enneagram with your kids (39:00) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships Episode 109: Healing Burdens From the Past—How to Overcome Childhood Wounds and Heal Your Younger Self with Tammy Sollenberger Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code BESTOFYOU. Go to helloned.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all need to tune up our boundaries from time to time, especially when encountering difficult people. Today, I'm sharing an encore episode about the Biblical mandate to "Turn the Other Cheek." Spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with being a doormat in the face of toxicity! Originally titled, Should I Turn the Other Cheek? Why It's the Opposite of Being a Doormat & How to Stand Firm in the Face of Gaslighting, Manipulation, & Toxicity, today's episode shows you how to detect toxic strategies and navigate tricky relational situations with wisdom and clarity. Here's what we cover: 1. What the Bible has to say about toxic behavior (5:24) 2. Does it work to “love people into change”? (14:56) 3. Biblical examples of being a fool (33:14) 4. Biblical strategies for being wise like Jesus (36:52) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever struggle with negative beliefs about yourself, even though you know they aren't true? We all carry burdens that we pick up in childhood, and these burdens can be surprisingly persistent. Today's guest, therapist, author of The One Inside, & host of The One Inside IFS podcast, Tammy Sollenberger shares her journey of healing her younger self from these painful burdens. Here's what we cover: The surprising way we can connect with God's healing Why we pick up burdens in childhood How Tammy healed her burden of "I'm not wanted" The impact of childhood burdens on marriage and parenting The spiritual practices that have helped Tammy heal Find the transcript and resources from the episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten / Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like you're wearing a mask, hiding how you really feel from others? Do you find yourself in conflict with different aspects of your personality, struggling to find harmony? In honor of the new Pixar movie, Inside Out 2, we're diving into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in a brand new series this week! Today's guest, Jenna Riemersma is an amazing human, an expert IFS clinician, and the bestselling author of 2 books on IFS. Here's what we cover: What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? The hidden cost of high-performance armor Are kids truly resilient or just coping? 3 signs of a good therapist Jenna's journey of writing her book on IFS Innovative Practices for ongoing healing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Connect with Jenna at: https://jennariemersma.com/ Get Jenna's free Insight Timer IFS meditations Read Altogether You and Altogether Us If you like this episode you'll love: Episode 39: Boundaries For Your Soul: How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic & Why All Parts Are Welcome Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code BESTOFYOU. Go to helloned.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you or someone you love struggled with depression? If so, you’re not alone. Rates of depression have increased in the past few years, and my guest today is here to give us hopeful, helpful, science-backed wisdom on how to name, frame, and brave a path out of depression. From identifying the subtle signs of mild depression to addressing more severe and persistent symptoms, our conversation will equip you with practical tools and strategies to tackle depression. Whether you're personally struggling or supporting a loved one, this episode will help you find clarity and direction. My guest today, Dr. Len Lantz, is one of America's top psychiatrists and a clinical assistant professor in psychiatry at the University of Washington School of Medicine. He is the editor of www.psychiatryresource.com, and he maintains a clinical practice at Big Sky Psychiatry in Helena, Montana. **Content Warning: This episode briefly touches on the topic of suicide. We want you to feel safe and cared for while listening, so please take care, or if you need to skip this one, consider asking a friend to listen on your behalf.** Here’s what we cover: 1. Why mental health diagnoses are hard to get right (10:53) 2. Current statistics on increasing rates of depression (16:51) 3. Signs and symptoms of depression (18:21) 4. Debunking stigmas about depression in faith-based communities (22:53) 5. Research-backed interventions for mild depression (25:48) 6. Proven medical options for treating severe or stubborn depression (33:38) 7. How to support a loved one struggling with depression (38:56) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs, Embrace Critical Thinking, & Navigate Holistic Health with Dr. Josh Axe Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to https://hensonshaving.com and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Give all the fathers in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you wondered how a single negative comment can shape your beliefs about yourself? In this episode, we dive into the crucial distinction between critical thinking and limiting beliefs, exploring how they shape our decisions. My guest, Dr. Josh Axe, author of the New York Times bestselling book, Think This, Not That, shares his personal story of overcoming a powerful limiting belief and helping his mom navigate through cancer. He offers some powerful critiques of our current medical model, and some practical tips to navigate a more holistic way towards health. Do not miss this thought-provoking episode! Here’s what we cover: 1. The difference between critical thinking and limiting beliefs (2:52) 2. How one person’s negative comment created a limiting belief (9:11) 3. Josh's journey with his mom through cancer (13:51) 4. The negative effect of limiting beliefs (19:21) 5. An incisive critique of pharmaceutical ads in the U.S. (21:39) 6. How to balance natural & medical interventions (23:41) 7. The power of reverse-engineering your life based on your vision for the future (34:18) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 105: 4 Lies We Tell, the Mental Health Benefits of Honesty, & How to Stop Lying In Your Relationships Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to https://hensonshaving.com/bestofyou and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ever tempted to lie to spare someone’s feelings or avoid conflict? You're not alone. Research shows that most people tell at least one lie every day, even though honesty significantly benefits our relationships and mental health. In today’s episode, we explore the science and Biblical wisdom behind lying, and I'll share practical strategies to foster more honesty (spoiler alert: it involves setting boundaries!) in your relationships. Here's what we cover: How often do we lie? 4 mental health benefits of honesty 4 types of lies we tell The link between lying and boundaries 3 reasons why we lie The most important question to ask yourself about the lies you tell Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to https://hensonshaving.com/bestofyou and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt isolated because you can't open up to others? Do you worry that showing vulnerability might lead to more hurt? You are in for such a special treat today. This is such an honest, incredibly real conversation about the risks of vulnerability, the hurts that come from letting others in AND the incredible opportunities for intimacy, connection, and healing when we do. My dear friends, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick, authors of the new Bible study experience, "Moms at the Well," surveyed over seven hundred moms and discovered most women struggle with worry, anger, comparison, escapism, a desire for control, and heartbreak. Yet most women feel alone in these struggles. If you've ever felt lonely or skeptical about finding community with other women, this episode is for you. Here's what we cover: * The dissonance we feel about vulnerability (2:21) * How 1 marriage crisis launched a 20 year small group (11:28) * 2 essential ingredients to safeguard trust (16:00) * How they dealt with gossip (21:50) * Strategies for dealing with hurt feelings, ruptures & repair (24:38) * One shocking result from their survey (34:43) * The strategy Alison used to find a friend when lonely (43:35) * The one thing that kills group trust (48:43) For 20% off + free shipping for Moms at the Well, use code IVPPOD20 here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We don't want to gossip, but most of us do it. What if gossip actually plays a deeper role in our lives and relationships? So often in life we bump into "grey areas," areas that can stir up dissonance inside of us. We hold certain beliefs or values, yet we find ourselves acting in ways that are contrary to those values. In this series, we're exploring some of these areas that can bring up dissonance inside. Our focus today is gossip. I explore the problems with gossip, as well as some of the surprising research on how it can be constructive. By examining both the positive and negative aspects of gossip, you'll feel empowered to name, frame, and brave a healthier understanding of gossip in your life and relationships. Why gossip is a gray area (3:09) What the Bible says about gossip (6:42) What psychology research says about gossip (12:46) 6 motivations behind gossip (13:43) Constructive vs. destructive forms of gossip (21:40) How to Name, Frame, and Brave gossip in your own life (29:17) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God Episode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your Relationships Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel distant from God? Do you struggle with conflicting emotions or unanswered questions that make it hard to feel God's presence in your life? Today's episode brings the 🔥🔥🔥. I'm passionate about naming the false guilt and counterfeit messages that keep us from a vibrant relationship with God. So often we try to shove complicated feelings aside or manipulate ourselves into feeling what we think we “should” feel in our faith. It doesn't work. The good news is that as with any relationship, when you name and frame what you're feeling honestly, you invest in a deeper, more authentic relationship with God. Here’s what we cover… 1. The problem with spiritual bypassing (7:36) 2. 6 counterfeit messages we internalize about God (19:34) 3. 5 framing questions to help you transform those messages (24:23) 4. Specific examples of braving steps you can take in your spiritual life (26:51) 5. My personal experience with spiritual dissonance (31:44) Today's episode is based on an excerpt from Chapter 11 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way, available everywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources from this episode here. Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching Books Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Book Launch day! Today I Shouldn't Feel This Way is out in the world AND it's the two-year anniversary of The Best of You Podcast . To celebrate, I asked my friend, fellow therapist, and author, Aundi Kolber, to join me for a special bonus episode! Join us as we share insights into why we started writing, what we keep private vs. what we share publicly, and how to navigate the publishing industry. Pick up your copy of I Shouldn't Feel This Way today! Get Aundi's Strong Like Water Guided Journey today! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you navigate anger in your family? What do you do when a parent who was supposed to love you and keep you safe actually caused you harm? Families evoke such complicated emotions. You might feel angry and then guilty about that anger. You might feel a mixture of love and resentment. Today, we tackle family anger and generational trauma. My guest, Lisa-Jo Baker was a teenager when her mother died, leaving her alone with her father and his fierce temper. When she found herself exhibiting that same temper with her own son, she knew it was time to dig deeper. Her new memoir, It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping, is a beautifully written, incredibly powerful story of the legacy of anger, violence, and generational trauma—and how one family healed. You do not want to miss this conversation. Here’s what we cover: 1. When a parent is both hero & villain (9:13) 2. The moment Lisa-Jo realized her father’s anger had become hers (15:43) 3. How she began to investigate her past (19:05) 4. A powerful metaphor for the scars of our families (31:31) 5. The risk of discussing your pain with your parents (35:07) 6. Self-righteous anger vs. wise anger (36:30) 7. What Lisa-Jo confronted about racism as a South African and an American (39:14) 8. Biblical wisdom for healing (51:41) Order It Wasn't Roaring It Was Weeping here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Episode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve Carter Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you thought you could trust? It's a deeply painful experience that can leave you questioning not only the betrayer but also your own judgment. Trust, once broken, seems almost impossible to rebuild. My guest today, Steve Carter, experienced a series of profound betrayals at a pivotal moment in his life. In 2018, amidst misconduct allegations against Bill Hybels, founder of Willow Creek Community Church, Steve made the difficult decision to step down from his role as a newly minted lead pastor—a position he once considered his dream job. Shortly thereafter, he faced yet another personal betrayal by his own parents. Reeling from the loss of his job, his dream, and his trust in those closest to him, Steve entered a desert season guided by three words he sensed God gave to him: Grieve. Breathe. Receive. Steve's journey through loss is so powerful, so honest, and so deeply healing. Please do not miss this conversation! Here’s what we cover: 2 essential ingredients for trust (12:40) Why grief is the antidote to cynicism (22:28) Confronting our attraction to patterns of narcissism (28:08) The anger high vs. the peace of forgiveness (36:25) How he hangs on to his love for the church (34:03) Purchase Grieve, Breathe, Receive by Steve Carter here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like your spirit is broken? Do you feel like you can't put yourself back together despite your best efforts? Please do not miss this episode. My guest, Christopher Cook, has such powerful words about a broken spirit and how it’s different from (but related to) depression and burnout. We also dig into a real time discussion of the dark night of the soul. This conversation connected so many dots for me, and I cannot wait for you to hear it. Here’s what we cover: 1. The painful circumstances that nearly broke Christopher's spirit (7:00) 2. Recovering from survival mode (12:59) 3. What is a broken spirit? (15:32) 4. Chris’s experience of a dark night of the soul (25:07) 5. The true meaning of surrender (30:46) 6. How to support someone going through a dark night of the soul (41:12) Check out Healing What You Can't Erase by Christopher Cook Find a list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best? Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when you're grieving? How do you support others through grief? Grief shows up in all of our lives—whether you’re grieving the loss of a person, a relationship, or a dream. We need each other to grieve well. It’s not something we were designed to do in isolation. My guest today, hospital chaplain, J.S. Park, is a powerful story teller and grief catcher. His viral posts about grief and death have revealed an incredibly important need. So many of us long to give voice to our grief in a culture that often rushes to push it aside. If you're feeling grief, or if you love someone who's grieving, please do not miss this episode. Here’s what we cover:  1. Why parts of us fear grief (5:20) 2. Why naming grief is so important (9:50) 3. How sitting with loss impacted Joon's faith (23:56) 4. The prayer Joon says before walking into a room (26:20) 5. The #1 thing you can do for someone after a loss (30:56) 6. How to set grief boundaries (36:40) 7. How to support someone who is grieving & what *not* to do (41:07) 8. The one word Joon wants for all of us (48:46) Order Joon's new book here. Find a list of resources from this episode here. Related Episode: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is just so special and so deeply personal. If you’ve experienced trauma, please listen. If you love someone, please listen. Trauma touches so many lives, and it’s so often misunderstood. In today’s episode, Monique Koven, host of The Healing Trauma podcast, shares her powerful story of healing from trauma. There is absolute gold in this episode for everyone. Here’s what we cover: 1. The anxiety response she couldn't "logic" herself out of (8:50) 2. How misdiagnosis caused further harm (10:39) 3. The role of anger in her healing (21:21) 4. Exactly how she began to heal the anxiety response she experienced (32:03) 5. Separating God out from hurtful church messages (24:15) 6. How Ann Voskamp’s work showed her an example of glimmers (34:36) 7. Monique’s profound word for you if you’ve experienced trauma (38:13) Find a list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley Episode 15: C-PTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you walk on eggshells with someone you love? Do you sometimes feel like you can't have an honest conversation? Signs of emotional immaturity are everywhere. In today’s episode, we dive into the signs of emotional immaturity and its profound effect on our relationships. You'll learn the difference between emotionally mature and immature responses so that you can improve your connections. Here’s what we cover: 1. Why emotional immaturity is so prevalent & how it showed up in me! (6:15) 2. Examples of mature vs. immature emotional responses (10:43) 3. The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism (21:44) 4. The role of enmeshment in emotional immaturity (29:41) 5. Tips for how to navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature person (35:33) 6. Tips for growing in emotional maturity (37:42) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re human, you’ve encountered some toxic behaviors. We all have. And it’s not wise to be naive about them. I’m passionate about helping you identify these toxic behaviors—not to label people, but to name behaviors accurately. When you understand the nature of toxic strategies, you can protect yourself and move toward health. Here’s what you’ll learn: 1. A mistake vs. a pattern of toxic behaviors (4:59) 2. The root of toxic behaviors (15:14) 3. Examples of healthy communication vs. manipulation (16:40) 4. Identifying guilt-driven love (22:03) 5. The difference between constructive feedback & criticism (25:48) 6. Examples of triangulation (31:32) 7. The #1 antidote against toxic behaviors (36:17) 8. Examples of word & action boundaries (39:04) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Playlist Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Listen & subscribe to https://tinyurl.com/HeartOfDatingPodcast! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you decide when it’s time to leave a place or a relationship behind? We have to make decisions all the time. Yet most of us struggle with it. It’s hard to leave something (or someone) behind. It’s also hard to give ourselves the time that we need to wrestle with the decision. When you don’t have a process, you might be tempted to avoid decision-making. Or you might rush too quickly into a decision that isn’t quite right. That’s why I’m thrilled to have this conversation with Emily P. Freeman this week. It’s such a rich conversation about how to discern when it’s time to walk away and what to do when it's time to enter into a new space. Here’s what we cover: 1. The truth about tiny red flags (11:29) 2. 4 crucial questions to ask yourself (13:40) 3. What to do with those 51/49 decisions (20:13) 4. Readiness vs. timeliness in decision making (21:30) 5. Emily’s decision process for leaving a church (25:26) 6. How to walk into a new space (33:28) 7. A life-changing 2 word mantra for decision making (38:34) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episode: Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotions are complicated. They're also beautiful. When you don't honor the complicated mix of fears, frustrations, and also the good things that you feel, you doubt yourself and you doubt other people. You deprive yourself of the opportunity to get real wisdom and to brave healthier solutions. Today we're diving into these complicated feelings together. Here's what we cover: 1. Why emotional complexity is a gift 2. Examples of how we guilt-trip & gaslight ourselves 3. How to locate emotions within a larger story 4. Real-life examples 5. The 3 most important guideposts to get started Preorder I Shouldn't Feel This Way! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episode: Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We experience big and little losses all the time. A friend moves away. An opportunity passes you by. A relationship ends. Learning how to recognize and honor the losses we all experience can become a beautiful part of life, leading to more kindness, self-compassion, and connection. But we don't often talk about our losses, let alone how to honor them. That's why I loved this conversation with Rachel Marie Kang about creating space to honor loss. She is the author of the brand new book, The Matter of Little Losses, a beautiful journey through how to honor the big and little losses in your life. Here's what we cover: 1. The difference between loss and grief (2:09) 2. Different types of loss (7:22) 3. How we process loss as children (14:23) 4. Examples of “little” losses (22:46) 5. The most important way to parent kids through losses (31:04) 6. Rachel’s 3 steps for tending losses each day (35:25) 7. The thing we want most to help us through loss (39:59) 8. Why honoring loss brings hope (47:25) Get The Matter of Little Losses here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth Episode 91: Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you doubt yourself? Struggle to respect your own worth? Self-worth is foundational to both our psychological and our spiritual health, and today's episode is all about how to develop it. My guest, Jamie Kern Lima, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover: 1. The 4 benefits of self-worth 2. The difference between self-worth and self-confidence 3. The moment Jamie realized she was believing a lie 4. Who are you really doubting? 5. The prayer Jamie prayed to combat God-doubt 6. Research on negative self-talk 7. How to reframe rejection Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episode: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten. Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating transitions with your children is a deep dive into raw emotions, facing conflict, and your own unhealed wounds. These transitions aren't easy. The stakes feel so high! But when you face them with courage, compassion and curiosity, you'll find your way through the wilderness and onto a beautiful path. As you do your own work, you'll be an even stronger anchor for your kids! Rowena Day is back to discuss: 1. How parenting changes our neural pathways (9:25) 2. Learning to set limits (12:17) 3. Parenting differently than how you were parented (22:10) 4. Growth vs. fixed mindset (29:29) 5. A better way to praise your kids (30:29) 6. The problem with peer attachments (36:40) 7. The ultimate goal of all this parenting work (45:47) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We need attachments to other people, places, and to God. Yet transitions have a way of shaking up those attachments—even healthy ones! Today we’re talking all about how to balance our need to hold on to others - and also the need to let go. It takes skill and self-compassion to navigate these seasons of wrestling for more health, more connection, or more freedom. Here’s what we cover: 1. Healthy & unhealthy attachments (9:34) 2. The 2 competing relationship needs everyone has (21:45) 3. Attachment voids (28:12) 4. Practices to anchor yourself (33:50) 5. The role of liminal figures (40:08) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter? Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when life feels disorienting or uncertain? Maybe a relationship ends, you change jobs, or your children no longer need you in the same way. Change is disorienting. We don’t always recognize the value in slowing down to process these in between places—when we’ve left something (or someone) behind but aren’t yet sure what the future is going to look like. This next series is all about navigating transitions. I've invited spiritual director, Rowena Day, on to discuss. . . 1. Normalizing liminal spaces (2:50) 2. Do we ever "arrive" at stability? (9:11) 3. Fascinating research on the pain of uncertainty (26:25) 4. The 3 stages of transitions (27:13) 5. The surprising value in endings (28:28) 6. How your body can become your ally (41:25) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Other episodes with Rowena Day: Episode 31: Peace-Keeping, Anger Avoidance, and How to Start Using Your Voice Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend, What Happens When You Avoid It, and How to Create Space for Healthy Expression of Anger in Your Family Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit.  15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like others are doing better than you? Do you struggle with an inner critic? Do you see the strengths in others, but struggle to see them in yourself? This episode will empower you. I've personally seen the harm that negative comparison can do, and I'm passionate about helping you escape its trap. You'll uncover a surprising way to tackle comparison, along with simple steps to follow when it arises. Most importantly, you'll learn how to focus your attention on what matters most. Listen to this episode whenever you catch yourself in self-criticism. Here's what we cover: —The only time comparison is healthy —Two types of negative comparison —A powerful metaphor from the Bible —The surprising antidote to comparison —4 simple steps to transform your outlook —1 powerful question to ask yourself each day Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 84: The Truth About Happiness and 4 Proven Ways to Feel Happier Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It’s Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conflict is a part of every relationship. It’s normal to disagree from time to time - even (especially!) with the people you love the most. Yet so many of us fear conflict and do all we can to avoid it. In today’s episode, I show you how to transform conflict into an opportunity for growth. Here’s what we cover: 1. The causes of conflict (6:48) 2. 5 benefits of conflict (10:17) 3. The top 3 reasons we avoid conflict (21:18) 4. 4 steps to mastering conflict (30:40) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Preorder I Shouldn't Feel This Way! Related Episodes: Episodes 80 through 83 on Youtube Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships Episode 53: StrengthsFinder—How to Claim Your Strengths, Lean On Others & Thrive at Home and Work Episode 84: The Truth About Happiness and 4 Proven Ways to Feel Happier Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s hard to lead a family! It's even harder when you didn’t experience health in your own family as a child. Today, I’m walking you through what a healthy family looks like and what happens when it gets out of balance. This is a practical, non-shaming guide to identifying what's working in your family and how to course-correct when it's not! Here’s what we cover: 1. The goal of a healthy family (5:19) 2. Signs of dysfunction vs. signs of health (8:07) 3. 6 extreme roles children get pushed into (19:44) 4. 4 simple, research-backed strategies to create harmony within your family (37:28) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter? Episode 68: How *Not* to Lose Yourself–Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us want to be happier, but we don't even know what true happiness means! We walk around feeling unmotivated, stuck, and unsure of our next steps. The truth is that the path to happiness is just a few steps away. In today's episode, I'm walking you through exactly what happiness is and exactly how you can put yourself on the path toward finding it. Here's what we cover: 1. What exactly is happiness? 2. 4 myths about happiness 3. 4 truths about happiness 4. Simple, practical steps anyone can take to feel happier Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode ⁠here⁠. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here⁠. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email ⁠here⁠. Related Episodes: 5 Steps to Navigating Overwhelming Emotions playlist on Youtube Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Episode 53: StrengthsFinder—How to Claim Your Strengths, Lean On Others & Thrive at Home and Work Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to good ranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people feel anger, sadness, or fear at some point during the day. It's normal to feel these emotions. The question is, what will you do when they show up: Will you let them sabotage you? Or will you turn them into your allies? In today’s episode, I teach you the skills you need to turn these feelings into your allies so that you can experience more joy and healthier boundaries. Here’s what we cover: 1. The #1 question to ask yourself (6:38) 2. How anger is trying to help (6:53) 3. What to do when you feel sadness (11:03) 4. An illustration from one of my favorite movies (15:11) 5. Why we need fear (19:41) 6. A powerful exercise to use at any time (29:00) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions—2 Essential Steps to Bring Calm to the Chaos Within Episode 81: Finding God Through Your Feelings—How to Practice the Presence of God No Matter What You’re Feeling Episode 82: Why We Overreact—How Big Emotions Can Help You Unburden Past Hurts Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all over-react at times. I know I do! Maybe someone is late, and you get really angry instead of a little annoyed. Or your colleague gives you constructive feedback, and you feel decimated inside. You don't know why you had such a big reaction. What if those "overreactions" are actually clues to the past? In today’s episode I walk you through an incredibly practical way to use the power of big emotional reactions in the present to help you heal from events in the past. When you decode the information in your overreactions, you can finally unburden yourself. 1. The main reasons we overreact (8:27) 2. Why we pick up burdens from the past (16:36) 3. The effects of parentification (18:55) 4. How to become a cycle-breaker (23:27) 5. A real-time exercise in unburdening (29:20) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episode: Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Go to storyworth.com/bestofyou and save $10 on your first purchase! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re struggling to feel connected spiritually or stuck in negative emotions, you’re in good company. Research shows that 9 out of 10 people struggle with stress during the holidays. In today’s episode, I walk you through my simple but life-changing strategy for unlocking spiritual connection and experiencing more of God’s loving presence. Here’s what we cover: 1. 3 reasons painful emotions get heightened at the holidays (2:32) 2. A simple hack for experiencing more spiritual vitality (8:22) 3. The neurobiology of what happens when you connect with God (9:43) 4. How to transform mundane moments into spiritual encounters (12:18) 5. How to harness your external environment to change your mental habits (23:03) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions—2 Essential Steps to Bring Calm to the Chaos Within Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Listen to Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson wherever you get your podcasts! Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your emotions aren't your enemies afterall? What if they actually help? This holiday season, I'm taking you on a deep dive into my proven 5-step method for finding joy and peace by bringing harmony and wholeness to your inner world. Today, we'll walk through the first 2 steps that are crucial to developing a healthy relationship with your emotions. Here’s what we cover: 1. 3 truths about emotions (5:19) 2. A counterintuitive (but essential!) first step (9:38) 3. How to speak on behalf of an emotion vs. from it (17:21) 4. The surprising solution to negative emotions (21:58) 5. How to finally move from self-condemnation to self-compassion and why this is central to the message of Christ (32:40) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Boundaries for Your Soul Youtube Series Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was thrilled to have this conversation about a book that's easily one of my favorites this year. The brilliant author, professor, and public theologian, Esau McCaulley is here to share his personal experience with the many faces of trauma and how he stayed connected to the goodness of God through all of it. Esau’s new book, How Far to the Promised Land, is a gripping, powerful story of one man’s journey of survival and hope. This conversation is packed with so much incredible insight all the way through to the end. Here’s what we cover: 1. Esau's early experiences with trauma (6:59) 2. How being a dad has been part of Esau’s healing (11:48) 3. Racial trauma (18:08) 4. How to integrate different parts of yourself (28:53) 5. Why we have to tell our stories (31:18) 6. Esau’s thoughts on forgiveness (40:35) Check out How Far to the Promised Land here! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness & Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to storyworth.com/bestofyou and save $10 on your first purchase! Start taking control of your health today at WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is packed! First, I walk you through some practical, research-backed thoughts on forgiveness and grace. Then I invite you into a conversation I had with none other than Max Lucado about how God’s forgiveness and grace played out in his own life. Here's what we cover: 1. The difference between grace & forgiveness (2:20) 2. Personality type & forgiveness (7:11) 3. 3 types of forgiveness (11:03) 4. How to forgive (15:15) 5. Max’s personal story of grace (23:28) 6. Clear words of wisdom about toxicity (37:38) Check out Max Lucado's new book, God Never Gives Up On You: What Jacob's Story Teaches Us about Grace, Mercy, and God's Relentless Love Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you felt far from God? Do you find yourself wondering what in the world God is doing amidst all that is hard? I would argue that a dark night of the soul is a healthy response to pain, brokenness, or suffering. We need to create space for these seasons of wrestling with God—not try to shove them aside or stigmatize them. In today’s episode, here’s what we cover: 1. What is a dark night of the soul? (4:09) 2. How is it different from depression? (6:55) 3. Why does God allow us to feel far from Him at times? (19:16) 4. How these seasons help us grow closer to each other (33:07) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I read country music singer Granger Smith's new book in one sitting and cried my way through it. It’s a powerful story of the unspeakable loss of his 3-year old son and what happened in the aftermath. Granger tried everything to cope with the trauma, including numbing and every self-help hack. It didn't work. This is an incredible story of what happens when self-help fails and God shows up. Here’s what we cover: 1. The traumatic “slide show” that ran through Granger's mind for months (10:44) 2. Why we numb (16:19) 3. Granger's rock bottom moment and what happened after (24:33) 4. What grief looks like when transformed (30:38) 5. How self-help messages gaslight us (40:59) This episode contains discussions about suicide which may be distressing for some listeners. Please prioritize your well-being and proceed with caution. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 for free, confidential support. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress & Anxiety—How to Transform Your Mind Through the Power of Prayer Episode 74: The Neurobiology of Hope and How to Find Hope in Hard Times with Dr. Curt Thompson Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prayer is where self-awareness meets God-awareness. I’ve come to cherish it as an intimate, deeply grounding practice. But I haven’t always felt that way. It used to evoke anxiety and activation inside of me as I worked to earn God's favor. That’s why I love this conversation with Kayla Craig, author of the new book Every Season Sacred. In this candid conversation, we talk about prayer in a fresh new way that will transform how you practice it. Here’s what we cover: 1. Scientific research into the effectiveness of prayer (3:57) 2. What prayer is (11:19) 3. How to pray when your emotions are chaotic (38:43) 4. Calming your nervous system (37:25) vs. hail mary prayers (10:44) 5. Different types of prayer (33:02) Check out Kayla's new book Every Season Sacred: Reflections, Prayers, and Invitations to Nourish Your Soul and Nourish Your Family Throughout the Year Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episode: Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am so thrilled to have my friend, Dr. Curt Thompson, on the podcast today. I have been deeply transformed by Curt’s work, and in today's conversation, Curt breathes fresh life into a topic that is too easily tossed around and oversimplified—Hope. We take a deep dive into the intricacies of hope from a neurobiological, relational, and spiritual perspective. It's a must listen for anyone going through hard times. Here's what we unpack in our conversation: * What's happening inside our brains when we hope? (11:59) * Steps you can take in daily life to foster hope (17:55) * The link between hope and secure attachment (15:35) * How we embody and become hope for one another (21:04) * Reimagining hope in today’s world (22:41) Check out Curt's new book The Deepest Place. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Visit seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever struggled to feel like you belong, this episode is for you. I’ve struggled with belonging for decades. I couldn't understand how other people seemed to find large groups of friends. But I’ve figure out how to belong on my own terms. And, paradoxically, I realized—that’s exactly what belonging is. Today’s episode is personal, hopeful, and practical. Here's what we cover: 1. The myth of belonging (9:08) 2. The 2 roads to isolation (5:36) 3. What about social anxiety? (9:50) 4. The surprising path to belonging (20:19) 5. 3 easy steps you can take TODAY (29:50) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episode: Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support. Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all feel defeated by the challenges we face from time to time. I have talked with so many people recently who are facing what feels like impossible mountains to climb. I recorded today's episode as a result of these conversations—I wanted to encourage you personally as you face what's hard in front of you. Here's what we cover: 1. The phrase I lean on for resilience (6:58) 2. The 2 pitfalls that tempt us when we face challenges (15:06) 3. Scripts for parenting yourself through a hard time (19:51) 4. How to develop mental & emotional strength (23:07) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. To start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life visit nutrisense.com/bestofyou and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we’re talking allll about therapy. I've gathered up the big questions people ask and we're tackling them head-on. Remember, therapy isn't just for crises—it's for clarity, growth, and understanding. So if you’re curious about the process or wondered how in the world to get started, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover: 1. The most important predictor of success in therapy (18:36) 2. Different types of therapy (29:33) 3. How to find a therapist (12:35) 4. Breaking up with a therapist (42:42) 5. My top tips for finding affordable therapy (12:59) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready to level up your emotional intelligence! In this week's episode, we're diving deep into the heart of emotional intelligence, revealing why it's an absolute game-changer. We'll break it all down: 1. Fascinating research on emotional intelligence (21:07) 2. 3 powerful strategies for mastering your emotions (30:01) 3. 5 ways to express your emotions effectively (33:24) 4. My all-time favorite technique for nurturing empathy (34:37) 5. 2 unexpected gems of emotional intelligence in the Bible (42:18) 6. A powerful real-life story of emotional intelligence in the fiery furnace of marriage (45:45) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to Coffee with Kailey Podcast at https://tinyurl.com/CoffeeWithKaileyPodcast Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are all creating the future version of ourselves every single day. We're either moving toward wholeness—or we're moving toward fragmentation. In this brand-new September series, I'm walking you through the most important steps you can take to cultivate resilience, embrace authenticity, and nurture intimacy. Today's episode kicks us off with an overview of the key challenges we all face throughout the course of our lives. Here's what you’ll learn: 1. The 8 challenges we face from childhood to old age 2. The #1 challenge most of us are still working to resolve 3. Why identity precedes intimacy 4. A proven exercise to help you become your ideal self Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I absolutely loved this conversation with Alli Worthington. We get so real about the toxic traps all around and how to stay sane as a parent. From "parenting book trauma" to bad advice about friendships, we’ve got you covered. You'll learn practical tips & fascinating research from Alli's new book, Remaining You While Raising Them. Alli’s a business owner, podcast host, and the mom of 6 kids. Here’s what we cover: 1. The #1 source of mom guilt 2. The most important question to ask yourself each day 3. How parenting failures actually help kids 4. The surprising research on which relationships are happiest 5. Which friends to keep, and which ones to release Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Sleep deeply and wake gently with Hatch Restore - go to hatch.co/bestofyou to get $20 off and free shipping! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is straight up 🔥🔥🔥. I got to know Cindy Gao last year, when she reached out to me about an internship. As a student at Harvard College, she experienced a crisis of meaning and found her way to faith—and—to emotional healing. I have loved getting to know Cindy, and I know you are going to love her too. This episode is raw and inspiring. It’s packed with insight into faith, mental health, and Gen Z. Here’s what we cover: 1. The phrase Cindy Googled in a moment of desperation & what she found 2. What to do—and not do—when a young person expresses interest in faith 3. Why emotional healing & faith cannot be separated 4. The core belief that almost kept Cindy from faith 5. The challenges & longings of Gen Z Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am thrilled to be back this week, diving into an incredible conversation with beloved therapist, Sissy Goff! We're tackling the topic of anxiety and its ripple effect on our kids and on our parenting styles. With 30 years of experience guiding kids and parents, Sissy brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. Plus, she's sharing tips from her latest book, The Worry Free Parent. We cover so much in this episode, including: 1. A parent’s most important job 2. Why we are seeing more anxiety in kids & parents 3. 5 parenting traps 4. Your parenting superpower 5. Sissy’s moment of hope in the Covenant School shooting aftermath Connect with Sissy on Instagram or at raisingboysandgirls.com Pre-order The Worry Free Parent by Sissy Goff and get a free bonus chapter Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive 20% off plus free shipping. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Research shows that many men are struggling and not sure how to get support. So I asked our friends from the Dadville podcast to come on and talk about how to encourage the guys in your life! What a joy to host this insightful and fun duo! Jon McLaughlin and Dave Barnes are best known for their careers as musicians and song writers, but on theiroff-time, they encourage and inspire us on their popular parenting podcast, Dadville. You’ll find so much wisdom in this conversation, including: 1. How to find joy in the dream vs. the destination 2. Guys and vulnerability 3. The true goal of parenting 4. Why we all have to face our own blind spots 5. A beautiful picture of letting go of control with our kids Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 32: Productivity and the Never Ending To Do List: How to Stop Hustling & Embrace the Joy of Enough Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier Therapy Adjacent Series: Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Episode 64: Women’s Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body’s Changes Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee so if you don’t like it just send it back for a refund, minus shipping. If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is an absolute must-listen! If you're a woman journeying through your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, or if you're parenting a daughter, you don't want to miss this conversation. We dive into women's health, including menopause, perimenopause, hormone shifts, reproductive health, and ways to empower young women and girls. Dr. Leslie Appiah is a nationally-acclaimed OB/GYN who has helped women and girls for decades. Her practical and insightful approach is such a needed voice for all women. Here’s some of what we cover: 1. The impact of hormones on mental health 2. How to get relief for perimenopause and menopause symptoms 3. When to consider an anti-depressant 4. Why your physician might not have a clue 5. How to find one who will! 6. How to empower your daughters to live free of body shame Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison or Dr. Appiah?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email you’ll get a unique discount code just for you or bundle and save for back to school. This should be your go to brand for your family. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to GreenPan.us and use promo code BESTOFYOU and you’ll receive 30% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER plus free shipping on orders over $99. Go to Reliefband.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU for 20% off plus free shipping. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine if someone sat with you and listened to you attentively for as long as you needed. That’s what I experienced through a series of spiritual listening retreats. And today, I invited the Rev. Dr. Stephen Macchia and spiritual director in training, Rowena Day to talk with us about the practice of spiritual direction and deep listening as one component of your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. This episode is so rich, so soothing, and so deeply nourishing. As a therapist, I have found spiritual direction to be a powerful part of my own mental health practices. It’s also taught me how to become a better listener in my relationships with others. Here’s what we discuss: 1. The deepest need we all have 2. How to attune to your own soul 3. The neurobiology of presence 4. What to do if quiet is hard for you 5. The links between spiritual and mental health Connect with Dr. Stephen Macchia and Spiritual Formation resources here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Related Episodes: Episode 31 and Episode 44 with Rowena Day Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. If you've been searching for a better alternative to traditional healthcare and want to take your health to new heights, visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're trying something new! We've gathered up your most-asked questions about friendship and discuss them on the podcast. These are such thoughtful and real questions, and I love thinking through them with you. Here's what we cover: 1. The mother wound and female friendships 2. Managing expectations through your own healing season 3. Assessing trust in a new friend 4. Navigating a terminal diagnosis with friends 5. What about helping others who can't reciprocate friendship? For communication scripts check out, ⁠⁠check out The Best of You⁠⁠. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Overcome People Pleasing, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 61: Reconnecting With Old Friends—Healing the Past, Naming Regret & Bringing Your Whole Self into the Future Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to www.simplemodern.com/bestofyou and by sharing your email, you’ll get a unique discount code just for you. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is so special! I sit down with my 3 childhood friends, including my older sister, as we describe what happens when you bring your past self into your present. We were close all through high school, but life took us on different paths, to different cities, and through different experiences of faith, marriage, and family life. Over 2 decades later, we reconvened and replayed the tape of our lives—each one of us bearing witness to the other. Today, we share with you what we discovered about the power of reclaiming your past. I pray this episode sparks your imagination and ignites your desire as you consider pulling in old and new friends as companions on your journey toward wholeness. Here's what we cover: 1. Why 4 childhood friends reconnected to each other—and our past selves 2. How diverse perspectives strengthened, not divided, our rekindled friendships 3. Confronting & overcoming regret 4. How revisiting my sister’s teen pregnancy became a catalyst for healing 5. What we'd each say to our younger selves now. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Overcome People Pleasing, Identify Red and Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making new friends is hard as an adult! We’ve been hurt. We’ve changed and outgrown old ways. So how do we find new friends? And how do we learn to trust after trust has been broken? Today, I’m joined by 2 of my new friends, Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson, as we discuss how to overcome past hurts and brave the work of finding new friends. This episode is packed with practical tips, and I was so touched by the raw emotion that surfaced at the end as we each reflect on our own experiences. Here’s what we cover: 1. Friendship red flags 2. Green flags that indicate safety 3. The impact of trauma on friendships 4. Breaking free from people pleasing 5. How to “break up” with a potential friend 6. Is friendship about quality or quantity? Connect with Aundi Kolber and Dr. Monique Gadson Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions about friendship for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: ⁠Episode 14⁠: The Fawn Response and the Hidden Root of People Pleasing Episode 33 with Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 59: Finding Your People, Overcoming Past Hurt, & Deepening Friendships Through Intentional Community with Jennie Allen Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I loved this beautiful and honest conversation about friendship with Jennie Allen, bestselling author of Find Your People and founder of IF:Gathering. She shares candidly about a painful season where she felt alone and how she’s learned to lean into deep community, even when it's messy. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like it’s hard to trust other people, please listen to this episode. There are so many gems in it, including: 1. Our greatest fear in friendship 2. How to say “that hurt” to a friend 3. What prompted Jennie to close off to friendship for a season 4. How she found her way into trusting relationships again 5. The healing power of knowing others & being known by them Order Find Your People here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring out the Best of You, Why it Matters, and How a Good Friend Can Transform Your Life with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm so excited to announce our brand-new series, "Friends on Friendships"! Join us over the next 5 weeks as we learn together how to forge transformative, healing, and life-giving friendships. We are kicking things off with an incredible conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, Amy Cella, and Pepper Sweeney, who are real life friends and hosts of The Being Known Podcast. We laughed so much during this episode, and at least 2 of us also cried 🙈 . You don't want to miss all the gems about friendship throughout this conversation. Here’s what we cover: 1. Why friendship is a risk worth taking 2. The most important ingredient for safe friendships 3. The physics of “taking your friends with you” (even when they can't be with you). 4. Laughter as a form of intimacy 5. Why 3 is most definitely not a crowd 6. Glimmers vs. Triggers Check out Curt’s brand new book The Deepest Place! Learn more about Confessional Communities ⁠here⁠. Do you have questions about this series for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here⁠. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Wild Health has opened 10 spots in their Premium Program for BEST OF YOU listeners. Visit www.WildHealth.com/Premium to apply for membership. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phew! Today’s episode gets fiery 🔥🔥🔥! Many of us were taught to “turn the other cheek” as a call to be a doormat or to naively “love someone” into change. In today's episode, I’m not holding back as I paint a picture of what I think the Bible really teaches about standing firm against toxicity. You'll discover a completely different picture of what it means to turn the other cheek. Here's what we cover: 1. What "turn the other cheek" really means 2. What the Bible has to say about toxic behavior 3. Why it doesn’t work to “love people” into change 4. Examples of toxicity & how to protect yourself 5. How to be shrewd when dealing with gossip, cruelty or manipulation Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Misconstrued Messages and How to Disentangle From Them Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Series What Does the Bible Really Say Youtube Series Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re hitting hard today on this question “Am I really supposed to die to myself?” So many have been encouraged to misapply the message of self-denial in ways that are not healthy. So what does the Bible really say about it? Here’s what we cover: 1. What "deny yourself" really means 2. 3 different types of people 3. A surprising invitation 4. A practical exercise to apply to your own life 5. Your Questions: Healed vs. Saved Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself? Why Trusting Yourself is Necessary to Establishing Healthy Relationships With Other People Youtube Series: What Does the Bible Really Say Boundaries for Your Soul Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're talking all about self-trust—how we develop it, and why it's so crucial to the health of our relationships with other people. We also talk about how trusting God is a process that develops in the context of healthy relationships. Here's what we cover: 1. The surprising foundation for trust 2. The role of attachment 3. 3 relationships that contribute to trust 4. What to do if you are too trusting of others 5. A first step toward building self-trust Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode ⁠here⁠. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ ⁠Leave them here.⁠ Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email ⁠here. Related Episodes: Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? A Surprising Approach to the Anxiety Pandemic & How to Walk Yourself & Your Kids Through It Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful? Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to Wear We Are! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Visit christiankitchenscoffee.com and use code bestofyou for a 10% discount on your first order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s conversation is pure fire! We're talking all things anxiety with Curtis Chang, author of a brand new book, The Anxiety Opportunity. This is such a fresh take on anxiety, unlike anything you’ve heard at church or in the secular culture. We also touch on the problem of how most of us have been taught to view heaven, and how recasting that vision has everything to do with anxiety. If you’ve struggled with anxiety or if you have kids who struggle with anxiety, please do not miss this episode. Here’s what we cover: 1. The problem with the “prayer” or “pill” approach to anxiety 2. The anxiety pandemic 3. The most important thing we can do to help our anxious kids 4. Did Jesus experience anxiety? 5. Curtis’s experience with crippling anxiety 6. The surprising discovery he made in therapy 7. Why heaven is not what you think it is & how that changes everything Pick up your copy of The Anxiety Opportunity here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU to get 20% at checkout. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are talking all about finding our strengths today with my friend, Laura Cootsona, an accomplished coach, consultant, and non-profit executive. She walks us through StrengthsFinder, a tool that helps you identify and lean into your strengths and uncover the strengths of others. Research shows that leaning into your strengths at work and in life is absolutely life-changing. Here’s what we cover: 1. How to identify strengths to unleash your potential 2. The link between strengths and enjoying your work 3. Understanding the downside of your strong points 4. How to team up with other strengths 5. How to build a strength-based family Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Other episodes in this series: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a rich conversation with Enneacast hosts Jesse Eubanks and Lindsey Lewis about the 9 types of the Enneagram! We talk everything from mistyping women to Jesus, Kevin Hart, and the Apostle Paul. This is a great episode to share with your family, small group, and friends—it's an opportunity for honest conversations about your areas of brilliance. . .and the blind spots we all have. Here’s what we cover: 1. The 9 different types 2. Your Enneagram number as one part of who you are 3. The Enneagram and narcissism 4. Why celebration is a discipline we all need to practice 5. How to love types that trigger us 6. The difference between comfort and shalom 7. What type was Jesus? Paul? Peter? Tom Brady? Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Episode 50: 9 Types of Intelligence, the Trap of Comparison, and How to Connect More Authentically with God Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Boundaries for Your Soul Series Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Please visit christianapp.org/mentalhealthtsf to donate today! Go to fuller.edu/bestofyou to learn more about Fuller’s MS in Marriage and Family Therapy program. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you catastrophize? struggle with taking a compliment? Are you a mind reader? A minimizer? Or do you tend to take things personally? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you do not want to miss today's episode. We're discussing 12 common thinking traps, what psychologists call cognitive distortions. These are ways of thinking that trip up every single one of us. The messages you tell yourself have a direct impact on the health of your relationships, so this is a great one to share with your family or friends. Here's what we cover: 1. 12 common thinking traps 2. How to avoid toxic shame spirals 3. The problem with mind reading 4. How to stop taking things personally 5. The trap of emotional reasoning 6. Why we all need to learn how to take a compliment Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Check out Nuts.com/bestofyou. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're digging into intelligence. And believe me, it's not what you were taught! If you've struggled with comparing yourself to others, feeling inadequate, or unsure of your unique gifts (and that's pretty much all of us), you don't want to miss this episode! Here's what we cover: 1. What is intelligence? 2. Why it's different than what you were taught 3. 9 different types of intelligence 4. 2 toxic consequences of comparing ourselves to others 5. 9 ways to connect with God Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week marks the launch of our brand new series, My Favorite Psychology Tools, and we're kicking things off with a deep dive into the fascinating world of personality types. With so many fads and trends out there, it can be hard to know what's actually backed by research. That's why we're here to separate fact from fiction and give you the inside scoop on what personality really is and what the latest research tells us about it. Here's what we cover: 1. What is personality and why we're so fascinated with it 2. The benefits and pitfalls in personality tests 3. The 5 most researched personality traits 4. The mysterious H Factor and why it's so important 5. How personality traits show up in the Bible Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. See also Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Thanks to our sponsors:     Go to ⁠⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ ⁠today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Aundi Kolber's new book, ⁠Strong Like Water⁠ today! Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gosh, it can be hard to live in a body, let alone learn to love it. We have so many demands that compete for our attention, not to mention all the mixed up messages we get as women—how in the world are we supposed to honor these bodies God has given us? In today's episode, we're honoring these long-suffering bodies of ours. Here's what we cover: 1. Why so many of us bypass the body 2. 4 insights from psychology about the body 3. 3 ancient heresies that sneak into our modern thinking 4. The difference between what the Bible calls "flesh" and "body" 5. How to honor your body as part of spiritual practice 6. Why I am learning to dance again (but definitely not in public) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related episodes: Episode 11: How to Start Loving Your Body with Christy Joy Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Episode 45: Strong like Water—Finding the Freedom, Safety, & Compassion to Move through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing with Aundi Kolber Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Thanks to our sponsors:     This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water today! Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast, we're kicking off a mini 2-episode series on loving our bodies as a spiritual practice. Today, I dig into the problem of over-spiritualizing and how that does harm to ourselves and to others. Here's what we cover: 1. What is spiritual bypassing? 2. Does every problem have a spiritual solution? 3. How we spiritually bypass ourselves 4. How not to be a "friend of Job" 5. The antidote to spiritual bypassing 6. An example of spiritual bypassing from the Bible Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related episodes: Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Thanks to our sponsors:     Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phew! Buckle up. Part 2 of my conversation with Aundi Kolber is out today, and it is absolute 🔥🔥🔥! We set aside the script and got real about our own experiences , including. . . 1. How people pleasing becomes a survival response 2. The shame we feel when we start to change 3. Alison's unexpected experience of comfort in a crisis 4. Jesus and the Nervous System 5. Did Jesus ever get "activated"? 6. The problem with toxic positivity & spiritual bypassing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Check out Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water anywhere books are sold! Listen to Part 1 of our conversation: Episode 45 More about the Fawn Response: Episode 14 More about Trauma: Episode 4 Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email. Thanks to our sponsors:     Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.  Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What an honor to have my friend and fellow therapist, Aundi Kolber on the podcast today! You do not want to miss Part 1 of our two-part  conversation on her brand new book, Strong like Water: Finding the  Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and Experience True Flourishing Aundi and I connected through social media, and she has become the dearest real life friend. It was my  absolute honor to have this conversation with her about her personal  story and her new book, Strong Like Water, available for pre-order now.  Here's what we cover. . . 1. Why it's unsustainable to always be  the "strong one"   2. The brave decision that led to her to reimagine strength 3. 3 different types of strength and how to move between them 4. How to find safety when you need it the most 5. The difference between information and whole body transformation 6. How Aundi has come to understand strength now Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Want free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Related Episodes: Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is all about anger. It's an emotion that can do great harm and one that also has great benefits.   Whether you thrive on anger or try your best to bury it, one thing's for sure—we all have to reckon with it. When you learn to work with your anger, it can become a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of the people you love. Today, my friend Rowena Day (see Episode 31) returns to the podcast as we discuss how we've learned to create space for healthy anger in our lives. Here's what we cover:   1. Practical strategies to befriend and build trust with anger  2. The guilt and fear we feel about having anger  3. How to manage anger while parenting 4.  Examples of speaking on behalf of anger vs. from it 5. The problem with comparing our pain to the pain of others 6. Jesus and anger Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:     This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.  Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I am joined by my friend and co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, Kimberly Miller, to discuss the almighty inner critic, how to get space from it, and how to bring this work into your relationships. Kim describes how she first encountered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how combining it with Christian faith and practice changed her life. We discuss: 1. How Kim finally healed the ache in her heart 2. The most ubiquitous part of the soul 3. Why self-acceptance is better than self-condemnation 4. How to differentiate from painful emotions 5. A real-time exercise for quieting your inner critic 6. How this work translates into marriage Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Connect with Kimberly Miller at kimberlyjunemiller.com or on Insight Timer Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.  Other Episodes in this Series: Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any   of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling   advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The  content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational  purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You need your pain. Grief makes you real, and disappointment can inspire creativity, change, and growth.  Sadness brings texture to the joys we experience. And yet, it's also not wise to let sadness take us over. In today's episode, we discuss how to set healthy boundaries with emotions like sadness and loneliness.  Here's what we cover: —The surprising benefits of sadness —3 types of grief —The science of tears and how they help us —What loneliness needs to heal —Childhood play and how it informs your adult dreams —What to do when you just don't have the time for the pain Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to The Snack Show - https://tinyurl.com/TheSnackShowPodcast Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many of us live at war with ourselves. We hate our anxiety or battle with fear. We beat ourselves up or try to get rid of these parts of us. But this approach only makes things worse.  One of the most surprising ways to calm your anxiety is to stop waging war against it. In today's episode we discuss how to honor your fear and soothe your anxiety so that you are in charge of them, not the other way around. Here's what we cover: 1. A picture of healthy internal boundaries 2. How anxiety tries to protect us 3. The surprising truth about fear 4. How to establish healthy boundaries with both fear and anxiety  5. Fear and the Bible 6. 5 Steps to work through fear and anxiety Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:     Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.    Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik     While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like a part of your soul is trapped in the past, holding you back from fully embracing the present and moving forward? Pain, fear, worry, or even bitterness can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. This is a common experience for all of us at times. In today's episode, I guide you through a 5 step process of healing and growth. We'll discuss how to mend the parts of your soul that are causing you distress. Here's what we cover:   1. 5 Steps to healing painful emotions  2. How to overcome criticism, shame, and judgment  3. 4 Questions to grow in self-discovery  4. A surprising way to pray throughout the day  5. Why parts of us struggle to experience God's love Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Remember, this journey is a process, not a one-time event. With the right tools and guidance, you can learn to make peace with the parts of yourself. Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors:     This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp-- Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!     Organifi- Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Brooklinen-- Go to Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save! Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all need a map to our soul. A way to understand the emotions, the wounds, the areas that feel broken.   That's what I love about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy—it provides a map that everybody can incorporate into their daily spiritual practice.   It's your guide to navigating overwhelming thoughts and feelings.   Today on the podcast, I'm walking you through this map, including the following:    1. A picture of wholeness   2.  The cost of not tending your inner life   3. A map of the parts of your soul   4. The 3 types of parts we all have   5. How Jesus relates to each part 6. What it means to have healthy boundaries inside your soul Get your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, I'm talking with my friend and teaching pastor at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Alli Patterson, about her new book, How to Stay Standing.  In this powerful and practical episode, Alli shares her own story of hitting rock bottom when the scaffolding of her life collapsed, and how she rebuilt the foundation from the ground up. We discuss the following: 1. How tiny decisions can lead us toward devastating realities 2. What kept Alli from making eye contact for over 6 months 3. How shame sneaks in, even when you know you’ve been forgiven by God 4. The power of telling your story in safe places 5. 3 practical ways to build a strong foundation 6. How to take risks on God Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Hiya Health— Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing how to detox from the false beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to other people.  These hidden messages are sneaky. They might sound true in the moment, but they keep us from the healthy two-way relationships we need. Here's what we discuss: 1. Examples of toxic thinking 2. How it contaminates our relationships 3. An example of toxic thinking from the Bible 4. How to re-frame toxic thoughts Plus, I answer your questions: —How do I communicate with other people about what I'm going through?  —Can spiritual bypassing become a form of numbing? Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Resources in this episode: For more on The 7 Red Flags of Friendship and Spiritual Bypassing, see Chapters 8 and 10 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 35: Change is Hard–Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a real-time update on my own social media detox and how what started as a pause revealed a deeper need. I also lay out a practical framework for you to use in identifying the distractions, numbing, or unhealthy coping tactics in your life and how to replace them with the life-giving, soul-nourishing things you actually crave. We cover: 1. What my own detox revealed about my use of social media 2. A roadmap for how to pinpoint areas in your own life that might need a detox 3. Healthy ways to escape, soothe, or find comfort 4. What is the difference between a fast and a detox?  5. Can I find a healthy balance with certain "distractions"? Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Brooklinen—Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Also in this series: Episode 35: Change is Hard–Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time For more on how to "Start with Yes" see Chapter 6 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're digging into the hidden dependencies that creep in and keep us from the good things we need. The New Year tends to be a time of hope. We sense the possibility of change and are energized to set goals. But so often we move forward without first addressing the hidden dependencies that thwart our best efforts.  Here's what we discuss in today's episode: 1. Why we all need to “detox” from time to time 2. Examples of “good things” we can start to depend on in unhealthy ways  3. The role of pleasure, comfort, and healthy escape 4. The essential question to ask yourself before you consider introducing any change  5. What I learned by going offline for 6 weeks  Thanks to our sponsors:   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Sign up for The Best of You Book Club launching January 9th. Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This New Year, I'm trying something new: I'm going to respond to your questions as we move through a series. Check out Episode 3: What Is Self-Love And Should I Really Love Myself? for the MEPS exercise referenced in this trailer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many of us have had negative experiences with power. It feels like something to fear, something bad, or something to avoid all together. But what if God wants us to step into our power in a healthy way? And what if understanding the power we have is at the core of building healthy connections with other people?   Today's episode is straight from my heart and from my own tenuous relationship with power. Here's what I cover:   1. What is power? 2. Why we think of power as bad 3. What healthy power looks like  4. The problems that arise when we do not claim our own power  5. Different ways power is abused 6. Why women in particular tend to avoid their own power  7. The paradigm-shattering example of power in the birth of Jesus Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Sign up for my free weekly email here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.    Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  Learn more about 6 Painful Parenting Patterns and 7 Friendship Red Flags in The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook To learn more about the parts of your soul, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Power - "the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events." (Oxford Language Dictionaries) Podcast episodes referenced: Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Scriptures referenced: * Philippians 2:1-11 * Matthew 7:6 While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Were you subtly conditioned to please others at the expense of yourself? I loved talking with my friend and fellow therapist, Dr. Monique Gadson, on today's episode of the podcast. We met through an IG Live prayer session! She's since become the best sort of real-life friend—someone whose wisdom, empathy, and realness breathes life into weary souls. If you've struggled with depression or felt overlooked—even as you constantly show up for others—please lean in close. Dr. Monique is candid about her own journey through depression and how she lost herself in all the voices around her. In a powerful turn of events, Monique began to bring mental health directly to the center of the church, where she's practiced as a counselor for decades.  We cover so much in today's episode, including: 1. A key moment from childhood when she learned to please others 2. Monique’s experience as a PK 3. The burden of always attuning to others when you're disconnected from your own self 4. Monique’s early experience with depression and how she got help 5. Practical tips if you struggle with feeling “joy” at the holidays 6. Finding your own way as a parent amidst all of the voices 7. Monique's call to bring mental health *into* the church 8. Jesus and people pleasing 9. The power of friendship to bring hope in dark places Check out Dr. Monique's brand new book with Clarence Shuler, Finding Hope in A Dark Place: Facing Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety with the Power of Grace. Connect with Dr. Monique at drmoniquesmithgadson.com or on Instagram @drmoniquesmithgadson If you are struggling with depression, please find resources for support on my website. Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you that person who gets the job done, no matter the cost to yourself? You're productive, you bring the results. But sometimes you don't realize how exhausted you are—you just know there's still work to be done. If your inner task manager tends to take you (or someone you love) over, do not miss this episode with my friend and fellow therapist, Rebecca Ching. It's all about the blessing and the cost of being a highly productive, can-do person. Rebeca speaks candidly about managing childhood trauma through becoming extremely productive—a survival skill she took with her deep into her adult life. You'll also hear more about our friendship, including the opposite ways we operate in order to protect ourselves. 1. The moment Rebecca, as a young girl, walked out on a family therapy session 2. The story of being mugged together in our early 20’s 3. How to re-org your inner circle to protect the health of your family 4. The shaming voice that surfaces when you give yourself permission to down-shift 5. The problem with the word “busy” 6. Key questions to ask in order to simplify your life. 7. Surprising ways you can start to rest & play 8. How faith messages can intensify productivity in not-so helpful ways Connect with Rebecca at The Unburdened Leader Podcast or www.rebeccaching.com Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to Organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Check out the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast at raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast.  Learn more about Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn Responses and The 7 P's of Managing Perceptions in my new book, The Best of You To learn more about Unburdening and the Internal Family Systems model, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Rebecca mentions The Daring Way certification program with Brené Brown Verses referenced: Mark 1:11 “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You want to keep the peace at all costs. The problem is sometimes anger is warranted. Sometimes conflict is needed. What do you do when everything in you does not want to be the one to speak up? On today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Rowena Day. This is a powerful conversation for anyone who has struggled with conflict, avoided anger, or stayed quiet to get along. The second half of this episode is a WHOLE WORD. Listen in for deep wisdom on how to come out of that protective peacekeeping shell and start using your voice. Do not miss the end, when Rowena describes what she’s learning about finding her voice from parenting 4 young children. And check out the shownotes on my website where we have listed all of the amazing books, videos, music, and devotionals mentioned in this episode! Here’s what we touch on: 1. Why it’s normal to talk to yourself and how to pay attention to that inner dialogue  2. The power of attunement—and why interrupting and fixing each other doesn’t work  3. Why we learn to mute our voices  4. The power of generational messages 5. Why we push anger aside, especially as women  6. Why it’s important for peacekeepers to make friends with anger  7. Rowena’s experience of speaking up about toxic behavior she was witnessing  8. Blame shifting and scapegoating in faith communities  9. Embracing the wildness of your soul  10. The double bind culture puts women in when it comes to using your voice   11. What we can learn from our children Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode of The Best of You Podcast is in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, and the holiday season in general. If you're dealing with a mixture of emotions today, this episode is for you. Holidays are complicated, and in today’s episode, I walk you through how to honor what’s hard, even as you give thanks for what’s good.  We'll discuss:   1. Why it's normal for mixed emotions to show up on a holiday  2. How old ways of managing kick in—and leave us exhausted 3. How to take brave steps to honor vs. manage hard emotions  4. The myth of the perfect family, the perfect holiday, or the perfect experience of gratitude  5. What we can learn from 5 characters in my favorite children's book Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Find a full transcript of the episode and a list of resources mentioned here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

OK, buckle up, today's conversation on The Best of You podcast goes deep, and we both get really honest about own struggles. I could have talked with Mary for hours about how to get off the treadmill of perfecting and proving your worth—and start claiming the life you actually want. You do not want to miss the end where we get into social media, the curse of comparison, and the approval chain from which no one is immune. We touch on so much in this episode including: 1. The hidden fears that drive us to perfect and prove our way into belonging 2. If we let go of working to earn the approval of others, then what?  3. The moment Mary discovered that chasing gold stars was not leading her to what she actually wanted 4. The pitfalls and perils of social media 5.  How to get out of comparison traps 6.  The voice in our heads that keeps us running in circles 7.  The real mark of emotional health (and it’s *not* never failing or never feeling hurt) 8. 3 questions to ask yourself as you stop chasing approval Connect with Mary at www.marymarantz.com/quiz Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of The Best of You podcast, I’m talking with the wonderful and wise Toni Collier who shares bravely about finding herself stuck in the performance trap, and how she clawed her way out. Toni's capability & high capacity helped her survive, but she also wound up exhausted, broken, and numbing. As Toni says, “I had a source, which is God, but the resources I did not have.” And she had to learn to discover a more authentic, wholehearted way. Here's what we discuss: 1.  How capability, strength, and achievement can turn into survival strategies 2. Why we turn toward numbing as a way to cope with pain 3. What finally drove her to get help  4. How she started to find healthy relationships and find her way out of the pain 5. Practical ways she keeps the performer part of her in check now 6. What she would say to her young performer's heart now (Be ready for some tears on this one. . .) Check out Toni’s new book, Brave Enough to be Broken anywhere books are sold. Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re kicking off a new series on The Best of You Podcast as we move into the last 2 months of the year. How do you shift from managing the perceptions of others to showing up more authentically? In today’s episode, I cover the 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions and why it doesn’t get us the real connections we crave. I also walk you through an exercise you can do NOW (as in, before the holiday haze sets in) to help you make brave decisions this holiday season. Here’s what we cover: 1. What does it mean to manage perceptions and why do we do it? 2. The 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions 3. The 2 main problems with managing perceptions 4. Why we have to “retrain” people (& their expectations of us) 5. Examples of steps you can take to honor yourself & your relationships 6. How to create your own “Yes/No List” to help you make brave decisions 7. The courage it takes to say ‘no’ and how to honor the emotions that inevitably show up when you do Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into how to say No to toxic behaviors—including practical strategies, scripts, and misconstrued bible passages. There’s no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. A strategy that might work in a healthy releationship won't work with toxicity. It's important to understand the difference. This is a packed episode. Here’s what we discuss: 1. Why toxic behaviors require an entirely different type of "no"  2. An overview of toxic behaviors   3. Extreme toxicity and when to cut off a relationship all together  4. 5 steps to implement a boundary with toxic behavior  5. 3 scripts for 3 different situations  6. What about turning the other cheek?  7. How to form a boundaries committee Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Chosen—Check out Season 3 in theaters starting November 18th. For more information, visit TheChosenTickets.com. Get a print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week and next week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into 3 types of "No"—including practical strategies, and scripts, for how to say No in different situations.  First up is how to say no in healthy relationships. This episode is for you if you struggle to set a boundary, state a preference, or honor your own limits **even with people you know would respect you if you did.** It's hard to disappoint people. It's hard to assert honest needs, wants, and preferences when you've been conditioned to please others, fawn, or always put others first. So today we're focusing on how to exercise your "no muscle" even with people you love. Here's what we discuss: 1. Why learning to say “no” is vital for the the ongoing health of your relationships 2. 5 steps to develop your “no” muscle  3. Why criticism is tempting and how to avoid it 4. How to use “I statements” (and when not to) 5. Scripts for 3 different situations 6. What about when someone says no to you? 7. The hardest category of No I think we all have to face Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re diving into how to discern toxic vs. healthy patterns of behavior. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. It requires discernment and wisdom; strategy and skill. I discuss what I call the Spectrum of Toxicity and the topic of evil (a topic so many of you have asked me about!) Here’s what we cover: 1. What is toxicity? How does it relate to what the Bible calls evil?  2. What about people who are consistently choosing to do harm?  3. The spectrum of toxicity  4. Behaviors that show up on the healthy side of the spectrum  5. Behaviors that show up on the toxic side of the spectrum  6. The key ingredient that distinguishes health from toxicity  7. The best way to become a discerning, wise (& healthier) person.  8. What does the Bible say about toxicity? Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, we're diving into this question I keep bumping up against: Am I wounded or am I a sinner? On one hand we go to church, and we’re told you're sinful; you need to repent, you need to die to yourself. On the other hand, we go to therapy, and we're told you're wounded; you've had trauma. You need to heal, so you can become more of your true self. So which one is it? In today's podcast episode, we discuss: 1. What is woundedness and how does it impact our behaviors?  2. What is sin?  3. The problem of shame  4. What about "the other side of sin" - the wounds of the sinned against?  5. What about repentance?  6. An application from the Bible  7. A next step you can take Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s podcast we’re talking all about building trust with yourself. This *internal* work is so important to the work of setting healthy external boundaries. I share with you an example from my own life and walk you through a process of connecting more deeply to what’s actually happening inside of you. As you connect more deeply to yourself, the boundaries you set with others will flow from a calmer, clearer place within. Here’s what we cover: 1. A promise I made to myself and how it went  2. What to do when you’re activated by someone or something  3. The importance of understanding your own areas of wounding  4. What is a You-Turn?  5. Meeting & honoring the protective parts of you (before acting out of them)  6. How to get to the root of your own hurt (before taking action)  7. Learning to find your voice from that place of clarity deep within Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on The Best of You podcast, we're starting a new series on Boundaries and the Bible. And we're starting with what I call the Yes Side of No. So many of us struggle with setting external boundaries because we keep the focus on the other person. But the work of setting boundaries starts inside of you. In today's episode, I walk you through how to build to trust with yourself from the inside out. Here's what we cover: 1. Why I don’t believe boundaries start with No  2. Can I really learn to trust myself?  3. What about sin?  4. What is an internal (vs. external) locus of control and why does it matter?  5. Examples of promises you can make to parts of you carrying pain  6. Examples of promises you can make to your body  7. A challenge to you that we'll circle back to next week. Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes living at peace with other people, means living at peace with disappointing them. It’s incredibly important to balance your responsibility to other people with a deep sense of responsibility to your God-given self. It’s not only good for you. It’s good for other people.    Living at peace with yourself is a process of figuring out that balance. Here's what we cover in today's podcast episode: 1. How to make peace with yourself  2. Making friends with yourself  3. Living at peace with others  4. Facing your fear of disappointing other people  5. How Jesus disappointed people  6. How to disappoint people with integrity Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At the exact moment I began to bring The Best of You to life, I encountered a  trauma that would literally knock me off my feet, forcing me to test everything I hoped to write about. This week is the 2-year anniversary of that trauma. It’s unbelievable to me that this book is coming out next week on 9/13.    In today’s episode, I read this very personal story from the introduction of The Best of You, along with some added commentary. It’s a tender story. Thank you for holding it with me.   Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!  Preorder The Best of You and take advantage of all the bonus resources until midnight on 9/12.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about selfhood. Many of us have been taught that "self" is bad. But there’s a big difference between selfhood and selfishness. Furthermore being selfless is not always the right choice. Reclaiming a healthy sense of self is not opposed to faith. In fact, learning to honor yourself goes hand-in-hand with honoring the One who made you. I get personal this week, because this journey is deeply personal for me. We discuss: 1. My own story of loving God but not having a self  2. What is the difference between selfhood and selfishness?  3. Why is selfhood key to healthy relationships?  4. How selfhood is the missing first step to setting healthy boundaries  5. What does the bible have to say about selfhood?  6. Jesus’s example of selfhood Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s podcast episode is all about church hurt. A church is a family—at its best it’s a place to learn about God, a place to heal, and a place to give & receive in community. But just like any family, when leadership turns toxic the results are devastating. You have so many questions for me about the pain that comes at the hands of a church family. I enter into today’s episode with a spirit of reverence and a prayer for all who have been hurt in this way. 1. What is church hurt?  2. The problem with the term church hurt  3. Why anyone with power (pastors, leaders, parents, and yes, even therapists!) hold great responsibility  4. Examples of church hurt  5. 3 Red Flags for toxic church cultures  6. The problem with groupthink  7. How do I heal from church hurt? Key Point:  God doesn't force, control, or manipulate you. God meets you where you are tenderly, and He wants to restore the goodness in your life that was taken away from you by an abusive leader. Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s podcast episode is one of your top requests: it’s all about attachment. Be sure to listen to the end for my thoughts on how attachment wounds impact our human relationships and our experience of a loving God. Here’s what we discuss: 1. Why I think we’re not just one attachment style 2. What are 4 different attachment styles? 3. Can your attachment style change? 4. The key ingredient that creates attachment 5. How to create secure attachment with your own children 6. Why our attachment styles create confusion in our adult relationships 7. A picture of healthy attachment from a favorite old movie 8. My thoughts on God and attachment Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s podcast episode is packed. Phew! You wanted to talk CPTSD (or complex trauma) so that’s where we’re going, with a side note on trauma & faith communities and some thoughts on what it *really* means to find safety in other people. 1. What is CPTSD?  2. What are the symptoms of CPTSD?  3. How does it impact healthy self-trust & an experience of safety in other people?  4. Why I don’t believe you are a label  5. My thoughts on trauma and faith communities  6. 4 key ways to heal from CPTSD Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Preorder The Best of You Register for 5 Toxic Behaviors & How to Protect Yourself Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Psychology Buzzwords are back, only this time you picked the topics! This week we're focusing on the 4 Fear Responses, often called Survival Responses or Trauma Responses, with a special look at the Fawn Response. 1. What are 4 common fear responses?  2. What is the freeze response?  3. What is disassociation?  4. How are these responses helpful?  5. What is this Fawn Response?  6. What are the hidden fears underneath it? 7. Why doesn't talking myself out of a fear response work?  8. What *does* work to help me return to calm? Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at dralisoncook.com  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast, I’m answering 3 of your questions! All of these questions relate to dealing with our parents as adults: 1. How do you cope with an internal critical voice that came from a parent? 2. What is the next step after recognizing that my parents were narcissistic? 3. Am I disrespecting my parents when I set boundaries with them? I discuss: —What is an inner critic? —How do we retrain an internal critical voice? —What beliefs do we take in when raised by narcissistic parents? —What is trauma-informed therapy? —God’s heart for healing —Boundaries 101 principles as an adult with your parents Stay tuned for next week’s new series: Psychology Buzzwords Round 2 - Listener’s Choice Edition Find a list of resources for this episode here Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Divorce is so rarely discussed yet it touches all of us—whether you've gone through a divorce or love someone who has. That’s why I’m so grateful that Eryn Eddy bravely went there with me today. This is such an honest conversation about the pain of divorce—and the compounded pain that comes afterward. She speaks with nuance & humility about the loneliness of a distant marriage, and how discovering the secrets that led to that distance didn’t come out until after she’d shouldered most of the blame. She is upfront about owning her own stuff, even as she *finally* realized it was not her job to own his. Before we dive in, I want to highlight 2 points:   —If someone is telling you: “If you were more godly or if you were more loving, then HE wouldn’t do XYZ (porn, cheat, drink. . .)”  that’s called *blame shifting* and it’s toxic.   —If your spouse is narcissistic, couples therapy likely won’t work. And it could end up hurting you. (See this episode podcast page for resources.) Here’s what we discuss in this episode:   1. You can be loved well as a child and still bump up against toxicity in your adult relationships   2. How doing all the “right things” didn’t work.   3. How the pursuit of attention outside of marriage is often more subtle than we like to admit   4. Why loneliness or pain in marriage is so hard to talk about   5. How secrecy in marriage can lead to confusion and self-blame   6. How Eryn learned to “date herself” and find validation apart from men   7. Why it’s important to both own our mistakes *and* show compassion to ourselves for what we do when we are in pain   8. How she learned to trust a new therapist after a bad experience Connect with Eryn on Instagram @eryneddy or @soworthloving  www.eryneddy.com   www.soworthloving.com Find a list of resources for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you struggle with body image or how to make wise decisions on behalf of what you *actually* want out of your life, please do not miss this episode. Christy Meeks provides such grounded, thoughtful, and focused insight into how she overcame the pain of weaponizing her body and learned to work with her body as a beautiful and unique gift. She is a wife, a mom of 5 children, and a body image coach. 1. How one painful moment in childhood changed the way she viewed her body for decades  2. The way exercise can be both a weapon and a superpower  3. How to find ways to physicalize emotional pain, so that it flows through our bodies  4. The pain of miscarriage  5. Why she decided to leave social media  6. How to translate self-awareness to action, so that we’re living our lives with intention.  7. How true freedom comes from the inner conviction that you are living the life that is right for YOU. You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode here.  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast is a gold mine of rich, hopeful nuggets for anyone who has struggled to overcome limiting beliefs. My guest, Mary Marantz, is so gentle and thoughtful and wise as she reflects on the challenges of her childhood and the life she went on to create. It’s a beautiful tribute to the power of “both—and.”   We discuss these topics and more:   1. Different types of poverty  2. How the messages our parents give us and the desires of our own hearts can create painful inner conflict  3. The limiting beliefs we pick up without even realizing it—and how to break free from them  4. How to honor a parent while also disagreeing with them  5. The 10 scripts we all have to confront in our minds  6. The temptation—and the danger—of being the woman who always come through   Connect with Mary at www.marymarantz.com/quiz, or on Instagram @marymarantz   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This conversation is an absolute gift. Bianca is a powerhouse of wisdom who talks honestly about the hidden pain that both motivated her and almost got the best of her. She shares about the moment she passed out on her dorm room floor from carrying so much hidden pain—and how she began to face the fears that drove her.    You do not want to miss her encouragement for listeners with mother or father wounds and the commitment she made to herself to “die empty." We discuss these topics and more:   1. Will I struggle with feeling pain forever?  2. Why trying to “just be happy” doesn’t work.  3. How her first trip to counseling was a bust  4. How fear can motivate us in both positive and negative ways  5. The burdens of generational trauma that can add to our pain  6. The pressure she put on herself to heal so she wouldn’t pass on pain to her own children  7. How she learned to advocate for herself and “staffed” herself accordingly   Connect with Bianca at behindtheconfidentsmile.com or on  Instagram: @biancancotton & @behindtheconfidentsmile    You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are launching a new series on the podcast this week: Real People Overcoming Real Problems!  You do not want to miss this very first episode with author, speaker, podcaster, and new friend of mine, Ashley Abercrombie who shares with me her story of overcoming addiction and learning to ask for help.   Ashley speaks candidly about the pain in her life, how she tried to numb it, and the divide that nearly shattered her until she learned to ask for help. And do not miss the last part of this interview where Ashley talks about how she's been getting through a period of extended isolation and loneliness these past few years.   We discuss SO MUCH in this episode—here are just a few highlights:   1. The various big “T” and little “t” traumas that can lead to addiction and painful patterns of self-soothing.  2. Why carrying your pain silently doesn’t work.  3. How Ashley finally found healing in safe community  4. Why failure is our friend  5. How to be helpful (and what’s not helpful) to people who are struggling  6. The wisdom Ashley would give her 20-year-old self now.    Connect with Ashley on Instagram Ashley’s After Hours newsletter on Substack Books by Ashley: Rise of the Truth Teller: Own Your Story, Tell It Like It Is, and Live with Holy Gumption Love Is the Resistance: Learn to Disagree, Resolve the Conflicts You've Been Avoiding, and Create Real Change   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode, at https://www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The #1 question I get asked about is how to set boundaries.   They are so important and so powerful, and yet they are so hard to set.  We dive into the power of boundaries in this episode and I guide you through a real time exercise on taking that first step no matter what you are facing.   1. Why is it so hard to set boundaries?  2. What is the primary purpose of boundaries?  3. What 2 skills does boundary setting require?  4. What is the first step to setting boundaries?  5. What does the Bible have to say about boundaries?  6. An exercise to help you take a first step.   Key Take Away: Boundaries are not primarily about saying no to other people. Boundaries are first and foremost about safeguarding the heart, mind, soul, and body God has given you.   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is this “inner child” we see everywhere? Do I really have one? Is this just woo-woo psychology or is there science behind it? Why does it matter? We’ll get into all of this today, including the power of memory in shaping who you are.   Here’s what we’ll discuss:   1. What is an inner child and do I really have one?  2. Is there any science behind it?  3. What is an internal family?  4. Who is the wise parent inside of you?  5. What does the Bible have to say about our inner child?  6. A 10 minute guided reflection to help you connect to a young part of yourself.   Key Takeaway: Like a wise parent, we can learn to parent the young parts of us. We can bring them to Jesus who invited the children always to come to him—without shame or judgment.   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you get so consumed with the needs of others, that you lose sight of your own?  Do you struggle with focusing on caring for yourself?   There's no shame in codependency—I've struggled with it for years. And I believe nearly everyone struggles with it on some level. Learn the surprising antidote to codependency and how to take steps toward healthy dependence.   1. What is codependency?  2. What’s the difference between being kind and being codependent?  3. What are some examples of codependent behaviors?  4. 5 signs that you might have codependent tendencies.    5. 2 indicators you might be in a codependent relationship  6. 3 practical ways to move toward healthy dependence   Check out the Human Hope Podcast here  Key Takeaway: There’s a difference between being kind—and caring for someone else while causing harm to yourself.   Questions for reflection: What keeps you from noticing and focusing on your own needs?  Which of the 3 steps offered at the end of this episode can you take to move toward healthy dependence?   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trauma is a bigger player in our lives than you might think. It's the unacknowledged guest at every gathering of humans.  And if we could learn to understand it better, we'd create a kinder, more compassionate world.    In today's episode we discuss trauma:      1. What is trauma?      2. What are Big T and little T traumas?      3. How does trauma impact your relationship to yourself, others and God?      4. The shaming messages that often sneak in as a result of trauma      5. What does the Bible say about trauma and healing?      6. How do you begin to heal?   Questions to consider:  What if what happened wasn’t your fault?  What if you didn’t deserve that treatment?  What if there’s not something wrong with you?  What if you were created a beautiful soul made in God's image?  Is there any sliver of you that could believe that?  What if the heart of God is to heal?   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode, including trauma-informed care, at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you shove yourself aside?  Do you think it's selfish to love yourself—or even wrong?   Learn practical steps you can take toward improving one of your most important relationships, your relationship with YOU.  We'll cover:  1. My story of shoving myself aside  2. What does self-love really mean?  3. Can I love myself and love God?  4. 2 reasons you don’t love yourself  5. 4 messages that teach you *not* to love yourself  6. An exercise you can do each morning to start loving yourself.   Questions for Reflection:   —What messages have you heard about loving yourself?  —What is one action you can take toward honoring yourself this week?  —Try the MEPS exercise mentioned at the end of this episode. What did you notice? Were you surprised by anything?   Key takeaway: The way you treat yourself will have a direct impact on how you treat others.   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special bonus episode, I answer two of your questions: 1. My spouse used to gaslight me, but has shown meaningful change. I'm still angry. What should I do? 2. My parents were narcissistic and now I constantly seek validation from others. How do I stop? Visit https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul to sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What should I know about gaslighting?  In this episode we'll discuss:   1. What is gaslighting?  2. What are some examples of it in real life?  3. Why do people do this?  4. What does the Bible have to say about gaslighting?  5. The #1 question I get from people who are dealing with a gaslighter  6. How do I protect myself with someone who gaslights?   Questions for Reflection:  —Are there any relationships in your life where gaslighting is occurring?  —Who are the people you trust?  —Who are the people who help you move toward the best of who you are?  —Are there any areas in your life of dishonesty or deception? Key takeaway: The more you get honest with yourself and with God, the more you detect honesty and health in others.  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here: https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve heard the word narcissist, but what does it really mean? In this episode we’ll discuss:  1. What narcissism is— how it’s presented in the Bible and the criteria psychologists use to diagnose it  2. The difference between labeling people vs. naming behaviors  3. Different types of narcissism  4. What it feels like if you’re in a narcissistic relationship  5. How do I know that I’m not a narcissist?  6. The antidote to narcissism   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best Of You podcast with Dr. Alison Cook! This podcast will help you discover what brings out the best of you. It's about helping you break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover your true self in God. Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist who has worked with people for over two decades. She is also an author and teacher at heart who loves taking complex topics and breaking them down into practical tools you can apply in your everyday life. She also specializes in bringing faith into psychology. Her work came out of her own faith journey and how she found that while she wanted to know God she needed to figure out a better relationship with herself. Dr. Alison Cook shares these tools with you and the things she has learned from her own story and her work with her clients so together we can learn how to become the people we really want to become.  You will learn about what it means to have a strong sense of self, why that work matters, and why that goes hand in hand with a strong faith in God. Other topics include relationships, codependency, boundaries issues, and toxicity. You will also hear episodes on emotions - loneliness, anger, and guilt and how to discover new ones like confidence, playfulness, and joy. You will learn how to find your own voice as you turn away from harm and  pull in the good things that you need so together we can envision the life and relationships we want with God's help. Episodes come out every Thursday and Dr. Alison Cook will invite some friends and other experts to share their stories too. She'll also be spending time answering your questions along the way. Join us Thursday, May 5th for the first episode! Follow Dr. Alison Cook on Instagram @dralisoncook! While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices