Abigail Porter, better known online as "The Girl with the List," joins me to talk about deconstructing motherhood—especially after growing up Mormon. We discuss the messages society and religion often send women about motherhood as their highest purpose, and how Abigail unpacked those beliefs to arrive at her decision to be child-free.  She also shares what she loves about the child-free life, the pushback she's received for speaking openly about her decision online, and the misconceptions women without children often face. Along the way, we explore her viral "List," reproductive autonomy, and what it looks like to choose a different path than the one you were always told you were supposed to want. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. REFERENCES Abigail’s Instagram Abigail’s TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've been meaning to tell this story for a long time. This is my infertility journey that ultimately led to the birth of my now four-year-old twin daughters. We cover the practical side: infertility treatments, my endometriosis diagnosis, and why we decided to transfer two embryos. But I also get into the parts that are harder to talk about: how infertility shook my Mormon faith, made me question God, and forced me to untangle so much of my identity and worth as a woman. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I recruited Bentley to answer some "boyfriend questions," and our conversation ended up in some unexpected places. We discuss our death row meals, where we'd look for each other if we went missing for 24 hours, our stolen catalytic converter, how we're settling into life in our new LA rental, a little relationship check-in, and plenty of other tangents along the way. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing to say about Mormonism, it's that it's distinctly American. My Mormon deconstruction both mirrored and informed my deconstruction of American exceptionalism. In honor of America's 250th anniversary, I'm breaking down how I feel about this country now, the ways Mormonism shaped my view of America, and what it was like to untangle the two. Everyone who signs up to my giveaway wins either a free WhisperVibe™ or a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTech™ purchase! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast#bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm annoyed! By a creator freaking out that Toy Story spotlighted Jessie over Woody and Buzz, for starters, and by a lot of other things too. I had you write in what you're annoyed about, and we've got a great lineup of grievances: in-laws acting weird, returned Mormon missionaries being presumptuous, parents letting their kids go crazy, influencers filming themselves walking, and more. Some I agree with, some I'm torn about. Can't wait to discuss. The Toy Story Instagram post Robin Morgan TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this catch-up episode, I'm sharing some shifts in my perspectives I've been noticing after our first month in LA. Then we jump into a little bit of everything: the ethics of porn, a racist comment recently made by a Mormon general authority, Jen Affleck's fourth pregnancy announcement, a few thoughts on Love Island, and what has struck me about the way Utah Mormon adults socialize compared to almost everyone else. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In honor of Pride Month, I’m reading your stories of when queerness and religion collide. There are stories of finding love despite church community pushback, first crushes, forbidden feelings, queer awakenings, and figuring yourself out in religious spaces. There are also a lot of girls kissing girls: mission companions, YSA ward friends, and fellow campers at Girls’ Camp. We love to see it. And we love love 🏳️‍🌈 Conversion Therapy to Drag Diva episode with Meredith Peterson Sister Missionaries Turned Lovers episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their order!  https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I saw this theory in my comment section this week, my interest was immediately piqued: what if Jesus was queer? While we don't have enough evidence to know for sure, this theory led me down some very interesting rabbit holes and thought lanes that I'm excited to travel again with you. Then I share some updates: a life-changing Korean spa experience in the nude, my new love for a very specific coffee drink, and how things are feeling in California. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-proclaimed OCDiva Jane Beeson joins me today to talk about experiencing religious OCD inside Mormonism. We discuss the ways Mormonism fueled the OCD fire, as well as the beliefs, language, and values she's had to unpack since leaving the church and beginning her OCD recovery journey. You can find Jane on Instagram, TikTok and Spotify. Reclaim your faith with NOCD. Book a free 15 minute call here to get started. Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order at Earlybird. Join the Girlscamp: Unplugged account at https://www.patreon.com/c/Girlscamp For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram @girlscamppodcast & TikTok @hayleyrawle. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No better person to break down the weird world of Mormon rules with than Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa and I dive into everything from coffee and garments to rated-R movies, gender roles, and ear piercings, unpacking what these rules say about Mormonism, where they came from, and how they've changed over time. Alyssa shares what kind of rule follower she was, the Mormon rules she thinks are most likely to change next, and why some rules seem to matter more than others. Mormonism doesn't rule... but it definitely has a lot of rules. Alyssa’s first Girlscamp episode Church Instagram post about man supporting his wife as a doctor Alyssa on YouTube Alyssa on Instagram Alyssa on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the title suggests, today I'm spilling my guts. There's been a lot going on in my life—and in my brain—and it felt good to sit down and talk through some of it. We're chatting about a surprising first-time club experience in LA, some behind-the-scenes on a couple upcoming interviews, more beef with Mormon apologists, an addition to the crazy moving lore, and all the ways I'm starting to feel like a new person. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I thought my move was chaotic, but it's got nothing on some of your moving stories. We're talking about everything that can (and did) go wrong during a move, plus a few surprisingly sweet stories of things going unexpectedly right. Lost keys, missing washboards, dead pet fish, sick children... and a little moving magic. U-Haul, sponsor us? The Astronaut Driving Cross-Country in Diapers story Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moving IS hell, but LA is feeling pretty heavenly so far! Today I’m telling you the good, the bad and the ugly of packing up our whole life in Utah and trekking out to our new life in California.  It’s been good exposure therapy for my control/perfectionist side and a good opportunity to reflect on life, transitions and what I really want out of it all. We’re also talking the weird limbo zone of moving, saying goodbye to friends and family and why our dirty little rental in Atwater already feels like home. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTM order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast Love Trapped podcast All Fours by Miranda July Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke was quite the ride and, for many women raised in conservative Christian culture (like me!), a disturbingly familiar one. Today I’m recapping the book, but even more so unpacking the themes underneath it: womanhood, motherhood, toxic masculinity, performance, privacy, religion, and influencer culture. I also tackle the question everyone seems to be asking: who exactly is this story inspired by? Hannah Neeleman? Ruby Franke? Something more general? Or something else entirely? You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Detroit native Alley Bird comes to Girlscamp to talk about her experience growing up as a Black Mormon girl, learning about the priesthood ban in seminary as a teenager, and later experiencing colorism on her mission in El Salvador. We talk about the health (or lack thereof) of sister missionaries, the resources (or lack thereof) for Black missionaries facing racism, and the unique culture surrounding Mormon missions. Alley also shares about her brief stint as a Temple Square Visitors’ Center missionary during Covid. You can find Alley on TikTok here and on Instagram here. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s been 10 years since our Mormon temple wedding at 20 and 21. Today Bentley and I are reflecting on young marriage, navigating faith deconstruction as a couple, the advice we’d give our younger selves, and whether we’d do it all over again. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s guest Ash Santos always dreamed outside the Mormon box. After an early marriage and becoming a mom young, she landed her first big break on American Horror Story. She later deconstructed her faith and then her marriage. And after years of fighting for the life she actually wanted, she’s now in a lead role as Andrea Cruz on the CBS hit series Marshals. Amber Fillerup Girlscamp episode Ash Santos on Instagram Marshals on CBS Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a bread-and-butter Girlscamp submission episode today: church mission stories. We’re chatting about crazy (and sometimes dangerous) companions, bizarre proselytizing run-ins, and what happens when you tell the Mormon missionaries you don’t believe in Joseph Smith. Come along for the ride! Crazy Mormon Mission Stories episode STALKED on a Mormon Mission episode Sister Missionary Snapchat ad Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve got much to discuss about Netflix’s new docuseries Trust Me: The False Prophet. Watching it, I was surprised by how familiar parts of it felt. In this episode I talk through the parallels and patterns I noticed between the Samuelites, the FLDS, and mainstream Mormonism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re catching up. I’ve got some life updates, big and small, to talk through with you. And, per usual, lots of thoughts and feelings about all of them. Vagus Nerve Exercises card deck Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chief Mary Murdock Meyer joins Girlscamp to share the history of the Timpanogos Nation, especially where it intersects with Mormon settlement in what we now call Utah. She talks about what life looked like for her people before 1847, what changed after Mormon settlers arrived, and how that history still shapes the Timpanogos Nation. We also talk about what those of us with Utah pioneer ancestry can better understand about how to engage with this history now. Petition to rescind extermination order The Timpanogos Nation website You can follow the Timpanogos Nation on InstagramFacebookYoutubeSubstackPatreon Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking all things Easter this week! First on the agenda: why are Mormons suddenly celebrating Holy Week? Since when was Palm Sunday a thing? Then we get into resurrection theology, fear of death, and what it looks like to celebrate Easter after religion. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Instead of asking ourselves “What Would Jesus Do?”, today we’re asking: What Would Hayley Do? I’m responding to your submitted dilemmas, talking through how useful the WWJD framework actually is as a decision-making tool, and (for fun) applying that question to some Mormon internet apologists… which doesn’t exactly go great for them. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany grew up in a plural marriage family within a fundamentalist Mormon group, the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB). Her mom was a fourth wife and later (after a divorce) a sixth. As a teenager, she began questioning and ultimately left the principle of polygamy, joining mainstream Mormonism and getting married. When both her faith and her marriage later unraveled, Tiffany had to start over and begin building a life on her own terms. REFERENCES “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft “It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People” By Ramani Durvasula PhD Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 4 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is here and you know I have THOUGHTS. In this SLOMW Season 4 recap, I’m breaking down the DadTok attempted takeover (and what it says about Mormon male culture), that wild “honor your mother” moment between Liann and Taylor Frankie Paul, what Mayci’s husband said about the priesthood, and the moment Harry Jowsey thought polygamy was a person. As an ex-Mormon, I have a lot to say and a lot of feelings, so buckle up for some ranting. “Codependent No More(Mon)” Episode YouTube “Codependent No More(Mon)” Episode Interview with Chase McWhorter Interview with Jessi Draper Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been swept up in the energy of the Year of the Fire Horse, but realized I didn’t really know what it was all about. So today we’re deep diving the Chinese zodiac and what this fiery horse year is supposed to bring. I also talk about if (and how) I engage with belief systems like this now that I’m post-religion. Giddy up!  BBC on the Chinese Zodiac race The YouTube video on time Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got David Archuleta! From the pressure of being Mormonism’s golden boy after American Idol to embracing his sexuality and learning to trust himself, David opens up about the long road that led him to step away from Mormonism and into a whole new chapter of life. David’s book Devout David on Instagram David on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Round two of your church dating stories is here! I’m equal parts entertained and concerned for all of us. These range from awkward to chaotic to maddening. If you survived church dating culture, you’re among friends here at Girlscamp.  REFERENCES  “What’s REALLY going on at BYU?” podcast “What’s REALLY going at BYU?” YouTube Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you stay Mormon if you don’t actually believe it? Jessica Paige identifies as a secular Mormon and joins me to talk about why she stays, how she defines that label and what it actually looks like to participate in Mormon life without belief. You can find Jessica on TikTok here. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Crazy church dating stories incoming! We’re talking condescending Mormon men, purity culture weirdness and the intense marriage focus in high-demand religions. More specifically: Shrek cosplay YouTube videos, a family who spiritually communicates with dragons and a Mormon guy who’s a little TOO into Harry Potter. In-N-Out at midnight TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m diving into the Mormon POV on Mother Mary. And beyond some very ahem interesting doctrinal points (see the title), Mary opens up a much bigger conversation about virginity and virtue, the physical nature of the Mormon God, and the absence of any real female divinity in LDS theology. Mary, the Mother of Jesus (according to TCOJCOLDS) FAIR Latter Day Saints on Mary The Guardian Article Mormon Research Ministry Article on Mary Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Benny grew up feeling like something about him was “wrong.” After pushing through the Mormon path—full-time mission, BYU education—he eventually came out and began learning how to love himself for who he is. With his expertise in gender and sexuality, we talk about Mormon manhood, coming out at BYU, his continued fascination with deep-cut LDS doctrine, and how he’s embracing new forms of spirituality today. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I consumed a lot of Mormon and Mormon-adjacent media this week: Heather Gay’s Surviving Mormonism, Elizabeth Smart’s new documentary Kidnapped and Jennette McCurdy’s latest novel Half His Age. As you can imagine, I’ve got thoughts! We get into purity culture and sex, what it means to face the very worst of Mormonism, and where the bounds of “religious freedom” really are. And I also end up sharing a heavy family conversation I had this week about immigration enforcement and just how intense everything feels right now. You can find the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three years later, I’m revisiting the question that kicked off the whole Girlscamp podcast. I talk about how my answer to why I left the Mormon church has evolved, and reflect on how this podcast has helped shape me. Here’s to three more years!  The first Girlscamp episode Russell M. Nelson quote on the historicity of the Book of Mormon The Trevor Project Utah LGBTQ+ mental health statistics Sober Mormon TikTok post Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode YouTube Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m resurrecting the campfire chat ✝️ and diving into your thoughts and questions. We end up covering a lot of ground: Mormon adult infantilization, mixed-faith extended family dynamics, learning to trust yourself after high-demand religion, threesome thoughts, and more. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. THRIVE Conference- St. George 2026 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“The most tragic episode in the history of the Church,” according to the Mormon Church’s own website, is the Mountain Meadows Massacre. In this episode, we talk about the violence carried out by early Mormons at Mountain Meadows, what was deliberately covered up, and how to reckon with that history now—especially after leaving the church. We dig into the social and political tensions between Mormons in the Utah Territory and the federal government, the complex relationships with the Paiute people, and the fact that Mormon headquarters still isn’t fully addressing the elephant in the room. You can listen to the entire episode at the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Though we both left Mormonism, Ash and I ended up in very different spiritual places. We talk about the tension between my skepticism and her mysticism, what New Age spirituality looks like in her everyday life, and the meaning it brings her. We also talk about her family’s move to Missouri to prepare for the Mormon Second Coming, and how that has shaped her worldview. Tune in for a dose of Ash magic ✨ Ash's Instagram Ash's Patreon account Ash's first Girlscamp episode Head to MarleySpoon.com/offer/GIRLSCAMP for up to 25 free meals Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This year was a big one for internal change. I’m sharing what I’ve changed my mind about in 2025 — my relationship with Mormonism, how I feel about Jesus, and what I now think counts as grounds for divorce. Then I’m reading your mind-changes, from something as small as eating kiwi skin to something as big as a 180 on political beliefs. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In light of senior Mormon apostle Jeffrey R. Holland’s passing, we’re sitting down to take a real look at his life and legacy. He shaped so many of us in our Mormonism (and influenced many of our exits, too). He was my former favorite apostle, and I still have lines he said memorized. Those lines ring very differently now. Let’s get into it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I get to be the Catholic priest. I’m reading your end-of-year confessions: marriage woes, smut enjoyment, religious indoctrination worries, and getting freaky at BYU. I also unpack my thoughts on the uproar over John Dehlin’s comments about his Mormonism, and whether I think I’m more ethical than practicing Mormons. Tommy Johnson’s reel about John Dehlin Terry real Instagram Zoomie (the girl with the list) TikTok account Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No better time than Christmas to take a look at who Jesus really was. This episode is a deep dive into the historical Jesus—what we know, what we don’t, and how the story evolved over time. I ended up liking Jesus (the real guy) a lot more by the end of this. So, merry Christmas to that 🥂Yale Professor lecture “The Historical Jesus” Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have some catching up to do! I’m getting into some ✨off the main feed ✨ topics today: an interaction with a couple moms from my kid’s extracurriculars, BTS from the Chase McWhorter episode, Christmas-time mom guilt, more about my grief journey and how I feel about people who go to church just for the community. See you there! You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chase McWhorter, of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, comes to Girlscamp today to talk about his Mormon upbringing, sex shame and taking accountability for his recently revealed DUI charge. We dig into the context behind his choices (spoiler: it's mostly Mormon!) and the ripple effects they’ve had. We talk about what rebuilding looks like—as a man, a dad, and in his spiritual identity. Chase on The Weekly Trash with Josie Van Dyke Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Only a few weeks off social media and this bitch has stories to tell. Today I’m talking about my scrolling addiction and the moment I realized enough was enough. Then we’ll catch up while I read through your submissions and questions ❤️ Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest Podcast Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest YouTube Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke The Push by Ashley Audrain No Nonsense Spirituality by Brittney Hartley Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would the story of Jesus look like if he had a wife? That’s the thought experiment Sue Monk Kidd takes on in The Book of Longings, told from the perspective of Jesus’s fictional wife, Ana. This book healed some of my Jesus trauma and helped me put words to my new kind of spirituality. It opened up conversations about the silencing of women's voices, patriarchy and power, motherhood, spiritual identity, and what autonomy and independence can look like within a marriage. You can listen to the whole episode at the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there’s one thing we’re going to do at Girlscamp, it’s talk about Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Season 3 cracked open so many conversations: toxic masculinity in patriarchal marriages, the complexity of progressive Mormonism, racism in the Book of Mormon, and intimacy issues born from purity culture. Let’s get into it. REFERENCES Jessi on Girlscamp: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3MrrfYJz5MA12g2C5tW4Fn?si=rZoTRFB4Qqqg8vLeVX4dyg Jessi on Girlscamp YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yZSxCXrDxs Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author of the viral 2016 essay Dear Mormon Man, Amy McPhie Allebest joins me to talk all things feminism in and beyond a patriarchal faith tradition. We get into how deeply patriarchy is baked into Mormonism and the wider world, why recent shifts in the church’s treatment of women can feel more harmful than helpful, and how to uproot patriarchal thinking in ourselves and our communities. We wrap with a conversation on intersectional feminism and how to keep deconstructing beyond white feminism. "Dear Mormon Man" Essay Breaking Down Patriarchy on YouTube Breaking Down Patriarchy on Instagram Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sunday check-in time! I’m answering your write-ins about everything from people-pleasing and workplace self-doubt to holiday gift-giving dread, grounds for divorce, and the rage of watching Mormon rule changes get retroactively gaslit (i.e. "it was never about modesty"). We also get into financial control in relationships, mixed-faith dating, the SLOMW season 3 men, and… whether I’ve ever been to a strip club. It’s a juicy one and feels so nice to catch up. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a full-blown Mormon reality TV takeover happening! This week, Madi Murphy-West of The Bad Broadcast joins me to break down why public fascination with Mormonism keeps growing and why it translates so well to the reality TV format. We get into Utah’s pipeline feeding Dancing With the Stars, our predictions for Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season 3, and our thoughts on Taylor Frankie Paul as the new Bachelorette. BYU article about Hailey Bills Alyssa Grenfell’s video on ballroom and Utah/Mormonism Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's spookier than talking about religion? Talking about politics. 👻 So let's dive right in. This week, I'm not just sharing my political opinions (though I do a bit of that)—I'm talking about talking about politics: why it feels like such a landmine, whether it’s even productive, and how I try to navigate it all. Correction: In this episode, I mistakenly said that Donald Trump was convicted of sexual assault. He has not been criminally convicted; a civil jury found him liable for sexual abuse and defamation in the E. Jean Carroll case. Another note: The government shutdown wasn’t completely Trump’s fault, but the bill written by Republicans — and backed by the White House — left out the health insurance subsidies Democrats wanted, which made a shutdown much more likely. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know what’s right when there’s no religious rulebook anymore? This week I’m talking about how I’m rebuilding my moral compass and working through a bunch of ethical dilemmas — like whether my decision to publicly call out Christian podcasters felt morally aligned, what I’d do if I found out a friend was cheating (or being cheated on), and the ethics of parents doing online sex work. I also get into cancel culture, vaccine mandates, the Whitney Leavitt hate train, and when airing dirty laundry crosses a line. Spoiler: I’m often still torn. You can finish the rest of the episode and join the book club at the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve got another haunted episode—this time we’re diving into LDS doctrine around devils and demons. I break down the “demons in the details” of Mormon teachings about Satan, then share your stories and reflections on what learning about the devil meant for you. Meredith’s episode Conversion Therapy to Drag Diva: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversion-therapy-to-drag-diva/id1667706991?i=1000660316563 A Study of the Problem of a Personal Devil and its Relationship to Latter-Day Saint Beliefs: https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/etd/4710/#:~:text=Yes%2C%20Mormons%20believe%20in%20demons.%20The%20Church,holding%20the%20Priesthood%20and%20are%20cast%20out. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's our third annual Girlscamp scary stories roundup! Bentley joins me as we dive into tales of a haunted mission house, a temple initiatory gone wrong, a possessed Airbnb doll, and more. Consider this your Halloween campfire… inside the chapel. Last year’s scary stories episode with Bentley Return missionary speaking Spanish video Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dallin H. Oaks was just named the new Mormon prophet, which gives us a lot to talk about. We’re doing a refresher on how a prophet is chosen, breaking down who Dallin picked as his counselors, and diving into the most problematic things he’s said as a church leader so far. To listen to the entire episode, you can join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the wake of the horrific shooting at an LDS church building in Michigan, ex-Mormon content creators (myself included) have been hit with backlash and accused of ‘fueling hate.’ I break down why I think that’s mostly bullshit—while also exploring where it’s worth pausing to consider the line between ex-Mormonism and anti-Mormonism. From there, it’s a true mixed bag: Mayci Neeley’s Secret Lives of Mormon Wives book tour soundbites, the downward trend of self-identified orthodox Mormons, my newfound niche interest in polygamy (thanks to Christine Brown Woolley’s new book about life on Sister Wives), and more. Christine Brown Woolley’s book Mormon Stories panel on “anti-Mormonism” Mayci Neeley’s NPR interview SL Tribune article on Mormon’s abandoning orthodox beliefs Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all heard the scary ghost stories—but what about the good ones? Today I’m sharing your stories of “good ghosts”: ancestors offering advice from the other side, an apparition stepping in after an accident, and even a friendly Scottish highlander checking in on his old home. This episode turned out surprisingly heartwarming—and yes, I cried my eyes out. You’ve been warned. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Much has transpired in Mormon news these past couple weeks, leaving anyone Mormon-adjacent with plenty of thoughts and feelings. In this episode, I’m diving into the legacy of Russell M. Nelson—the LDS prophet who passed away just last week—and unpacking the tragic shooting at a Mormon church in Michigan. I also share how these events ripple into my own life and perspective as someone speaking from the ex-Mormon experience. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will #MomTok survive this? I’m not sure—but I do have a lot of thoughts about motherhood. In this episode, I’m sharing what it’s really like being a twin mom, how we’re navigating the preschool milestone, and where I’m at with the big question of whether (or not) to have more kids. I’m also responding to your questions and submissions, covering everything from tense mother-daughter dynamics to the ethics of bringing children into the world—and even how to tell if you’re obeying or rebelling against the conditioning around motherhood. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started. “Girl with the list” ⁠TikTok⁠ Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of suicide and sexual assault. Please take care while listening. Ellee Duke grew up the picture-perfect Mormon girl, but after moving to Nashville for a record deal at 18, she began to question everything. Her story includes a relationship that turned abusive and the church’s poor response, family struggling to make sense of her faith transition, and a lot of processing, healing, and reclamation through music. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Ellee Duke on Spotify Ellee Duke on Instagram Ellee Duke on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve got plenty to rant about and plenty to rave about today ⚖️ On the rant list: the state of the world and what can be done about it, that new show The Paper, and Taylor Frankie Paul as the Bachelorette. On the rave list: my latest book obsession, a sweet motherhood milestone, Dancing With the Stars, and more. Come hang out with me while I get it all off my chest! To listen to the full episode, subscribe to the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Julie Hanks joins us to share both her professional expertise as a marriage and family therapist who has worked with women across the Mormon and ex-Mormon spectrum for over 30 years, and her personal experience of entering a new era after leaving the LDS Church, going through divorce, and embracing her true self even more. Topics we cover include: the final straw in her Mormon journey, navigating mixed-faith dynamics, finding identity after high-demand religion, and why women need more support. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Dr. Julie Hanks instagram Dr. Julie Hanks coaching services Wasatch Family Therapy To The Mothers in Zion talk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tanner and I go all the way back to third grade! We hopped on the mics this week to catch up on—first and foremost—why Diet Coke matters so much to our little ex-Mormon hearts and how we’re reevaluating our relationships with substances. From there we get into finding room for the mystical after leaving religion, “trusting your gut” both literally and figuratively, the soullessness of Freakier Friday, the TikTok-ification of art, and why we think we inherited a perfection problem from Mormonism. We hehe and haha the whole way through, and I hope you will too! “Essex Honey” by Blood Orange “Tested” podcast (on female runners who can no longer compete as women) “Shiversucker” music video Tanner’s first episode on Girlscamp Tanner’s Instagram Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are few things I disliked as much as fasting as a Mormon, so in this episode I’m talking about why. I get into what Mormon fasting is all about and then dig into fasting practices across cultures and religions—including when it’s done for health or protest reasons. I’m also sharing a recent awkward in-person run-in and a must-see documentary. Listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As promised, we’ve got a sex expert back on Girlscamp! Rebekah Barton, associate marriage & family therapist specializing in sex, joins us to tackle all your burning questions. We cover everything from spicing up dirty talk to grieving the reality of only ever having one partner, the toll abstinence takes on queer Mormons, how to get past masturbation hangups, and so much more. You don’t want to miss this one! Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. REFERENCES: Bekah's Instagram Bekah's TikTok Bekah's email: bekah@everglowhealing.com Links for learning/ practicing dirty talk:  https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dirty-talk/id1623119405 https://www.dipseastories.com/audiobooks/dirty-talk-101-series/?utm_source=chatgpt.com Masturbation/ Female Pleasure Course waitlist link  (discount code: GIRLSCAMP) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What haunted my Mormon girl nightmares? The Martin and Willie handcart tragedy. And here’s the thing: the version I was taught growing up wasn’t even as bad as the reality. In this episode, we’ll recap what really happened on that deadly trek, share some of the most harrowing and human anecdotes, and yes, do some much-deserved shit talking of Brigham Young. But more than that, I’ll dig into why this story still matters to me as a former Mormon—and how it continues to shape the way I understand both the faith of my upbringing and my identity as a descendant of pioneers. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/girlscamp Devil's Gate book Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My trip to Sweden for a wedding has given me much to talk and testify about. After a recap of the week (including a couple serious travel mishaps), I dive into what it was like to leave the kids, the magic of non-Mormon weddings, and alcohol as a social lubricant. I share what it feels like to be the only ex-Mormon at the function, the joy of connecting with brand-new friends, and my very first real clubbing (and drunk 🍷) experience. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Codependent? No more! As I’ve been learning about my own codependent tendencies, I’ve started noticing all the ways they show up in the culture and doctrine of high-demand religions. In this episode, we’ll cover Codependency 101, I’ll share my journey of recognizing those patterns in family, friendships, and marriage—and how I’m working to shift them. Then we’ll dive into how Mormonism (and other high-demand religions) can supercharge those dynamics. LFG! Melody Beattie’s “Codependent No More” Dr. Julie Hanks on patriarchal cultures and enmeshment Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

'Tis the season for family reunions! Before jumping into your reunion tales (spoiler: one includes polygamy cosplay), I share a few unfortunate events from my own back-to-back reunions in July. Plus, we unpack a surprising listener revelation: are family reunions kinda Mormon-coded? Pack your lawn chairs and emotional baggage—let’s get into it.  Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re getting cozy and cracking open the bedroom door. I’m answering your sex questions, reading your spicy (and sweet) thoughts and reflections, and sharing a few intimate observations from my own sex life. It’s part advice column, part group chat, part “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” You can listen to the episode in full on the Girlscamp: After Dark patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a much-needed July break, I’m catching you up on everything—from the real (and sometimes complicated) privilege of being a content creator, to the weird backlash I got for taking time off, to the chaos living in my notes app all month. We’re talking Mormonism and American exceptionalism, why eating contests should be illegal, learning to trust your intuition, and one of my new all-time favorite books. It’s a little bit of everything—because that’s what this podcast is, and honestly? That’s what I missed most. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In honor of Pioneer Day, we’re digging into what it really meant to be a pioneer woman—think managing periods and sex on the plains. I also take you on a deep dive into the lives of two prominent women: Jane Elizabeth Manning James and Mary Fielding Smith. Their stories are fascinating, complicated, and, weirdly, involve a lot of oxen. We’ll also unpack the emotional gymnastics that come with having pioneer ancestry—and how, ex-Mormon or not, we all have to reckon with the Mormon origin story. Plus, I wrap up with a little life update: how my July break went and a peek into a recent brand trip I got to take. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode first aired back in March 2024, and y’all loved it. So I’m bringing it back for a little Girlscamp Rewind. Whether it’s your first time or a repeat listen, I hope you enjoy!  Gather 'round the fire for some wild stories from Mormon girl's camp. These tales include traumatizing object lessons, "snipe hunting" and getting secretly stoned under the stars. And I even sing my favorite girl's camp song! Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode first aired back in April 2023, and y’all loved it. So I’m bringing it back for a little Girlscamp Rewind. Whether it’s your first time or a repeat listen, I hope you enjoy!  The ethereal Rachel Brockbank (artist and native name Tishmal) graces Girlscamp today with her post-Mormon story. She shares of her struggles with the church while in it, how love led her out of it and how her music is a diary of all the emotion along the way. She also speaks to her Native heritage and how that informs her spiritual journey both then and now. I was hanging on to her every word! I know you will be too.  Rachel Brockbank on Instagram “On My Way Up” song Rick Rubin's “The Creative Act” Steve Hassan “Combatting Cult Mind Control” Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Another day, another drama in the Mormon vs. ex-Mormon internet universe! A (self-proclaimed) LDS apologist podcaster made a response video to me after I called out the church for paying influencers to bear testimony of the Book of Mormon — and it gave us plenty to unpack. I’m diving into classic ex-Mormon stereotypes, the Church’s evolving digital marketing game, and what it might be like trying to stay devout online. Plus, a few thoughts on the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion to round it all out. You can listen to the rest of the episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode first aired back in June 2023, and y’all loved it. So I’m bringing it back for a little Girlscamp Rewind. Whether it’s your first time or a repeat listen, I hope you enjoy!  Get your bonnets and bloomers ready, because this week we're diving in to all the wild things that went down on Mormon trek. Listeners beware, there is some true trauma. But there's some lighthearted trek craziness along the trail as well. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s the most blissful experience a person can have without sex, substances, or salvation? I asked—you delivered. From the cozy to the cosmic, we’re talking through the full range. Plus, a little announcement from me about what’s ahead this month on Girlscamp.Ash Adams episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Something’s shifted lately—and not just in me. In this little life check-in, my husband Bentley joins me for a conversation about how we’re evolving in marriage, parenting, and the way we see the world. It’s a cozy and tender chat about where we’ve been, where we're going, and what we’re learning along the way. Listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Halfway through her time at Brigham Young University, today’s guest Holly Graff began deconstructing her Mormon faith—and also discovered she was bisexual. But with two years left to go, she had to navigate the tricky terrain of staying enrolled at a school that requires religious "worthiness." We talk about the emotional toll of hiding both her beliefs and her sexuality, what it really takes to keep your BYU endorsement, and the current vibe on campus between students, professors, and admin (it might surprise you). Holly’s TikTok on surviving BYU Holly’s Instagram Resource for queer BYU students- Cougar Pride Center Resource for queer BYU students- Encircle Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s wedding season! So we’re diving into the pinnacle Mormon version of marriage: the temple sealing. I break down what a temple sealing actually is, what people did (or didn’t do) to be deemed “worthy,” and read tons of listener stories that show this tradition from all its bizarre, secretive, and sometimes downright wild angles. Let’s just say it’s less wedding bells and more red flags. “Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets” podcast “Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets” on YouTube Exact script for the temple sealing Alyssa Grenfell temple clothes video Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re talking mixed-politics marriages, the true villain of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, when I feel “the spirit” most, and whether I’ve ever considered exploring with women 👀—among plenty of other things. My answers got a little more unfiltered than usual because, well, you know. 🍃 Listen to the whole episode here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Dehlin, a fixture of the post-Mormon community and founder of Mormon Stories, joins me to chat about life beyond Mormonism. We cover his favorite movies, books, places, parenting philosophy, and what he feels people most often misunderstand about him. Then—surprise, surprise—we break the no M-word rule and talk a little ex-Mormon podcasting shop. We couldn’t help ourselves. Mormon Stories Hayley’s episode on Mormon Stories Lucy Hutchin's Patreon Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For my 30th birthday, I asked anyone and everyone over 30 what they wish they’d known when they hit this milestone—and wow, did they deliver. We’re covering everything from skincare to motherhood to spirituality, and reading through all this advice truly felt like the best birthday gift I could’ve asked for. Whether you’re 25, 35, or just curious what’s coming next, I hope you find something in here to laugh at, reflect on, or look forward to. REFERENCES You Are Here- Thich Nhat Hanh Reddit episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about the one thing none of us can avoid—but most of us were never taught how to really face: death. I’m joined by Camille Miskin, LCSW, licensed grief counselor and death doula, to unpack what death, grief, and dying look like after religion. From Mormon heaven to mortality mindset shifts, we’re getting into it all. Camille’s practice Channeling Expansion Camille on Instagram The video of me looking like my dad Death doula directories:  https://www.nedalliance.org/doula_directory_n_through_z.html https://goingwithgrace.com/death-doula-directory/ Fowler’s Stages of Faith Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As someone who spends a lot of time dissecting Mormon culture and doctrine—especially its impact on millennial and Gen Z women in Utah—Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is basically my Super Bowl. Today we’re diving into all things season 2: the claim that these women are “smashing the patriarchy,” Jen and Zac’s faith crisis, Taylor’s swinger shame spiral, Layla’s s-e-x party, the pregnancy roulette, and so much more. Grab your Swig and let’s get into it. REFERENCES Jenna Jarvis' Girlscamp episode on YouTube Jenna Jarvis' Girlscamp episode on Apple podcasts Jessi Ngatikaura's episode on YouTube Jessi Ngatikaura's episode on Apple podcasts Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m opening up today about the not-so-linear path of healing—what I’ve tried, what’s helped, and what’s still a big ol’ work in progress. From talk therapy to ketamine, psilocybin, and SSRIs, I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything… and I’ve got thoughts. I’m also sharing a recent EMDR breakthrough that cracked something open for me—one that’s got me (begrudgingly?) learning how to actually ~love myself~. If you’re in the thick of it too, or just curious what this kind of work looks like, consider this your peek into the messy middle. Ketamine therapy deep-dive episode (Thorn Brothers) Kyle Thorn & Tucker Thorn You Are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you know me, you know I love a good evening scroll on Reddit. In this episode, I’ve rounded up some of the most fascinating threads from my favorite subreddits—r/todayilearned, r/AITAH, r/unresolvedmysteries, and (of course) r/exmormon. We’re covering everything from the Japanese government to undercover Mormons to peanut allergies on a plane. This episode’s got range. I’m also sharing my own not-so-great run-in with a certain corner of Reddit—let’s just say I’m nursing a bit of a vulnerability hangover. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. REFERENCES: Tom Sizemore/Saving Private Ryan Mel Blanc/Bugs Bunny Woman trapped in elevator Peanut allergies Japanese Prime Ministers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve had some LDS garment-related rage simmering lately—especially with the new  tank top design and the attempt to rewrite history about what garments are actually for. So today, we’re doing a quick rundown of how garments have evolved, then diving into the recent wave of pro-garment content popping up online. And to close it out, I’m reading some thoughts and feelings about the garment stuff from the Patreon crew 🫶🏻 To listen to the whole episode, join Girlscamp: After Dark here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re keeping it light this week with an episode full of funny, weird, and very Mormon mission stories. Think: a raw chicken casserole for lunch, an Elder who got an unexpected nude surprise, and a Southern Baptist vs. Mormon missionary face-off that felt more WWE than WWJD. Come for the chaos, stay for the laughs! Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’m joined by Samantha Dalton—therapist, co-host of the Nuance Needed podcast, and the voice behind @sam.the.therapistt on Instagram. Our conversation centers loosely on community and friendship after leaving high-demand religion, but we cover a lot of ground: the misuse of therapy-speak (including how “trauma dumping” gets weaponized), emotional immaturity among women raised in sheltered religious environments like Mormonism, and even a little analysis of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It’s one of those episodes that left me thinking long after we stopped recording. REFERENCES  Nuance Needed episode Not Everything is “Trauma Dumping” Nuance Needed episode You Do Owe People Things: The Myth of Zero Obligations Samantha Dalton on IG @sam.the.therapistt Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m letting you peek inside the very tortured brain of my former self: Sister Walker of the Berlin, Germany mission. After reading some dramatic (and slightly unhinged) excerpts from my missionary journal, I dive into your wild mission stories—featuring everything from being held up at gunpoint to someone putting a toilet seat in the dishwasher. Yep. Strap in. You can listen to the rest of the episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As many of us rethink what spring means outside the framework of Easter, may I suggest a new holiday to center: Earth Day. 🌱 I’m joined by stylist and thrifting extraordinaire Lucy Hutchins to chat all things sustainable fashion, slower living, and how reconnecting with the planet can offer a spiritual anchor post-religion. We get into the why behind buying less, the magic of thrifting, and how sustainability can be its own kind of salvation. Lucy’s first Girlscamp episode Lucy’s IG Lucy’s Patreon Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do Mormons really believe the Catholic Church is the “great and abominable church” that the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi warned about? 👀 Today we’re diving into that—plus: my new tattoo, whether ex-Mormons have a superiority complex, the latest round of Mormon hate content about me, and a little 420 participation guide (because why not). REFERENCES Ward Radio “the Bible is corrupt” reel The green dress temple video Women & The Priesthood video Jeffrey R. Holland Mob Boss Vibes Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s that time of year again! Welcome to the first annual Girlscamp General Conference, where we reflect on the craziest and most problematic moments from General Conferences past. If you don’t come for all the terrible Russell M. Nelson quotes, at least stay for David A. Bednar’s pickle analogy. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marisa was adopted as a baby into a strict, conservative Mormon family in Mesa, Arizona. Growing up, she faced a tumultuous upbringing marked by religiously justified discipline, all while navigating life as a Black woman in a predominantly white LDS culture. In this episode, she opens up about her childhood, the challenges she faced, and her journey of healing. TW: Brief mention of self-harm Patriarchal Blessing description Mimosa TikTok “What radicalized me” IG post Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did something about the world of Severance (Apple TV+) feel eerily familiar? That might be because there’s a surprising amount of Mormon overlap. Today, we’re breaking down the striking similarities between Mormonism and Severance—and trust me, it’s a gift that keeps on giving. Praise to the man? Praise Kier? Yeah… maybe not! REFERENCES r/ExMormon Reddit thread r/SeveranceAppleTVPlus Reddit thread Crazy Stupid Podcast @storytellersyd @_relationscapes Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once you step away from the strict rules of a high-demand religion, you’ve got to reassess where you stand on a lot of things. Today, we’re diving into my current standards around sex, drugs, and media—plus, taking a scary trip down memory lane with some wild Mormon quotes on all of the above. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aspyn Ovard comes to Girlscamp to talk about growing up in Utah surrounded by Mormon culture and her brief stint in the LDS church. We dive into the "Mormon-adjacent" milestones of her life and the ways church influence showed up along the way. Then, Aspyn shares what she believes now, a recent experience with a medium that left her questioning some things, and how she's navigating the grief of losing her dad. Aspyn on Instagram Aspyn on YouTube Alyssa Grenfell episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jaci Marie Smith returns! We dive into the case that’s on everyone’s minds following Hulu’s Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke. Jaci shares her thoughts on the case’s deep ties to Mormonism and how she navigates having an online presence as a mom. Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke Jaci’s dad's episode on Youtube Jaci’s dad's episode on Spotify Jaci's Instagram Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welp, starting therapy again is exposing just how much the Mormon church messed with my brain! In this episode, I’m unpacking the ways Mormonism has shaped my mental health and fed into some classic cognitive distortions. Plus, a catch-up on my recent LA interviews and some thoughts on the Ruby Franke documentary. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we’re diving into the nature of God—just girly things! I’ll share my journey deconstructing the 'traditional' idea of God, we’ll explore the Mormon conception of God, take a quick look at how views of God have evolved throughout history, and then I’ll read your submissions about how you’ve reimagined God after leaving high-demand religion. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s time to get a little rage out! I asked you to tell me about the most infuriating thing a man has ever said or done to you- be it a bishop, ex-boyfriend or boss. And unfortunately, we’ve all got some anger-inducing stories to tell. At least we get to vent together.  REFERENCES: Monster Mormon In-Law episode  Male loneliness epidemic infographic Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Public Enemy #1 at BYU? Today’s guest, Robert Carpenter! He's the man behind the viral TikToks exposing the quirks of BYU Mormons. We dive into how he first encountered Mormonism, his thoughts on the religion now, the wildest answers he’s ever gotten, and how he’d respond to his own go-to questions. Listen to the whole episode here at Girlscamp: After Dark. Robert's TikTok Robert's Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I dive into a collection of listener-submitted high thoughts—the kind that range from absurd to awe-inspiring. We’re talking everything from the meaning of life to thigh-high Crocs and baby doppelgängers. Plus, I throw in a few of my own for good measure. Whether you’re a stoner or just someone who loves a good mind-bending musing, I think you’ll enjoy the trip. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alyssa’s breaking point with Mormonism came when she realized she should have trusted her own reasoning instead of blindly following 'revelation.' Since then, she has been rebuilding her life and has even authored a book about the reconstruction process. We discuss how she overcame severe depression and self-harm, ultimately finding peace and meaning as an optimistic nihilist. REFERENCES: "How to Leave the Mormon Church" by Alyssa Grenfell Alyssa's YouTube Alyssa Instagram Wife No.19 "Not yet a human" photo Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I asked for your spiciest takes on sex, dating, marriage, and relationships—and you delivered. On the list? Polyamory, pornography, knowing if you picked the right partner, and surviving Mormon family parties as a single woman. And that’s just the beginning. REFERENCES: Abstinence only education research Aimee Heffernan on Girlscamp "Let's talk about (ex-religious) sex!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rosie Card, a well-known progressive Mormon influencer and founder of the LDS temple dress company Q.Noor, spent years pushing for change from within the faith. Now, she’s stepping away from Mormonism and diving into a new chapter, following her own path and exploring endless possibilities. REFERENCES: Rosie’s op-ed Rosie’s Instagram Jeffrey R. Holland “musket fire” talk Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back, baby! It's time for CES Letter Breakdown: Part 2. Along with some top-tier Brigham Young shit talk (the best kind), we’re diving into the fallibility of prophets, issues with the Book of Mormon witnesses, and the glaring incongruencies between Mormonism and science. To listen to the rest of this episode, sign up here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever had a moment that felt like a glitch in the matrix? This episode is all about the simulation theory and the uncanny coincidences, eerie events and too-good-to-be-true moments that made you question reality.  Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to reclaiming ourselves, body image often tops the list. Shannon Ricks joins us to explore why our relationships with our bodies became so complicated—and how we can work toward healthier ones. We dive into topics like food, weight, makeup, macro counting, cosmetic surgery, and even the impact of those middle school compliments we all remember. REFERENCES  Elder Ballard “put a little lipstick on” video Modern Eve Instagram Modern Eve website Glennon Doyle “Your Body is Not Your Masterpiece” Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve dug into submissions past to bring you a smorgasbord of the wildest Mormon stories. We’ve got everything from patriarchal blessings and awkward dating tales to EFY mishaps, sacrament meeting chaos, and (my personal favorite) bizarre bishop stories. Warning: things get weird. Listen to the whole episode here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s the day! I’ve been sitting on something big about the direction of Girlscamp, and I can’t wait to share it with you. In this episode, I’m breaking down the what and why of this shift. Plus, I'm sharing my tale of converting to (and quickly deconstructing) The Telepathy Tapes and why it was such an emotional journey. REFERENCES: Telepathy Tapes Telepathy Tapes article Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m recapping my 2024 favorites—and notable not-favorites—in books, movies, music, and TV. Plus, I’m sharing some lessons learned. My number one might surprise you!  Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who knew the CES Letter could be this much fun? Today, I’m breaking down the first half of the infamous CES Letter—which details major concerns about the history and doctrine of the Mormon church. Don’t worry, I’ve jazzed it up with a lot of commentary and plenty of snark aimed at Brother Joe.   Listen to the full episode here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My Christmas gift to you: round 2 of wild card Mormon/religious stories! This time, we’re diving into a very weird LDS take on global warming, pregnancy complications turned Sunday School lesson, and the undeniable need for an “I have Mormon grandparents” support group. Happy Holidays! 🎄 Last year's Christmas episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re reading and reacting to your wild card, off-the-wall Mormon stories, and I brought in Stacey Harkey to help me unpack the, well… chaos. And speaking of chaos, these stories deliver. From demonic possession (allegedly caused by questioning polygamy) to the “Three Nephites” saving a dog, to an evil hot chocolate maker—there’s a little bit of everything in this one. References: Stacey Harkey on Mormon Stories Stacey Harkey on Black Menaces The “breast augmentation” reel Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re starting off December’s campfire chat with a rant about my brand new breast implants, and then we’ve got a lot of ground to cover: Mormon criminals, confronting nihilism, being a twin mom, and why so many Dancing with the Stars pros are LDS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've got Good Time Girl Heather Gay at Girlscamp! Heather—New York Times bestselling author of Bad Mormon and star of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City—joins us to talk about her new book, Good Time Girl. We chat about what being a "good time girl" means to her, navigating disappointment from Mormon loved ones, and facing beauty standards in the public eye. We also dig into the shame tied to ambition as Mormon women. As a fellow Mormon-born gal who never quite fit the mold, I found so much to relate to in our conversation. References: Good Time Girl Heather Gay Instagram Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Patreon, we're talking boobs! Specifically, my decision to get a breast augmentation. I get into the how, what, when, and why—plus all the baggage that came up around Mormonism, patriarchy, and beauty standards. But before the boob talk, I share my thoughts on Wicked, some behind-the-scenes details about my upcoming interview with Heather Gay, and a parenting plea for help. You can listen to the full episode by signing up here for Girlscamp: After Dark! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Madi is finally back—with a new last name and lots of life updates about hitting Mormon milestones in a very non-Mormon way. We discuss how sitting with uncertainty weaves through leaving Mormonism, navigating motherhood, and making sense of death. References: Aurora TikTok Drew Barrymore TikTok Glennon Doyle quote: Madi on Girlscamp (March 2023) Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How lucky are we ex-Mormons to have Maddy Mitchell take an interest in our unique upbringing? She brings her own fascinating religious background to the conversation, and we dive into it in depth. Along the way, we discuss finding spirituality outside of religion, managing existential fears, and her fresh take on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. To top it all off, Maddy takes on a little Mormon trivia game I created—because why not have some fun with it? Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when two ex-Mormon women watch A24’s Heretic, the horror film about sister missionaries and faith deconstruction? A Girlscamp deep-dive! Chelsea Homer joins me to unpack our thoughts and reactions—trust us, there’s a lot to discuss. TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of violence and suicide References: Chelsea's Girlscamp episode Sophie Thatcher article on Mormonism Lost & Found club Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I asked for the scariest things you did or said as Mormons, and you all DELIVERED. We dive into converting friends, spouting homophobic rhetoric, getting married freaky fast, and much more. And I share plenty of my own haunting Mormon moments along the way. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Round 2 of scary religious stories is even spookier than the first! Bentley and I cozied up after dark to read and react to your chilling tales. This round covers haunted pioneer chapels, disembodied hands, a mysterious hair collector, and a late-night sleep paralysis demon who calls himself the "enemy of all righteousness." Happy (and haunted) Halloween! Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Patreon, we’re diving into the big question: I’ll walk you through my take on it, break down the academic consensus, and read some of your thoughts and feelings on the matter too. Plus, a fun update—a certain email from A24 just landed in my inbox 👀  Sign up on the Patreon Girlscamp: After Dark to listen the whole episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s better than scary stories? Religious scary stories! Today we’re diving into some wild tales: ghosts guarding sacred stuff, a stake president moonlighting as an exorcist, mission apartments with major paranormal vibes, and a spirit buddy named Michael. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s about time we got another therapist around here. Ashley shares her expertise on all things religious trauma and faith transitions. After getting the lowdown on her mixed-faith upbringing, we dive into what religious trauma really is, how Mormonism operates as a traumatized organization, and—most importantly—how to heal. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. REFERENCES: Ashley Buckner on Instagram Ashley Buckner’s email: ashleybucknerlmft@gmail.com Ashley Buckner’s podcast Sunflower Movement Information on brainspotting How to find a brainspotting therapist near you When Religion Hurts You book  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Patreon, I'm sharing some thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned about a friendship fallout I went through this year. Turns out, 65% of people have gone through something like this, and that shit ain't easy. So let’s talk about it! Sign up on the Patreon Girlscamp: After Dark to listen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal ideation & attempt Yes, you read that right! At just 16, today's guest, Josie Van Dyke, faced the threat of a Mormon disciplinary council. We dive into what led to that moment and the journey that followed, all the way to Josie's decision to leave Mormonism. Since Josie hosts a podcast where she speaks with people across the Mormon and ex-Mormon spectrum, I also pick her brain about the patterns and insights she's gained from her work. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I went on the Dr. Phil show to talk about being ex-religious, and I’ve got THOUGHTS! After a quick rundown of my experience (plus responding to all the drama from those who are upset I even went on), we dive into this month’s campfire chat. We’re tackling tough questions like, 'What should I do if I realize I’m in a toxic marriage?' and 'How do I handle feeling like the token ex-Mormon in my friend group?' It’s a fiery one, so grab a seat by the campfire! Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm telling your Mormon funeral stories as we talk through all things grief, death and funerals in the Mormon context. While I attempt to maintain some light-heartedness about this often somber topic, I do end up bawling my eyes out toward the end. You've been warned! TRIGGER WARNING: child & infant loss For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In response to the big Mormon pop culture moment that is The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, I’m putting my missionary hat back on to break down the fundamentals of Mormon doctrine! Because before really diving into soaking, ketamine treatments, soda shops, garments, and patriarchal marriages, you've got to understand the basics. My husband Bentley joins me to help unpack it all and keep me honest. Warning: I get a little heated. References: Bentley's intro episode Mormon temple episode Modesty episode Last Podcast on the Left episode on Mormonism Preach My Gospel manual For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That’s right! We got Jessi Ngatikaura from the current number one show on Hulu “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” Jessi shares about her Mormon upbringing, what led her out of the church and what it was like being the only ex-Mormon cast member on the show. We get into all the Mormon moments including the infamous flask in the hot tub, the baby shower un-invite and the Chippendales fiasco.  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🔥 It's campfire chat time! 🔥 Today's lineup: a story of an Elder’s Quorum president fiercely defending toxic masculinity, my rant on whether Mormons are really Christians, a quick rundown on why I think LDS doctrine is total BS, and some thoughts on letting go of finding myself.  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. REFERENCES Tara Herbert episode  Aurora TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you don’t know Emily yet, you’re welcome for the intro! She’s an expert in all things names and where they overlap with Utah/Mormon influencer culture. Today we’re chatting about the Utah name stereotypes (think McKinzleigh), the wild world of Book of Mormon names and what’s going on with the secret temple names. You’re going to love it. She also gives an original theory on why so many influencers are Mormon and gives me a new (new) name!  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Emily's TikTok  Emily's Instagram Zelph episode  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s nothing more Mormon than a big old family reunion! Unless it’s a big old family reunion hosted at a polygamy compound! Or one that has some temple-style role-play in the woods. Or… well, you’ll just have to listen to this episode and find out.  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s no easy feat to rediscover your style after ditching strict modesty standards. Fashion influencer Victoria Miner comes to Girlscamp to share all her practical tips and tricks on finding your personal style. We talk about modesty as control in Mormonism, the power of self-expression via fashion and the “fugliness” of garments. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ballerina Farm, Hulu’s newly announced show “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” and my personal wrestle before God around womanhood are the interwoven intro topics for this week’s campfire chat. After connecting these dots, we dive into your submissions, discussing whether I've ever questioned my sexuality, a wild story about a Mormon funeral, and the age-old question: do all dogs really go to heaven? References: Ballerina Farm article  LDS doctrine on animals  Drew Afualo on TikTok For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m doing ketamine treatment! And I’ve got a lot to say about it! Today I’m recapping the how, what and why of my own ketamine therapy, including what led me to it. I share my takeaways, which include thoughts on Mormon faith deconstruction, motherhood, friendship breakups, self-compassion and ~the meaning of life~. I also talk about my recent trip to the South of France and my favorite spots we visited.  Science Vs. ketamine episode Ashie Adams Instagram profile For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tara Herbert opens up about how her identity was repeatedly erased: as a transracial adoptee in a white Mormon family, as a Black woman misled about the church’s problematic past, and as a mother excluded by men from spiritual rituals. She also shares her journey of rediscovering her identity and worth outside the confines of the Mormon church. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. References: Tara’s podcast “Pouty Mouth” Mormon Stories episode with Courtney Kimpel Jane Manning Green Flake Curse of Cain Breaking Down Patriarchy podcast Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re telling more mission tales, focusing on the lack of safety many missionaries experienced. From stalkers and hostile governments to dangerous companions and hurricanes, there's no shortage of ways to feel unsafe on a Mormon mission. The common thread? Those in charge doing the absolute least to ensure our safety. Trigger Warning: This episode contains descriptions of unsafe situations, including being held up at gunpoint, stalking, and assault. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Only three days into her honeymoon, Gabby's husband began abusing her. She believed he was a good Mormon boy because he’d always played the part. The violence continued, sometimes even triggered by church rules, until she found the strength to leave. Soon after, she discovered she was pregnant. Gabby shares how the church made her more vulnerable to abuse and how part of her healing journey was stepping away from an orthodox approach to Mormonism. Trigger warning: this episode contains descriptions of physical abuse For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Charli XCX knows, being a girl can be so confusing—especially for a post-Mormon! Around the campfire today, we're chatting about grieving identity after a faith transition, a stake president who needs to grow up and learn some social skills, and why I haven't officially removed my records from the church yet.  I also respond to submissions about:  - How difficult it feels not to proselytize post-Mormonism after leaving - Saying no to family members about attending church events - Another common misconception about ex-Mormons- that we leave because we can't live in nuanced spaces - If it's ethical to lie to Mormon parents about queerness - A brainwashed missionary brother  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Quote by Cheryl Strayed Title reference (Charli XCX song) Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meredith Peterson shares the journey that led to her coming out as a transgender woman. She tried to live the model Mormon life, including going on a mission and graduating from Brigham Young University. She even had to endure horrible conversion therapy sessions in a family friend’s basement. After coming out as gay, she discovered the art of drag. Her fabulous drag persona, Ms. Mer, helped her ultimately embrace her true self as Meredith.  For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buckle up for the best (and craziest) posts from the exmormon subreddit. I’ve curated wild stories, thought-provoking questions, and hilarious comments from my favorite Reddit page to scroll through late at night. We’re talking about murderous moms (yes, you read that right), a Sunday school lesson about Taylor Swift, and a return missionary getting engaged after just one day. Like I said, buckle up! For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After 10 years, Kelsey Wells is finally ready to share her whole story about leaving Mormonism. We dive into her devout Mormon upbringing, her husband leaving the church before her, and the intense social and emotional fallout she faced after discovering the church wasn’t true. Then we chat about how she's rebuilt her sense of self and spirituality since then.  Kelsey's Redefine Fitness episode "The Day I Died" CES Letter For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube You can find Kelsey Wells on Instagram For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First Wednesday of the month means it’s time for a campfire chat! I’m reading and responding to your thoughts, questions and advice inquiries. Some things we’re chatting about:  How I’m REALLY doing since my dad’s death The way you should treat the Mormon missionaries  If ex-religious people are more educated and enlightened than religious ones Why it sucks to go on a “stateside” mission How to help a listener (8 years married) to finally orgasm For more Girlscamp content, follow along on instagram @girlscampodcast, TikTok @hayleyrawle and YouTube @girlscamppodcast. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@58ember.com. All other emails to girlscamppodcast@gmail.com Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us who are ex-religious can pinpoint a moment when everything came crashing down. Today, we are talking through those moments. They run the gamut—from reading multiple accounts of Joseph Smith’s First Vision and hearing Jeffrey R. Holland’s “musket fire” talk to having a friend come out as gay and watching a Scientology documentary that felt eerily familiar. These moments are fascinating, as is reflecting on all the things we put up with before the shelf got too heavy. Remember, shelf-breaker, don’t you mess around with me!  You can find more of Sam & Tanner at @zelphontheshelf on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube! Jeffrey R. Holland "musket fire" talk: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/elder-jeffrey-r-holland-2021-byu-university-conference Under the Banner of Heaven: https://www.hulu.com/series/under-the-banner-of-heaven-9c4ae394-e9c4-4a6d-985e-314270602c6b?&cmp=7958&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BM+Search+TV+Shows&utm_term=under%20the%20banner%20of%20heaven&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwgdayBhBQEiwAXhMxtkzA4M6JUjEYG7e3NtRwoH8QXkvIrCdnBCVQTCs_ouQ3oNNFIX4Z_BoCrj8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds Multiple "First Vision" accounts: https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/site/accounts-of-the-first-vision Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I unpack the Mormon-run "Ward Radio" hate episode about little old me! I discuss my reservations about snark content and then proceed to dive into a snarky episode of my own. But hey, I do it much better than they do. And I guess I've got to live up to my new "mean girl" title somehow.  Cultural Hall recap of Ward Radio video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-lrcy51krc&t=185s Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andrew flatlined and had an afterlife experience that really shook up his Mormon worldview when he was brought back to life. This kicked off an unraveling of faith in his 40s that ultimately led to leaving the Mormon church. We talk about his leaving and reconstructing, as well as connect over losing close family members, swap mission stories and appreciate being able to relate across an age gap. This conversation meant so much to me and I hope you enjoy it too.  Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

EFY aka Especially for Youth aka Mormon youth summer camp- let's get into it. From COWs (crushes of the week) to creepy counselors to Christian worship knock-off music being sung in unison, there's a lot to talk about. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My partner Bentley joins to kick-off our new once-a-month campfire chat tradition. We answers all your burning questions (how to start swearing, what not to bring up around Mormon family members, how I feel about the criticism for wearing a tank top dress to a temple wedding). Then things get a little juicier as we open up about how we navigate porn and "crushes" on other people. For the full work crush story, listen to OVERSHARING IS CARING. For the "Aimee episode about sex," listen to Let's talk about (ex-religious) sex! "I don't give a f- a sh*t" video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/0rC9M_h7Hb8 The tank top dress in front of the temple video referenced can be found on @girlscamppodcast on Instagram or @hayleyrawle on TikTok Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Connecting with Jesus was the catalyst for Nicole leaving the LDS church. After telling her Mormon story (which includes addiction, foster care & a temple marriage at 18), we dig into her love of Jesus now as a post-Mormon. I admit my own Christianity hangups and we get into all the tricky dynamics between people of Christian faith and those who have deconstructed it. Note: I know the video is out of focus :/ Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking Mormon fortune-telling aka patriarchal blessings. And how, for many ex-Mormons, they were less of a blessing and more of a curse. I give a little patriarchal blessing 101, share about the significant way my blessing changed my life and then read and unpack listener submissions about the crazy things their blessings said.  Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sex therapist and self-proclaimed sex witch Aimee Heffernan talks us through all things sexual health. She answers questions about pornography, masturbation and non-monogamy from a post-religious perspective. Her openness and enthusiasm about sex is inspiring, especially for those of us with a lot of baggage (ahem, purity culture) around our own sexuality.  References:  Aimee Heffernan @aimeeheff Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski Come Together- Emily Nagoski Wardless podcast: https://www.wardlesspodcast.com/ Chelsea Homer @chels_homer Natasha Helfer @natashahelfermft Celeste Davis @celestemdavis Carly @uncertainlycarly Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to the Ruby Franke case, many of us are wondering- how Mormon is all of this? Samantha Shelley and I answer that question today from our ex-Mormon perspective. We discuss purity culture, the character of Mormon God, when "honor thy father and mother" goes too far and how we feel about Ruby and Jodi's recent statements in court. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Evelyn fell DEEP into fundamental Catholicism as a struggling teen, to the point of only wearing skirts (even to go swimming). But once she started at Franciscan University, the fundamentalism became too much. Her journey includes discovering her sexuality, being told her panic attacks might be demonic and ultimately being intimidated into withdrawing from Franciscan. Let me tell ya, fundamental Catholicism might just give Mormonism a run for its money. Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gather 'round the fire for some wild stories from Mormon girl's camp. These tales include traumatizing object lessons, "snipe hunting" and getting secretly stoned under the stars. And I even sing my favorite girl's camp song! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BFFs since third grade, Tanner and I experienced most of our faith journeys together. When Tanner came out as gay and then left the Mormon church, I was still hanging on to my progressive Mormon ways. Because of these differences, we broke up. Now that we’ve reconciled, we have lots to say about how the church can come in between people. Thank God we’re back! And, dare I say, more powerful than ever.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TMI? Never! This episode I answer all your juicy questions and make a few confessions along the way. We’re chatting about wandering thoughts while married, my beef with progressive Mormons, making sense of past spiritual experiences and what I think about “homewreckers.” Thanks for letting me (over) share.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jaci tells the whole story of her infertility journey, focusing on the faith aspect of things. We discuss how we feel about “God’s timing”, how Jaci hopes to parent outside of the strict rules of Mormonism and what it's like to be a couple of gals who sometimes need to be "humbled" by whatever higher power might be out there. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Ty French and I get to play Mormon bishop and, spoiler alert, we’re sending some of you straight to jail (forget the sacrament)! We read your confessions which include a steamy encounter with a cousin, a “teensy affair” with a BYU professor and sexting with the Elders. I don’t know if I’ll ever see Mormons the same way again.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm getting really real about the realities of motherhood, especially as a recovering Mormon. I talk about feeling like a failure to be properly "maternal", the strain parenting has been on my marriage and if I think I would have had kids in another life as a never-Mormon. Let's just say, I'll be having a vulnerability hangover after this one. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jenna Rammell, founder & CEO, opens up about stepping away from Mormonism after years of "unsubscribing" from the many facets of it that felt uncomfortable her whole life. As a mother of four, she and her husband have found new ways of establishing spiritual rituals and meaning as a family. And, most importantly, she's living for herself for the first time. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the weird world of Mormon deep doctrine! We’ll be answering the titular question as well as: does Satan control the waters? Is Bigfoot actually Cain? Do all Mormons need to move to Missouri ASAP? Oh and I discover what a T.K. Smoothie is and… it’s not the newest Jamba Juice menu offering.  I did a lot of my fact-checking for this episode here: https://mormonr.org/categories  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing post-Mormons tend to be interested in, it's magic mushrooms. Christian talks in depth about psychedelics as medicine and how they can be also be used to help re-establish a spiritual center after deconstructing religion. And, obviously, I manage to get some free therapy along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the weird world of Mormon dating. Bentley joins me for moral support this week because these stories are particularly wild ones! There are scripture study dates, rampant misogynistic remarks and crocs with no socks (you'll see). --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mormon church was EVERYTHING to today's guest Jenna Jarvis- so much so that she was diagnosed with religious OCD. She shares about what it was like to find wholeness away from Mormonism. Her story includes love songs to herself, a romcom worthy European summer and so much more! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Girlscamp-iversary! We're celebrating one year together (albeit a tad early) by talking about the lessons I learned in 2023. These range from how I've been taking care of my physical/mental health to why I think smut is necessary for post-Mormon girlies to how to grow as a content creator. I can't wait for all we have in store for 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Except for it's non-fiction! These stories of wild things said from a Mormon church pulpit prove that truth is indeed stranger than fiction. The tales include a public admission of an affair, a self-proclaimed Messiah and a conspiracy theory against the Mormon prophet. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s nothing like working through the “Questions of the Soul” (a la Preach my Gospel) to get one pondering the meaning of existence. This week I compare and contrast my post-Mormon thoughts vs. Mormonism’s answers on God, life’s purpose and how to find happiness. It's a fun one! References: Brittany Hartley @nononsensespirituality Kurt Vonnegut "Slaughterhouse Five" --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My dad died unexpectedly at age 54. Today I talk about what it's been like to process his death, especially the spiritual side of it all. I also read the words I spoke at his funeral. Mostly, I share what his life and love meant to me. And what they mean to me now. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finally! We’re talking ALL things female friendship, especially when it comes to mixed-faith ones. But first, Lucy shares her own faith journey and what she learned along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Christmastime! For those who celebrate. And for those who celebrate but it's a little ~complicated.~ On top of telling crazy Mormon Christmas stories, I talk about thoughts and ideas for doing Christmas after your faith has changed, how I feel about Christ generally and I give a couple big life updates too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You heard that right! Lola and Jayden were sister missionaries serving in the same area when they struck up a friendship that turned into a romance. After a kiss that changed everything, they've had to navigate coming out, leaving the church and being ostracized by family members. It's been difficult, but they've been able to do it together. TW: Suicidal ideation --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back to round out the crazy bishop conversation (for now). Bentley joins to help breakdown more stories about bishops which include odd and unsound advice, confessions at the pulpit and, of course, a fair amount of sexism. I guess it wouldn’t be a Girlscamp episode without at least a little feminine (+Bentley) rage. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fair warning, this episode is full of feminine rage. Because if anything warrants ranting and raging, it’s Mormon bishop stories. We focus today on the sex-related stuff- inappropriate worthiness interviews, creepy modesty callouts and a whole lot of sex-shaming. Because if Mormon bishops have one thing, it's the audacity. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you get when a Relief Society president, stake Young Women's counselor and exmormon record a podcast episode? You'll have to listen and find out! My mom and sisters (active LDS) join Girlscamp today and we talk about all the ways we navigate our mixed-faith family dynamic. We discuss doctrinal beliefs around degrees of heaven, how they felt when I told them I'd left the church and what they make of this podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mormon history can get, well, witchy. So in honor of Halloween, we're exploring all of the folklore magic elements of Joseph Smith and the start of the Mormon church. We're talking mystical parchments, spirit guardians and astrological talismans- just to name a few. Let's get into it, witches. SOURCES: Mormon Stories essay: https://www.mormonstories.org/truth-claims/joseph-smith/treasure/ Mormon Stories episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2i4mUggxFUJHoXuynL7GOH?si=9de2b1dcb86f4086 Mormonism Research Ministry: https://www.mrm.org/folk-magic --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The intersection of Mormonism and scary stories is surprisingly fruitful. Or is it that surprising? Bayley and I have a spooky and silly time reading all your tales of ghosts, demons and devils but with a Mormon twist. And we explore some haunted Mormon lore too. Listeners beware! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feeling entirely overlooked on the front row during Relief Society was Brialee's last straw that led to her leaving the LDS church. Before that, she had given Mormonism - which she was baptized into at age 9 without her mom's permission- her all. Bria speaks about navigating foster care and adoption as a child, facing intense pressure to dress modestly and discovering historic and current racism toward Black people in the church. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I said not to hold back with the questions and you certainly didn’t! In this solo episode I address the full gamut of post-Mormon subjects- from pornography to officially removing records from the church to my spiritual beliefs now. Like any good campfire chat, I’m keeping it real. Pull up a chair! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After converting to Mormonism at 17-years-old, Emilie Kiser was all in on the religion. She opens up about the details of her whole faith journey into and then out of Mormonism. We discuss Mormon convert imposter syndrome, what it's like to gain a gigantic following on TikTok while navigating a faith transition and the moment she and her husband Brady decided to distance from the church (hint: it involves a cup of coffee). And Emilie will have you laughing the whole way through. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Ambyland, campers! This week Amber shares her Mormon/Post-Mormon saga- from snark forums and slut-shaming to sex-positivity and self-love. She speaks to the magic of this new chapter in her life and how she's brought bits and pieces of Mormonism into it too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With all the mystery that shrouds the Mormon temple, I do my best to lay it all out on the table. After an (albeit chaotic) rundown of what goes on inside, we talk through your stories, experiences, thoughts and feelings. I laugh, I cry and I process a good amount of religious trauma along the way. Hey, what else is Girlscamp for? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Abby grew up as devout an evangelical Christian as they come, but when she went to college for a theology degree things quickly started to shift. Now she finds joy and peace outside of organized religion in a state of "theological fluidity". We swap stories of our intense religious upbringings, geek out about the literary richness of the bible and relate on giving up our former God-ordained mean girl ways. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before we dive into the Mormon influencer phenomenon, Kylie and I discuss her upbringing as a Utah non-Mormon who went to Catholic school. We compare the differences between what we learned about Jesus, swap sex education stories and analyze Kylie's burning question about whether or not Mormons think she's going to hell. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grief is a beast and adding a post-Mormon layer makes it even more confusing and complicated. After Maddy’s dad died, she has deconstructed not only her ideas of death, but also of life. We speak about the ways Mormons tend to handle loss and how Maddy’s approach has been vastly different. There are no easy answers, but there is a lot of discovery, hope and life along the way.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last year Maddy's dad suddenly and unexpectedly died. Today she opens up about what it's like to experience such an immense loss, especially so fresh after deconstructing Mormonism. But before we dive into the nitty gritty of grief, we back up and talk about Maddy’s Mormon story and what led her to eventually leave the church (which includes a roommate turned romantic partner, a penchant for plant medicine and much more). --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It doesn't get more quintessentially Mormon than a low-budget cultural hall wedding reception between two 20-year-olds who've known each other for a few months. Or so I thought, until I read the wedding story submissions for today's episode. I give the lay of the land on Mormon wedding culture before diving into the stories which include a temple ceremony panic attack, a mid-wedding-day loss of virginity and a sibling mega-wedding that should've made it on CNN. Enjoy! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Growing up Mormon comes with some baggage and Indy Blue opens up about what it's been like for her to unpack. She speaks about her experience facing judgment as a teen on the internet, how her now-husband helped her see a life outside of Mormonism and how she's expanded her spirituality since leaving. We also discuss why we're both trying to tap more into our feminine energy and how Barbie functions as a perfect Mormon metaphor. Join us! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your wife leaves the LDS church and your whole world is upended? Zac Hayward speaks in today's episode to the believing side of a mixed-faith marriage before he also eventually left. We discuss in-depth the harmful rhetoric around those who leave, his hopes to become mission president and the role of church history in deconstruction. And there may be a tear or two shed along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laura Danger of ThatDarnChat lends her expertise on creating an equitable split of the domestic labor, especially for those of us raised religious with very restrictive views on gender roles. We talk about my viral Mother's Day video calling out "all men", what to do if your partner thinks they're helping out around the house more than they really are, how women can learn to prioritize their own needs and all that's illuminated in buying a pool floaty. Fair Play: https://www.fairplaylife.com/ Emotional Labor book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Labor-Invisible-Shaping-Lives/dp/1250777356 Where to find Laura: @thatdarnchat @timetoleanpod --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Reagan Curtis joins me to dissect what goes down at BYU - the good, the bad and the beard cards. As THE Mormon religious university, looking at BYU culture sheds light on a lot of things about Mormonism generally. We dig into rogue firesides led by progressive professors, outdated religious ideas passed off as academia and landlords who report their tenants for... well, you'll just have to listen and find out. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mormon in-laws are, well, Mormon in-lawing. Today we're unpacking stories about raspberry leaf tea drama, a MIL refusing to wash tanktops and a wedding that grandpa refused to attend. Along the way I share about my own in-law situation, where I'm at with deconstructing Christianity and how I'm feeling hormonally. You never know what you're gonna get, but that's how we like it here at Girlscamp. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bentley is back at Girlscamp! We share our reactions to your post-Mormon starter pack submissions (the classic steps of leaving the church, "must-haves" and "must-dos" and all of the post-Mo stereotypes). Along the way we chat everything from Game of Thrones to Skims underwear to Starbucks orders to the differences between a Mormon and a post-Mormon sex life. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I hope you have your bonnets and bloomers ready, because this week we're diving in to all the wild things that went down on Mormon trek. Listeners beware, there is some true trauma. But there's some lighthearted trek craziness along the trail as well. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By popular demand, Jaci Marie Smith comes to Girlscamp! I was honored to sit down with Jaci and talk through her story of leaving Mormonism. She shares about her relationship to religion growing up, her reasons for stepping away and how she chooses to share on a very public platform about her post-Mormon journey now. And of course, we can't help but frequently mention how we're in our hoe era. Jaci is an icon and an inspiration and now she's a camper too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready to get enchanted by Ash Adams. Ash shares the spiritual path she took from ultra-traditional Mormon (and self-proclaimed Duggar wannabe) to palm reader with a deeply expansive view of spirituality. Among other things, we compare palm readings and patriarchal blessings, share predictions of the future of the LDS church and dive into how deeply rooted Mormonism is in our identities. Chatting with Ash was deeply spiritually enlightening to me. I can't wait for you to listen in. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gather 'round the fire for a good old girls camp testimony meeting. But this time, we're doing it our way! I share your testimonies of moving on from Mormonism- what you've learned, what you've gained, how you've found peace. There's talk of not paying tithing, finding lost items, parental relationships and so much more. No promises, but you may feel the post-Mormon spirit burning in your bosom. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kadie comes on the pod today to share her experience leaving the Mormon church and then discovering she is transgender. She tells about growing up in a religion with strict gender constructs, deciding to serve a mission despite some Reddit discoveries about Mormonism, getting married at BYU and then divorced, and how she ultimately realized she is transgender. While her experience as a transgender woman is unique, her journey of self discovery and embracing who she is will resonate with all of us campers. IG: @1kadenweber --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Magic underwear, Jesus jammies, angel chaps... that's right, we're talking about Mormon garments. And boy is there a lot to cover. And there WAS a lot covered when I was a garment wearing gal myself. We talk through a lil' history of garments, what it was like to wear them (think body image issues, sensory problems, general discomfort) and what it's been like to stop wearing them. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready to step into your feminine rage as we talk about all things Mormon modesty. First I tell my own tale of modesty run ins as a Mormon teen and then we dive into your experiences. There are stories of t-shirts required over swimsuits, stapling fabric onto knee length skirts and an 8-year-old being chastised for wearing spaghetti straps. The conclusion? Modest is not, in fact, hottest. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come hang with Sal Osborne and I! Sal gives us campers a behind the scenes look at what went into her Hulu documentary Mormon No More. She shares more insight into her upbringing, why she left the church and where she's at now. We talk about divorce, raising kids outside of religion, confessions in a Mormon mom friend's mini van, becoming post-Mormon pioneers and much, much more. P.S. The sound is a little wonky in some places on this one- I'm sorry! I'm still learning the ropes of virtual interviews, thank you for bearing with me! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ty French is here and he did not come to play! We walk through his whole story- coming out, leaving Mormonism and finding his dream life in LA. We discuss the LDS view of "loving your neighbor", having hard faith conversations with friends, the weirdness of Utah soda shops and the dead giveaways of a post-Mormon. Pardon our French, or don't! We don't care, we're just having a good time unpacking our religious trauma and laughing along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The ethereal Rachel Brockbank (artist and native name Tishmal) graces Girlscamp today with her post-Mormon story. She shares of her struggles with the church while in it, how love led her out of it and how her music is a diary of all the emotion along the way. She also speaks to her Native heritage and how that informs her spiritual journey both then and now. I was hanging on to her every word! I know you will be too.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No more unauthorized therapizing by yours truly - today we are joined by an actual therapist! Danielle Calder specializes in religious trauma and faith transition and she's here to answer all of your Qs on those topics. She speaks from professional experience, but also from her personal experience as a post-Mormon woman in a mixed-faith marriage. We discuss how to tell your parents about your faith transition, overcoming religious phobias and even get into all the complexity of Exmo TikTok. Get ready to get healing! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary Placeholder Episode ID: 68893276 Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Girlscamp? More like boys camp! This week we've got a panel of guys to give us an inside view on their post-Mormon male perspective. Bentley, Jed and Kallen open up about a whole range of topics including unpacking a patriarchal upbringing, dealing with shame around sex/masturbation and rediscovering their identity away from the church. They are vulnerable and honest and- fair warning- more than once they burst simultaneously into song. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If parenting weren't complicated enough, throw post-Mormonism into the mix! This week I discuss what I hope to teach my kids, how I face the fear of raising children outside of organized religion and all the ways I've reimagined motherhood since leaving Mormonism. I also share about my infertility journey and how it coincided with my path out of the church. I may ramble on for a bit about perceptions of "post-Mormon people" and squaring up with Jeffrey R. Holland on Instagram as well. All in a days work here at Girlscamp! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Purity culture failed us and *effed* us big time and Ellen Young and I share plenty of examples to prove it. Some highlights: tingly "devils lube", a girls camp chant about growing bigger boobs and sexually impure women being compared to a poopy brownie (you read that right) during Sunday school. It's a wild ride! Ultimately, as Ellen says herself "pleasure is a human right" and we're all trying to figure out how to reclaim that energy and undo all the other stuff. So let's have a little fun on the journey there. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has Girlscamp peaked so soon?! This week the enchanting Madi Murphy of The Bad Broadcast tells all re:leaving Mormonism. Along the ride she talks about embracing the anger phase, finding truth in Pixar movies and why she thinks we’re all so obsessed with each other’s faith status. We also relate on being reformed judgmental bitches. Madi has such good insight into the faith journey process and I bet you’ll leave the convo feeling understood and inspired- I definitely did. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I pushed through some serious laryngitis to bring you today's episode with our mixed-faith mentor, Jacquelyn Covey. Jacquelyn shares her story starting out as a teen bride, going through a deeply challenging mixed-faith marriage and coming out on the other side closer to her partner and herself than before. She has tools galore that are applicable in any mixed-faith relationship (aka all relationships). Stay tuned 'till the end for an important note about the episode and a bonus late night ramble from yours truly about some of the emotions I've been experiencing around podcasting lately. xoxo Girlscamp girl  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we talk about first time experiences with all the Mormon forbidden substances. There's stories about getting high at Disneyland, enlisting a mentor before having a drink at a work party and going to "coffee church" every Sunday morning. I discuss how I navigate drugs and alcohol as a post-Mormon who grew up around substance abuse. And I defend my preference for Diet Coke over coffee. There may not be many words to the wise, but there are many words about the Word of Wisdom.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

McKenna Petty comes to Girlscamp to tell us about her experience getting spiritual answers that contradicted what she was raised to believe. We talk about what spirituality means to us now, why the temple is so stressful and warn against the Joseph Smiths of our day. Basically, we’re just a couple of best friends talking about how good we feel to have reconnected to our spiritual selves again- especially when it’s with a glass of wine at a communal dinner. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen and be graced by the wisdom of Chelsea Homer! Chelsea chats all about how to tap into community and form healthy and fulfilling friendships after leaving the structure of the Mormon church. She also shares about what it’s like to leave the church publicly, why her honeymoon was a bit of a train wreck and how she and her husband navigated a mixed-faith marriage. Bonus: A creative hack if you ever find yourself with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew. Faith Journey Meetups Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1290631704424963 Lost and Found Club: https://www.instagram.com/lostandfound.club/ Marriage on a Tightrope: https://www.instagram.com/marriageonatightrope/ Uplift Kids: https://www.instagram.com/upliftkids/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tommy Johnson is on the pod today to react to your wild (and troubling) tales from your Mormon missions. We cover rebel missionary groups, militaristic mission presidents, a Joseph Smith shrine and companions who bite… literally. Let’s heal from our mission trauma together! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’m joined by the first guest of the pod- my husband, Bentley Rawle! We chat candidly about what it’s like to marry as (very) young Mormons and then leave the church together. There’s talk of sex and substances, gender roles and guilt. We even share our hot takes on ex-Mormon swingers. Come along for the ride! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I left the Mormon church, now what? Well it turns out, as the Pinterest graphics suggest, sometimes the end is just a beginning. I talk this week about my new beliefs, wearing a tank top for the first time, navigating post-Mormon anger and telling my family I left the church at a public restaurant. And, of course, there are some existential musings along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s inaugural episode, we’re talking about the vision for the Girlscamp podcast (hint: community and connection) and all the weird things that bubble up when you start talking about post-Mormonism publicly. Then things get a bit vulnerable as I dive into the how, why and when I left the Mormon church. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices