How to Have Better Sex with Vanessa & Xander Marin (@vanessaandxander)
Podcast: Conversations with CamPublished On: Wed Mar 11 2026
Description: In this episode, I sit down with sex therapist Vanessa and her husband Xander (from @vanessaandxander) to talk all things sex, intimacy, and relationships. We dive deep into how our upbringings shape our comfort around sex and why having open conversations around it is so important. Vanessa & Xander break down the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why mismatched libidos are totally normal, and how pleasure should be at the center of our sex lives. We get real about navigating sex after kids, using toys, and why foreplay doesn’t just start in the bedroom. Vanessa and Xander share practical tips on initiating sex, communicating needs with your partner, and the positions that actually work best.Key Takeaway / Points:What libido mismatch really means (and why it’s normal)The different types of sexual desire (spontaneous vs. responsive)Practical ways to initiate sex and navigate rejection from your partnerHow couples can reconnect even during “survival mode” as parentsThe role of toys and romance novels in your sex lifeSex beyond intercourse and the importance of focusing on pleasureWhy faking orgasms is so common amongst womenVanessa & Xander’s take on scheduled sex and why it can be healthy for couplesHow foreplay starts in the kitchenQuickie sex questions: favorite positions, time of day, music vs. silence, and moreLink to the Tabu pillow HERE, use code PILLOWTALKS for 10% offUltimate foreplay guide HEREUltimate sex guide HEREListen to their podcast Pillow Talks HEREFollow Vanessa & Xander:Instagram: @vanessaandxanderTikTok: @vanessaandxanderWebsite: vmtherapy.comFollow me:Instagram: @cameronoaksrogersSubstack: Fill Your CupWebsite: cameronoaksrogers.comTikTok: @cameronoaksrogersYoutube: Cameron Rogers
The note was deleted
The note was saved
Your message was sent