Women at Work: You’re Not Too Much, They’re Not Enough
Women at Work: You’re Not Too Much, They’re Not Enough  
Podcast: You're Not Too Much
Published On: Wed Sep 02 2026
Description: Every time I talk publicly about being a woman at work, the first response is the same. It’s never "that sounds hard." It’s "well, I had a terrible boss once, and she was a woman."Yeah. Okay. Women are allowed to suck, too. Plenty of men suck and we just accept that as fine.So this episode is about the two women you’re allowed to be in a workplace that was not built for you. The one who shrinks to fit — who gets told she’s too big, too loud, too many ideas, and folds all of it up inside herself, hands her ideas to somebody else so they’ll get heard, stops saying the thing she knows is going to go wrong. And the one who strikes to kill — who was taught there’s only ever room for one of her, so she leaves no space for the next one coming up behind.They’re the same woman. Same message, two ways out. You are not allowed here, you should feel lucky we let you in, and if you’re uncomfortable with how we do things then you should shut up or leave.I’ve talked to thousands of women over the last five years who live inside that, and I lived inside it myself. I’m the person who had to hand her idea to the nearest male coworker because it would be taken seriously from him and ignored from me.All of that is evidence of a problem with the workplace. It is not evidence of a problem with you.You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. Nobody is going to make them do the work to find out why you’re such a threat, so you’re going to stay a threat — but you do not have to make yourself smaller to fix something you didn’t break. You’ve been the same person the whole time.You are not too much. They are not enough.Plus: breaking news on the semicolon rant, in which four actual English professors turn up to tell me I was right. And an Ask L2 from Kieran, who wants an exemption from the don’t-fight-with-pigs rule for a pig who owes him $4,000.CHAPTERS00:00:00 "You are not allowed here"00:00:23 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much00:00:37 What always happens when I talk about women at work00:01:08 Women are allowed to suck, too00:01:46 I wish you the success of the mediocre white male00:02:25 Persona one: the woman who shrinks to fit00:04:13 Persona two: the woman who strikes to kill00:05:09 Both of those are the same thing00:06:37 Thousands of women, same paradigm00:07:57 Give it to your nearest male coworker00:08:19 A problem with the workplace, not a problem with you00:08:28 You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated.00:09:03 What you actually owe a job you need00:09:44 You are not too much00:10:04 They are not enough00:10:57 Do enough to survive, then find a place that doesn’t suck00:11:05 Ten thousand levers you don’t need to pull00:11:20 You’ve been the same person the whole time00:11:55 Your five to nine is better than your nine to five00:12:03 A toxic waste dump and no hazmat suit00:12:31 What professionalism actually means00:12:57 Why the show is now called You’re Not Too Much00:13:25 Breaking news: the semicolon rant, vindicated00:15:26 Ask L2 — "This pig owes me $4,000"00:16:37 You can have whatever tone you want00:17:15 The strongly worded emailEvery episode: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.comLeave me a voicemail: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemailCome find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com