I speak with Stephanie Harrigan, a certified speech language pathologist with nearly fifteen years of experience working with the neurodiverse population, to talk about selective mutism, feeding therapy and more.Stephanie brings a regulation-first, child-led approach to all of her work, and this conversation is full of concrete examples from her practice, including what feeding therapy actually looks like when it follows the child's lead, how she has worked with selectively mute children, and what she has seen happen to communication when behavioral pressure is removed.We also talk about how to advocate effectively with a school team and what research Stephanie uses when making the case for a non-behavioral approach.Stephanie can be reached at Inclusive Minds Educational Consulting via inclusivemindsllc@gmail.com.She also shared some links to research and resources:https://scerts.com/https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_laurent_compliance_is_not_the_goal_letting_go_of_control_and_rethinking_support_for_autistic_individualshttps://tiltparenting.com/2025/01/21/episode-424-creating-neurodiversity-affirming-schools-with-amanda-morin-emily-kircher-morris/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9601143/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4515208/https://aane.org/autism-info-faqs/library/restoring-the-autistic-nervous-system-a-gentle-path-to-regulation/Key TakeawaysRegulation Before Skills, Always | 00:07:00 Stephanie describes how her approach across all of her work, whether feeding, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) speech therapy, or selective mutism, starts with regulation. She references her time at the Center for Discovery, where the entire program was built on the belief that sensory and emotional regulation is the foundation. Without it, she says, everything else crumbles. She uses the analogy of a house: regulation is the foundation, and speech and communication goals sit on top of it. What Child-Led Feeding Therapy Looks Like | 00:18:32 Stephanie gives two concrete examples from her feeding therapy work. One student only ate hot dogs at age sixteen. Rather than introducing new foods directly, she used the student's interest in small figurines to interact playfully with food. Another student loved baking but would not eat what they made, so they baked together and delivered food across campus. Stephanie explains that child-led feeding therapy means finding the child's special interest and embedding it into the work, with no timeline for progress and no pressure toward any specific outcome. Selective Mutism and the Role of Safety | 00:24:28 Stephanie describes working with a kindergarten student who was described by staff as someone who never spoke. In her first session with him, he spoke immediately. She attributes this to the felt safety she worked to establish before anything else. She describes how she uses a total communication approach, honors every form of communication including grunting and hissing, and matches the child's energy rather than bringing high excitement.AAC Is Not a Last Resort | 00:30:29 Stephanie explains what AAC is and pushes back on the common concern that using a device will prevent a child from learning to speak. She draws a parallel to what Casey describes with PDA children more broadly: the issue is often not that the child lacks the ability, but that at times stress and sensory dysregulation are blocking access to that ability. She describes seeing communication expand when sensory needs were addressed first, and frames AAC as one tool in a total communication approach rather than a replacement for speech.How to Work With a School Team as a PDA Parent | 00:48:57 Stephanie's advice for parents trying to collaborate with a school team is to not be afraid to advocate. She says she has never viewed a parent as challenging, and that strong advocacy is not only a parent's right but something she personally appreciates. She suggests sharing resources from a place of curiosity rather than confrontation, asking for the team's expertise, and framing questions as "I found this and I'm curious what you think" rather than leading with disagreement.Relevant ResourcesWhat Is PDA — Foundation for understanding the nervous system lens Stephanie and Casey shareSchool, Screens and Siblings — A free class relevant for families navigating school-based challenges discussed in this episodeUnderstanding PDA — A free class for deeper context on regulation and autonomy

This is the fourth episode in my series on PDA and restrictive eating, and this one is for therapists. If you are an occupational therapist, a speech language pathologist, or another type of therapist working with a child who isn't responding to gentle, play-based, sensory-based, or exposure-based feeding approaches the way you'd expect, this episode designed to help you. I share the full arc of my older son Cooper's journey with extremely restrictive eating, from the time he was four and a half years old and eating primarily three processed foods, through five years of occupational therapy, to where he is today. I walk through how we adapted the SOS feeding protocol over time to incorporate autonomy, equality, lower demands, play, and connection to special interests. I also share five specific strategies you can bring into your sessions.Key TakeawaysThe Sensory Lens Is Not Enough | 00:02:04 I share how Cooper's restrictive eating was initially understood through a sensory lens, and how, for about a year and a half, that framing guided his therapy. But the sensory lens alone was not sufficient to explain the patterns I was seeing or to help him expand his eating. What I came to understand was that his survival drive for autonomy was also a major factor, and that the two had to be held together rather than treated separately.What Was and Was Not Working | 00:11:56 I walk through what was working in the early stages of occupational therapy, specifically the therapist's focus on establishing relationship and rapport before moving to skill acquisition, and the role that dopamine, novelty, and sensory-intense experiences played in Cooper's initial engagement. I also describe what was not working: visual schedules and laminated choice boards, pressure to describe sensory experiences verbally, and structured home-based feeding protocols. For a PDA child, I explain, even chosen structure can become an internal demand.Autonomy and Equality as Accommodations | 00:16:37 I describe two specific accommodations that became central to how we approached feeding therapy over five years: autonomy and equality. Autonomy meant shifting away from scheduled, structured feeding time and toward strewing, declarative language, and following Cooper's lead. Equality meant deliberately allowing him to win, be above the therapist and me in games, direct the session, and have the last word. I explain how these accommodations address the root cause of nervous system activation rather than managing the surface behavior.Lowering Demands in the Session | 00:29:35 I describe what it looked like to lower demands in the occupational therapy session itself, meaning doing things for Cooper that he was cognitively or physically capable of doing himself, so that his available capacity could go toward tolerating and engaging with food. I give specific examples and I address the common concern that this approach enables children rather than building independence, and explain why the logic is different for PDA.Special Interests as a Turning Point | 00:37:06 I describe the turning point in Cooper's feeding therapy, which came when eating became connected to his special interest in football. I explain how this connection made it possible to revisit things he had previously rejected, including the laminated food charts, but this time entirely on his terms. I also offer five specific strategies for therapists at the end of the episode.Relevant ResourcesFree Therapist Masterclass — Free class for OTs and therapists on PDA.What Is PDA? — Overview of PDA as a nervous system disability.Paradigm Shift Program —Our signature live coaching program where we walk families as they implement accommodations and move forward.

If you've heard me talk about autonomy, equality, and lowering demands before and thought, "But what does that actually look like at the dinner table?" — this episode is for you.This is the third episode in my series on eating and PDA, and it's the most practical one yet. I'm walking you through six concrete accommodations you can experiment with if your PDA child or teen struggles with restrictive eating: autonomy, equality, lowering demands, sensory accommodations, strewing, and novelty and dopamine. Throughout the episode, I share anonymized client anecdotes and real examples from my own life as a mother of two PDA sons — including how our family navigated mealtimes during the hardest years and what things look like now.This episode is meant to be an experiment you can try out and observe, not a prescription. I hope it it's helpful for you.Key TakeawaysWhy Restrictive Eating Happens | 00:00:00 Before getting into the practical tips, I revisit the causal logic for why eating is so often impacted in PDA children and teens. Control around eating tends to be the outcome of cumulative nervous system stress, and is often an attempt to reset autonomy and equality when a child can't find it in other areas of their life.Autonomy Around What, Where, When, How, and If | 00:03:43 I break down autonomy into five buckets — what, where, when, how, and if a child eats — and explain how each one shows up in practice. This includes examples from my own home, like allowing my son to eat in front of a screen for years, delivering food on demand, offering a buffet of options, and giving treats before or with meals without attaching conditions.Equality and Why It Matters at the Table | 00:22:41 I walk through what I mean by equality as a nervous system accommodation around food — not as a philosophical concept, but as something you can observe and act on. I share the story of how our family friend houseguests helped re-establish family dinners, and how my son Cooper started joining us at the table by running a drawing game where he was the judge and ranked all of us — an equality accommodation I sustained for about a year.Lowering Demands and the Sensory Intersection | 00:27:56 I explain what lowering demands actually means in the context of eating: doing things for your child they could technically do themselves, in service of helping them access food. I share examples like packing a 16-year-old's lunch, delivering pizza reheated to the exact right temperature, cutting crusts off bread, and wiping out Tupperware to eliminate even a molecule of moisture.Strewing, Novelty, and Dopamine | 00:35:51 I cover strewing — leaving food out without expectation — and why it works differently from direct offerings. I also share how we used novelty and dopamine in my son's feeding therapy, including a "game show" approach to sampling every variety of apple, and cutting apples into stars or making apple pasta with a Zoodler. I end with my hypothesis about why PDA individuals tend to seek dopamine, and what that means for how we can think about introducing foods.Relevant ResourcesWhat Is PDA — Background on PDA as a nervous system disabilityUnderstanding PDA — Deeper dive into PDA frameworks and accommodationsParadigm Shift Program — Our signature live coaching program where we walk with families as they implement accommodations and move their family forward.

In this episode — Part 2 of our series on eating and PDA — I walk through the 10 misconceptions about eating that I personally had to unlearn in order to help my son. These are beliefs that are completely reasonable for most children and even most neurodivergent children, but do not apply to pathologically demand avoidant kids and teens. I cover why "kids will eat when they're hungry" isn't empirically true for PDAers, why behavioral approaches (even gentle ones) can backfire, why restricting sugar may not be the strategy you think it is, and why looking at eating in isolation misses the bigger picture of cumulative nervous system stress.I also share what the research does and doesn't tell us, where the methodology gaps are when it comes to neurodivergence, and what has actually changed in our home over the years. If the approaches you've been trying aren't working — or are making things worse — this episode is for you.Key TakeawaysPDA Kids Won't Just "Eat When Hungry" | 00:05:52 I explain how PDA is defined by a survival drive for autonomy and equality that consistently overrides other survival instincts — including hunger. Even when a child is physiologically hungry, the internalized demand of needing to eat, combined with cumulative nervous system stress, can make eating impossible.Behavioral Methods Activate the Nervous System | 00:09:20 I walk through why behavioral approaches to feeding — including gentle ones like sticker charts, food rewards, or even subtly positive facial expressions — can backfire with PDA children. Because PDA is rooted in threat perception tied to autonomy, any method where a parent or therapist is the "decider" can trigger a nervous system response that makes eating harder, not easier.Restrictive Eating Is a Symptom, Not the Problem | 00:14:33 I describe how restrictive eating is often a tipping point — a symptom of cumulative nervous system stress that has built up over weeks, months, and sometimes years. Rather than focusing only on what happens at the moment of eating, I explain why it's important to look at the full picture of a child's daily life and accommodate across the board.Sensory Strategies Alone Won't Transform Eating | 00:26:15 I share how sensory-based feeding approaches, even fun and play-based ones, can still backfire if there isn't enough autonomy built in. I use an example from my own son's feeding therapy to illustrate how the lack of autonomy around engaging in a sensory protocol was causing him to avoid even the activities he enjoyed.Sugar, Bento Boxes, and Family Meals Reconsidered | 00:31:09 I go through several misconceptions I personally had to unlearn — including the idea that sugar is the main enemy, that colorful bento box meals represent good parenting, and that home-cooked family meals at regular times naturally lead to healthy eating. I share how I came to think about these differently for PDA children, including what actually changed in my own home over time.Relevant ResourcesWhat is PDA - a foundational overview of PDA as a nervous system disability.Free Burnout Masterclass - understand the burnout that can make restrictive eating so challenging for PDA kids.Paradigm Shift Program® - our signature live program where we support parents to help their PDA children and teens through and out of burnout so their whole family can thrive.CitationsLove Me, Feed Me - book by Katja Rowell.Schaefer, Michael, et al. "Experiencing sweet taste is associated with an increase in prosocial behavior." Scientific Reports 13.1 (2023): 1954.Hammons, Amber J., and Barbara H. Fiese. "Is frequency of shared family meals related to the nutritional health of children and adolescents?" Pediatrics 127.6 (2011): e1565-e1574.

If your child has dropped food after food, won't try new things no matter what you do, and every mealtime feels like a battle — this episode is the first in a four-part series where I get personal.I'm sharing the story of my oldest son Cooper, who at his lowest point was eating only Honey Nut Cheerios out of a single specific bowl. I walked through grocery store aisles sobbing, frantically looking for protein bars he might eat. I watched him go through the SOS feeding protocol in occupational therapy and add foods only to drop them again. I tried sneaking vitamins into his chocolate milk. Nothing was gaining traction — and I didn't understand why.In this first episode, I walk you through the years before I had a PDA lens: my own food-focused parenting, the Montessori methods I tried that he refused, the escalating meltdowns around eating, the developmental pediatrician who shamed me for not cooking every meal from scratch, and the moment I finally understood that the root cause of Cooper's eating struggles was not primarily sensory — it was autonomy and equality based.I also talk about what happened when I stopped the SOS feeding protocol, lowered demands around food, and gave him true autonomy around what, when, and where he ate — and what his eating looks like seven years later.This episode is for parents currently in the fear of it, for parents whose children have been diagnosed with ARFID or anorexia and haven't responded to traditional approaches, and for feeding therapists and other professionals who are wondering if there is another way to think about what they're seeing.This is also the first episode in a four-part series. Part 2 covers the logic of viewing eating through a PDA lens. Part 3 covers practical accommodation strategies. Part 4 is tailored specifically to feeding therapy settings.Key TakeawaysThe mango slice that changed everything | 00:07:29 Cooper was about four and a half when he wanted a third or fourth mango slice and I said no. He physically fought me for it, and it escalated into a two-hour screaming meltdown. After that, he refused to eat mango slices entirely — dropping yet another food from his repertoire. That moment was one of the first times I saw the pattern, though I didn't have a framework for it yet.Why the SOS feeding protocol stopped working | 00:16:05 We started the SOS protocol — a 30-step sensory-based exposure approach — and early on it was progressing. Looking back, I understand now that there was novelty, one-on-one attention, and a lot of autonomy built into the early stages because he didn't have to actually eat anything. But when we moved the protocol into the home during the pandemic, the novelty and dopamine were gone, and the rigid structure became something his nervous system perceived as a demand. He stopped engaging entirely.Dropping foods rather than expanding them | 00:19:43 The occupational therapist noticed an unusual pattern: every time Cooper added a new adjacent food through sensory bridging, he dropped the one he had previously been eating. His repertoire wasn't expanding — it was staying flat. Through the PDA lens, I later understood that this was him exerting control to get back to nervous system safety: always needing to be in the position of the decider.The grocery store moment | 00:23:06 I was standing in the aisle of a grocery store frantically picking out protein bars in birthday cake and double fudge brownie flavors, anything I could have in my back pocket for him to potentially eat. I was sobbing. I had watched him drop chocolate milk — his one reliable source of protein. I didn't understand why nothing was working. That moment was when I knew that the frameworks I'd been using didn't apply.What shifted — and what seven years looks like | 00:26:46 When I finally understood that the root cause was autonomy and equality based — not primarily sensory — I made the decision to stop the SOS protocol, lower demands around food completely, and give him true autonomy: letting him choose what, when, where, and whether he ate, even if that meant Lay's potato chips, Pirate's Booty, and popcorn for almost two years. It was hard. There were moments I reverted, and I could immediately observe his eating reduce. But slowly, he began adding things back. Seven years later he eats carrots, apples, tacos, steak, salmon, pork shoulder, smoothies, pizza, and more — alongside processed food — and he is healthy and growing.Relevant ResourcesWhat is PDA? — Start here for a foundational overview.Free Burnout Masterclass — Cooper's eating crisis happened in burnout — learn more about burnout here.Is My Child PDA? — Take the free survey and/or class to help figure this out.

In this episode, I coach Danielle, a mom from North Idaho who is newer to the PDA lens and has already been making progress with her almost nine-year-old son — but is running into resistance from her husband and her parents, who help with caregiving. Her son has existing diagnoses of ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and disorganized attachment, and was adopted from South Korea. Since discovering PDA a few months ago, Danielle says everything clicked in a way that previous frameworks hadn't.Her question: how do you get the other adults in your child's life on board — and how do you trust yourself — when the people around you see things through a lens of disrespect and shame?We talk through why PDA is so hard for other adults to believe, especially because of masking and the fact that the child's most intense behaviors tend to happen with the safest person in the home. I walk Danielle through the PLATO framework for making nonviolent communication requests — specifically, how to make a concrete, bounded request of her parents and husband without needing them to believe in PDA at all. We also talk about how to track three observable indicators — connection, nervous system activation, and access to basic needs — so that the approach becomes an experiment with data rather than a philosophical debate.Danielle also shares a moment where her son described what it feels like in his body when he's activated: "like a big animal trapped in a small cage, and all I can do is fight to get out." And she shares that he has already started using the language of regulation and dysregulation on his own.Key TakeawaysWhy the primary caregiver is usually leading the charge [00:02:02] I normalize the pattern Danielle is describing — where the primary caregiver, usually the woman in the home, is leading the charge on PDA because she feels the nervous system cost of demands and boundaries viscerally, while other adults don't have the same day-to-day experience.Why PDA is so hard for other adults to believe [00:08:31] I explain why PDA is especially hard for other adults to get on board with: because of masking, the child may appear fine or even well-attached in settings outside the home, which leads observers to conclude that the parent is a pushover — rather than recognizing that the child is internalizing the threat response and that activation is still accumulating.Using the PLATO framework with grandparents [00:17:04] I walk Danielle through the PLATO framework (Person, Location, Action, Timing, Object) for making a nonviolent communication request to her parents — specifically, asking them not to step in when her son says rude things at the dinner table. I explain that the request doesn't require them to believe in PDA; it only asks whether they're willing to try something for a bounded period of time.Turning a skeptical spouse into an experiment partner [00:34:52] I discuss how to approach Danielle's husband, who has been resistant and told her to stop "putting labels" on their son's behavior. I suggest framing it as a two-week experiment: asking him to view the behavior through the PDA lens and track three observable indicators — connection, nervous system activation, and access to basic needs — so the conversation is grounded in data rather than diagnosis.A child names his own threat response [00:50:26] Danielle shares that her son has already begun using the language of dysregulation and regulation on his own — and that when she asked him what it feels like in his body when he gets upset, he told her: "It feels like I'm a big animal trapped in a small cage, and all I can do is fight to get out."

This is the first episode in a new behind-the-scenes series I am doing with Kendall, one of the coaches on the At Peace Parents team. Each month, we pull back the curtain on our own lives as parents who are practicing the same skills we teach, and on what these principles look like inside real coaching work with families.This episode is about radical acceptance: what it actually means, why it matters specifically for PDA families, and what it looks like in practice, not as an abstract concept, but in the messy, everyday moments of parenting a demand avoidant child.We start by defining radical acceptance through Tara Brach's framework, which I read directly from her book in this episode. From there, Kendall and I talk through what it has looked like in our own homes, including sleep arrangements, regressions that feel like they will never end, and the particular kind of grief that comes when you realize the approach you have been using is not working.I also share a detailed example from my work with a family whose six-year-old son was in deep burnout and engaging in a compulsive behavior around toileting. Kendall shares a case from her own coaching practice involving a child with food preoccupation and toileting difficulties whose parents had already been trying many of the right things but were still, unknowingly, maintaining an energetic pressure that the child's nervous system was picking up as a threat.We also address several misconceptions about radical acceptance that I hear regularly, including the idea that accepting your child means accepting harmful behavior toward a sibling, and the idea that if a decision is right for your family, your PDA child should be able to handle it without activation.This one is for the parents who are already doing the work and still feel like something is not quite landing.Key TakeawaysWhat Radical Acceptance Actually Means | 00:07:00 I read directly from Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance to ground the definition. Radical acceptance is not about approving of what is happening or giving permission for it to continue. It is about seeing clearly what is true in the present moment, in your own body and experience, without avoidance, control, or judgment, and then bringing compassion to what you find. It starts with the parent, not with the child.The Sacred Pause as a Practical Tool | 00:15:00 Kendall and I both describe how we use the sacred pause in our own homes when a difficult moment arises. The practice involves noticing a thought or feeling as it is, placing it on a leaf in a river or a wave in the ocean, and then welcoming it without judgment before moving into any action. I give a concrete example from my own experience doing floor-time play with my older son, including the physical sensations and intrusive thoughts I was having in those sessions.When Lowering Demands Is Not Enough | 00:22:00 Kendall shares a case from her coaching work involving a child whose parents had already pulled him from school, were bringing him food on request, and had done significant research on PDA. The behaviors around food and toileting were not improving. What Kendall identified was that the parents were still maintaining an energetic vigilance, tracking plates of food, cueing bathroom use, that the child's nervous system was registering as pressure. The shift came when the parents stopped tracking and stopped cueing, and the child's internal awareness began to return.Radical Acceptance With Compulsive Behaviors | 00:32:00 I describe working with a family whose six-year-old in burnout had developed a compulsive behavior involving poop. Every intervention, including anxiety medication, behavioral approaches, and prompting, was making the behavior more entrenched and more hidden. The turning point came when the parents accepted, in their bodies, that their current approach was not working. From that place, they shifted their focus to what they could actually control: changing clothes, bringing water, cleaning the space daily. Over the following months, the behavior diminished significantly.Misconceptions About Radical Acceptance | 00:42:33 Kendall and I address the most common pushback we hear from parents. The first is the belief that they already accept their child, which is often true as love, but does not address acceptance of the trade-offs that PDA brings to daily life. The second is the belief that radical acceptance means tolerating a sibling being harmed. We clarify that you can still take action to protect another child while accepting that the action will likely increase your PDA child's activation in the moment. Accepting the disability means accepting that this is how their nervous system responds, even when you make the right call for your family.Relevant ResourcesParadigm Shift Program — Where Casey and Kendall teach radical acceptance alongside accommodationsBurnout — Context for families whose child is in the burnout Casey describes in this episodeMeet the Coaches — Learn more about Kendall and the At Peace Parents coaching team

In this episode, I coach Pam, a mom raising fraternal twin 10-year-old boys, both PDA and autistic, who present and react quite differently from each other.We talk through the socialization questions: what gets in the way, what actually helps, and why the issue for many PDA kids is not a lack of social skills but a nervous system that cannot access those skills in the moment.I introduce the concept of therapeutic equalizing and what it can look like as a daily practice at home. We also spend time on the harder, less tactical piece: what it means to stay in the energy of non-attachment when you have tried everything and your kids still did not go to the Dungeons and Dragons group.Key TakeawaysTwo PDA Boys, Two Different Presentations | 00:03:06 Pam describes how her twin boys, both PDA and autistic, present quite differently in the world. One masks heavily and comes across as capable and attitude-driven. The other shows his struggle more visibly and has been out of school since grade one. I use this as a starting point for the importance of not grouping two PDA kids together even when they share the same diagnosis, and why the expectations and experiments for each may need to start from different places. Why Socialization Struggles Are Not a Skills Problem | 00:19:34 For many PDA kids, the barrier to socialization is not that they lack the understanding of social norms. It is that their nervous system tips into threat perception in social situations, which blocks access to the skills they do have. I give the example of a child who understands not to call someone stupid but does it anyway when another kid grabs the controller, because the response is automatic, not chosen. What improves this over time is reducing cumulative nervous system activation, not practicing social skills in isolation.Therapeutic Equalizing as a Daily Practice | 00:27:30 I introduce the concept of therapeutic equalizing: intentionally creating space each day for a PDA child to be dominant, to criticize, correct, and control a trusted adult, while that adult responds with lightness, self-deprecating humor, and full acceptance. For Desmond, who is often in the position of yielding to his more dominant twin, this kind of deliberate one-on-one time may help him offset cumulative activation before it builds. Pam and I discuss what this could look like practically at home, including using strewing and sensory cues rather than direct invitations.How to Track Real Progress | 00:36:30 When parents feel like things are not moving fast enough, I come back to three indicators worth tracking over longer time horizons: nervous system activation, access to basic needs, and connection with safe people. Academic milestones, connection with friends, and hours at school are longer-horizon indicators that sit on top of these foundations. The Energy Underneath the Tactics | 00:43:29 Pam names something many experienced parents of PDAers feel: she knows the tools, she has been doing the work for years, and it is still hard. I reflect that what often remains after the tactics are in place is the energetic piece: the grief, the non-attachment, the letting go of what you thought your family's life would look like. PDA kids perceive the energy of a parent trying to control an outcome even when the approach looks accommodating on the surface. The work of releasing that is not a technique. It is an ongoing practice.Relevant Resources Tracking Progress — Free class on the indicators Casey discusses for measuring what is actually shiftingUnderstanding PDA — Free class with deeper context on the nervous system disability framework Casey referencesParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where therapeutic equalizing and equality accommodations are taught in full

Chris Deutch is a Chicago-based angel investor, founder of Lofty Ventures, and a PDA adult who only recently found the language to make sense of his own childhood. In this conversation, he and Casey trace his path from a kid being carried into school kicking and screaming to a twenty-seven-year career backing entrepreneurs.They talk about what PDA actually looked like in his childhood, including food rigidity, school refusal, and the moment his father's words changed everything. They also explore the overlap between the PDA neurotype and entrepreneurship: autodidactic learning, passion as a regulator, problem-founder fit, and the drive for autonomy that makes traditional employment so hard.This episode is for parents who want to hear what growing up PDA can lead to, and for adults who are hearing this language for the first time and wondering if it fits.Key Takeaways What PDA Looked Like in Chris's Childhood | 00:03:58 Chris describes being carried into school kicking and screaming, refusing to go most days during his early years, and eventually being moved to a smaller school with more resources. He reflects that he was likely in burnout during that period without having any language for it. He also shares a specific memory of food rigidity: he would not eat a Ritz cracker if it was broken, and mashed potatoes had to look exactly like they did on TV. He was prescribed milkshakes by a doctor because he was so underweight. The Moment Autonomy Changed Everything | 00:08:18 Chris describes a turning point in his junior year of high school. His father sat with him over a bad report card and told him he was done pushing, and that Chris needed to decide for himself whether getting into a good college was something he wanted. Chris describes this as his first epiphany. The following semester, he got nearly straight A's. He connects this directly to the PDA pattern: once the goal became his own decision rather than an external demand, he was able to access the focus and effort that had previously been unavailable to him. Passion as a Nervous System Regulator | 00:14:38 Chris and Casey discuss how, for PDA individuals, passion functions differently than it does for most people. Chris describes losing track of time, forgetting to eat, and staying up until 4AM teaching himself computer graphics in college, entirely self-directed. Casey connects this to what she has seen in her own son, who taught himself to code and read through Minecraft because it had a purpose he cared about. Chris describes using this pattern as a litmus test he now shares with others: the things you do where you forget to eat and lose track of time are probably your passions. PDA Strengths and Entrepreneurship | 00:41:32 Casey and Chris identify several PDA-associated strengths that appear to support entrepreneurial thinking: autodidactic learning, the drive to transform and create rather than follow existing paths, energetic radar for reading people quickly, and a strong orientation toward equality and collective benefit. Chris describes the four criteria he looks for in founders he backs, and explains why the fourth, what he calls problem-founder fit, may overlap with how PDA individuals naturally relate to problems they personally experience and feel compelled to solve. Advice for Parents of PDAers and Neurodivergent Adults | 01:05:23 Chris offers two closing pieces of advice. For parents, he returns to the curling analogy he introduced earlier in the conversation: help grease the skids and guide the direction, but do not push. Give children the freedom to discover their own passions, and help them understand what passion actually feels like. For adults who recognize themselves in this conversation, he distinguishes between entrepreneurship as a career and an entrepreneurial mindset as a way of operating in any context. He describes the mindset as a skill that will become more valuable as AI continues to reshape the workforce, and encourages listeners to nurture it regardless of whether they ever start a company.Relevant Resources What Is PDA — Foundation for understanding the neurotype Chris and Casey discuss throughoutFinding Meaning — Free class relevant for parents and adults exploring PDA strengths and long-term perspectiveUnderstanding PDA — Free class for deeper context on autonomy, equality, and the nervous system disability framework

Ivy is a mom celebrating her almost 17-year-old son's GED . The years before this moment included school refusal, police contact, CPS involvement, inpatient treatment, and substance use. Things are calmer now, but the household is still walking on eggshells and Ivy is still trying to figure out what comes next.In this episode, Casey and Ivy talk through what addiction looks like through a nervous system and PDA lens, why the home Ivy has created is doing more than it feels like it is, and what the timeline for recovery actually looks like for a teen who has spent years in cumulative activation.This is one of the few episodes that goes into older teen territory, including the hard questions parents in this situation are living with but rarely see addressed.Key Takeaways Understanding Addiction Through a Nervous System Lens | 00:16:08 Casey explains how she understands addiction in the context of PDA: as a consistent attempt to get out of a physically uncomfortable state of nervous system activation. She describes the addictive swing between mobilization and immobilization and how substances, risky friendships, and dangerous behavior can all function as attempts to regulate a nervous system that has no other reliable pathway to felt safety. She references the work of Jan Winhall, who uses polyvagal theory to understand addiction through a felt sense lens. Why the Home Ivy Has Built Is Working | 00:20:39 Ivy describes her son returning home more frequently, self-grounding after hard nights, and spending time in his room in silence rather than staying away. Casey reframes this as evidence that Ivy has created an alternative to the addictive swing: a place where he can actually return to regulation. She names the trade-off clearly. The cost to Ivy is high. The benefit to her son is real, even when it does not feel like progress. The Timeline for Recovery in Older Teens | 00:34:18 Casey walks through why recovery takes longer for teens who have spent years in cumulative nervous system activation. She describes the process of building a window of tolerance from near zero, and explains why attempting therapy, job applications, or direct conversations before that window is established tends to close it back down. She suggests focusing the next six months to a year on deepening felt safety and waiting for him to initiate, rather than trying to move him forward before his nervous system is ready. What Useful Support Actually Looks Like at This Stage | 00:36:22 Casey describes what therapeutic connection can look like for a PDA teen who will not engage with formal therapy: a barista who does not judge him, someone who plays the same video game, a person on Reddit who sees him as he is. She makes the case that the modality matters less than the quality of the relationship, and that paradoxically, the only moment of real influence comes when a parent has fully released the goal of changing the child's behavior. Counting the Wins When Everything Still Feels Hard | 00:40:47 Toward the end of the conversation, Ivy names what is actually happening on this trip: her son is choosing to be with the family, getting in the ocean, teaching himself to fish on the local shore. Casey reflects that from that place of connection, the long-term trajectory can shift. The episode closes with Casey acknowledging how much Ivy has carried and naming the progress that is already there, even when it is hard to see.Relevant Resources Burnout — Free class with context for understanding the cumulative nervous system activation Casey describes in this episodeUnderstanding PDA — Free class with deeper background on the nervous system disability framework and what drives demand avoidanceParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where the low-demand approach Ivy is practicing is taught in full

This is part three of my hygiene and PDA series, and it is focused entirely on practical strategies. I cover bathing and showering, hair washing, hair brushing, nail clipping, hand washing, and getting dressed.I walk through four types of accommodations I use with my own sons and with the families I work with: lowering demands, autonomy, equality, and novelty combined with nervous system safety. For each hygiene category, I give concrete examples of what these look like in real life.If you are looking for the why behind hygiene resistance, I recommend starting with part one of this series first.Key Takeaways Why the Logic Matters Before the Tips | 00:03:35 Casey opens by explaining why understanding the root cause of hygiene resistance matters before applying any practical strategy. If the tips are used as behavioral tools to make a child comply, the child will perceive threat and exert more control. The goal is to lower cumulative nervous system stress over time, not to produce a one-time result. She distinguishes between hygiene resistance that happens in the moment and resistance that has built through months or years of accumulated nervous system activation.Prioritization and Deconditioning the Shoulds | 00:10:06 Before giving any practical tips, Casey invites parents to question which hygiene needs are genuinely health-related and which are driven by social conditioning or fear of judgment. She shares a personal story from fieldwork in rural Mexico that shifted her own perspective on hygiene standards. She walks through each category, including bathing, hair washing, getting dressed, and nail clipping, and names where there may be more flexibility than parents typically allow themselves. Lowering Demands as an Accommodation | 00:24:57 Casey defines lowering demands as doing things for a child that they are physically and cognitively capable of doing themselves, when their nervous system cannot currently access those tasks without activation. She gives detailed examples across hygiene categories: running the bath, adjusting the water temperature, bringing clothes to a child rather than expecting them to get their own, using wet wipes or deodorant wipes instead of requiring a full shower, and washing a child's hair or hands for them. She emphasizes that this is not enabling but a temporary nervous system accommodation. Autonomy as an Accommodation: Where, When, How, What, and If | 00:32:00 Casey breaks autonomy into five dimensions and applies each one to hygiene. Where can a child bathe, wash their hands, or get dressed? When do they do it, and can they choose the timing? How do they do it, and can that look different than expected? What do they use, and can they choose the products? And finally, if, meaning can we accept that sometimes it may not happen at all during a burnout period? She gives concrete examples for each hygiene category and notes that addressing autonomy goes to the root cause of what activates the nervous system. Equality, Novelty, and Nervous System Safety | 00:48:00 Casey covers more accommodation types. Equality accommodations involve letting the child feel above the parent, whether by letting them take over the parent's bath, having them brush the parent's hair first, or allowing them to wipe their hands on the parent's clothing. Novelty accommodations include remote control boats in the bath, foam soap, bath bombs with surprises inside, iPad access during bathing, colored hair spray, and special-interest themed clothing. She closes with nervous system safety: staying physically near during hygiene routines, using declarative language, and allowing a sibling's presence to co-regulate when that is available.Relevant Resources Burnout — Free class with essential context for understanding hygiene resistance as a sign of cumulative nervous system activationUnderstanding PDA — Free class with background on autonomy, equality, and the nervous system disability framework Casey builds on throughoutParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where lowering demands, autonomy, and equality accommodations are taught in full

This is the second episode in our three-part series on hygiene and PDA. In this episode we deep dive on helping your PDA child or teen go to the dentist and brush their teeth.Specifically, we support parents (and therapists) to understand:Why teeth brushing and going to the dentist are so difficult for PDA children and teensPractical tips they can use to help a PDA child or teen access teeth brushingSpecific examples of how to use autonomy, equality, lowered demands, novelty, and humor to support a PDA child or teen's teeth brushingStrategies and example scripts to use when speaking to the dentist or dental hygienist before your child or teen goes to their next appointment.I hope you find it helpful!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This is the first of three episodes about hygiene and Pathological Demand Avoidance.In this episode I focused on how to think about PDA and hygiene struggles, and understanding the root cause of struggles around:Teeth brushingGoing to the dentistShowering and bathingHair washingHand washingNail clippingHair cuttingGetting dressedMore specifically, in this episode I talk through:The Deep Why behind hygiene strugglesSensory vs. Autonomy as a root cause of avoidanceThe cumulative nature of PDA and control coalescing around a basic need (in this case hygiene)Discernment - Asking yourself the right questions about burnout and whether hygiene is the "stickiest" basic need for your child or teen.Decision-making around boundaries before we worry about accommodationsI hope you find the show helpful. I'll release two more episodes on hygiene soon!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I coach a mom of a 10-year-old PDAer who is in burnout (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). The child loves to cook and bake but has a meltdown if family members clean up after her while she’s in the kitchen.She also melts down if others pass by her bedroom on the way to their own, which her mom has to do if she’s going to clean the kitchen after her daughter leaves.We talked through if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was also present, but decided to focus on working through the PDA lens.We then used our decision making framework to determine how the mother could manage their bedtime routine in a way that would be more pleasant for everyone.I hope you find the conversations helpful. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.This is the second of two episodes in which Donna and I discussed this topic. In the first episode we covered five of her tips, and in this episode we cover five more.Here they are:Reflect on successNormalize discomfort and fearLet go of future fearsPause social media as neededBreathe -- you're doing great!I hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.We cover five of her tips in this episode and will release another episode soon with five more.Here's the first five:Try to keep autonomy and equality at the forefrontShift from parent to mentor-friendBe vulnerable and transparentRelease the pressure to figure it all outRedefine regressionI hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alex Klein and I discuss ten common misconceptions about Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.Here are five from Dr. Klein:The parent of a PDAer is doing something wrong, especially if they've lowered demands.If a PDA child did something yesterday, they can do it again today.Accommodations won’t prepare PDA kids for the real world.Progress made by a PDA child is measured by what we see on the surface.Behaviorism (behavioral parenting) will be enough.And here are five from me, in strong collaboration with my PDA 11- and 7-year-olds:PDA kids are bad kids.How much freedom PDA kids need.It's not behavioral, it's stress.Why and when they can hide nervous system stress.Potatoes are green and they smell like poop :)I hope the episode is helpful to you!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This episode is for parents who are interested in toilet training in a PDA-informed way.This the third episode in my three-part series on toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance.In this episode I cover toilet/potty training with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I cover the following:Is my child or teen in a good place for toilet training?Story of toilet training my older son before I knew of PDA, and why I think it still worked (spoiler - we intuitively did a lot of accommodating).10 tips for if and when you decide to toilet train your PDA child or teen.I hope this is helpful for you and your family.xoxo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode, I spoke to a grandmother raising her 8-year-old PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) Autistic grandson who she had been homeschooling for a year-and-a-half after school trauma in first grade.We discussed:- Helping her grandson attend an in-person appointment with the pediatrician, so he could get a refill of his medication.- The different approaches she could take to decide her actions in this tough situation.- The fear of losing trust and the progress they have made by forcing him to the doctor's office.- Experimenting with ideas for how to prepare her grandson for the doctor's visit with an indirect mode of communications, and how to leverage his special interest of elevators to support him accessing medical care.We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. It's from our live show "Parenting PDA Your Way" that I host on our social media at 1pm ET on Fridays.Warmly,CaseyPS - The grandma in this episode mentions our Paradigm Shift Program. Want to join the waitlist for the next cohort? Here's the link.

This is my second of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on what to do if your child has challenges with:1 - Wiping2 - Accidents3 - Holding and constipation4 - Pooping outside the toilet5 - Peeing outside the toiletOf course, I'm talking through taking a PDA/nervous system approach to helping your child or teen with these challenges. If you want to take a deeper dive into understanding why your PDA child or teen has these challenges, please check out my previous podcast episode (Ep. 142).Also, in this episode I mention the decision making process I teach parents who are trying to decide when they should change their child or teen's diaper if doing so causes activation. If you want to learn more about making such decisions (or others), I teach how to do so in my free masterclass: School, Screens and Siblings, Oh My! Here's a link to where you can sign up for it for free:https://at-peace-parents-podcast.captivate.fm/sssohxo,Casey

This is my first of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on how to think about toileting over the long term with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I talk through:1 - Your questions in the following categories: wiping, holding and constipation, potty training, going outside the toilet, and accidents2 - Logic and root cause of toileting struggles through the PDA lens3 - What a stickiest basic need is and whether or not your child is in burnout4 - 5 things to try in your home now5 - Tracking progress so you can see clearly if this approach is helping your childI hope it’s a helpful episode for you.Xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I spoke with a mom of a 4-year-old PDAer (Pathological Demand Avoidant) and a 10-month-old baby living in an apartment in Scotland.She had just learned about PDA one month ago and had already made huge and brave changes in her home and parenting to support he son.We discussed:- How to start making a parenting paradigm shift if you are new to PDA.- The importance of an experimental mindset as you are trying out new ways of supporting and accommodating your PDA child.- How to pick your priorities for boundaries in the home. In this case we focused on safety around the baby, bedtime, and bathing once a week.- How nervous system activation is cumulative over time (months and years) for PDA children and teens, which means we don't have to be perfect with accommodations, just consistent.This episode is from the show we stream live on Fridays on our social media, "Parenting PDA Your Way." I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!With love,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Want to check out our special "Try Before You Buy" offer for the Paradigm Shift Program. Use the link below to learn more and join the program waitlist to get access to the offer.Paradigm Shift Program

Sorcha Rice is an occupational therapist and the clinical manager of Neurodiversity Ireland, who I met at their 1st conference last year. She identifies as AuDHD and PDA and spoke with me about how she understands and experiences PDA, what her childhood and teen years were like before she was diagnosed, going through burnout and recovery, how she manages her nervous system now, and some of the practices she incorporates to support her PDA occupational therapy clients.It was wonderful to connect with Sorcha and hear her insights and so much of her story!I hope you enjoy it too.Xoxo,CaseyPS - You can find more about Sorcha on instagram at both @ot_sorcharice and @neurodiversityirelandAnd in our conversation she also recommended a resource for other OTs - Kim Barthel.

In this episode I speak with a mom of a six-year-old PDAer who wouldn't eat or drink and was extremely dysregulated during a holiday because of a loose tooth.We discussed:1 - how internal demands and losses of autonomy like losing a tooth matter as much as external demands.2 - the importance of understanding PDA as a fluctuating nervous system disability.3 - creative ideas for deepening accommodations the next time there is a loose tooth. I hope you find the episode helpful. It's from the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays, Parenting PDA Your Way.xo,Casey

Here's part 2 of my episode on the 10 hardest lessons I learned in 2025. They include:6 - Your PDA child can go into burnout even if you're fully accommodating them.7 - Burnout can feel like you are making no progress, especially with an internalizer.8 - Screens can be a wonderful thing.9 - Your kids will surprise you.10 - Spirituality sustained me.xoxo,Casey

Happy New Year! I'm kicking off 2026 by sharing the 10 hardest lessons I learned parenting my PDAers (often the hard way) in 2025. The first five are in this episode:1 - There are some things in life you can't outsource2 - The key to sanity is accepting constraints and finding agency within them3 - Doubt about PDA is the antidote to dogma4 - The importance of trusting yourself in the face of judgement5 - Burnout with trauma is different than burnout without traumaxo,Casey

In this episode I talk with a mom about her 7-year-old daughter - with PDA, ADHD and anxiety - about when she might help her build her frustration tolerance, and when she likely cannot.We also dive in on a specific challenge she was facing when her both her daughters need support at the same time.The conversation is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Facebook, Instagram and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom of a PDA 14-year-old who regulates himself by wrestling his father after school each day, which causes Mom lots of anxiety. Together we use my cost-benefit decision making tool to weigh her options and she then decides a new strategy to try.We talked about the option of her leaving the house while the wrestling happens. And we talked through letting go of control of her husband's decision making around wrestling and care for his own back.I hope this episode is helpful for you. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Instagram, Facebook and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mother of a PDA teen about:Setting boundaries when other kids are involvedMaking decisions in public when you are being judgedHelping young siblings understand the PDA threat response.The episode is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live most Fridays on our Instagram, Facebook, YouTube accounts.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I spoke with clinical psychologist Alex Klein about considerations when thinking about getting an evaluation for Autism or PDA as an adultmy own neurodivergencedoing therapy as a neurodivergent adultgetting an evaluation and therapy for your PDA child or teenI hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about a time her daughter melted down and then wouldn't allow Mom to step away and take the pause she needed to regulate herself to be able to support her daughter. These situations are so tough - and sometimes there is nothing you can do but endure them - and so in this conversation we talked about how to find meaning in this parenting experience.This podcast episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about her PDA daughter, who pinches and scratches Mom as she is falling asleep. It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode, I coach a mom of a nine-year-old PDA son who fixates on visiting the neighbors' houses the moment they get home from anywhere, and cannot move on when their kids are unavailable.We work through why this is happening through the PDA lens, what part of the brain is driving it, and why teaching social norms has not been enough to change the behavior. Then we go through the full cost-benefit decision-making methodology live, laying out every option that is actually under the parent's control and comparing two of them side by side across the whole family system.This episode is a clear example of what it looks like to apply the At Peace Parents framework to a very specific, everyday situation.Key Takeaways Why the Neighbors Are a Triple Draw | 00:09:00 I explain why this mom's son is pulled so intensely toward the neighbors' houses. For PDA kids, there are four things that tend to regulate the nervous system: another safe nervous system, dopamine-seeking novelty, a special interest, and screens. The neighbors appear to offer three of those at once. They are novel, they likely represent safe nervous systems, and for some PDA kids, other children are a special interest in themselves. Understanding the pull this way shifts the frame from "bad behavior" to "nervous system seeking regulation." The Survival Brain Is Not Only Meltdowns | 00:13:09 This mom had an insight during our conversation that I think many parents will recognize. She had been thinking of the survival brain as something that only shows up during full meltdowns. Through our discussion, she realized that the constant movement, the inability to settle, the fluttering from one thing to the next, may also be the survival brain operating below the threshold of a visible crisis. When a PDA child is not in a state of felt safety, they are in some degree of perceived danger, even if it does not look like a meltdown. Teaching Social Skills Has Limits Here | 00:12:22 I walk through why focusing on teaching social norms, such as counting to twenty before leaving the door or understanding that neighbors may not want to play, has not changed the behavior. The issue is not that he lacks the knowledge. It is that when he is in his survival brain, he cannot access what he knows. The skill is there. The access is not. This distinction matters for how parents think about where to put their energy. The Cost-Benefit Decision-Making Method | 00:20:19 We go through the full cost-benefit methodology live in this episode. The process starts by naming constraints, then reframes the challenge as a decision point, and lays out every option that is under the parent's control, not what the child can be made to do. We then compare two options by looking at the cost and benefit to each person's nervous system in the family: the PDA child, mom, and dad. The result is a clearer picture of which option has the best net outcome for the whole family system, and a decision the parent can experiment with consistently. Communicating With Neighbors About Direct Language | 00:53:44 One of the practical next steps that came out of this session was the importance of asking neighbors to use very direct, unambiguous language when the child comes to the door. Phrases like "maybe later" or "she has a game and might be back at six" create a window of possibility that the child cannot move past. A clear "we can't play today" allows him to process and redirect. We also talk about how to have that conversation with neighbors in a way that feels comfortable, including how much to share and how to frame a diagnosis.Relevant Resources What Is PDA — Background on the nervous system disability framework Casey uses throughout this episodeParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where the cost-benefit decision-making methodology is taught in fullClarity Masterclass — Free class for parents still determining whether PDA fits their child's profile

Samantha's 13-year-old PDA daughter wants to buy things all the time, and gets dysregulated when her parents say "no." It's a common and difficult problem for many parents of PDA children and teens, and in this week's episode I talk it through with Samantha.The episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I talk through how I've come to realize my second son is also PDA - with a more internalized expression than my first - and how the process has been both similar and different from the first time. I hope it's helpful for you :)

In today's episode I speak with Megan, the mother of an 8-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her sibling on the walk to school. Megan comes up with something to try for a couple weeks to see if it's helpful. I hope the conversation is helpful for you, too :)

In this episode I talk with Carrie - mother of a 12-year-old PDAer - about how to support her son when he gets dysregulated by not knowing what to do during free time - especially after school and on weekends.

In this episode I coach Lierin as she navigates the equalizing her 5-year-old daughter does against her 8-year-old sister. Specifically we discuss how to help the older daughter understand PDA and the "unfairness" it brings about.

Sometimes our PDA children equalize against us and it triggers us - perhaps because of our own neurodivergence, childhood trauma, or other challenges. In this episode of the podcast - from our new live show - I coach Christine through such a situation with her PDA daughter. I hope it's helpful for you

This episode is a conversation with Dominique, mother of a 4-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her 2-year-old. Dominique also has a third child, and joined our live show - Parenting PDA Your Way - to talk through how to handle these situations.I hope you find our conversation helpful. xo,Casey

In this episode I work with Megan, a mom who is frustrated that what other adults think about her parenting impacts her, and unsure if this is an obstacle to radical acceptance of her child's PDA. Thank you Megan for sharing your story to help other families. I know many of us can relate!Also, this is the first podcast episode where I share the coaching conversations I'm doing on my new show: "Parenting PDA Your Way". We're live streaming the show most Fridays at 10am ET on Facebook and YouTube.

As parents of PDA children and teens we do a ton of work to support and heal the nervous systems of our kids, often at the expense of our own (also sensitive) nervous systems. So for this episode I invited Afshan Tafler, a nervous system expert, to speak with me.We talked about:The impact on a parent's nervous system of raising a PDA child or teenWhy we get into fixing modeSome tools to support your nervous system(Parental burnout)I hope it's helpful!xo,Casey

How do we help our kids develop a positive self image, no matter their diagnosis? In this episode I walk through the steps of helping your PDA child or teen do so, and in a way that provides them autonomy and equality throughout. It's an excerpt from one of the live workshops of our Paradigm Shift Program. I hope it's helpful!

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Caroline Thor about the tremendous impacts of changing her parenting approach - for her PDA son, her family, and herself as a professional. I hope it's helpful to you.xo,CaseyCaroline's Website

How do I feel about AI, and how do I use it with my PDA child? In this episode I talk through these things and more with Kelly Edwards, founder of the 90-Minute School Day. As a mom of a PDAer herself, and an expert in the homeschooling/unschooling space, Kelly brings great insight to our conversation. I hope you find it helpful!

Not all demand avoidant children and teens are PDA. In this episode I talk through how to know if your child fits the profile for PDA, which is important, because it suggests a different root cause for their avoidance than for non-PDA demand avoidant kids. And of course, you want to know what the root cause is so you know how best to support your child or teen.I hope this is helpful to all.xo,Casey

Paradigm Shift Program alumna Rachel shares her story in this episode, which includes insight she gained enduring serious sickness as a young adult. She brings this perspective to the hardest moments and eras parenting her PDA children, and explains the difference that can make, even while being incredibly difficult.

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Aoife, who shares her journey as a PDA parent of a PDA child. I hope you find her insights and experiences helpful as you navigate your own journeys.

I think PDA is its own neurotype, different from non-PDA Autism and ADHD. That doesn't mean PDA kids, teens and adults can't also be Autistic or ADHD - many are, including at least one of my sons. But it means there's a different logic for how we support PDA children and teens - even if they are also Autistic or ADHD - based on the unique way their brain and nervous system works.

You're not doing it wrong! And I know this because there is not one right or wrong to parent a PDA child. Parents I work with make tons of different decisions - and change those decisions over time - depending on the unique circumstances, opportunities, values and constraints they face. And I love that!

Karin is a Dutch medical teacher and an alumna of our Paradigm Shift Program with three children with three different neurotypes. I loved reconnecting with her and hearing how she and her neurodivergent husband use three different parenting approaches in order to successfully support their kids. I hope you find her insights helpful, too!

Many of you know that my PDA son stopped eating most foods when he was in burnout. But I've also worked with countless parents whose PDA child or teen can't stop eating. And so I've dedicated this episode to the topic - how to understand compulsive eating as part of PDA, and an approach that may be helpful. xo,Casey

In this episode I spoke with Chris Wenger - AKA "Speech Dude" - a speech language pathologist with extensive experience accommodating PDA teens in a public school. I loved our conversation, and I hope you will too!We talked about:Practical ways to communicate about PDA in a public school setting (in this case a high school).How to write PDA-specific goals/supports in an IEP (Institutional Educational Plan here in the United States).Supporting PDA teens to feel safe, engage in learning, and make social connections in creative ways that don't feel demanding.The role that autonomy plays in PDA teens' success.Here is more about Chris!Chris Wenger is a neurodivergent high school speech-language pathologist of over 20 years, international speaker, and creator of the Dynamic Assessment of Social Emotional Learning, a strengths-based assessment for autistic students. He is also the founder of NeuroAffirm, a first-of-its-kind worldwide interactive directory connecting providers and families. Globally known as Speech Dude, he has amassed nearly one million social media followers, sharing inspiring and educational content, always with a humorous twist.

Dr. Mel Houser, MD, shares stories from her childhood, career as a doctor, and work reimagining healthcare and community at All Brains Belong in Vermont. PDA Autistic herself, I hope you'll find her insights as interesting, helpful and hopeful as I did.

The thing that underpins so much of how we support and accommodate our PDA children and teens - and thereby lower their nervous system activation so they can thrive - is our connection with them. And this connection can get very, very strained. Especially if they're in burnout, which often means we are, too. In this episode I share ten tips to improve connection and communications. I hope it's helpful. xo,Casey

Five years ago, when my son barely ate anything, and I feared he would end up with a feeding tube, and none of the traditional therapies worked, these are the 20 things I wish someone would have said to me, because I was freaking out! I hope they are as helpful to you now as I know they would have been for me back then.

I dive deep on screens in this episode - to give you every bit of information you need to make decisions you can feel confident in concerning screens and screen limits. I talk through how formal studies on screen time handle PDA children (spoiler - they don't) and share what I've seen working with over 1,000 families who have all handled screen limits their own ways. I do this because no matter your decision, I don't want you to feel all the doubt I did from the judgement I received from others and from myself. You know your child, your family and your constraints, and I know you are doing your best to balance all of this, and that is what matters.

In this episode I discuss the five most common characteristics of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) to help parents determine if their child or teen fits the profile. If you want to dig deeper into figuring out if your child fits the PDA profile, I designed my Clarity Masterclass to help. It's free on my website: Clarity Page - Quiz and Class

"All kids are demand avoidant" is just one of the misconceptions about PDA that I take down with clinical psychologist Alex Klein in this feisty episode. I hope it helps you take on any doubts foisted on you, too.

In this episode I talk about some of the therapies I've done to heal my own nervous system - and dive deeper on EMDR specifically - in the hope that they might be helpful to you, too. Because the reality is, many of us as parents also experience trauma as we navigate the challenges of parenting a PDA child or teen, especially when they (and we!) are in burnout.

This episode is for people who follow (or don't follow) any religion and are open to taking some of the concepts from Buddhist psychology that I've found most helpful as I parent my PDA child. I hope you find these six ideas helpful, too.

My son started occupational therapy six years ago, when he was four. I didn't really know what it was, nor did I know my son was PDA. But in the years since, OT has become a prominent part of my life. So much so that as he's now graduating from it, I'm navigating feelings of loss, much like I did way back when he first started. I hope you find the episode helps you, whether or not you're involved in OT.xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with Dr. Alex Klein about a dynamic I see all the time - when two parents aren't on the same page about how to parent their PDA child or teen. Alex brings his insight as a clinical psychologist who often works with parents on marriage dynamics while they raise a PDA child or teen. I hope you find it helpful! Also - this is our 100th episode of the podcast! What I've heard over the years is that the podcast is one of the ways so many families learn about PDA and stop feeling so isolated and alone. If you'd like to help this happen for even more parents out there, please consider giving the show a five-star, written review. If you email us a screenshot once you've done so - and before the end of February - we'll enter your name in a drawing for a free one-hour private coaching session with me. You can send the email to journey@atpeaceparents.com.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

"Mama, did God make me this way on purpose?" That's what my PDA son asked me when he was four years old, and it broke my heart. But today, at age 10, he has a ton of confidence in himself and his identity as a PDAer. In this episode I talk through how we got from the one place to the other, and how you can, too. I hope it's helpful.Casey

This episode is about one of parents' most common fears when they begin taking a nervous-system accommodation approach. What about when my kid grows up? Or, said another way, if I don't consistently correct them when they do something wrong, how will they learn not to be awful people?It's a question and fear I had, too. But what I've seen with my son, and the thousands of families I've worked with, is that our kids know right from wrong, and correcting them when they're having a nervous system response takes us backwards instead of forwards.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

I am so excited to share this conversation with Demi Burnett! She's famous for her appearances on The Bachelor and more, but I had so much fun - and also learned a ton - talking with her about her life as a PDA Autistic person. I mean, who would have thought reality television would be so accommodating?!?You can find Demi's often hilarious social media posts here: instagram.com/demi_not_lovatoAnd she sells her amazing crochet creations here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/DemliaAlso - in my intro I announced that we've opened enrollment for the next cohort of the Paradigm Shift Program. You can learn more about the program in the info below, and here's a quick link to the program webpage: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programThe 12-week Paradigm Shift Program is where I personally coach parents who want to build peace in their homes by better understanding and accommodating their PDA child or teen. I host weekly live spot-coaching sessions and provide additional coaching in writing in our online community. The program is built on what I've seen work for thousands of families, and in fact it is the only program for parents of PDA children and teens proven to increase parent connection with their child, while decreasing parent depression and anxiety. You can enroll or add yourself to the program interest list at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programYou can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsLinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/casey-ehrlich-ph-d-495a242bThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I discuss how seemingly disconnected activities can impact each other for PDA children and teens. I hope it is helpful to you.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Enrollment is open for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I talk through some of the most common places that the parents, therapists and teachers I've worked with get stuck. If you're stuck in one of these spots don't feel bad. This is hard stuff we're all doing. And I hope this episode can help.

In this episode I share some stories that show that the accommodating we do for our PDA children and teens isn't all that crazy. In fact, you could make a reasonable argument that many of the most successful people working in retail are constantly using their ability to coregulate their customers' nervous systems.I share these stories with two hopes - that they help you feel less crazy, and more confident the next time your "but how will they make it in the real world" fear pops up. I hope they're helpful.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I answer your questions with Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist. We covered a few diagnoses - DMDD, IED and ODD - that children often receive before their parents figure out they are PDA. And then we also discussed the grieving process that many parents go through after learning their child has a disability, and how that can be different from ableism, which parents often feel guilty about. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

The holidays can be excruciating for us parents of PDA children and teens. So in this episode I share five tips to help you and your family get through them (with as much joy as possible). I hope they are helpful. Also, this episode includes a story about my PDA son not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve several years ago. After I recorded this I then re-read a blog post I'd written shortly after that Christmas Eve, and realized that I hadn't correctly remembered some of the chronology when I retold the story here. This doesn't change the point of the story at all, but I wanted to note the mistake in case you also read the story. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Advocating with the school of your PDA child or teen can feel like slamming your head against a wall. But you keep trying because you think that if you just explain how PDA works clearly enough the school will start accommodating appropriately. At least that's what I thought. And I was wrong. But it took me more than a year and multiple lawyers to get to the place where I pulled my child from our local public school. I share my story here in the hope that, at the very least, it absolves you of the feeling that the reason your school isn't supporting your child is somehow your fault. Because it's not. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

I love it when alumni of our Paradigm Shift Program™ send me updates. It's just so wonderful to hear about the work that parents do and the slow but tremendous progress they make. In this episode I decided to invite on one of the moms who sent me such an update about a year after she finished the program. We talk about how she ultimately fared with the questions she was grappling with during the program: Should she send her PDA son to sleepaway summer camp? And if so, how should she go about it? I hope you enjoy hearing her story as much as I enjoyed reconnecting with her.xo,CaseyAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent!

I conceptualize PDA as a nervous system disability because it can impair access to basic survival needs - such as eating, sleeping, toileting, movement, and safety. It's terrifying for parents when this happens, and in this episode I discuss why it does. This understanding helps many parents support their children, who can then regain access to those needs over time. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Lowering demands is how many parents start accommodating their PDA child or teen, and it's also where many get stuck. In this episode I talk through the mindset work that parents can do to get unstuck and be more successful with lowering demands. I also explain why lowering demands is a necessary but not sufficient accommodation for our PDA children and teens. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Does you child or teen often try to control you, criticize you and/or destroy your things or things around the house. This is very common among PDA children and teens, because they are equalizing. Equalizing is a nervous system response - out of their control - in PDA children and teens whereby they try to regain sense of nervous system safety due to a perceived loss of autonomy and equality.In this episode I break it all down, and share lots of examples. I hope it's helpful. xo,CaseyAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Este episodio está en español. This episode is in Spanish. En este episodio hablo con Juliana Carrillo sobre PDA - la Evitación de Demanda Extrema - y como entender la discapacidad del sistema nervioso en niños y jovenes. Juliana es una psicologa y "coach" con At Peace Parents. Puedes leer más de ella y sus servicios aquí: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/Juliana-asesoria-personalizadaAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

It's very common for two parents to be on different pages or trajectories with PDA understanding and acceptance. Sometimes this is because one parent wants more "evidence" that PDA exists at all, which can be very difficult given that academia has not yet caught up to our lived realities. In this episode I provide a possible way forward - building your own evidence!I hope it's helpful. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I share the techniques for using declarative language that I've seen are most effective for parents of PDA children and teens. And I snuck in a suggestion on how to get your PDAer's teacher to use declarative language, too ;)Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

There are tons of misconceptions about if and how we set boundaries with our PDA children and teens (spoiler - we do!), and in this episode I talk through the most common of them. I also explain the process I use - cost-benefit decision making within constraints - to help parents decide when they should set boundaries and how to do so with eyes wide open to the activation this will cause their PDAer.I hope it helps you!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Hi everyone - in this episode I share some of the many messy, awkward and (in retrospect at least) kinda funny situations I found myself in during the many months I was in the process of changing my parenting approach to better support my PDA son. I share these as a reminder that this can be (almost always is) a chaotic transition, and that's ok. You're learning and implementing a new parenting paradigm, and it takes time for you, your family members, and you PDA child to get into a new rhythm. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

ABA is helpful for some PDA children and their families. For other PDA children it doesn't help or can make things worse. With this in mind, I'd love to live in a world where ABA and additional options were available - and covered by insurance - to support PDA children and teens.In today's episode I provide more information about ABA and the how parents of PDA children can better understand the research supporting it.Also - here are links to the two articles I referenced:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40614-022-00338-xhttps://www.nature.com/articles/tp2017207Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I share my experiences with the Safe and Sound Protocol, and also provide guidance on how parents can think about trying therapies with their PDA child or teen.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This is a question I get frequently, and there's a lot of nuance that goes into answering it. I hope this is helpful to you!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I explain the logic that underpins all my teaching, and why traditional behavioral parenting approaches - which are great for many children - don't work for PDA children and teens because of the way their brains and nervous systems work. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Like many parents, I spent years looking for a magic solution that would fix or circumvent my son's PDA. And then I came to accept that this is a disability he has. Only then was I able to make the decisions to truly support him and our family.In this episode I share the tool I teach in the Paradigm Shift Program™ to help parents accept the limitations they face and make decisions to move forward. I hope it supports you, too.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I explain why it makes total sense that we have PDA children and teens before academia has proven the existence of PDA, because research follows real life. (And while I love research, it is often slow and expensive.)But that doesn't mean we can't move forward and experiment with approaches that support our children. That's what parents have always done, and then studies come after that prove the effectiveness of those approaches. I hope this episode validates for you that what you know to be true is indeed true, even though many of the practitioners you work with (therapists, teachers, pediatricians) didn't learn about it in school.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

One of our goals in accommodating the nervous systems of our PDA children and teens is to make them feel safe. And in this video I walk through nine ways we can signal safety (many of which aren't verbal) to help them feel safe, and safe in their connection with us. This podcast is the audio recording of a video I made, and you can hear me talk about some of the visuals I shared, which you don't really need, but are available here if you want to see them (https://youtu.be/FD_oHidffP4?si=R3EOQiBUY9ihccyr). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

I don't plan a single weekend - nor really any other free time with my PDA son - without thinking about the 4 S's. Just keeping them in mind buoys my confidence that I know how to prevent or interrupt my son's dysregulation.This podcast is the audio of a video I made explaining the 4S's in detail. I talk a bit about the graphics I drew for the video, which you don't really need to see, but can find here if you'd like (https://youtu.be/4hYEtJhbg7k?si=jZlWZLhawS-sZ0p4). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Are you thinking about taking your PDA child or teen out of formal school for homeschooling? Or perhaps you've already done so and are finding what you've gotten into to be pure chaos? This episode is for you!Kelly Edwards is the mother of a PDA child and founder of 90-Minute School Day (https://90minuteschoolday.com/), an organization that helps parents homeschool and unschool their neurodivergent children and teens. I loved speaking with her and know her insights will be supportive for so many of you great parents out there!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Raising a PDA child or teen is extremely challenging. Trying to be perfect in your implementation of accommodations makes it impossible and unsustainable. But here's the good news - you don't have to be perfect! Not when your child is in burnout, and certainly not when they're in equilibrium and you need to bring some nuance to your caregiving. I explain these distinctions in this episode, which I hopes helps you breathe a little deeper and recognize what a great job you're already doing!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Are you dreading the start to school with your PDA child or teen? 😬You are not alone! During this free training, I explored seven steps to help you feel more confident and empowered with skills that can help you solve problems and get your child or teen the support and access to learning that they deserve and have a right to 💪.Structure of the free mini training:👉Tough love and radically accepting the constraints we can’t change in the moment.👉Identifying decision points vs. strategies for advocacy👉 Strategic communication with schools👉Identify specific needs and solutions (one problem at a time)👉 PLATO framework for making non-violent communication requests (Citation: Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion)👉Collect data on response (e.g. Yes, No, but… or No) to inform decision making.These are skills we apply, practice, and refine in the context of your real life and home in our signature Paradigm Shift Program (https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program)To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I talk through the steps you can take to accommodate your PDA child or teen as they equalize against you. This is not easy stuff, but can be life changing over time. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Donna Georgen - one of the expert coaches with At Peace Parents - shares her own amazing story of being a single mother raising two PDA daughters, one of whom also has Down Syndrome, into adulthood. Donna is a true inspiration, and a wonderful human. I feel so fortunate that she now brings all of her wisdom, empathy and practicality to her private coaching clients, and her work as a moderator in the Paradigm Shift Program online community. Want to learn more about coaching with Donna? Here's her coaching page: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/donna-coachingInterested in her support as part of the Paradigm Shift Program? Learn more here: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programOr if you're still trying to figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is on the At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In my work with hundreds of families one thing I see often is that parents are wrongly made to feel shame for their parenting by well-meaning but shortsighted "experts." In this episode of the podcast I debunk the arguments and "evidence" that these experts use and show that none of us need to feel ashamed of the herculean parenting we're doing. Are you ready to dive deeper with me, my team and a cohort of other understanding families facing the same challenges you do? If so, I recommend joining the waitlist to get early access for enrollment in the next Paradigm Shift Program. (Last enrollment every spot filled.)Here's the link: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/psp-waitlistOr if you're not sure if your child is PDA, you might find my FREE Clarity Masterclass, as I designed it to help you determine if your child fits the PDA profile: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/clarityYou can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode is a MUST listen! Kendahl Damashek, a gifted PDAer and parent coach with At Peace Parents, walks us through her experience as a PDA child and young adult. With vulnerability and courage, Kendahl shares her experience with burnout in her college years and her story of how she learned to balance raising four PDA children and her own access needs. I am grateful that I get to work with Kendahl every day as a member of the At Peace Parents team. She shares her wisdom in the online community of the Paradigm Shift Program (https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program) which she helps moderate - she actually told her story in a private session of the PSP, but it was too good for me not to share more broadly - and in one-on-one coaching with families, many of whom come to her for her personal experience being 2E (twice exceptional - gifted and PDA) and raising 2E children. You can learn more about her and her coaching services at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/kendahl-private-coaching-1To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

We can use time-tested scientific methods to determine the best ways to parent our PDA children and teens. In fact, many of you likely already do so, and in this episode I discuss how we all can. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist, discussed strategies for parents of children with both PDA and OCD, and how to handle violence and hitting, especially with the added challenge of keeping siblings safe. Also, Dr. Klein mentions two other practitioners in this episode, Dr. Melissa Neff (https://www.melissaneffphd.com/) and Dr. Jeremy Shuman (https://mindfulstl.com/providers/jeremy-shuman-psy-d/)To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

The subject of this podcast can be triggering, but I'm committed to talking about it because so many parents of PDA children and teens encounter violence - and I am sending love and, compassion and deep empathy to all of you - and because part of the mission of At Peace Parents is to reduce violence at the individual, household and societal level. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I talk with At Peace Parents coach Kendahl Damashek about parenting twice exceptional children - who are both gifted and PDA. Kendahl shares her personal experience being 2E and raising 2E children. You can learn more about her and her coaching services at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/kendahl-private-coaching-1To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I share how Polyvagal Theory - cutting edge understanding of how the human nervous system works - can help us parent our PDA children and teens. Specifically, I look at how it helps us answer the following paradoxical questions:1 - Why do things seem to get worse after I dive in on accommodating?2 - How can my child turn their responses on or off if the behaviors truly aren't under their conscious control?3 - Similarly, how can equalizing be social in nature if not under their control?4 - Why, after making so much progress with my PDA child, do I personally feel so awful in my own nervous system?To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I share the lessons I learned THE HARD WAY about advocating for my PDA son. Because you are truly not alone if you're feeling angry and exhausted after trying to convince teachers, doctors, therapists, grandparents, even spouses what your child needs and why - I've worked with hundreds of families who have gone through this. I share these lessons in the hope that it will short cut the process for you, so you can preserve some of your limited energy. Interested in the two books I mention - Non-Violent Communication and Boundary Boss. You can find links to both on our resources page, and if you buy through those links a commission will go towards our scholarship program. www.atpeaceparents.com/resourcesTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Parents often ask me how their three-year-old PDA child could possibly be masking before they've even started preschsool and seen much of how other kids behave. It's a great question, and one I asked many times as well. In this episode I dig into the answer, according to Polyvagal Theory.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Dr. Alex Klein and I answer questions that families submitted. If you'd like to submit a question for one of our future conversations, here is where you can do so: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/submit-question-klein-ehrlichHere's some of the questions we took on for this episode:How do you know if the behavior you are observing as a parent is from ADHD or PDA? What are the differences and similarities?Why are psychologists so resistant to recognizing PDA? (Asked as “What is wrong with Psychologists that they can’t see this as a neurotype!?!” 😊)Are psychologists helpful at all if they aren’t PDA themselves? Is it even worth trying to find a psychologist?What do you do if ABA is recommended by a doctor, but intuitively you don't think it is the right fit? To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Does your child refuses to write or draw? In this episode I share my story of my son's avoidance of both and how supporting his nervous with PDA accommodations enabled him to come back to them over time. The story also illustrates the general logic of supporting a child through and out of burnout. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Knowing the difference between boundaries and rules, and when to use each, can be really helpful when parenting a PDA child or teen. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I reconnect with my longtime dear friend, Lauren Stern Noel, who is also a developmental therapist and DIR-Floortime therapist working with Autistic children and children with developmental disabilities. We talk about playing with PDA children, and how it can look different than what parents might have expected.Lauren serves families and schools directly in the greater Chicago area and you can learn more about her services and work at her website: https://www.playtimekids.org/about-laurenLauren's full bio is here: Lauren Stern Noel has been working with children with autism spectrum disorders and developmental differences since 2003. She is a credentialed Developmental Therapist through the Illinois Early Intervention program, a certified Infant Mental Health Specialist through Erikson Institute, and a Fellows-level certified DIRFloortime® therapist through Profectum™ Academy. Lauren believes that relationships and a strong social-emotional foundation are the basis for play, development and learning.Lauren earned a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and a Master’s degree in child development from Tufts University.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent!xoxo,Casey

In this episode I discuss how as parents of PDA children or teens we do both parenting and caregiving, and how that relates to a "Gentle Parenting" approach.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I talk about how I view parenting a PDA child or teen as distinct from "Gentle Parenting" by focusing on rhythms instead of routines.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Signalling safety - often non-verbally - to your PDA child or teen can be a really impactful way to accommodate their nervous system. In this episode I provide seven tips on how to do it. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I discuss my two sons, the differences between SPD and PDA, and how those differences impact parenting. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

When my PDA son was four-years-old and we were in crisis I called my longtime dear friend, Lauren Stern Noel, who is also a developmental therapist and DIR-Floortime therapist working with Autistic children and children with developmental disabilities. She invited me to Chicago to stay with her family and meet her most trusted colleagues - a speech language pathologist and occupational therapist - to help Cooper stabilize. The most profound shift for me was in my parenting and helping me start my paradigm shift towards a non-behavioral approach to supporting my PDA child. In this episode we discuss that beginning and her insights working with many children with developmental, learning, or interactional differences.Lauren serves families and schools directly in the greater Chicago area and you can learn more about her services and work at her website.Lauren's full bio is here: Lauren Stern Noel has been working with children with autism spectrum disorders and developmental differences since 2003. She is a credentialed Developmental Therapist through the Illinois Early Intervention program, a certified Infant Mental Health Specialist through Erikson Institute, and a Fellows-level certified DIRFloortime® therapist through Profectum™ Academy. Lauren believes that relationships and a strong social-emotional foundation are the basis for play, development and learning.Lauren earned a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and a Master’s degree in child development from Tufts University.~~To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

I always get questions about how to handle dynamics between a Pathologically Demand Avoidant child or teen and their sibling/s. And with good reason - it can be REALLY hard to navigate these dynamics in ways that support all members of the family.Want more on this topic? I first discussed it about a year ago in episode 15.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I discuss the practical skills we need as parents to support the nervous systems and health of our PDA children and teens, and how it relates to my morning's yoga session...To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

I explain strewing as an accommodation that can help PDA children and teens. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey and Dr. Klein discuss PDA in their first podcast (of many to follow) and he shares some of the insights of PDA he's gained as a clinical psychologist. Disclaimer: Dr. Klein does not provide any clinical, medical, or therapeutic support as part of this podcast. To work with him as a clinician, you can find him here: https://www.dralexklein.com/(Casey doesn't either). You can submit questions for my future chats with Dr. Klein here. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey discusses the five most common ways she's found parents of PDA children and teens get stuck in bringing their family to stability.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey discusses the ways parents of PDA children shoot themselves with the "second arrow" - often guilt - and ways to transcend it.To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Casey discusses having a service dog to help her PDA son, and some of the ups and downs she's been through. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey discusses her identity, her role as a researcher rather than an advocate, and how this informs her objective approach - and openness -to helping each unique family find what works for them and the PDA child or teen without an attachment to path they choose. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass. You can also connect with me on:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey talks about the theory of change she uses in her work, and the common fear parents have that if they accommodate their PDA children and teens they will not be able to succeed as adults. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace ParentsThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Casey discusses the challenges and strategies of parenting a PDA child or teen through the holiday season. (This episode was pulled from a recent Instagram Live video.)To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey discusses the variability among PDA children and teens. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

PDA children and teens have empathy, and in this episode we talk about why and how to help their nervous systems so they can access it. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode we discuss the unique experience of parenting a PDA child for parents who are also pathologically demand avoidant and offer some simple tools and insights that may be helpful. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, we discuss why the Halloween - and the holidays - are so tough on PDA children and teens, as well as their parents, and I offer some tips to help you get through the beginning of what we call "The Gauntlet" in my family (the period between Halloween and my son's bday in January).Remember - it's not you! It's totally normal to dread these times of the year because of societal demands and expectations!I hope this podcast episode serves you.To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode Casey talks about the fawn and freeze responses to nervous system activation.To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey discusses why behavioral approaches don't work for PDA children and teens.To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Casey talks about therapy for PDA children. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode explores what I call "The Theory of Change" of parenting a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen through an accommodation approach over the long term (years!). We talk about the logic behind lowering demands and making choices that feel counterintuitive as a parent to support your child back into their "thinking brain."We also discuss radical acceptance and what that means day-to-day as a parent as a PDA child or teen. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode discusses what it *actually* looks like to radically accept your PDA child or teen. For many parents this is where the rubber hits the road and it is less about a nebulous or theoretical "acceptance" of a neurodivergent child, and more about the points at which we have to accept that raising a child with a nervous system disability requires tradeoffs to our lifestyle, letting go of certain expectations we had for our lives, and cost-benefit decision-making within constraints.I hope it serves you. To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, we discuss the difference between trauma and Pathological Demand Avoidance, as well as the overlaps in terms of your child's or teen's behavior.We talk about how you can heal trauma, however you cannot heal a neurotype, but rather accommodate it through trauma-informed parenting and practices.Sometimes, as parents, we don't know where the line is between trauma and neurotype, so we have to be consistent in connection and accommodations and observe our own data about your child or teen over time. I hope this episode serves you!To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode is designed to do three things:Give you clarity on how to figure out the root cause of your child's controlling and avoidant behavior - Is it Anxiety, OCD and/or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?Help you notice subtle differences in controlling and avoidant behavior to determine if there is more than one thing going on.Encourage you to startobserving and tracking your chlid or teen's unique "indicators" (Basic Needs access, Connection and Trust with you, and Nervous System Stress) over the long term so you can make decisions about what type of approach is more supportive of your family (Exposure vs. Accommodation).Happy Listening! To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Caseyps. Here is the link if you are interested in getting on the waitlist for the the next cohort of the Paradigm Shift Program. Citations: Polyvagal Theory steven PorgesThe Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma  (Good explanation of what happens to our bodies when we go into "fight or flight." Helpful for understanding the PDA child's experience)What happened to you (Oprah and Dr. Perry)The Whole-Brain childBeyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral ChallengesUnwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear and Heal your Mind.

"Is my child Autistic with Demand Avoidance OR is my child PDA?"This is a question I get often from parents, so this is a free training to help you discern the answer that question for yourself. We will cover:Figuring out which "lens" is most helpful to support your unique child and the root cause of the behaviors you observe.Understanding that it is not an "either/or" or binary situation where PDA kids don't have social communication differences or that non-PDA autistic children and teens don't need autonomy and have sensitive nervous systems.Patterns I have observed that help you distinguish for yourself whether your child is PDA.Patterns I have observed among the 100s of parents I work with whose children or teens are indeed PDA.An invitation to take an experimental approach and collect data on *your* unique child.I hope it serves you!To connect with me, find me here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYouTubeFor Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLCThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I answer this very commonly asked question: What is the difference between PDA and trauma? As part of my answer, I discuss five things:1. Why there is so much confusion between PDA and trauma. 2. Why there are different root causes behind similar nervous system activation.3. Where there are points of overlap between PDA and trauma.4. Different approaches to supporting them. 5. What we don't know yet about healing vs. accommodating a neurotype vs. neuroplasticity and where your child will land.Citations:"What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing," by Bruce Perry, MD, Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk"Harnessing Electrochemicals to Treat Disorders Arising from Traumatic Stress" by Ronald Ruden (2019: 223)To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode is an excerpt from the "Progress with PDA" workshop and is a way of looking at progress, even when you feel your most stuck as a parent.This perspective is the "yin" side to the "yang" of tracking data and indicators of progress that you observe of your PDA child or teen as they move out of burnout and towards more well-being. I hope the episode serves you. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I answer the question: "What do I do when my PDA child or teen really wants to do something - see friends, play a sport, engage in an activity - but there is a big fallout afterwards?"To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, Casey shares the logic behind why sticker charts, laminated schedules, strict routines, and many of the supports used with children who have social communication differences and executive functioning differences actually backfire with PDA kids and young adults. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, Casey shares her story from the perspective of a parent as she experienced the time leading up to her son's burnout (3.5 years old), her son's burnout (5.5 years old), and the current moment (8.5 years old).  She ends with a spiritual insight from Buddhism about not shooting oneself with the "second arrow" when things are hard.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I share an excerpt from the Paradigm Shift Program session that focused on Marriage, Co-Parenting, and Communication dynamics while raising a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen. I share my personal story, how raising a PDA child has impacted my marriage and share one fundamental insight about being the "lead" parent vs. the parent who is doing less of the caregiving.This is a great episode to listen to with your partner to help you get on the same page and realize you are not alone in navigating these dynamics!Citations: Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in ChildrenThe Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode with Harry Thompson (Episode 109) has been removed from the website because of allegations against Harry, so I can't link to it as a citation.  Atlantic Article "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" - the concept of "lead parenting" is named in the writing. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I outline the ways in which the description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM)-5 overlaps with some of the surface-level indicators of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy."Although there are many things that look the same on the surface, if we dig deeper to discover the root cause of your child's behavior, you may realize that Oppositional Defiant Disorder isn't really an explanatory diagnostic category, while Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is.I also outline the five things that an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) diagnosis doesn't explain:Internalized expressions of PDA (e.g. freeze/fawn)Trouble accessing basic needs (e.g. toileting indepedently, safety, eating, sleeping, or hygiene)Sensory DifferencesSocial Communication DifferencesNeed for constant undivided attention/coregulationCitations: "High Masking" term by Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLPTILT Parenting Podcast Reference: Episode 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging BehaviorBeyond Behaviors by Mona DelahookeBody-Brain Parenting by Mona DelahookeTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode we explore identifying with a particular neurotype - whether it is Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, Neurotypical, ADHD, or none at all- and the choices we have for ourselves and for our children.At the core, we discuss how autonomy is incorporated into the process of your child choosing an identity, and separating that from medical diagnosis and the nervous system mechanisms that lead to fight/flight/freeze.Hope you enjoy!To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: How do I know whether it is "defiance" or typical kid behavior or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?How do I know whether it is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), or ADHD? Can a PDA child appear totally typical at school or with a grandparent, but not at home?What if my child is not "explosive" - can they still be pathologically demand avoidant? (PDA) Citation:"Beyond Behaviors: Using Compassion and Brain Science to Understand and Solve Children's Challenging Behaviors" by Dr. Mona DelahookeTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: My child doesn't seem Autistic, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)?My child seems typical some of the time, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)? Citations: Term "High Masking" from Rachel Dosey, Autistic SLP"Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity" by Andrew Solomon. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Toileting, we discuss the impact that cumulative nervous system stress has on toileting, through two mechanisms: The nervous system's fight/flight or freeze response and how it impacts the metabolism, cortisol, and adrenaline, all of which impact digestion and toileting, and "Control coalescing" around toileting as a way to get back to a place of perceived safety.The episode concludes with some practical parenting advice on how to get unstuck from a PDA or demand avoidant child who refuses to potty train or who has had a toileting "regression" after being potty trained. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I tackle the complex and often difficult topic of managing siblings and a PDA child at the same time, as well as the impact on siblings of raising a PDA child or child with a sensitive nervous system in the same home. Please note: This is recorded from a live video and so often when I said "Accidentally" I used air quotes because it was not truly accidental. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I answer questions that parents submitted as "secret and inappropriate" about PDA.  I answer as honestly and objectively as possible! The five questions were:✨ Can you have “PDA Lite”?✨ Is PDA always Autism?✨What happened to an older generation of PDAers?✨Can trauma cause PDA?✨Do you think autism and PDA are more common now or do you think it is because we have broader diagnostic tools?Citation:  "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode describes the three stages of the journey that parents of PDA children and teens go through on their path to peace. First, the "Doing Everything" phase where you learn and do everything you possibly can to help your child. Second, the "Structural Change" phase where you make changes to your lifestyle and make difficult tradeoffs that reflect the fact that you are raising a child with a nervous system disability. Third, the "Surrender" phase where you seek out meaning, purpose, nervous system healing (for yourself), and sometimes spirituality as you let go of the things you cannot control in your life. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode describes why allowing yourself an experimental mindset while trying new approaches and accommodations with a PDA child or teen is so important.So you stop judging or paralyzing yourself with a fear of "doing it wrong" or not following some set of rigid rules.So you stop seeking answers that are already within your intuition and capacity to observe in day-to-day life with your child.So you stop comparing your path to other families, whether neurotypical or PDA.So you allow the accommodation practice to be fluid and change as your child does!Citation: "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman, Chapter 7: Fighting the Monster.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I answer the question I get over and over on social media, in my coaching containers and in the programs I run: "Are you just rewarding bad behavior by using an accommodation approach with your PDA child?"It is a very valid question and one that I grapple with daily because we have all been conditioned to think like this. Here I give you four ways to think about this as you are making decisions about whether and how to accommodate your PDA child's nervous system and threat reponse. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode explores "high masking" in PDA children and teens, across both the introverted and extroverted expression. It discusses the importance of recognizing masking, both for the sanity of parents, your child's well-being, and getting access to the structural support (diagnosis, insurance coverage, support at school), that you need.Citations: Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLP (@dorseyslp) for term "High Masking" Sally Cat, Introverted PDA Advocate. See her page "Sally Cat" for more information on masking from perspective of the nervous system. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode teaches you a new way of thinking about how to approach the holiday season with a PDA child or teen.First, of course, you will want to think about accommodations and lowering demands, but you also need to set up a contingency plan, prepare for de-escalation, and then allow yourself to take this year's experience as "data" about what you can change structurally next year to make the holidays for joyful and peaceful for the whole family. I hope this sets you up for success!To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode outlines four things to look for as a parent to help you determine whether your child is PDA or is Autistic with Demand Avoidance. Ultimately, I tell you that what matters most is not the diagnosis or lable, but the which lens wer are supporting our child through and whether it is helping! To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode explains the four things or "states" that naturally regulate your Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child's nervous system:1. Screens2. Another safe nervous system (likely YOU)3. Special interest or "Flow" (citation: Harry Thompson, PDA Autistic Advocate and Author of "The PDA Paradox") 4. Dopamine, novelty or sensory-seeking opportunitiesI offer some examples from my own life to demonstrate how to apply this framework in a practical way to your home while parenting a PDA child. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This brief episode explains what a "cognitive loop" is for a PDA child or teen, when they get stuck between their frontal lobe ("thinking brain") and their amygdala ("survival brain"). This is often when a child is experiencing an *internal* loss of autonomy because they can't do something they want or are trying to do.  I provide exampes from my son's life, for example, on a ninja course and playing a video game. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode is a mix between a pep talk and some gently delivered tough love for parents of PDA children and teens, to get you unstuck, help you feel less alone, and realize that it's all gonna be OK.  I discuss the stages of grief, bargaining, and acceptance, and share examples from my own journey to illustrate and normalize the experience that parents go through. This was originally a part of a Q+A session of the Paradigm Shift Program. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This epsiode provides the NINE key truths and mindset shifts you need to make aligned decisions as a parent of a PDA child or teen around limits and boundaries in the home.Sources of Inspiration and references for mindset shift #9: "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle"Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach"When Things Fall Apart" by Pema ChodronTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode answers a question I often get from parents: If I can't use rewards and consequences with my Pathologically Demand Avoidant or demand avoidant child, how will they learn right from wrong? We talk about the long-game strategy for getting your child into their thinking brain (rather than the "survival brain" or Limbic System) so that they can learn, process information rationally and connect with you.I hope it serves you!Further Reading:For more on your child's "thinking" (or "upstairs" brain) vs. "survival" (or "downstairs") brain, see  Chapter 3 of Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's "The Whole Brain Child"To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode provides five things you can do to support your Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, or otherwise demand avoidant child in their eating, espeically if more traditional behavioral, exposure, or play-based approaches haven't been successful.We talk about five things: Understanding whether eating if your child's "Stickiest" basic need (vs. toileting, sleeping, or hygeine) and whether control coalesces around eating.Looking at eating *first* through the "autonomy and nervous system" lens, rather than first the Sensory Processing lens.Managing your own anxiety and energy around eating.Accommodations including but not limited to: choice, offerings, use of language, Novelty, and buffets.How to adapt therapeutic protocols - like the SOS Feeding protocol - for Pathological Demand Avoidance or a demand avoidant child. For courses and support, you can find services at At Peace ParentsCitations and sources:For more on Declarative Language, please see the "Declarative Language Handbook" by Linda K. Murphy.Term "strewing" coined by Sandra Dodd in the unschooling community. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode is an excerpt from a free training hosted by the Miami Sudbury School about PDA and Self-Directed Education with Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. of At Peace Parents, LLC and Je'anna Clements, an expert in Self-Directed Education.The excerpt is Casey's portion of the training and explains what Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) looks like in children from the outside looking in, as a parent, teacher, therapist, or psychologist, and offers some insights into the types of accommodations that might be helpful for a PDA child in an educational setting. For more information on Pathological Demand Avoidance, see the PDA Society Website. For more course offerings and programs from Casey, check out the website for At Peace Parents. Citation: Kristy Forbes of InTunePathways, in reference to terms "Leveling" or "Compensation" behavior in PDA children.  For more on the "internalized expression" of PDA, please see Sally Cat. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey