Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast episodes

Chicken Cam was live all show long when the people from Tender Fest dropped off a crapload of chicken tenders. Vanessa went to town first, wearing protective gloves, taking down 3 tenders before Jake and Johnny took over. Since it's Friday we brought out the Box of Shame and discovered (shocker) that Ally did something unsavory in an antique shop after breaking one of the items. We also learned Klein's dog is taking on the habit of eating his own crap, which Klein is now troubleshooting by adding meat tenderiser to his food, which will make his crap smell so horrendous he won't want to eat it. Is that even worse? Johnny Doesn't Know brought all body-related questions to Johnny today, and he's pretty sure the frenulum is a part of the boob. Plus an unexpected, very emotional phone call from the brother of Eliana Moreno, the helicopter reporter who was tragically killed in Chatsworth earlier this week.

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Today Ally came in with a challenge for the group and Klein came in with a rack of ribs. For Thrifty Thursday, Ally wants all of us to take the No Spend September Challenge: No non-essential spending, no added subscriptions, no takeout, etc. We're all keeping track of our 'non-essential' purchases for the next two weeks. Will Jake be able to resist buying weird neon posters? Can Vanessa stay off Tiktok shop? Only time will tell. Klein meanwhile spent a lot of money on ribs over the weekend, and he brought a whole rack in to slow-roast during the show. His plan was foiled by a coworker trying to make a baked potato, which sent Klein into a tailspin. In the end, Jake didn't say thank you and Ally ate most of it. We also recapped our Fiesta Siesta yesterday where we finally had the chance to meet Zeke, the #1 contributor to Petty Claims Court. He brought codeine, weed, and showed us his very expensive grill. We also had our first ever legit Boomer winner for Gen Wars!

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Petty Claims Court got heated today when we took an in-house case between Klein and his wife involving fridge etiquette. Klein accused his wife of throwing out things in the fridge before their expiration date. His wife, however, made some interesting points about his hoarder tendencies toward food, which completely changed the outcome of the case. In the end, Klein's best argument was "Um, Hello!?" We brought back an oldie but a goodie today: Annoynimous! We got the chance to vent about all the things that annoy us about each other, anonymously. Today Ally was on the hot seat, and the show attacked everything from her lunchbox to her breakroom conversation and everything in between. We also did Human Bingo today where we heard from virgins, people with annoying animals, and people who have fought animals. We heard from a 39-year old virgin named Sarah who's determined to lose her virginity before she turns 40. Omar also had a lot of weird questions about her other holes. She says she looks like Lady Gaga. Any takers? Plus the things you should never tell your chatbot, covering the horrible helicopter crash in Chatsworth, and Vanessa self-destructing because she stayed up until 10pm watching Practical Magic 2.

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Ally's back after a long weekend away at a big gay wedding. And yes, she cleaned out the buffet. On the flight home a couple with a baby asked her the dreaded question: would you mind switching seats with us so we can sit together? It would have put Ally further back on the plane in a middle seat, so she said now. Is she an asshole? We shared the embarrassing contents of our Google search history today. Who on the show Googled "can dwarfs get pregnant?" Bad things come in threes, but what about fours? To give away tickets to all four of our upcoming SoundSpace performances we heard from people who have done impressive things in groups of four (four marriages, four arrests, etc). We heard from a guy missing four fingers, a woman who was arrested four times in one month, and a very emotional woman who just broke up with her boyfriend for the fourth time. Plus some audio of Moist Joyce being incredibly wasted at a bar which resulted in her licking Jake's leg, the annoying new trend of Wellness Darties (aka daytime parties), and Johnny's worst JASON report yet.

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In today's show Klein gets hustled at a Honey Baked Ham, we see when the last time a Magic: The Gathering nerd got laid, hear about your biggest relationship gaps, review our forced fandom and do a round of Johnny Doesn't Know

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Today was full of weird feelings with the 25th anniversary of 9/11. We all felt differently. Omar wanting to reflect, Ally thinking the coverage was too depressing, and Johnny feeling unaffected as he's too young to remember the tragic event. Regardless, the day felt heavy and no feeling is wrong, except Johnny's. Former KTLA reporter Ellina Abovian returned to the studio today to break down the new Best Of LA issue of LA Magazine, which somehow we were featured in. We also presented her with our custom-made WORST of LA list, which she weighed in on and curated for final approval. Worst parking lot went to Trader Joe's! Are you prepared for the end of days? We aren't, which is why we did an AMA with a Doomsday Prepper. What's the first skill we should learn to survive the apocalypse? How many cans of soup should we stash in our garage? What happens when we run out of toilet paper? We asked every question, dumb or otherwise, and didn't take notes on the answers. Plus, Vanessa has been forced to be a Rams fan as part of our Forced Fandom this NFL season and now she knows what it's like to be a disappointed fan after their dismal showing in Australia. Who's house?!

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Jake knowingly bought a women's shirt at the Guns & Roses show over the weekend, and decided to debut it on the show today. He's convinced it was the right decision. Check out the IG and YouTube Livestream to check it out and see for yourself. We also went down memory lane and went through all the times Klein has accidentally purchased women's apparel. Johnny came across an unexpected $600 yesterday, which Klein convinced him to bet on the Patriots winning the NFL opener last night. As you may know, it didn't work out for Johnny, and he's now painfully aware of the ups and downs of sports bettings. Klein's wife treated him to a Thai massage, but of course because it's Klein things didn't go well. It ended with him being manhandled by a giant Thai woman named Minnie, and he's vowed never to get another massage again. Plus we learned what gross habit we're all doing at bars during Clickbait, discussed the end of the world during Man Vs Machine, and finally had a successful Boomer during Gen Wars! (he still didn't win)

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in today's bonus pod we go over getting new furniture and overpriced clothes

We found a new way to torture ourselves this NFL season. We call it Forced Fandom! Basically we're forcing each other to support a random NFL team all season long, even if we hate them. We must watch games, buy merch, join online communities, and whoever's team goes the farthest gets to ATTEND the Super Bowl in LA at SoFi Stadium Feb 14th. Whoever's team does the worst will have to travel to their team's city to watch the Super Bowl among their new legion of loser fans. We also went down memory lane and played a couple of bits from years past, including Klein's famous Dateline interview. A man named Kegan Klein was a suspect in the Delphi murders, and Omar skillfully inserted clips of Klein when they covered the story on Dateline. It aged well. Meanwhile, we replayed Jake's call to a Pet Store last year leading up to the Super Bowl which featured Jake Squaw-ing to a very confused pet shop owner. This didn't age well. Jake has an interesting new dilemma with his girl friend. She confessed she does NOT like his Patchouli deodorant, but he just bought a big batch of 5 sticks (and some lip balm). Should he get rid of it and buy a new scent? Or keep being Jake? Johnny received unexpected money and Klein convinced him to put it on the NFL game tonight. Can he turn $600 into $1400 so he can buy his dream guitar?

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The Cheez-It Food Court Pop-up has multiple limited edition offerings, but the one we had in-studio today was the Cheez-It flavored cinnamon roll. Naturally we did a high voltage food review to taste it. Ally wanted to try it but figured she probably shouldn't get shocked with a shock collar while pregnant, so the consensus was for Ally to eat while Klein got shocked. It was just as glorious as you could have imagined. Since summer is (sort of) over we did a final tally of our Funner Summer Challenge. Who do you think won/lost? After going through the results we learned Jake has a 'cactus guy' when it comes to getting drugs, and that Vanessa spent way more time in a Bounce House this summer than we thought. Klein met his hero Magic Johnson this weekend after seeing a movie and immediately embarrassed himself. Hear the interaction and weigh in on what he should have done differently (including what his face did in their picture together). Plus we heard Klein have sex with a 100 year-old woman during Old People Secrets, and learned what phone habit could end your relationship during Clickbait

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We're hungover, but we're here! Thank you for coming out to our Endless Summer Kegger. There was excitement, there was drama, and there was a bong-filled gender reveal thanks to Slightly Stoopid. We met new show characters like one-leg Luis, Whorey Tory, and Giggles, and the old standards like Second Hand Cindy, The Budlight Bros, One-Arm Gary and Blind Charlie. Today we brought Johnny in-studio for another round of Johnny Doesn't Know, and his answer for almost every question was 'cheese.' We also tried to determine who is the Most/Least selfish on the show, and the clear #1 for every single one of us was...you guessed it, our resident nerd: Jake. Plus we kicked off the Banger Bus to get you ready for Labor Day weekend!! We love you all and enjoy not-laboring and getting drunk in the sun! (or the rain bc apparently there's a hurricane).

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A fight erupted this morning between Jake and Ally over the fact that Jake wanted to use the show's communal hotel room for his four hour nap before the Endless Summer Kegger tonight. Klein claimed Jake 'demanded it' which sent Jake into a tantrum and ended up with Ally calling him a 'pansy ass bitch.' We're ok, we promise! We had an employee battle his own boss on the air today to earn the day off during Beat Your Boss. Guitar repair man Billy answered trivia questions speed-round style, trying to get more right than his boss Eric of Eric's Guitar Shop. It was a win for the underlings, but a close round for sure! Klein also shared an awkward moment with the school principal involving nudes on his phone, we discussed how to appear more likeable to strangers during Clickbait, and heard your most expensive vet bill stories during El Cheapo!

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In today's bonus pod we go over some details about the kegger, Jake's date and Vanessa shares something juicy

Would you survive a disaster? We quizzed each other on what to do in various disaster scenarios (earthquake, hurricane, flood, etc) and basically we're all dying pretty quickly. Play along and see how long you'd live! Klein got a scary visitor yesterday, a woman who knocked on his door and said he was living in her house and that he needed to leave. At one point she grabbed onto his arm and we're pretty sure she cursed him. She even warned him she'd be back. Is Klein being haunted by a witch? Today we heard a HEATED battle in Petty Claims Court over laundry. Matthew washes it, and Leslie folds it and puts it away. Or does she? It led to a bigger discussion about how to divide up the household chores when one person works and the other one doesn't. Plus an update on Jake's big dinner date, deciding the perfect relationship age gap during Clickbait, and Ally is leaving something very important to Klein in her will, and he definitely doesn't want it.

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Welcome to a new month. Go pay your rent! We got an incredible gift delivered by the one and only Print Gurus...Klein & Ally Plushies!! They're everything we dreamed they would be. They even talk and come with accessories! See them on our IG @kleinallyshow or watch us simulate sex with them on today's YouTube livestream. Today we met a lot more new degenerates in a new round of Human Bingo. We heard from people who were permanently banned, people who just got dumped, and we met a wonderful woman named Marie who has a speech impediment. After t-t-t-talking to her for a few minutes, we decided she will be introducing Slightly Stoopid at the Endless Summer Kegger this Thursday. We celebrated a new month by bringing back Netflix/NOTflix, and Klein wrote some truly ridiculous fake shows this time around. Is "Cold As Balls" a real Netflix show? Plus a conversation about the many different parking choices we all made when seeing Muse at the bowl last night, a new relationship milestone for Jake, and voted on whether or not we should ban texting while walking during Import/Export.

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The full show was back in action today. Klein did not have sex with Sydney Sweeney, but was mad that Ally blew his cover on Friday's show. Ally's sex-fueled weekend didn't go any better, with her attempts at a one-night stand failed horribly, even when it came down to having sex with AI. We did sex up the show today when we broke down a list of the sexiest jobs in America. The list surprised us, with 'Cowboy' at #3 and 'teacher' at number #1. Listen along to chime on what jobs you think should have made the list. Klein is usually the one who gets duped by mislabeled items at the store. After all, he's the guy who bought five hour energy thinking it was for sleep, and bought a non-ice cream filled Ice cream cake for his pool party. This time it was Ally, who thought she bought a Spiderman Lego set at Costco only to come home and find out it was not Lego, it was a 3D cardboard puzzle. Should she go back and return it even after she spent 3 hours building it? Plus the one PHRASE couples should avoid for a successful relationship, a fantasy Draft of all the funniest people, places and things the world has to offer, and someone rubbing their genitals on a guitar.

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Today was a weird one! Klein is outta town, but weirdly you still heard him at least half the time on today's show. We know times like this can be confusing and disorienting. Deal with it, sugar tits! Klein is likely in Idaho, Iowa or Indiana. We're not sure and neither is he, but one thing he knows: Sidney Sweeney is likely staying in the same complex. Will he make her horribly uncomfortable by staring at her with his murder eyes from across the pool? We'll find out when he gets back on Monday! We still covered a lot on today's show. A new Box Of Shame where Ally let the elevator doors close on a handicapped person, Klein embarrassing himself (again) when one of his D Pics showed up on his family digital calendar. We also learned Johnny has no idea what a Peninsula is but DOES know where Dagestan is, and we talked to a Wildlife expert about the many animals infiltrating our neighborhoods due to the never-ending heatwaves.

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We heard some great stories today thanks to the return of Human Bingo. We heard from people who hooked up with their relatives, people missing a body part, drug dealers, people who were in a police chase, even people who died and came back to life! Long story short, we made a lot of new friends today. Our new 'biggest' priority, Rob the Blob, called in again letting us know he sent proof that he is in fact 762lbs. We are extremely skeptical of the photo he sent, which seems entirely AI generated. We also had a 'surprise' guest stop by the studio, Megan Holiday! Though controversy ensued as soon as she walked through the door with no donuts, which she promised us. If you see Megan, call her a bitch!!

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In today's bonus pod we go over eating and the best snacks

We suck at tributes, but we tried multiple times to honor the many celebrities who have died in the last 24 hours. Dolly Parton's idol growing up was the town tramp, grew up so poor her dad had to pay the doctor in cornmeal when she was born, and she once said 'I’m comfortable in my own skin no matter how far I’ve stretched it." Now that's a woman! RIP to the best to ever do it. Later in the show we found out that Tim Curry died at 80 years old, which makes it one of the worst days ever for the gays. Who's next, Ru Paul!? Ally has a 'Hall Pass' this weekend to sleep with any celebrity on the A-C list, which prompted Klein to challenge listeners to present us with the biggest celebrity they know. Now Ally could be sleeping with Patton Oswalt, The Black Power Ranger, or Dewey's stunt double from Malcolm in the Middle. Her wife was on the line approving/nixing every pitch. We also went deeper into Jake's love life (gross), and discovered Jake has already asked the girl he's dating to be his girlfriend. We explicitly told him NOT to do this, but of course he didn't listen and the interaction was awkward to say the least (she didn't say yes.)

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The Dank Tank is back! Listeners unleashed their most original weed-inspired “high-deas,” including Weedmo (Waymo, but for weed), butter-flavored chapstick, and a build-your-own canoe concept that may or may not have involved getting extremely high. Then we brought back 10 Seconds of Rage, giving listeners exactly 10 seconds to unleash their frustrations, and unsurprisingly, the never-ending heat wave gave everyone PLENTY to rage about. Plus, we met Rob the Blob, a man who allegedly weighs more than 700 pounds, never leaves his house, and desperately wants to make it to our Endless Summer Kegger in Newport. The only problem? Getting him there may require a crane, a construction crew, and possibly a full municipal infrastructure project. But hey… is it worth it? And finally, we welcomed our first set of twins to Old People Secrets as they revealed their secrets to living a long life.

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Happy Kobe Day to all who celebrate! The show kicked off with Ally sharing that she had a 'snoregasm' last night, meaning she had an orgasm in her sleep. All that pregnancy bloodflow has its perks! Vanessa was all out of sorts this morning as she dealt with a power outage last night. She seems to think spending the evening with a flashlight and a spray bottle should count as camping for her Funner Summer challenge. This is BS, right? We did a round of Never Have I Ever for tickets to our Endless Summer Kegger. We heard from people who had shockingly never done very basic things like ride a bicycle, eat chipotle, get drunk or travel on an airplane. The clear winner was a guy named Joseph who had never been to a concert OR a bar because he's been in prison for the last 12 years. If you see him at the kegger, help him have the best night of his life! Plus some fascinating new guidelines around cheating that had us all in a heated debate: is it cheating to send someone a heart emoji?

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We spared no expense for the final round of the dumb off today. And by that we mean we spent no money at all, but we did have brand new songs, customized intros, and a brand new shiny sash for the winner! The finals came down to Vanessa, Johnny, and Ally. Vanessa was at a disadvantage because she has a back-to-school cold, but at the end of it all the results, as usual, were contested. Ally got a unique request for an upcoming wedding, which brought up the question: how big of a gift do you get for a wedding you spent tons of money to attend? We heard some highly disturbing stories during our interactive Box of Shame today. We heard from a woman who stole laughing gas from her dental office, a lady who ran over her mom's dog and never told her, and a guy who crapped his pants at LAX. But haven't we all?

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Today Albert Hammond Jr of the Strokes joined us on the show and he was full of KROQ stories from decades past. When told the story of when he was younger and won tickets to Almost Acoustic Christmas when he was caller 20! He paid it forward 25 years later by giving away tickets to Just Like Heaven to caller 20 on the air! Klein returned to the Ralphs and confronted SEVERAL people, both employees and regular customers, about the scam going on regarding ice cream cakes and their lack of ice cream. There was a lot of confrontation and now we're pretty sure he's on some kind of list. Plus we got to a new, VERY heated round of Gen Wars, and we talked to Richard Pink's of Pink's hot dogs about the debut of the Hamdoger in Tokyo!

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In today's bonus pod we check in with Vanessa for dating updates and what podcasts she really loves

It was Klein and Vanessa going head to head in the dumb-off today, but somehow Ally still won. She was the one coming up with the questions, which started with a spelling question about Diarrhea, but there was a lot of debate about answers, question numbers, and an inevitable tie breaker that had Ally forgetting the questions she even asked in the first place. We got into a new Petty Claims today centering around two sisters who now live as roommates, only one of them eats all the food in the house without replenishing. Klein's fight with Ralphs over a mislabeled ice cream cake has reached a new level and later today he will be confronting the manager in person. Will he do so in his new weird purple shirt? There was a massive debate today about whether or not Klein bought a purple shirt. Check out the livestream on KROQ's YouTube channel to see for yourself!

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Happy Anniversary! Today's the anniversary that we made up for our show. We're not even sure how many years it's been, but probably between 3-5. We'll celebrate the way every anniversary should be celebrated: with anal! Part 2 of the Dumb-off happened today, and this time Ally and Omar were on the hot seat. It didn't take long for Ally to get upset with the questions, and she is once again, for the third year in a row, a finalist in the Dumb-Off. Tomorrow SHE will be coming up with the questions as Klein and Vanessa go head to head. Klein made a stern phone call to Ralphs to complain about the ice cream-less ice cream cake he bought before his 'pool party' last Friday. The woman he spoke to was both shocked and annoyed, especially as Klein described his really cool 'party.' We also heard your "full stupid for slightly stoopid" stories to win your way into our Endless Summer Kegger in Newport. Stories included a guy who planned a Fourth of July vacation in Mexico, a girl who screamed the wrong name during sex, and a guy who returned his wife's makeup to the wrong store.

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It's finally here....the return of the Dumb-Off! We each compete in a tournament to determine who the dumbest person on the show is, and though there's a lot of debate on the fairness of the questions, the competition started with Johnny and Jake. They were each asked 7 questions, most of which had to do with eggs and chickens, and there was a clear (and predictable) winner. But it seems Klein has already won the title of dumbest person on the show because of how he dealt with a new medical issue with his ear. When his right ear got impacted with earwax, he decided to go to tiktok for answers. This left him with an ear full of olive oil and lavender this morning and drops of mystery fluid all over his shirt and headphones. We also announced our official ENDLESS SUMMER KEGGER! We'll be doing keg stands with Slightly Stoopid at the Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency Newport Beach on September 3rd. If you want in, listen all this week and next to win your tickets! Today we kicked things off by hearing your best summer injury stories, which resulted in invites for a woman who pulled her groin at a swinger party and a guy who tore his chest muscles during a drunken armwrestling competition.

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Today we learned the one surprisingly simple activity couples should be doing together to strengthen their relationship during Clickbait, then somehow "honored" legendary composer John Williams by attempting yet another of his iconic scores using nothing but children's instruments. One lucky listener walked away with tickets to see him at the Hollywood Bowl, and we all walked away with no musical talent. We also gave the latest update on her massive helicopter gender reveal happening this weekend, while Klein desperately tried to convince everyone to get excited for the team's upcoming "Backyard Hang." The problem is that nobody on the show seemed even remotely interested, aside from Jake, making it one of the least-hyped parties ever. Rounding out the morning, rising KROQ artist Julia Wolf stopped by to talk about her breakout single "In My Room," her upcoming tour, and a wild coincidence, she and Ally attended the same college. Naturally, the conversation immediately veered into whether Julia's college experience included the same questionable extracurriculars as Ally's, including taking ecstasy and masturbating in a dorm bathroom. Turns out, not everyone has the same college memories.

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Spiders are having a moment biting the shit out of everyone right now, so we decided to hear your spider bite stories to make us feel better. It did not. If you want to hear stories about spiders laying eggs in your hair or brown recluse infestations in your attic, you'll love the conversation! Ally has become the person she hates: the annoying loud mom at their kid's sporting event. We listened to audio of her 'cheering on' her kid at his flag football practice and let's just say you might want to turn the volume down when you hear it. Speaking of turning the volume down, Jake tried to play a John Williams movie theme song on the recorder. Can you guess what he's playing? Because we can definitely guess how many people changed the station after hearing it! Plus, we discussed how to improve your sex life during Clickbait, got into a new round of Gen Wars, and heard what's wrong with Omar as he spent all of yesterday in the ER.

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In today's bonus episode we mainly just talk about sex. Sex, sex and more sex. Who is having it, who wants it more (Klein) and how mush is too much

Klein took his kids back to school shopping and ended up getting kicked out of Old Navy for trying to disrobe a mannequin. Why he was in charge of the back to school shopping is beyond us. Ally renewed her passport and is incredibly proud of her new passport photo. She spent a lot of time taking it in her home and submitting it for approval. We compared it to her last passport photo and we're convinced it is NOT an upgrade, which is really saying something. For a visual, check out the YouTube livestream of our IG @kleinallyshow. We also spun the Wheel of Reveal to determine how we do Ally's gender reveal later this week, and we're pretty sure what it landed on will result in someone being seriously injured or killed. Yay! Plus we brought back MASHTAGS and challenged you to Send KROQ Back To School! Best submissions included Sum of 41, Thinkin Park, Straight A-F-I, and Offspring Break!

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Today we shared our school experiences anonymously and tried to guess which story belonged to who. Can you figure it out? -I had cybersex with their music teacher -I got dropped on my head by my team during an assembly performance -I did meth in PE! -I got suspended for stealing supplies from the school store and reselling them to classmates We also heard from the official spokesperson from FBBV (Friends of Big Bear Valley) to discuss the death of Jackie and how Shadow intends to move on and find a new mate. The interview got weird when we asked her about the line of hoebags trying to shack up with Shadow. There was also an incredible reveal about Jackie's lovelife BEFORE Shadow entered the picture. Vanessa and Johnny played more John Williams movie scores on children's instruments, and Johnny also learned a new Train song on Ukelele which solidified his role as Gay Leno. We also heard from people in a psych ward, people calling fresh out of rehab, and people who were recently bit by deadly spiders. Enjoy!

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Klein had an emergency situation in his neighborhood over the weekend, which included helicopters hovering directly over his house making an important announcement over a loudspeaker. The only problem is the announcement was impossible to understand, leaving his family in a state of panic. Today we played epic movie theme songs on children's instruments that we brought from home. Ever wanted to hear the imperial march on an electric drum kit made for toddlers? Then you'll want to give this game a listen! It's back to school week, so we brought back Don't Be A Dick: Back to School Edition! Nominees included parents who take forever to hug their kids at dropoff, teachers who assign homework on the first day, and people who post first-day-of-school chalboard photos on Instagram. Plus we covered how to not get dementia during Clickbait, a recent writeup for the show that made it into LA Magazine's Best of LA, and Ally's quest to purchase the perfect new couch.

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Ally got naked on the show today to weigh her pregnancy boobs on a food scale, but before she could disrobe, Johnny came in with a giant pop-up tent to shield her from view. The livestream also cut out all by itself, so clearly God doesn't want anyone to see Ally naked. Regardless, we did get an accurate weight for both boobs and one is WAY heavier than the other. Since school is starting again soon, we wanted to hear the most scandalous summer stories from teachers we could find. We heard from a teacher who made a 'slut pact' with a fellow teacher, another who did mushrooms ON CAMPUS, and a math teacher who passed out in a hotel hallway. A+, teachers!!! We also talked to a divorce attorney about how couples are now getting divorced due to AI cheating. Do you think cheating with a chatbot is grounds for divorce? The discussion led to an impromptu intervention on Klein, who's had countless sexual interactions with Grok.

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Postmaster Johnny has a brand-new nickname, and it's one he'll probably never escape. After deciding he bears a striking resemblance to Jay Leno, and taking into account some of his more unique tendencies, we officially christened him "Gay Leno." He begins his first week filling in for Megan Holiday on KROQ nights. The Big Bear bald eagles have been making headlines with all the family drama in their nest, so we wanted to know: Is your family even crazier? Listeners called in with unbelievable stories that prove every family has its own brand of chaos. Plus, Generation Wars returns as another battle breaks out between the age groups. And El Cheapo is officially back! Ally, the Queen of Cheap, shares her favorite ways to save money on back-to-school shopping, from school supplies to clothes, helping parents stretch their budgets without sending the kids back looking like they shopped in the lost-and-found.

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In today's bonus pod we go over who would get Ally's kids, overthinking and MORE

Local competitive eater Raina Huang aka @rainaiscrazy joined us in-studio today to take on a food challenge from Fat Sal's. She attempted to eat a french dip faster than any of us, and let's just say you have to see it to believe it. Check out today's YouTube livestream to see the video, or check it out on IG @kleinallyshow. We also tried to take on Fat Sal's famous Big Fat Fatty challenge, a massive 13 pound sandwich loaded with cheesesteak, pastrami, five cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, bacon, mozzarella sticks, fried eggs, onion rings, jalapeno poppers, fries, chili, marinara, and signature fat sauce. Could the entire morning show take it down? The answer is no. Jake went to the DMV yesterday to fulfill his punishment for failing the driving test, and because he went on his birthday he turned it into a party, complete with a birthday hat, balloons, a pizza and a full cooler of beer. How long did he make it before security approached? We went into the whole saga & there's a lot of debate on whether or not Jake needs to repeat the punishment. We also tried to determine who the laziest person on the show is during Most/Least (the answer is Klein) and Klein detailed his experience watching The Odyssey in IMAX, a movie he claims was cockblocked by fog.

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Happy Birthday Jake! To celebrate, he'll be having a birthday party at the DMV as part of his punishment for losing the driving test last week. He'll be at the Glendale DMV with a birthday hat on from 1-5pm if you'd like to stop by and say hi! Klein brought two items into the studio today, a lighter and a leaf blower. Neither of them made anyone happy. The lighter was a birthday present for Jake because it said 'I'm a big dill' on it. He also brought in his brand new leafblower and tried it out in the studio. It sent Ally into a frenzy as dust and hair blew all over the studio. We even listened to audio of him using it at home and it went equally well with his family. We also talked about the most stressful day of the year during Clickbait, we heard your Funner Summer Fail stories (shoutout to Jess who peed on a trampoline) and got another exit interview from one of Jake's Bumble first dates.

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Klein's Funner Summer took a turn for the worse this weekend when he broke his nose trying to throw his kid in the pool. It resulted in a fountain of blood and a new hatred for 'relaxing' summer activities. Pickles and pregnant ladies go together like Klein & Ally. And to prove it we brought in a panel of pregnant ladies to sample all the of the newest pickle concoctions from the Pickle Guy himself, Scott Kaylin, founder of Kaylin & Kaylin pickles and creator of the new recipe book For the Love Of Pickles. If you want to see video of pregnant women going ham on nacho cheese-covered pickles, pickle sushi and nutella pickles, check out today's livestream on YouTube! If you didn't see Spiderman this weekend, you're probably the only one. But don't worry, friend-of-the-show Moist Joyce re-enacted the movie for us with all the rasp and gravitas that 40 years of LA public transit can bring you.

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Who's going to spend 5 hours at the DMV for no reason? Ally and Jake scored the lowest on the DMV written test which resulted in a physical driving test with a certified instructor to determine the official loser. We listened to audio of both Ally and Jake's test and we even heard from Juan the driving instructor himself, who delivered the final results live on the air. A while back during Bet your Fet we heard from an anonymous caller who enjoys putting gummy worms in his girlfriend's hoo-ha during sex. Today, we heard from him again, and he had big news: he got engaged! After pleasuring his girlfriend gummy-worm style on the Queen Mary, he popped the question in a very graphic, very NSFW way. Continuing on the vagina-train, we also did a lady parts-themed Johnny Doesn't Know, where we got some very graphic drawings from Johnny trying to demonstrate the labia minora and majora. We also settled a big internet question 'how many times does the average person fart in a day?' during Clickbait.

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In today's bonus pod we go over jake's blow up and how awkward our high school days were

The undisputed King of fair food Chicken Charlie stopped by the studio today to show us this year's concoctions: The chicken shawarma cone and the Mangonada fried mangos with chamoy and Tajin. Pregnant Ally dove in right away and Charlie single-handedly contributed to MAFA (Making Ally Fat Again.) We forced ourselves to take an improv class earlier this week, and it was just as much of a train wreck as we thought it would be. In an exercise called 'one word story,' Vanessa reinforced a storyline she's been fighting for over a year. She will now forever be the chicken lady! We also learned the one phrase that will make you instantly likeable during Clickbait, had a rare millennial winner during Gen Wars, and we heard a passionate Petty Claims course where a woman accused her husband of using too many pots and pans when he cooks.

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Sometimes friends fight, and today was one of those days. Early in the show Klein & Ally played audio of Jake presenting a plaque to the Violent Femmes at the Bellwether last night. After some criticism on his performance, Jake had had enough and a big on-air blowout ensued. Ally, Klein & Jake went at it for a hot minute, and many listeners weighed in on the situation, leading to a bigger discussion about what happens when busting balls goes a little too far... On the flip side, today was a day to celebrate! Our favorite fangirl Second Hand Cindy turned 69 today. To celebrate, she was downing screwdrivers and reminiscing about the many times she almost died. We also heard stories of the craziest things your exes have done, all related to the new hit movie Obsession. We talked to a woman named Kelly who promises she ISN'T crazy, she just DOES crazy things occasionally (cue maniacal laughter)

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Klein has taken on a new hobby. He plans to become an expert at leaf-blowing. It's perhaps his strangest endeavor so far, but if you'd like to hire Klein for a weekly blow & go please let us know. All of us who are in relationships are allegedly whipped by our partners, but who's the MOST whipped? Jake shared things we've done with/for our significant others recently and it was unbelievably to hear how spineless we really are. Spoiler alert: someone on the show rented a snorkel to find their wife's bracelet in the pool. Comedian Ryan Hamilton stopped by the studio to talk about his traumatic experience getting hit by a shuttle bus at LAX, almost killing him. It led to a call-in topic on near death experiences which included a story about a guy going into a six month coma after a motorcycle accident. We also did a live on air gender reveal for a listener couple who's expecting, and as usual we screwed it up.

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If you came to this show for intelligent thought-provoking content, please don't listen to this episode. Jake tried to make one of those viral 'cooking food on the street' videos during this weekend's heat wave, but because he's Jake it wasn't a food any of us care about. He grilled a mustard sandwich on the street, and even went so far as to run it over with a car to give it the full 'panini' press treatment. The full video is on our IG @kleinallyshow Klein's dad made an unbelievable purchase which led to a phone call with both his mom and his dad discussing the disturbing details. We also learned about the most powerful three words you can say during Clickbait, heard your nominees for most annoying people during a heat wave during Don't Be A Dick, and we officially kicked of PARK WEEK!! Send pics of bad parking jobs to KROQ.COM/PARKWEEK for your chance to win tickets Pierce the Veil at Petco Park, Rise Against at Great Park Live, and Dia De Los Deftones at Petco Park!

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With thousands of people having to re-take the DMV written test after a cheating scandal, we decided to take one on the air. The catch: whoever loses has to spend hours alone inside the DMV. How many hours, you say? One hour for every incorrect answer. It came down to two people in the end. There were tantrums, controversies, and a lot of debate on who the loser is. Johnny proved his idiocy is alive and well during Johnny Doesn't Know today when he was asked all Ocean-related questions. A question about how dolphins breathe resulted in Johnny doing a graphic impression of dolphin sex. Ally fell on the treadmill at the fitness center in the building, and it was so bad that a security guard came over to check on her. We are currently on a mission to uncover the surveillance video, with nationwide distribution to follow. Plus another awkward exit interview from another of Jake's first dates. Yes, he had three of them in one week after Ally & Vanessa revamped his dating profile, and they've still received not one THANK YOU!

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Today's show had lots of nostalgia as we got into another round of Gen Wars, and the hit 90's duo Kriss Kross came up, which turned into an impromptu white lady dance party for Ally. It took a quick turn when we learned one of them has since died of a drug overdose, but we have plans to book Kross and talk to him on the show. Gen Wars also reignited every boomer's favorite catchphrase: Book 'em, Dano! Ally is taking Vanessa camping this weekend and she had a slew of questions because this will be her very first official camping trip. Questions included: -can I bring my carry on? -do I have to poop in a hole? -can we hike with our cars? We also had a long discussion about how long a person should live during Clickbait, where we learned the average person could theoretically live to the age of 156. We had a real doctor call-in live to give us advice on how to extend our lives.

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In today's bonus pod we go over Johnny's fuck up, office drama and Klein's new weird online obsession

Would you risk explosive diarrhea for great radio? We did. After hearing about the Taylor Farms lettuce recall linked to cyclospora, we bought a bunch of the affected salad kits, slapped them on the Roulette Wheel, and each ate a bag to see who gets explosive diarrhea. The only problem: How will we know Jake got it when he already gets diarrhea every day? Brad and Matt Schultz of Cage the Elephant stopped by the KROQ studio to talk about their new song Beaches in Tennessee, the wild story of growing up in a strict religious household where their dad literally destroyed their Nirvana and Green Day CDs with pliers, Matt's new role as a dad, their upcoming album, and what it was like touring with Oasis. Ally's wife attempted to cook dinner for the family, and the audio is painfully relatable for anyone who's ever stared at a recipe wondering what "use a large bowl" actually means. Plus we discussed the one thing you can do to get upgraded on an airplane in Clickbait & much much more!

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Jake detailed his first Bumble date after Ally and Vanessa overhauled his dating profile, and it had an incredible plot twist no one was anticipating. Sure, he made the bold choice to take her to his own neighborhood bar, but that's just the beginning. e got an unfiltered exit interview with the woman herself. Meet Shelly and hear what she really thought about her night with Jake. Later, actor Seth Green stopped by the studio and offered some advice to Jake on his dating life. We also took a trip through Seth's legendary career, talking Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Can't Hardly Wait, the Austin Powers Reboot, and the surprisingly iconic "Cha-Ching!" guy that everyone in the South seems to know. Plus, we reveal the surprising sign your friendship is built to last in Clickbait, debate the etiquette of late-night and early-morning texts, and we even covered a live police chase of a murder suspect during ADD News!

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The great Seth Green returns to KROQ to talk about Global Gaming League

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The great Seth Green returns to KROQ to talk about the Global Gaming League

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Jake the Nerd is hanging on by a thread after a cricket moved into the walls of his shack and refuses to leave. Sleep has become a distant memory, but there's finally some good news: he turned on the dating profiles Ally, Vanessa, and Johnny made for him, and one profile is clearly delivering. Believe it or not, Jake has an actual date with a real human later today! Meanwhile, Klein is still trying to recover from an unforgettable Vegas weekend that included an all-nighter, mushrooms, gambling, and chatting with a group of Backstreet Boys-loving moms. The night ended with making landline calls to Hawaii and Alaska from his hotel room in order to take full advantage of his resort fees. Plus, listeners shared the surprising things they gave up in solidarity with their pregnant partners, from alcohol and coffee to dairy, eggs, and even an entire Honduras vacation. We wrapped things up with an AMA from a lifeguard who pulled back the curtain on everything from dramatic rescues to the weirdest things people do at the beach. Ally Johnson

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This show goes down as one of the top 5 weirdest of all time. Longtime listener one-arm Gary, who's had one arm for 40 years, received a new robot arm from the doctor today and debuted it on our show. It was janky, broken, and apparently cost him $40,000. Regardless, he celebrated by using it to help Ally administer her final IVF shot (she can finally stop her meds this weekend!) It was risky, awkward, and you can get it with the visual on the YouTube live stream We also officially remade Jake's Bumble and Tinder profiles. One was made by Johnny and one made by Ally & Vanessa. They will both be live soon and we'll see which profile gets more matches. Klein uncovered a strange new fashion trend while out to dinner with his wife. She was wearing a 'draping sweater,' aka a sweater that isn't worn, only draped. We also debuted a new game called Odyssey or Audacy? Is it a review for our company, or Christopher Nolan's new epic film The Odyssey? It might just be the easiest game we've ever done...

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LA is baking in a heat wave, so we sent Jake the Nerd back into the wild for Pit Stops! Armed with his nose and a microphone, he sniffed strangers' armpits to find out who passed the freshness test. Luckily this time he came prepared with Klein.Ally.Show-branded deodorant stick for everyone who needed it. You're welcome! Comedian Pat McGann stopped by the studio to talk about the highs and lows of parenting, and helped listeners survive the second half of summer by dishing out advice for dealing with their most annoying kids. Meanwhile, Klein paid a visit to a questionable dentist to get a bizarre medieval-looking mouth device to help alleviate his snoring. He also told him he needs to improve his chi and somehow make his tongue less fat. We're convinced he's being scammed. Plus, the generations went head-to-head once again in Gen Wars, and geophysicist Stefan Burns joined us to break down the recent Kern County earthquakes, explain what they could mean for California, and share why he thinks the long-feared "Big One" may be closer than we think.

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In today's bonus pod we go over the best idea for snacks, a new race and MORE

The $12 cup of Erewhon 'Sacred Water' was in-studio today for a taste test. Since she has heightened senses from pregnancy, Ally was the one to test various cups of water, including one from the bathroom toilet, to see if she could identify the Sacred Water correctly. Klein and Ally both had serious conversations with their wives about hall passes: would they allow them? Who would they be? Both conversations went very differently, and now our number one priority is booking Steve Buscemi on the show. Jake is on the rebound and back on the dating apps, but needs massive help with his dating profile. We broke it down today, pic by pic, and Vaness managed to shoot down each and every photo he had on his profile. It was determined that we must burn the foundation to the ground and completely start over. Can Vanessa and Ally turn Jake into an eligible bachelor? We also heard a new heated argument in Petty Claims Court where a guy accused his sister of constantly posting ugly photos of him online without his consent.

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After listening to this podcast you'll never climax without saying "HARIBO!" again. Today we brought back a classic, Bet Your Fet, where people with fetishes call in & we guess their fetish based on a few simple facts. The guy who called in had quite possibly the weirdest fetish we've ever heard. You have to hear it to believe it, and we recommend eating BEFORE listening. Who's the most annoying person at a restaurant? Klein & Ally both had to endure family dinners with a LOT of annoying restrictions. Gluten Allergies, dairy allergies, soy allergies, kids, special requests, not to mention Ally's restrictions being pregnant. It led questions about the most annoying food-orderers, but the argument was put to rest when a woman called in to tell us about her OCD Diabetic Celiac grandma. Winner! Ally got the opportunity to meet Omar's brother when he gave her a ride to the airport over the weekend. She learned some fascinating new details about Omar's family and who got the 'good' genes in his family. We also debuted a new game Neckflix or Notflix: was it a real comment made on social media about Klein's massive neck, or something we made up? Did a listener comment that Klein looks like Benjamin Neckenyahu, or was that the work of our talented team of writers? (we have no team of writers)

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Klein staycationed in LA, Ally vacationed in Hawaii, & Jake had the worst day of his life. Regardless, we all gained weight over the breath. We covered it all on our first day back. Did you miss us? Don't answer that. What's the most overrated vacation experience? Ally shelled out over $300 for a Luau while on vacation and it ended up being a total letdown. It led to calls about bungee jumping, total eclipses, and other overrated activities Who's the Most/Least fun on the show? We all presented our lists, with Vanessa being voted the most fun and Jake, Ally & Klein all rotated along the bottom. Who tops your list & why? Klein's kid is doing something new and embarrassing at a restaurant where she draws a picture of the server and makes Klein hand the picture to the server. It led to a horrible awkward scenario with an Asian waiter... Plus a few new things added to our to-do-list: blind taste testing high-end water, scoring a penalty kick with no training, and printing the new mockups of our limited edition "I've Never Been Intimate With Jake" T-shirts!

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In today's show Ally gets a house wife, we get a new employee of the month nominee, try to beat the robots in man vs machine, have an AMA with a mascot and welcome the return of Baby J

In today's show we have an intervention for Klein's phone skills, we remember TIP BOLI, hip you to some scams and reveal a terrible unaired commercial

In today's show Klein gives his kids the talk about drugs, we decide if Ally's friend is cheating and Jake freaks out over a shirt

In today's show Klein does bathroom interviews, we bet your feet, we have a lez off, play the smell game, Ally practices her Spanish and we have an AMA with a nurse

In today's show we have a blind butt test, talk to the throat goat, have an AMA with a stripper and Klein tries singing his wife to sleep

Enjoy this show with hopefully all of your fingers

Happy birthday, America! We celebrated the Fourth of July the only way we know how: by discovering just how little Johnny knows about the country. Today during Johnny Doesn't Know we asked basic questions about America, including what "give me your John Hancock" means. His answer was gayer than you could possibly imagine. If you're looking to celebrate America in all the wrong ways, this is the episode for you. We also played a patriotic edition of Generation Wars, with Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Boomers battling it out for ultimate bragging rights. Plus, Klein shares audio from his sad attempt to score a free Starbucks drink for his half-birthday. I held up the line and ended with a homeless man yelling at him. Meanwhile, Ally narrowly avoided getting sideswiped by a woman driving on the 405, only for the driver to make one of the weirdest getaway moves ever. Plus El Cheapo returns as Ally shares her favorite restaurant money-saving hacks that might just make your next meal a little cheaper.

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In today's bonus pod we go over smoke alarms, jake's type and learning more about each other than we wanted

Today's show kicked off with one of the most awkward family vacation dilemmas imaginable. Ally revealed that she's about to share an Airbnb with her parents, but there's one major complication: Her mom has a long-standing tradition of having vacation sex with her husband immediately after arriving at their destination. That sparked a conversation about bedroom placement, coordinating times for the rest of the family to be out of the house, and how much planning should go into someone else's sex ritual. Then Ally's mom, aka the "Throat Goat," called in to share the graphic details. With 4th of July around the corner, we also heard some absolutely wild stories about how listeners lost fingers, a fitting tribute to what's statistically one of America's biggest finger-blowing-off holidays. That led into a debate over what the greatest accomplishment in America's 250-year history really is. Is it BBQ? The lightbulb? The internet? Or is America's finest contribution to the world simply Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? We also settled another real-life dispute in Petty Claims Court, where a married couple battled over the husband's refusal to use Google Maps. He insists his common sense and memory are all he needs to get anywhere, while his wife argues that his confidence usually ends with missed exits, wrong turns, and arriving late to dinners, parties, and important events. The courtroom heard both sides before listeners delivered the final verdict.

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Would you download an app where you order your favorite meal, knowing it'll never arrive? A new app in South Korea is designed to give you the dopamine hit of ordering food without the calories, and it sparks a surprisingly heated debate about whether we should import it to the US. Things got even weirder when Vanessa admitted she "pretend-orders" food on delivery apps just for fun. We also heard from short people about the everyday struggles tall people never think about, from getting patted on the head and climbing grocery store shelves to shopping for heels in the kids' section. Ironically, comedian Brad Williams stopped by the studio and answered even more questions about life as a little person. Plus we debut a brand-new game, Is It Younger or Older Than America? You'll be shocked by the ages of things like pianos, bourbon, and Princeton University. And finally, Ally secretly records herself asking her wife for a threesome. The answer isn't exactly what she was hoping for... but she does get permission for a virtual fling, with a few very specific caveats

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Vanessa completed her first Funner Summer challenge when she accompanied Ally to Wild Rivers and got drunk. At one point she accosted people in the lazy river trying to steal their inner tubes. Good times! Ally shared the results of her first ultrasound. Does she have more than one baby in there? Listen to find out the big reveal! World's #1 Competitive Eater Joey Chestnut joined us in preparation for his most important event of the year: The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship. He talked about how he prepares to eat 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes, whether he'll let scientists study his stomach after he dies, and what the best drunk meal in the world is. We also discussed the biggest dick at a Barbecue in Don't Be A Dick and brought back your dog's favorite 4th of July game: Gunshot or Firework!

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Does Ally think about divorcing her wife? Does she look at other girls' asses at the gym? These questions and more were answered this Lie Day Friday: Lesbian edition! Things got tense when Ally's wife called in with some jaw-dropping questions about divorce, their new pregnancy, and her newfound tapping hobby. Comedy band Wolves of Glendale stopped by to play their new single "Reptile Guy," and they did some improvised songs on the fly that we'll never forget. Want a Justin Beiber-style song about peeing in the pool? Or a song about Breakfast for Dinner in the style of Coldplay? You don't have to choose! We reopened the Box of Shame today and finally heard a story from someone other than Klein. Omar did something at a Barbecue that many would think as shameful. But are you on his side? Plus Blind Charlie's new quest to walk across the country with a Klein.Ally.Show sign, which began our quest to find Charlie a kidney. If you know anyone with an extra kidney, hit us up.

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It's "Bring your dog to work day" in the building, which would be fun for a normal person, but not for Ally. Are you team Ally or team dog? It's easy to be a dog lover, but do we really need a building full of anxious animals urinating on all the potted plants? Are we taking the 'bring dogs everywhere' trend a little too far, or is Ally a soulless fun-hater? Matt Bellamy of Muse stopped by the studio to talk about their new album The WOW! Signal, officially out Friday Jun 26th. We talked to Matt about who he thinks will win the World Cup, his terrible Irish accent, and he even reviewed Ally's kid's first original song, played on the Ukulele. We also played a brand new game of password with Moist Joyce, learned Klein bought an original painting from someone during Meet The Neighbors, and talked about the different types of pool people: are you a player, a stander, a watcher, or an 'ankles only' guy?

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In today's bonus pod we cus our asses off

Vanessa was at a bar last night watching Colombia take on Austria, and we got the privilege of listening to audio of her celebrations. If you didn't think she could get any louder, you'd be wrong. Ally joined an AI dating coach app for advice on how to convince her wife to engage in a threesome as part of our Funner Summer challenge. It ended with her hitting on the AI dating coach and being rejected, which then led to Klein asking Grok for a threesome which yielded a very different result. Since it's Prime Day all week, we celebrated with another round of Prime Day Price is Right! We don't want to give it away, but one lucky guy named Matt won himself a giant bottle of Vacation Body Oil! Plus we got a newly single guy on the party bus to Santa Barbara to see Royel Otis, even though he technically won because he tried to cheat on his girlfriend with her own Aunt.

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Klein. In. Oil! Klein's been working on his body all spring and today was the big reveal of his summer bod. He lathered himself in shimmering body oil and paraded himself around the studio just as a bunch of guests were arriving. You gotta check out today's YouTube livestream to see it for yourself. Gorillaz' Jamie Hewlett finally sent us a package as a thank you for the jacket Klein gave him last time he stopped by the studio. We also got another big deliver: our KAS branded burger bibs from Burger 3000! And speaking of burgers... Three high end burger spots stopped by the studio today to celebrate burger week. They cooked up burgers in our company kitchen and brought in some of the best burgers we've ever seen. In order to earn the right to eat them, Jake had to do a blind smell test and correctly identify the burgers. It went haywire in the end because Johnny is a massive idiot. We also heard from Ally's wife today during Lezbihonest. The question was: is katie turned on by Ally's pregnancy boobs? Her answer revealed a plot twist none of us saw coming... Plus we learned what annoying thing you're doing at grocery checkouts during Clickbait, uncovered a scam our company was trying to pull on us, and challenged Jake to travel somewhere new to combat his early onset agoraphobia. Hertogenbosch, here we come!

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Today we met a woman named Sugar Honey Iced Tea, and if you're not excited about summer yet she will change your tune in 5 seconds flat. Klein had an eventful Father's Day when he popped two gummies and then immediately had to deal with his dog getting sprayed by a skunk. He proceeded to do all the wrong things which ended in him and his dog being trapped in a shower covered in peanut butter. We heard all your Father's Day fail stories, which included a dad who was pooped on, a dad who had to take his drunk wife to the ER, and a dad who had to abandon his tri-tip mid-grill when his kid got bitten by a Pomeranian. One of those lucky guys got himself a brand new TCL TV to make up for the worst Father's Day ever! What's the gayest thing about you? We'll go first. Klein drinks coffee with a straw and follows shirtless men on Instagram. Johnny once was late to work because he had to 'change outfits.' Jake is obsessed with the color purple and buys women's shoes, and Vanessa spends her free time roller blading. Where do you fit in? One thing we know: Ally's the straightest person on the show.

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In today's show there's a new relationship deal breaker, we give you a TSA PSA, do a round of Man vs Machine, open the Box of Shame and Klein wants a robot toilet

in today's show Klein has a pest problem, Ally gets a trainer, we redo some Father's Day cards, get you Dadfessions and have a Generation War

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The bonus pod where we reveal our deepest, darkest secrets and get to swear while doing it!

In today's show we debut Fat Ally songs, Klein's wife makes the worst food order of all time, Jake wants to change his smell, we get your best dad sayings and have an AMA with a private detective

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Ally got into an on-air fight with her arch nemesis Fat Ally, who's attempting to make a comeback during her second pregnancy. We say let Fat Ally take the reins, and the leftovers! Today we heard stories about times your dad solved a problem in the most "dad" way possible. Like the time a girl was sent home for her pants being too big, so her dad duct taped the pants around her waist and sent her back to school. Or the dad who put his kid in a sling using a broomstick. Or the dad who blindfolded his daughter to help her conquer her fear of driving. Thanks for being you, dads! We got an incredible call today from a guy who almost died after being swept away by a wave in Newport Beach, only to be saved by a lifeguard as he clutched onto his son. It got emotional. Listen if you want your heart strings tugged followed by us still making asses of ourselves. We also wrote new Hallmark jokes for our annual Father's Day Card remix, learned the best pre-date ritual in Clickbait, and why queef and potatoes will help you live forever in Old People Secrets!

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Klein took a trip to the Pasadena Humane Society this weekend and was talked into adopting a dog, but a twist at the end left him empty-handed. Ally's animal experience of the weekend was getting crapped on by a bird at the Long Beach Aquarium. Both stories prove we shouldn't be allowed around people OR animals. We kicked off Father's Day week by hearing the worst/best advice your dad ever gave you (or that you ever gave to your kid). Good advice included how to properly pour a beer, and bad advice included having sex with a wig on to 'keep it interesting' in the bedroom. Don't Be A Dick, Rich People! We continued our effort to eliminate the dicks of the world by publicly shaming them, and today we focused on dick rich people. Nominees included bad tippers, people who drive slow in fast cars, and non-fans who go to sporting events as a flex. Which rich dick would you like to nominate? We also went through a relationship satisfaction quiz and we quickly learned most marriages aren't happy ones. Like us, they're just ok!

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It was an eventful Friday, complete with texting our exes and tantrums about t-shirts. Years ago Klein wore a red shirt to work. Jake wanted the shirt and Klein promised to give it to him. Two years later the shirt is here in the studio, but now everyone else wants it. It resulted in Jake having a HUGE tantrum on the air and calling Johnny a 'dumb bitch.' You gotta hear it to believe it. Text An Ex is a new segment we kicked off today where we chose a random person on the show and gave them a phrase that they must text their ex. Ally was up, and she had to text her ex Olivia, the last girlfriend she had before meeting Katie. She did get a response right away, and she read the conversation on air AS her wife was listening, pissed. We did Johnny Doesn't Know: World in honor of the start of the World Cup. We learned Johnny thinks Russia is a continent and that Japan is known as The Land of the Nice People. We also did a new round of Lifetime Achievement Awards, summer edition! Vanessa nominated the beach chair, Jake nominated the half-bag of ice in your freezer, Ally nominated the grill, Johnny nominated the open beach parking spot, and Klein nominated 'Hoes & Hose." Who gets your vote?

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We started off the show with a mystery. Ally has superhuman smell since she's pregnant, and a new offputting smell made its way into the studio. Surprisingly, it wasn't Jake. It led to an impromptu blind smell test where Ally smelled each and every member of the show, and the culprit will surprise you. What's the right end of year gift for a teacher? Klein gave his kids' teachers an elaborate gift before giving them awkward hugs and yelling "HAGS" at them. It didn't go well. We heard stories of your least impressive awards, which included a 'work life balance' award, a 'best answer & participation' award, and a man who received a bucket of lobsters for 'clawing his way to the top' of the sales team. We heard even MORE audio of Vanessa at pride, and once more we got additional sound bites. Thank you ladies and gentleman!

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Klein isn't great with names. We tested his knowledge by bringing coworkers into the studio and seeing if he could name them. It was awkward, hilarious, and if we brought the same people in next year he probably still wouldn't know their names. Watch along on the KROQ YouTube for a pleasing visual aid. Earlier this week we learned Ally successfully got pregnant, and Klein's kids have some interesting theories as to how she got knocked up, including having sex with Klein and having sex with her wife 'super hard.' We listened to the audio to hear the reasoning behind their theories. Do robots know more about health and wellness than humans? The wellness trend is all the rage right now, but we're mostly getting our health advice from tiktok and chatgpt. Let's see who's got the most accurate info, us or our future robot overlords. Plus the debut of a new summer song written exclusively by Johnny and Vanessa. Is it a certified banger? You decide!

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We're doing an event this Friday! Join us + Second Hand Cindy this Friday for a BUZZBALL event at 5880 Manchester, aka the 7/11 by LAX. We'll be there from 3-5pm and Cindy will be signing your Buzzballz and doing a dramatic reading of her finest Buzzball memories. It will be one of the weirder things you do this summer, so how can you say no?? We heard your stories of times you won, then lost. Spencer Pratt thought he won 2nd place in the Mayoral race, but has since learned he lost the lead. This led to stories about failed jackpots, un-winning new cars & more. Jake interviewed people on the streets of LA asking them what advice they have for the many international tourists about to flood the streets for the World Cup. It gave us one of our favorite new catchphrases. Tourists: LA love you. We also heard another round of Vanessa being drunk at pride and it was quite possibly even better than yesterday's. Booobieeesss!!

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Vanessa went to WeHo pride, got drunk, and interviewed the gays. As usual, it did not disappoint. We found out quickly she didn't know how to pronounce NBA, Scottie Scheffler, or Eiffel Tower. It gave us all the Vanessa soundbites we need for the rest of the year. Ally got her IVF results on Friday. Today she revealed the results on the air. Do you think Round 2 was successful?? Listen along or SEE the results on the YouTube Livestream. One of us was high for the entire show. Which one of us was it? Viral 90's music fanboy Jacob Givens stopped by the studio today to talk about his new event GenX fest, and we tested his music knowledge compared to the other Jake on the show, Jake the Nerd. If you ever thought you were good at naming Alt Rock songs, Jacob Givens likely has you beat. Plus new details about a potential new event called Kegs & Gregs!

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What's the whitest thing about you? Ally is the whitest person we know. We heard lots of 'Most Interesting Man In The World' style commercials today of the whitest things about Ally, and celebrated her whiteness even further with Shawn Wayans (White Chicks) in-studio. After chatting about the new Scary Movie 6 hitting theaters today, we took calls from listeners sharing the whitest thing about them, including a woman named Becca who was so obsessed with the brand Roxy that she got it tattooed in her ankle. Klein has a new obsession, this time having to do with live eBay auctions. He even got the livestreamers to mention the Jake Shake and his 18" neck. Ally has a war brewing in her home over Lucky Charms and now she wants to go back to being a 'non-sugar cereal' household. Too late? We did an interactive Box of Shame with listeners, to cleanse your soul going into the weekend, and boy did you deliver. We heard from a woman who's taking plan B behind her husband's back and a man who jizzed on his coworker's cookies (upon her request.) We also released a new incredible new video straight from Klein's house, of him carrying water jugs shirtless across his kitchen. Check out our IG stories @kleinallyshow for one of the weirder things you'll see today.

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If you got a lung infection from drinking dirty ass foot juice, you could be entitled to compensation. A wild story about selling foot juice at a California Fanime con event gave us an interesting hypothetical and an unexpected dance party. Klein realized that he's been wearing a religious hat for a few weeks now and getting good/strange looks from people. Should he lean into it? He tried out his new Godlike identity by leading us in a prayer that had lots of thee's and thy's in it. We debuted an incredible new game today called Is It Thicker Than Klein's Neck? Since protein-loading and working out like crazy, Klein's neck and gotten massive. 18.12 Inches to be exact! We took calls and compared Klein's neck to everything from cantaloupes to handles of rum and everything in between. Jake and Ally's wife are in an interested negotiation. She's offering to do his massive load of laundry and their house, for a price. How much would Jake have to pay you to bring his filthy mountain of Tool shirts into your home?

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In today's bonus pod Ally finally takes a dump and Johnny perfects his impressions

If you're an OG Klein Ally Show listener you got the throwback of a lifetime today. We talked about how there are no good 'school's out' songs and Ally took the opportunity to play her stupid 'Summer Vibez' song which is definitely a rip off of Sublime's Summertime. What we didn't expect was for Klein to play his school's out song from over 4 years ago, a song called Suck My Ass. If you remember it, brownie points from us. We brought back the Dank Tank today and heard some incredible new high-deas from inexperienced weed entrepreneurs. One of our favorites was a guy pitching multiple food trucks that pair with one another. For example a grilled cheese truck would pull up, you'd get a grilled cheese, then a tomato bisque truck would pull up behind it. It just may be dumb enough to work! Other front runners included rear car horns, a bong cleaning service, and a microwave mute button. We spun the wheel again for our Funner Summer Challenge where Johnny was assigned the tough task of having sex on the beach. Plus a wild story about a kid posing with his middle finger in an elementary school yearbook, Klein's family has lice (AGAIN) and Ally's failed couples counseling session.

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Ever done something stupid to get back at an ex? We heard some wild stories today, including one about a man who 'came' all over his ex's clothes and a woman who sold all her ex's belongings to their next door neighbor. Ellen Degeneres joined us on the show today (sort of) to host a Lez-off between Klein and Ally. Klein claims he's a better lesbian than Ally because of all the lesbian 'content' he's consumed over the years (aka porn.) A five-question showdown determined a clear winner. We heard perhaps the funniest old person voice during Old People Secrets today. A woman who attributes her long life to sugar and the Irish Times. Jake has some drama with his 'succulent girlfriend.' She's not happy about the Funner Summer Challenge where he was given the task of having a one night stand with a stranger. Is there trouble in not-paradise?

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It's Pride Month, and we decided to celebrate with a round of Don't Be a Dick: Gays! Ally, the resident gay of the show, kicked it off by nominating lesbians who have to pair everything with a cause. Did you see that new show? It's directed by a queer autistic BIPOC woman in a wheelchair! As a disclaimer, we fully love and support the LGBT community & can also still find ways to complain about anything and anyone. Klein nominated gay guys who are ridiculously good looking! We also talked about the biggest lies we told as a child, including Ally telling her classmates Magic Johnson was her uncle and Klein telling girls was a professional skater and Fred Savage's stunt double. We also heard from a woman who lied about being from Africa when she really grew up in Orange County. We continued our Funner Summer challenge and Omar got his new assignment: this summer he must have sex three times in 24 hours. He and his wife are currently in a huge fight, so good luck with that! We also did a new round of Netflix/Notflix to talk about all the new trash coming to your streaming services in the month of June. Is the new show Killer Set where Death Row Inmates do stand-up a real show or a fake one?

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We try to slog through today's show while Ally goes hard for a B-team embryo implant, Jake makes a confession in the drive-thru, Mr. Fall in the Hall takes your stories about injuring yourself while walking, we open the box of shame and we try to spell as fast as you latest spelling bee champion from Rancho Cuccamaungo!

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Jake wasn't in today, which marks the first sick day he's ever taken in his history on the show. He insists it's a 'weak cold' but he's been getting cold sweats for days. Did he catch Ebola? We think he really needs to see a doctor, which prompted conversations about who gets his weird collectibles and his precious little dog. Vanessa finally put on the shock collar to review a new buzzy food no kid can resist: ice cream! She tried the viral Henry's Secret Ice Cream while getting shocked in a brand new, curse-filled High Voltage Food Review. Klein is attempting to change a bad habit and it's not going well. He's notorious for ending phone calls without saying goodbye, and his new couples counselor would like him to work towards a more loving way to end a conversation. We learned quickly that we all do a pretty great impression of Klein ending our phone calls. We also did Gen Wars, spun the wheel to assign another Funner Summer Challenge, and Ally talks about her next embryo transfer happening tomorrow. Wish her some good Juju! She showed off her latest fertility baile and it was....something to see.

In today's bonus pod Ally tries to decide what embryo to go with and we try to come to the conclusion of if Buc-ees is a store or a gas station

Nate Bargatze joined us today to talk about his new movie The Breadwinner & revealed new details about his Theme Park development Nateland in Nashville. He talked about roller-coaster shopping, his first red carpet premiere, and what the GOAT appetizer is at a chain restaurant. Count how many times he says 'uh' and you could win a prize! We kicked off our Funner Summer Challenge today, forcing each other to have an epic summer by doing things like throw a keg party, see 10+ shows, have sex on the beach, and pull an all nighter. The first wheel spin forced Ally to try a new drug, which is going to be difficult if she gets pregnant soon... We also talked to the guy who created the controversial Ozzy Osbourne AI Hologram. He swears it's classy, state-of-the-art, and not a threat to Ozzy's legacy. The call ended badly when Ally attempted to do her terrible Ozzy Osbourne impression. Petty Claims Court was VERY interactive today as a man accused his girlfriend of asking him to bring her things as soon as he sits down to relax. Listeners quickly branded Karla a "Latina T3000 Terminator" and a "Toxica Torta" and things only progressed from there.

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Ally had a 'hot girl' weekend in Vegas, complete with outfit changes, plunging necklines, bottle service, and an 'ass-only' swimsuit photoshoot. She learned a lot about what it takes to be a 'real' woman while experiencing John Summit at LIV + No Doubt at the Sphere. If you wanna see her She's All That transformation, go to our IG @kleinallyshow. Meanwhile, Klein was on a soccer field rooting against his own kid after her team got into a post-season tournament. Is he a bad parent for rooting against his daughter's ambitions? Graduation speeches are being shared all over social media right now, but could robots do it better? We find out with a round of Man Vs Machine: Graduation. Note: Quoting Gandolf in your speech does not qualify as inspirational. We also learned Jake has never purchased an avocado, everyone's mom wants to f*ck Tom Selleck, and Johnny thinks Neil Armstrong rode Sputnik to get to the moon. In the words of Postmaster Johnny: Take that, Russians!

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We started the day with a giant Tomahawk steak and ended it with a gas station giveaway and a certified Banger Bus. What better way to kick off a long weekend!? Klein cooked a Tomahawk steak for two hours last night just to bring it to Ally to help increase her red meat consumption for fertility success. If you want to see a lesbian handle 5lbs of rare meat, check out the YouTube livestream. While you're there, check out DJ Omar Khan in the flesh! He came in the studio and strapped in to a lie detector for his very first LIE DAY FRIDAY. It resulted in a health scare, some eye opening questions about selling drugs, and a plan for Omar and lie detector guy John Grogan to do Molly together after the show. We got an incredible unexpected delivery on the show today. The Print Gurus, who are big fans and incredible merch makers, delivered the first ever Klein Ally Show plushie. And not just any plushie, it was a Vanessa themed Chicken Lady plushie! This is yet another thing you have to watch YouTube to see. It even makes noise! We closed out this holiday week by giving away free gas to anyone listening to our show while filling up at a random gas station in LA. If you see Postmaster Johnny at the pump, hit him up!

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Another potential big bet is happening, if Ally agrees. Ally was rejected from a golf shop because, according to them, she's not good enough at golf to warrant getting a custom club. It led to a proposition from Klein: Practice your golf game all summer. If by the end of the summer you can crack 100 on a course of your choice, I will pay you any amount of money. Ally has yet to accept. Should she? Adam Carolla stopped by the KROQ studios this morning to reminisce on the good old days with Jimmy Kimmel & Dr. Drew, and to discuss the new KROQ documentary screening taking place later this summer. We also had the closest game of Gen Wars to date, Klein had a confrontation with his wife on the air about his illicit relationship with GROK, and the return of Mashtags where we asked listeners to make KROQ Cheap!

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In today's bonus pod there's a bunch of bird talk apparently

We brought back the legendary “Gummy Roulette” this time featuring the infamous Trader Joe's Sweet & Sour Gummies that supposedly contain enough fiber to completely destroy your digestive system. Klein bravely ate an entire bag, and by the 10 o’clock hour the show took a very unfortunate turn for his stomach. Safe to say the gummies may have lived up to their reputation. Listeners also called in with unbelievable smuggling stories, including one woman who admitted she once helped her boyfriend sneak illegal parrots, monkeys, and spiders across the border. We also heard your 'animal encounter' stories, which led to the shocking on-air discovery that Ally did not realize a wolverine is a real animal and not just a comic-book character. The show wrapped up with another edition of “Petty Claims Court,” where a wife put her husband on trial for consistently sending their kid to school dressed in mismatched clothes and ratty ass hair.

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Today was a revolving door of guests, and there was something for everybody. For Smashing Pumpkins fans, Billy Corgan joined the show to reveal the details of their newly announced Rats In A Cage tour celebrating the 30th anniversary of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. He weighed in on whether or not the Pumpkins would ever do a residency at the Sphere in Vegas & whether or not they'd win in a wrestling match against the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ally's hot cousin also joined the show to go through all the sexy outfits she has planned for their upcoming weekend in Vegas. 'Coco' is a hairstylist who met her equally hot husband in Vegas and already got invited to the biggest party of the weekend: A pool party with John Summit. When Ally asked about which 'full butted swimsuit' she should wear we knew who got the good genes in the family. Ben Gleib, comedian and host of the Idiot Test stopped by the studio to talk about his new ground-breaking Late Night Show "Good Night with Ben Gleib" premiering on YouTube May 28th. He joined us for a round of Am I An Idiot? where we heard stories of lighting eyebrows on fire and a woman who got in a fight with her own reflection in the mirror.

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Klein is down one TV after a mishap with a 7-year-old this weekend. Should he take action and demand this kid's parents buy him a new one? Johnny & Ally's wife were in Vegas this weekend to see No Doubt at the Sphere, which resulted in a big El Cheapo fail for Ally. She booked Katie's hotel room on a shady third party website which resulted in Ally going full Karen on a popular Vegas hotel. We heard about your lamest Superpowers today to give away tickets to the new Superman experience at Warner Bros. It included a man with an uncanny ability to wake up without an alarm and a woman who can draw a perfectly straight line with no ruler. Powers! We also heard your most/least favorite segments on the show. It seems the most polarizing are Old People Secrets, Johnny Doesn't Know, and Lie Day Friday. What are the segments you hate or love?

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We brought back Beat Your Boss today to give away tickets to Smashing Pumpkins' In Memoriam: Zero show. We found out quickly that a lot of dumb people are gainfully employed without even knowing what a hexagon is. A real working lawyer thought the tallest mountain in the world was 9 feet tall. You've gotta hear it for yourself. Ally's friend 'cheated' or did she? She shares the details of her friend's wild night out and whether or not her actions are considered cheating. And if it is, should Ally tell the boyfriend? In other news, Jake's dry spell ended! He decided to share the graphic details which we really didn't need, but if you want to curb your appetite please listen along with a puke bucket. Gen Wars proved to be a real train wreck with Boomers, Gen X, Gen Z and Millennials battling it out for bragging rights, plus a more serious conversation about Klein's on-air vasectomy.

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Vanessa has been given the opportunity to be on a show with James Corden and she's leaning towards 'no.' How can she turn this down?! Hear all the details about the new World Cup After Show with James Cordon and (possibly) Vanessa! After another pregnancy scare, Klein's decided: He's getting a vasectomy. It was quickly brought up that Lightning, longtime producer of Kevin & Bean, did his vasectomy live on-air. Obviously to pay tribute to their legacy, Klein should do the same. It ended with a surprise call from Lightning himself! We talked to the director of the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) about the files released by the Pentagon earlier this week. He shared new conspiracies involving missing and dead scientists, and new reports of flashing lights during the Artemis II mission to the moon. We also talked about the mysterious Ally orb and anal probes, because why not? Plus a hilarious crop of Funeral Fail calls, which included people being buried in the wrong plot, being propositioned for sex and cocaine, and a 'death fart' from a deceased grandma.

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In today's shovertime we go into depth about how a baby is made

Linda Perry joined us today, famous for her smash hit What's Up with 4 Non Blondes and countless other hits for artists like Gwen Stefani (What You Waiting For?), P!nk (Get The Party Started), Christina Aguilera (Beautiful) & many more. She talked about how she found out about What's Up's massive internet comeback, the He-Man Meme, a new 4 Non Blondes album 30 years later, and she finally answers the burning question everyone's wanted to know: Is there a tiny talented rat under her hat writing all her songs? The interview ends with a big unexpected reveal! Thinking of a baby name? Klein has an uncanny ability to predict the bad nicknames, so we took calls from pregnant people as they shared the names they're considering & Klein proceeded to crush their dreams. But let's be honest, you shouldn't be naming your kid Lemon anyway. We also learned about Pole Bears during Johnny Doesn't Know Funerals, talked about the best day of the week to break up with someone & Klein cooked a fresh steak for Ally as she builds up her iron for the next embryo transfer.

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Vanessa is being porch pirated. She's had her Tiktok Shop 'girl buys' stolen two days in a row from her gated apartment complex. Can we solve the crime and recover her hair gummies? Or should we put together a baitbox to end all baitboxes? We did another Menu Redo today where a restaurant pledged to add one of our original ideas to their menu. The owner of Burger 3000 heard our ideas today which included an anti-gravity burger, a Breakfast-for-Dinner Burger, and Burger Bibs so you never spill your burger on your shirt again. Which one did he pick? We heard a new Old People Secret, this time from a woman named Kathleen who's kids are definitely not conning her into signing an amended will. Plus Clickbait, Johnny Doesn't Know perpendicular lines & more!

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It's National Nurses Week, so we tried to see if humans make better nurses than robots in a themed round of Man vs. Machine. Unfortunately things got sexist pretty quick and Ally got heated. To all the sexy nurses out there, thank you for your service. A new subway line is opening in Los Angeles and Jake took to the streets to see who was excited about it or even knew it existed. Turns out nobody in LA wants to "Ride the D" even if they were paid to do so. We did another Most/Least on the Show, this time focusing on who we believe to be the luckiest & unluckiest. Not surprisingly, Johnny was at the top of all our lists and Ally was at the bottom. Pets are awesome, but they can be dicks. We did a round of Don't Be A Dick: Pets! And discovered there's a lot to love (and hate) about our animals, including the '6am zoomies' and a dog that almost kills her owners on a daily basis by turning on the stove.

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We celebrated Mother's Day by playing unheard voicemails from Klein's mom, who is constantly butt dialing him without realizing it. Shoutout to all moms who still can't figure out phones! We also heard MOMfessions, confessions from moms about times they were bad parents. Moms called in with times they ran over their kids' body parts, used their kids to dispose of dead animals, and one mom who accidentally left her kid at a Mcdonald's playplace. Comedian Bruce Bruce joined us in-studio to discuss his upcoming show in LA, his name coming up in multiple iconic rap songs, and he even came up with some questions on Black culture for a special themed Johnny Doesn't Know. Ally revealed a lot on the show this week, but none was as embarassing as her Box of Shame story about celebrating a dog's death (she can explain...) Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!!

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Today's the day. Ally had a shot of progesterone and a shot of tequila in front of her. If pregnant, she reaches for the progesterone. If not, the tequila. Thanks again to everyone supporting the journey, and our hearts go out to everyone who's been through the IVF process. Things got awkward today as we brought back Mother Knows Best leading up to Mother's Day. A guy named Fred played against his mom as she tried to guess how many women he's slept with, what his fetish is and whether or not he was ever arrested. Let's just say secrets were revealed and their relationship will never be the same. Comedian Jared Fried joined us in-studio to tell you why you're still single. After being single for decades, Jared has become somewhat of a dating expert, to the point where he's releasing his first book on dating which is coming out in June. He took live calls from single people and identified their red flags in 10 seconds or less.

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In today's bonus pod Vanessa opens up her presents!!!

There were plenty of tears on today's show. Ally got emotional as she prepares to get her pregnancy news later today, and Klein's kid cried hysterically after seeing his newly shaved head. It was an emotional roller coaster and no matter what happens in our personal lives we will never stop oversharing because we have an incurable case of TMI. We did an AMA with 'The Germ Guy' where we asked all our burning questions about the grossest things we've ever done. We asked about Jake's laundry etiquette, Ally sharing toothbrushes with her wife, and pretty much just more examples from Ally and Jake. At the end, Jake earned himself a new title. What is the most popular guitar riff at Guitar Center? We went through the official list and Johnny (a former Guitar Center employee) confirmed (and played!) all of them, giving birth to a new embarrassing assignment for Ally. Petty Claims Court involved a couple fighting over clean silverware, but it quickly shifted when everyone realized how smoking hot Cindy was. It took an awkward turn quickly & definitely swayed the decision making. Poor Caesar!

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This show had everything: live head-shaving, shot roulette, an in-studio bartender, and an old people expert. Klein left with a new haircut and we left with bellies full of tequila. Salut! Fresh off the success of 'gummy roulette' on 420 we decided to do 'shot roulette' every hour on the show. Options included shots of raw egg, Tylenol PM, tequila, ranch dressing and sriracha just to name a few. Klein very much regretted the first shot he landed on and paid for it all show long. The trend of Klein being miserable continued when Blind Charlie called in while on his way to our Cinco De Mayo event offering to shave Klein's head. It just so happened that Jake brought his clippers and the rest is history (and by the rest we mean his hair). If you need a visual check out today's YouTube livestream. At the end of the show Klein talked to his wife on the phone and it was SUUUPER uncomfortable. She is NOT happy about his hair and revealed a fascinating detail we knew nothing about.

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Happy Birthday Vanessa! She celebrated by going out for drunk Karaoke Saturday night which resulted in throwing up behind a tree, blacking out, and getting kicked out of the bar for being too inebriated. Hear the story and also clips of her singing Karaoke throughout today's show. Klein is back from an obligatory family trip to the East Coast, and the pilot on his flight back exhibited some very odd behavior before and during the flight. Also, in memory of Spirit Airlines going away we did a round of Don't Be A Dick: Passengers! Lots of great nominees poured in, including the person who keeps their window shade up on that 7am flight home from Vegas. We kicked off Mother's Day week by hearing the worst advice your mom has ever given you & we heard some great stories, including a mom giving her kid valium before her driving test and a mom who told her own kid to drop out of high school. If you're in LA, stop by our Viva Klein Ally Show Cinco De Mayo event tomorrow at Descanso in Mid-Wilshire! Festivities begin at 11am, we'll have live music from Panic Hispanic, and the first 106 people get limited edition merch, a free taco, and maybe even MORE thanks to Blind Charlie.

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It's Friday and you know what that means...Klein took the day off! For real he has to go to his Niece's Bat Mitzvah in New York and is probably having a lot less fun than we are, but still, let's give him shit about it! Ally empowered Vanessa by letting her administer her IVF shot today, though she was shaking with anxiety the whole time and definitely watched the wrong YouTube video on how to do it. Listen to find out her weird 'three finger butt crack rule.' Listen to find out if Ally dies! We also got a new complaint from a 'former' listener who had opinions about a recent toilet-baby joke and Klein's recreation of a Disabled placard. Ally is also in trouble with her wife over something she said on yesterday's show that she shouldn't have, which landed her in the 'Malibu Moms' Facebook group. We also learned Johnny wants to stick things inside a chicken during Johnny Doesn't Know and that Ally's wife is completely delusional when she presented a new list of demands during El Cheapo.

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We tried to come up with a PSA for Rattlesnakes since everyone's asses are getting bit up this season. As usual Vanessa came up with the best one and is the inspiration behind this podcast title. Ally shared a huge sex scandal unfolding at her kid's new school, including a call from a parent at that school who was just learning for the first time that the principal was stepping down after having an affair with a student's dad. We also did our first edition of Gen Wars with ALL show regulars! If you want to know what it's like to have Second Hand Cindy, a Budlight Bro & Blind Charlie battle it out in a game of trivia? Listen to find out! Since people are getting robbed all over LA we're making our first ever limited edition Klein.Ally.Show DON'T ROB ME lawn signs. Claim one now and stuff it in your yard so the thieves steal your neighbor's TV instead of yours.

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In today's bonus pod we go over getting pregnant, when Johnny will get married and band merch

Ally got her daily jab from a Filipino Nurse! Or at least she plays one on TV. "Princess" from The Pitt joined us in-studio to administer her first ever on-air injection to prove that even a fake nurse knows more about the medical field than we do. Do you eat in the grocery store while you shop? Apparently there are etiquette rules about what you can bust open and eat, and we've violated all of them. We also broke down a new complaint letter accusing us of deliberately destroying public property, handled a complaint call from a listener who wants us to stop saying 'idiot,' and heard A-list celebrities read negative reviews of our shows. All three were confidence builders! Plus a heated round of Petty Claims Court about leaving empty cans all over the counter, and a new game where people tried to guess Seth Rogan's movies based on clips of his laughter.

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Ally shared a major life moment as she underwent her IVF embryo transfer, including the oddly specific (and surprisingly difficult) challenge of stopping mid-pee after exactly five seconds, which she absolutely nailed. We hope it ends up in a successful pregnancy, or as her doctor said a 'grain of salt in a peanut butter sandwich' Also, the moment finally arrived: Klein unveiled his “best” mock-up of a disabled parking placard, and it looked less like an official document and more like a preschool art project. Things took a turn when listeners called in with their wildest “things that got stuck inside them” stories and they did not disappoint. We heard everything from questionable decisions to straight-up medical mysteries, including one story involving a BB gun bullet lodged in someone’s intestine. And if that wasn’t enough, we brought back a fan-favorite: Stonergories! Watching someone try to name a dessert starting with the letter “B” while very, very high? If you're in LA, please join us for our Cinco De Mayo event Viva Klein Ally Show! at Descanso in mid-Wilshire. Drinking & free tacos commence at 11am!

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It's embryo day for Ally! We also talk to Ms. Pat, we golf with the boss, Ally stops by an Erewon and Jake runs into his favorite porn star of all time

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You made it through another week, congrats! Eugene Mirman aka Gene Belcher from Bob's Burgers joined us in-studio where he took us through the horrific details of the fiery crash that almost claimed his life. Jake was uninvited to his fallen family member's funeral because his dog Kibby would be 'a distraction.' Should Jake be offended? The details sparked a lot of debate, including the questionable outfit choice he made at the last funeral he attended. We also got a few interesting propositions on today's show, including adding a KAS branded sandwich to the menu at Granny's Deli and having Blind Charlie join us in-studio to give Ally her next IVF shot.

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Welcome, Flukers! We got wind of a new radio station called JakeFM that plays only Tool and obscure rock bands, but Jake swears he's not the mastermind behind it. You listen and be the judge. Ally came in with a welted bruised ass and a lot more info on what we did wrong yesterday, but Klein made up for all of it by going full Filipino nurse & sticking Ally in the best way possible. We also did another Most/Least list where we determined who is the most talented person on the show, and we talked to the inventor of the Gender Reveal about how she regrets being a trendsetter.

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in today's bonus pod we go over what to get at Costco and Ally trying to get pregnant

We started with Ally making a fool of herself in front of Jack Antonoff yesterday during the new In N Out Burger Soundspace performance with Bleachers. Did she talk uncomfortably about luring children into a van with candy? Yes, yes she did. Did Jake the Nerd stumble on a gold mine? He inherited a bunch of old ass radio equipment and Omar thinks he can get upwards of 6 figures if he sells it to the right person. If he DOES make a profit, should he even be allowed to control the money? He's the least financially responsible person on the show.. Ally has to start her IVF shots this morning to gear up for her big embryo transfer on Monday. Jake and Klein will be administering the shots in her ass for the rest of the week, and today it was Jake's turn to do the stabbing. There was blood, there was screaming, there was ass slapping... We also had a very uncomfortable call with our boss after learning we are now the #1 morning show in all of LA. Surprising for sure, but we figured we'd capitalize on this fluke by giving Kevin Weatherly a small list of demands. He didn't take it well, but I think we're getting a new couch!

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in today's show Klein loses an argument with his kids over yogurt, Ally gets too high at the doctor's office, we try to squash some celebrity feuds, we do a round of clickbait and old people's secrets and find out how many people stuck their finger in Johnny's belly button at Coachella

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Welp, hope we don't get fired! We did what will probably be the first and last edition of Gummy Roulette! We brought in an array of gummies, both regular and special, and took turns dipping into the bowl at the start of the show. Forty-Five Minutes later we had our answer, which involved a wellness-check from our boss. There were some moments we regret and we're truly sorry if the show was off the rails today. We also heard all things Coachella from Ally, including her port-potty reviews, her quest to spend $50 or less on her wardrobe, and a review of the viral 'vomit' pizza. We also did a highly entertaining round of Dank Tank where we were pitched ideas like the 'Swig,' Spoon Hooks, and hot boxing tents.

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Jake had a friend in studio with him today that traveled on a 15 hour flight to visit him from Thailand. Not only did Jake refuse to pick him up from LAX, he still hasn't taken him to get the one meal he wanted while he was here (In N Out) because the lines were too long. Is he a douche or is it just us? A listener sent us a picture of a mural depicting a woman running a marathon that looks eerily similar to Ally. You gotta look on our IG, it's insane. Not only did we track down the location of the mural, we were able to chat with the mural maker himself and give him a new proposition. Today we chatted with the creator of Anna's Pizza who is currently in a feud with CPK over a BBQ pizza. We asked him all about it while eating said delicious pizza. Plus a new Box of Shame, a new Coachella challenge for Ally, and we learned about the wise old Praying Mantis in Johnny Doesn't Know

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Jake the Nerd's early radio days included jocking in Seattle under the moniker 'Baby J.' We heard some of the Baby J tapes today and they were more cringe than we could have ever imagined. Sick of dating apps? We talked to a woman solving the LA dating crisis by turning Dodger games into singles events. Jillian Pfeiffer from Drafted Events joined us to talk about the huge increase in demand for her business of renting out 'single sections' at Dodger games so you can watch your team score while trying to score yourself. Johnny did some undercover reporting at Trader Joe's to see if Klein was right about encountering the world's most 'unfriendly' Trader Joe's employee. Spoiler: nothing was accomplished because Johnny recorded with his phone inside a bag of trail mix. Ally was pressured into celebrating her cat's birthday yesterday and quickly realized shopping for a cat's birthday is just as hard as shopping for Hanukkah decorations. We also learned Klein doesn't know how to spell lettuce.

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In today's bonus pod we go over our nicknames and how much protein is too much

Klein and Ally had another public outing outside the show, this time for work-related reasons, which resulted in public humiliation both inside and outside of the building. Most of it was Ally's fault & has us rethinking our list of most awkward people on the show. Klein's kid has earned the new nickname 'Bruiser' after her swearing tirade on the air yesterday, but things have taken a turn since finding out her school principal was listening to the live show. How long before DPS shows up at Klein's door? Omar brought us highlights from a new Budlight Bros video, we learned Jake had the previous DJ name 'Baby Jessica,' and Jake tried to sell Ally's Beanie Babies at the Pawn Shop.

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Today was a classic example of why people call into the show begging us to 'do more better.' The show was riddled with f'bombs, mistakes & tantrums. We even had a failed guest appearance! Klein had to tell his kids this morning that they indeed had to go to school after the LAUSD reached a last minute agreement with teachers, principals and cafeteria workers. They didn't take it well, which resulted in an expletive laden rant that almost got us fined by the FCC. We also did an AMA with a nanny to the rich and powerful, but apparently it didn't make her rich enough for a stable phone connection. Just as we were learning about 'nanny meat' we had to cut things short, leaving us with more questions than answers. Klein detailed a negative run-in with a cashier at Trader Joe's, heard about your weird turn ons, and apparently shaving Klein's head is back on the table.

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This was supposed to be the morning Klein shaved his head, but instead we started the show with an emotional email Klein wrote us last night about why he won't do it. Is he the biggest pussy in the world? Or does he have a point? Perhaps even more absurd is how suddenly he's developed a conscience. We broke down weekend 1 of Coachella which included destroyed campgrounds, cameos from Billy Corgan & Susan Serandon, and Johnny telling us about the 'sea lion' challenge. Johnny also shared an interaction with an A-Lister that left us all fuming! Ally ran another 10k, but realized it might have been a pro-Maga race after reading between the lines. Regardless, the race produced a new incredibly embarrassing photo of Ally mid-run, which can be seen on our IG @kleinallyshow. The boss has already approved purchasing the photo to make a cardboard cutout. Plus a new Sound Space event with Bleachers, and IS IT PLANT? Klein brought in two real plants and one fake one to see if we could tell the difference with the naked eye.

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Jake was sad during the show today after getting terrible news about a family member passing away. RIP to Jake's second cousin Detective Randy Hoppert who was hardworking, funny and generous, all things Jake is not. But we quickly discovered that Blind Charlie coming in-studio to shave Klein's head would make Jake feel a whole lot better, so that's the plan for Monday.. We also checked in with our new Coachella Camp correspondent Anthony, who only got 3 hours of sleep last night because his neighbors were fighting over drugs. Yay! We heard from Johnny too, who sounded like he was on drugs even though he wasn't. We pitched him several Coachella ideas to him, all of which involve Johnny being inconvenienced or humiliated. In other news, Klein has been watering a fake plant for the last year and he swears this does not make him an idiot. He even promised to bring in said fake plant to prove to us that we'd 'never be able to tell the difference.' Plus a chat about odd relationship rules, Johnny Doesn't Know: desert edition, and perhaps the weirdest & dumbest thing we've ever done for Coachella tickets.

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We tried to give out free gas today to anyone listening to KROQ at a local gas station, and when Johnny hit the streets things got confusing fast. How can the simple act of Giving Tanks go south so quickly? Klein's wife thinks their dog Jerry needs therapy. (I know, she's crazy). And speaking of crazy, Ally's wife is a therapist and joined the show to give tips on how to conquer Jerry's fear of men, which included playing him a series of traumatic videos on a big screen. Plus the return of El Cheapo: Disneyland edition, a nail-biting round of Gen Wars, and we go through our list of Most/Least Awkward people on the show.

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In today's bonus pod we talk about drug addiction, quitting smoking and Sumo! Sumo, Sumo!

#Gonetoosoon. 323-TIP-BOLI is no longer the phone number for KROQ after the corporate executives finally paid the bill. But today we had the chance to premiere some fresh new jingles for the phone number which will live in our hearts forever. After learning mid-show that the old number was back, we closed it out with a tear-jerker folk song bidding farewell to a number that was too wild to live and too beautiful to die. Are you team Johnny or team Klein/Ally? Johnny is going to Coachella and told us earlier this week that he needs this Friday AND next Friday off to 'capture content' for the station. One follow-up email confirmed this is not true. Did Johnny try & lie his way into a three-day weekend? Or was it just another Simple Jack misunderstanding? We also heard your biggest red flags for six flags tickets, which included a woman who's date showed her a blog of his 'marathon pees,' and we discussed our new Employee of the Month honor at work & what we all plan to do with our shiny new $100 gift card!

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Someone didn't pay the KROQ phone bill. Sad and pathetic? Yes. Should a multi-million dollar radio company be able to pay a simple monthly phone bill? Absolutely. They did give us an alternate number to share on the air which didn't exactly roll off the tongue, and translated to the call letters 323-TIP-BOLI. Write it down, kids! We also learned that Vanessa might be entering a throuple without realizing it. Her best friend has a new boyfriend, and she's happily third-wheeling it on their dates while not having to pay a dime for drinks or food. Are they expecting sexual favors in return? We submitted a new crop of nominees for Lifetime Achievement Awards. Who gets your vote?? - Useful Neighbor (mechanic, handyman) - Clean Porta Potties - The person with a spare charger - Snack Size Ziplock bags We also got an unexpected call from comedian Brad Williams and we got to ask him about his weird hair transplant!

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Klein is sunburned, Ally went country, and Johnny went gay (we think). A lot happened over the break, but we started with Vanessa telling us about her 'adult' Easter Egg hunt, which upon further questioning was definitely meant for children. We kicked off a new streaming month with the return of Netflix/Notflix. Would you watch a dating show where you date one of your exes in disguise? We also heard about times you lied to the police to get out of a ticket, and apparently poop stories always work! Also Jake talked to drunk people about the origin of Easter, a follow-up on Omar's confrontation with Howie Mandell, and Johnny reveals that he spent his break taking in the '3 G's," which he was unable to name. So it's definitely guys, guys and more guys.

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We're back LIVE on Monday and we've missed you so much! ...not really. But that sounds nice, right?

Please enjoy some of our favorite moments of the last year. This will be copy and pasted for the rest of the week

Enjoy some of our favorite moments of the year

Today was JAM PACKED, and shit got real. Howie Mandel has been on Omar's enemy list for 15 years after he stole his table at the Blue Bayou restaurant at Disneyland. We surprised Omar when Howie called in to promote a Sketchers event, and Omar didn't hold back. He called him a penis with a goatee live & they went at it airport brawl-style. Johnny gave another one of his weird 'speeches' to high school kids about radio where he explained that radio is a 'marginalized' group. He also said 'like' and 'stuff' about 47,435 times. We listened to the audio and solidified Johnny's new Unc status with the keeeds. Famed food reviewer @jacksdiningroom stopped by the studio and was the first GUEST to ever do a high voltage food review. He got shocked while reviewing Don's Chilaquiles & proved he's a lot tougher than all of us. We also chatted with a dude named John from Ripley's Believe it or Not, who fessed up to purchasing the iconic Butt Birth Rhino from Ace Ventura. After confirming his intentions for this deeply coveted piece of Hollywood history, he confirmed he was willing to bring it by the studio before it enters their Hollywood location. What can pasty white do for you?

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In today's bonus time jake attempts to give you the best sleep you've ever received

New music AND a new tour? Rivers Cuomo's two hours of daily meditation certainly gives him the energy to get shit done. Weezer stopped by today to give us all the details on the 2026 North American tour, including an 'Initiation Week' leading up to the on-sale, including Weezer Trivia and a Pickleball tournament in LA. What's worse, walking in on someone using the bathroom or being walked in on? We discussed the pros and cons as Klein told us about walking in on a woman at a restaurant, and what he did afterward did not make things better. We brought back March Badness today & focused on the worst people in a restaurant. Nominees included the guy that makes jokes with the server, the person who brings their dog, the 'table-mover,' the person who sends everything back, and the person who 'helps' the waiter by stacking the plates and cups.

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In today's show we have Sublime in studio! Klein tries to win a raffle, Ally has the drug talk with her 4yo, we learn about a girl's fetish and Jake has a major dilemma about what to do this weekend

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Vanessa has sworn off sweets, which of course immediately resulted in several listeners sending donuts to the station. How long did she last before she broke down? It's rattlesnake season and multiple biting incidents have been reported, including one death. So we decided it was time for an AMA with a rattlesnake expert. Listen to learn about snake myths, what time of day you're most likely to see them, and how snake sex works! We also heard from the cryptkeeper herself during a new Old People Secrets, discovered we're eating cereal all wrong during Clickbait, and heard from listeners who met their heroes & whether or not they regretted it (apparently everyone's met Wee Man & Gwen Stefani).

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Klein got pulled over by CHP with no license, registration, or proof of insurance. Did it end better than Ally's cop saga from earlier this month? Spoiler, he was almost left stranded on the side of the freeway with no car and three kids decked out in softball gear. Later in the show, Jake the Nerd completely loses it after the show turns down a Maynard James Keenan interview. Are you team Jake? Hear his argument and how it all unfolded. We also listened to the newly released Justin Timberlake DWI footage, debated who's the most/least angry person on the show, Ally shares an awkward massage story, and March Badness returns with a bracket for the absolute worst robots.

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RIP Chuck Norris, but we all know he didn't die, he just went to Heaven to kick Ceasar Chavez' ass. All show long we paid tribute with Vanessa reading Chuck Norris 'facts' and reviewing some of his most iconic moments in television. Like the time he told Haley Joel Osment he had AIDS. Who's the worst type of co-worker? You pitched some good nominees in today's round of March Badness, including the person who kisses the ass of the supervisor in every meeting. We spent more than a minute with Evan Lovett of 'LA in A Minute' when he stopped by to defend LA stereotypes, like traffic, health & wellness warriors, and bad sports fans. Plus another awkward Box of Shame (hint: it's another weird sex thing from Ally)

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Sleep well? We didn't either. That's why we're a morning show, not morning people. We heard a ton of hilarious reasons why people didn't sleep last night, including dog puke, catalytic converter theft, a foot cramp, and midnight sex. HELP NEEDED: A longtime slogger named Jessica is asking for your help. She signed up for the OC Half Marathon, but now feels inspired to switch to the FULL marathon. She's looking for someone to swap with (OC Marathon sign ups are full), and she's willing to pay the difference in price. The transfer deadline is Monday. If you can help, DM us on IG @kleinallyshow, call the Goatline (844-956-GOAT) or email Vanessa@kroq.com. We did an AMA with billionaire Michael Rubin where she shared what it's like to be among the uber-wealthy. Does he pick up change if he sees it on the ground? When's the last time he used a coupon? We asked all these burning questions, including asking him to buy us the butt-birth rhino from Ace Ventura. He didn't say no!

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In today's bonus pod we talk about therapy and Vanessa's love life

Recently fired KTLA reporter Ellina Abovian joined us in-studio today to tell the story of how she was fired without notice on her 40th birthday after 11 years on the air. She's talented, smart, she's a hardworking single mom and speaks four languages. She also happens to be very attractive, which means we made complete fools of ourselves. You can listen, but we recommend you WATCH it on YouTube. We continued our March Madness brackets by nominated worst people at the pool, in honor of this week's heat wave. Top contenders included snot rocket guy, kids in the hot tub, the PDA couple, and the person who pees in the pool (aka Ally). Jake did another round of Pit Stop interviews, which led to a new idea: Swamp Ass or Pass. Would you like Jake to go around LA sniffing butts instead of pitts? Thought so! Ally also tried to give 'the talk' to her four year old son in response to Klein's talk with his daughter. As expected, it didn't go well.

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Some of us are drunk! But who is and who isn't? Find out as you listen along to Whiskey Roulette! Vanessa played bartender all show long, giving us mystery cups full of other NA Whiskey or full Irish Whiskey. Long story short, many of us were sloshed by the end of the show and the rest of us were drunk by placebo. Spoiler alert: Non-alcoholic whiskey is gross We also did a drinking themed Man Vs Machine with an Irish AI robot, which sounded more British than anything else. We also listened to Jake's set from Friday night complete with all cricket interruptions and it was just as uncomfortable as you can imagine. Who's the gayest on the show? We presented our lists of who we believe is the most/least gay on the show and Omar and Klein were at the top of all our lists.

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It was a jam-packed Monday! Comedian Greg Fitzimmons joined us in-studio to review Johnny's first ever stand up comedy appearance, and his review was brutal. Big thanks to everyone who came out to Good Nite on Friday night to see Jake & Johnny take the stage. Today we kicked off our annual March Badness bracket, starting with the worst types of drunk people. Jake somehow won the bracket! We chatted with Brandon Alinger from the PropStore about the many Hollywood props hitting the auction block next week, including the butt-birth rhino from Ace Ventura 2, the sweater from the Big Lebowski, and the alligator head from Happy Gilmore. We also debuted a new Death Cab for Cutie song and even heard from Ben Gibbard himself during his on-air chat with Megan Holiday!

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Another Friday the 13th and another day of not-so-gentle ribbing, this time from All Elite wrestling star MJF (Maxwell Jacob Friedman). He stopped by the studio while gearing up to defend his AEW World Championship title. He mercilessly roasted Klein's nose, Ally's hygiene, Jake's virginity, Vanessa's voice and Johnny's everything. We also brought back 5-10-20, challenging listeners to place 3 KROQ songs in order: One from 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and 20 years ago. We also heard Johnny's final ideas before his big 5 minute set tonight at the Good Night in NoHo tonight at 7pm. Be there!

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In today's bonus pod Johnny goes over some jokes for the show tomorrow and we've all had too much coffeeeeeeeeee

Klein won't give it a rest. He's on a mission to make Breakfast for Dinner on Thursdays (BFDursday) a thing, and even his own kids think it's a terrible idea. It's official. We've got a problem. A listener bought us an espresso machine and another one brought us a ton of Philz coffee. All we needed was a bean grinder and we were in business. We are all now wired on coffee for 90% of the show and it's going off the rails quick. Johnny had a visible hand tremor while sharing some of the joke's he's workshopping for Jake's comedy show, which made for a spot on Michael J Fox impression. Plus, Jake went back to Krispy Kreme to get a free '311 day' donut, Klein accuses Ally of doing something gross at a Prop Store event at a fancy hotel.

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Here's a podcast as fresh as a baby's first poop! Today was full of important updates, including Ally's results on her IVF embryos and a scandal with Johnny involving our T Test results. If you've been lied to by Johnny call 844-956-GOAT now to receive ample compensation. To celebrate 311 Day we revisited the day Nick Hexum came in and gave us a steamy acoustic performance of Amber. We also had a fascinating chat with Blind Charlie who called to let us know that he has to complete an obstacle course to prove he's blind to renew his benefits. How is this not being livestreamed?? Ally brought a new band to the table for a new round of My Band's Better Than Jake's Band. Which band do you like better, Som or Windser?

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What does a woman really mean when she says 'I'm Fine?' These and other sexist questions were asked to robots during a round of Man Vs Machine. We also made Johnny read some stand-up comedy material we wrote for him and let's just say he's probably going to get canceled. Vanessa tried (and failed) to stop a crime from being committed on her way to work today by saying 'what's up' to someone who was breaking into a car. Upon further review we discovered 'what's up' has been said by most of us when confronting a person mid-crime. Who knew? We also kicked off a new segment called Jake's Liquor Stories where he walks into liquor stores and asks people for their best story. Not only did we get a strange new intro for the segment from Johnny, we got an incredible story from a man who was once the center of a police standoff in Burbank.

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Did Vanessa die on the slopes? Did she snort all the fresh powder? We relive the thrills of Breckenridge Colorado by going through the highlights & lowlights of her ski debut. Your DM's tipped us off to the fact that Klein's jacket made an appearance on SNL! Just weeks after Klein gave his jacket to Jamie from the Gorillaz, he was seen wearing it onstage at the end of their first SNL musical guest appearance. In other news Ally turned into a pill-head over the weekend, we test Johnny's comedy knowledge as he gears up for his 5-minute set at Jake's comedy show on Friday, and Klein's kids hate him yet again after showing them an R-rated dinosaur documentary.

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The show started off with Ally getting pulled over on the way to work. Can she get out of her speeding ticket? Does she deserve to? Hear the full story & see if she should have done something different. We also rated who we believe to be the biggest pussy on the show. Who gets your vote? We also had another thrilling round of Gen Wars, a lively edition of Dank Tank including a pitch for “naturally cold water” and tips on how to be a successful man from Vanessa.

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Clearly by the title you can see how classy we are. Klein had a very awkward moment in an elevator. Surprising? No. Entertaining? Yes. How many indoor plants is too many? In this week's Petty Claims Court a couple is arguing over the amount of plants taking up space in their small condo. Will Monica and Tim break up their 13 year relationship over a few hundred succulents? And what IS a succulent anyway? The Big Arch taste test happened live on-air and after spinning the wheel, Johnny had to wear the shock collar while taking the first bite. During the process, we confirmed that Johnny is in fact a girl. Or rather, a whimsical woman!! Regardless, the burger deserved a bigger bite than the CEO took last week, and we did it justice today.

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We have the best Old People Secrets since Sweet Dibbets. Can you tell what Granny Victory is saying? Listen, play along and place your bets! Speaking of grandmas, we nominated people for the first time during Lifetime Achievement Awards. Here are the nominees. Who gets your vote? -Bored Grandma (aka free childcare) -Guy who gives you his parking spot -Person who gives you back your lighter -Mom who brings the good post-game snacks Plus Klein gets into a lover's quarrel with Grok, we hear your worst workplace arguments, learn about the most annoying driving habits in Clickbait, and Klein's trying to make BFDursday a thing (we don't know what it is either).

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It's the first heat wave of 2026, which means Jake took to the streets for his first round of Pit Stops, smelling people's armpits with his new Meta Glasses. He smelled the pits of a giant man who just got off a boat and an exotic dancer named "La." We complained about good-gooders in Don't Be A Dick: Good Samaritans, shining a spotlight on people who hold the door open when you're really far away and people who over-post their good deeds. Vanessa told us a story about being upsold at a nail salon, Ally shared her concerns about her own parenting when her kid showed up with a girl's helmet to his first t-ball game, and Johnny got an 'impossible' math question during Johnny Doesn't Know. Shoutout Brian! Also, share your terrifying ski stories with Vanessa. We're gearing up for our trip to Colorado later this week and she plans to rawdog her first ski experience with zero training!

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Big update! What happened to the dog Klein found wandering the streets near the studio yesterday? The job of finding the owner went to Ally after Jake, Johnny, Klein and Vanessa turned down the responsibility. You gotta listen to the full story, including a live call from the dog's owner! Michael from Evolve Anti-Aging came back to read the results of yesterday's Testosterone test, and you will not believe how it panned out. We have a new most masculine person on the show, and it's definitely not the person you'd expect. This person won their T amount in dollar form, and the person with the LOWEST t on the show won a new nickname! #joannie We also FINALLY got a payoff for Bathroom Interviews, a bit Kevin Ryder pitched to Klein two weeks ago. We listen to the audio with Ryder on the line and he pitches yet another bit to reboot next.

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It was an exciting start to the morning when Klein came across a dog running across the street in a residential neighborhood. Klein stopped traffic, heroically forced the dog into his car and brought it to the studio. We now have a brown cocker spaniel that is terrified of all of us. Is this your dog? See pics and video @kleinallyshow on IG and YouTube. She took a shit in our parking garage. We also all got jabbed today by the guys at Evolve Anti-Aging, a place that specialized is Testosterone replacement therapy. We all got our blood drawn live on the air and the person with the highest T count will win the dollar equivalent of their level. 500ng = $500!! The owner joins us in-studio tomorrow to go over the results. Plus one of the most exciting Generation Wars of 2026, Second Hand Cindy receives an award, and Jake the Nerd is single-handedly saving Krispy Kreme. Buy up the stock while you can!!!

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In this week's bonus pod we talk about anxiety, our upcoming trip and doing too much

Can honesty ruin a friendship? Klein's friend got a hair transplant and it looks like shit. If he says something, does that make him a bad friend? We talked to Coyote Expert Dana Stangel about the increasing number of coyote encounters in California, including toddlers being 'attacked' in their driveways. She turned out to be quite the coyote defender, which led to a lot of hate from listeners and a very strange call from one-arm Gary. Also on today's show: Klein gets in a fight with the owner of a Frame Store, Jake acquires yet another donut for 'pajama day,' we determine the most/least horniest person on the show, and we discuss the difference between Mrs. and Ms. during Johnny Doesn't Know.

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Happy birthday Johnny! He's officially 28, but according to him he's still 27 because of some weird theory about the sun. All morning we heard from famous geniuses giving well wishes to the birthday boy, including Steven Hawking and Albert Einstein. We also celebrated by forcing Johnny to spin the Wheel of Punishments, and let's just say his new car will likely be undriveable afterward. We also heard your emergency landing stories, an Old People Secrets from 107 year old woman who definitely doesn't want to be alive anymore, and we tested robots in Man Vs Machine: Drug edition! This led to new tips like using the vahine to hide drugs and mustard sandwich. You can almost taste the meat!

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We got your messages shaming Vanessa for her Box of Shame story on Friday, so let's be clear: Vanessa did not kill a dog & we love her. If you continue sending death threats, feel bad. Especially because you are sending them to a child. In other news, Ally somehow lost her phone in a shopping cart at Target and Klein walked into an adult store and confidently purchased the viral “Rose,” which backfired. Jake made his third attempt at getting a free donut at Krispy Kreme… and succeeded! Happy Super Saturday to all who celebrate. Postmaster Johnny failed his forced resolutions by not drinking every day like he was supposed to, so now we need listener punishment ideas. We get 'em to us! We spin the wheel tomorrow (his birthday). Plus, we break down the TikTok relationship “rules” everyone swears by: the 7-7-7 method, the 2-2-2 method, and the 5:1 magic ratio. Will any of them save your relationship?

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Sweet dibbets! The Box of Shame was a doozy today. We learned Vanessa returned a puppy after she had homicidal thoughts about it. She's not a bad person or anything, she just wanted to kill a puppy. Jack Antonoff stopped by to talk about new Bleachers music and accidentally announced a tour! This time Klein did not give away his jacket, but Jack did grill him on his apathy toward music and reviewed his Medium Ass song. Long story short, they’re making an album together now. We also closed out l Olympic week with the Homo-lympics where people called in with their gay tendencies, including a man who exclusively buys lip gloss at Ulta. We also heard probably the most depressing edition of Jake's journal along with his day2 attempt at a free donut from Krispy Kreme.

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Gorillaz stopped by the KROQ studio today to talk about their new album The Mountain. Not only did we learn frontman Damon has no cellphone, the interview ended with Jamie complimenting Klein on his jacket, which quickly led to Jamie wearing and promptly leaving with Klein's jacket, just as it started pouring rain. See the video on IG @kleinallyshow! We also heard about times you came across unexpected money in the Dough-lympics, and Klein shared another fail with his kids having to do with the tooth fairy. (if you thought klein had bad handwriting, you gotta see his cursive) Jake also began a social experiment to see how many days in a row he can get a free donut at Krispy Kreme. If you think it was easy, you are correct!

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In this bonus pod we go over the pains of childbirth and taking psychedelics in public

Our boss wants us to switch out our podcast cover, and we need your help! If you're an artist, bored stoner, or just an idiot with ChatGPT, give us your best Klein.Ally.Show cover art and we just might slap it on our podcast! DM your designs to us on IG @kleinallyshow. The winner won't walk away empty handed! In other news, Klein sang to his wife before bed last to strengthen their relationship and it didn't go well. Ally tried and failed to bring grapefruits for her coworkers (check out grapefruit cam on the YouTube Livestream). And we heard your greatest food accomplishments during the Ozempics, including a woman who ate Costco trash pizza and a man who was cut off at The Olive Garden.

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That's it, we're hiring a stripper for Vanessa. We did an AMA with Alejandro aka 'Kreme' or 'The Biggest Mexican,' where we learned about safe words, horny moms, sleeping with clients and even performing for someone's last day on earth. Vanessa definitely got horny and we're thinking he's the perfect thing for her upcoming birthday... The love theme continued when we heard from a phone sex operator during the Hoe-lympics, where we heard people's biggest sex accomplishments. We also heard a couple's secret to longevity in a romantic Old People Secrets! We also heard Ally attempt to order in Spanish at a local drive through (Ella tiene muchos gatos!), listened back to a Kevin & Bean highlight with the late Reverend Jesse Jackson, and someone on the show finally QUITS their forced resolution.

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For valentine's we thought it'd be nice to take a look back at our sad attempts of sexual pleasure

t's Friday the 13th, which means our show was exactly the same as every other day. But we did get an important life update from Ally: her and her wife are doing IVF! It led to a lot of dumb questions about the fertility process, and aside from the insults we're all very happy for her. In other news, she had to pay a lot of money for emergency surgery to have something removed from a member of her family... To celebrate Valentine's Day we hear from the romance queen, the Throat Goat herself Ally's mom! We got more advice on how to keep a man happy & more graphic details about hotel sex and Doordash. We also heard what people are hiding from their significant others in I've Got A Secret (including a guy who gave away his girlfriend's dog!) We also got an incredible new Valentine's Day card originated by Jake the Nerd, download it on our IG @kleinallyshow!

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In today's show Ally is out so it's a big mess around here which is weird because she's usually the messy one. We get your creepy or romantic stories, have a new employee of the month nominee, do a generation war, get an update on a former single spotlight and Klein tells us how the rules at school take all the fun out of Valentine's

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In today's bonus pod we reminisce about the old KROQ studios and see who has the best gas mileage

Today on the show we attempted to re-write the terrible jokes inside Valentine's Day cards, and Ally received a gross proposition from her mother about sharing lodgings on a vacation. We also learned way too much about how Jake lasts longer in bed during Man Vs Machine, and heard from a couple on the brink of breakup over laundry etiquette in Petty Claims Court. Johnny also tried sake today on the show, which he doesn't realize is pronounced sah-kee. His drinking habit has prompted a lot of angry discussion about our forced resolutions. Has someone lost already this year? Who?

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Producer Vanessa's mom went to a psychic medium who made some pretty bold predictions about her future. Will she leave the show for a job in Miami, get married and give birth to a baby boy? Clearly the psychic was confused and thought Vanessa was a baby, right? Today we continued qualifying you for our big romance package to Catalina Island, this time by hearing how opposites attract! We met a woman who acts as an older sugar daddy to her younger broke boyfriend. Plus, Jake threatens to ruin Ally's new car smell by taking a nap in her car. In other news, Johnny called in from an event in La Habra and messed it up so bad that we probably lost another sponsor. Hooray! We also determine who the meanest person on the show is. What's your pick?

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ake is hungover and on no sleep, but we made him produce this podcast anyway. Yay! How was his road to the 'Supa Bowl' and did he miss most of it crapping in the bathroom? Find out by listening to today's episode & following along on our socials @kleinallyshow. We, on the other hand, got plenty of sleep during the game. It was boring as hell, but regardless we broke down the highlights, lowlights, commercials, halftime show, and most importantly the winners of our prop bets (+ Jake predicted a cameo from Ricky Martin!?) Also hear our AMA with a Hollywood Matchmaker, Johnny drinking his first buzzball, and we hear about your dry spells for a free trip to Catalina Island.

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Blind Charlie bought Jake a Super Bowl ticket and we have questions. Today was the deadline for Jake's GoFundMe to raise enough money for a Super Bowl ticket, and as of 8:40am he was only 10% of the way to his $6,000 goal. Then a call from Blind Charlie changed everything. He donated the other 90% and Jake is officially Super Bowl bound. Do you think Jake is a complete douche for accepting money from a blind man with kidney failure? Or are you team Jake? In other news, Klein was forced to eat his words on the show today by blind taste testing four major hot dog brands. Vanessa & Johnny (aka the chicken coup) cooked all four on a griddle in the break room and utilized a 'slit system' to keep track of each dog. Find out how Klein did and see the moment he chokes (literally) on the Klein.Ally.Show YT Livestream! We also placed our Super Bowl prop bets, debuted a new fake commercial, and Ally's kid cursed for the first time!

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You never know what's gonna happen on live radio. Once you catch up on the podcast, check out our YouTube Stream HERE to see what you missed! Because you missed some serious skin action. Johnny, Ally and Klein all took their shirts off. Why? You'll have to listen to find out. Today we raged about road rage, went through the highlights of Klein's first WhatNot livestream which includes a review from Ally's mom, the Throat Goat. We learned that BOOB is a palindrome during Johnny Doesn't Know, and Diane the Boomer had an impressive showing during Gen Wars. Ally also now knows the grand total for her newest round of car problems. Any guesses???

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In today's bonus pod we go over why to have kids, Jake's trip to the Supa Bowl and MORE

As we get ready for more Super Bowl commercials, all week we're reviving our favorite fake commercials we've made over the years. Today we brought back Ally's Olive Garden commercial, Klein's Babbel commercial about killing his wife, and Vanessa's iconic Wienerschnitzel commercial. That's just annoying to say as it is to type. In other news, Klein lied to his daughter's teacher for a ridiculous reason, Jake is attempting to crowdfund a ticket to the superbowl (as of this writing he's raised $228 of his 6k goal), and Ally drove home topless in a Mustang convertible, proving that having eyesight is overrated.

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In today's show Klein's mystery pallet arrives, Ally mushes her car, Jake tries to get to the Supa Bowl, Vanessa does impressions and we have an AMA with a professional mascot

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In today's show we go over ride share etiquette, Ally hosts a party for a very sick child, Jake might be going to the Super Bowl, we try to do away with Costco doodlers and Johnny continues his drinking streak

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In today's show we open the box of shame, Ally gets a housewife, Klein straps in for LieDay Friday, we open the box of shame and the legend, Cheech Marin in studio!!!

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Ally forgot to send me the show title and description today so praise the lawd, we get to have the old title back. But probably just for today. In today's show we find out Ally had to pay for her own present, Klein's miserable luck continues, Vanessa kills an old lady, we get a great name for the back office and learn where all the best wings are in LA

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In today's bonus pod Ally has trouble building a swing set, Johnny kills a homeless man, Klein gets his first Cameo request, the boss gives us some good news and Jake has a comedy show

Happy Kibby Day! Today is the day Jake got his dog and her feet haven't touched the ground since. To celebrate, we interviewed Kibby to see if she's truly happy or if she wants to off herself daily. Klein revealed he has a new addiction: trading cards. He's officially hunting for card packs at local shops and losing tons of money in the process. Yay! Want a divorce? We did an AMA with a divorce attorney and learned the new things people are fighting over (like the family dog), and the potential red flags in our own relationships. We also got into a heated debate about workplace snacks in Petty Claims Court (shoutout Torta Susie!) and Ally presents a new business opportunity to the group. Also, Klein is on Cameo! His profile should be live any minute. Hire him and make him look stupid!

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Is it a fake name or a real old person? Either way, Cretora Biggerstaff is our new favorite thing. Klein is on borrowed time after eating ground beef purchased on Jan 9. We also tested our creative skills against AI in a new round of Man Vs Machine, which led to creating a new holiday: Dick Day!

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In honor of Alex Honnold solo climbing the Taipei 101 on Netflix live, we had our 4'9" producer Vanessa solo climb Johnny's standing desk. Was she successful, or did she fall to her death? Watch the livestream HERE for a visual aid. We also got a juicy relationship update from Klein, Ally learns a former middle school friend is now a billionaire. We also brought back the game Tik Tok Toe where we learned how to be an overnight millionaire and how to make a man 'instantly obsessed with you.' And in the divorciest month of the year we vented about spouses in Don't Be A Dick!

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It's Ally's birthday, so naturally the show was filled with accents, drinking, false compliments & a special guest! The show kicked off with special birthday shout outs from A-list celebrities that are definitely real and totally not AI. Klein clearly forgot Ally's birthday but refused to admit it. But let's face it, he's distracted from all the interviews he did about his stolen car! After getting written up by KNX, NY Post and the CA Post, word on the street is KTLA wants an in depth look at the story too. He also learned there WAS extensive damage to the car and as usual this will cost him thousands to fix... We finished out "Bomb week" with Johnny drinking his first Sake Bomb, and Ally's quickly showed him how it's done with a proper chug. Jake interviewed 'Rams fans' who were born & raised in LA, only to learn pretty much all of them had never heard of the team. Water Sommelier Martin Reise joined us in-studio to school us on H20 & taste some of the rarest and most unique water the world has to offer. We also had him try Ally's moon water, among other things, and he was able to debunk some of the world's biggest 'water myths' (spoiler: 8 glasses a day is BS!).

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Jake's deep dive into the world of crochet brought us one of our favorite new sound bites of the year. Will Jake successfully make an Octopus by the end of the week? Also, an update on Klein's stolen car takes away any sympathy you once had (plus he finally tried the 'egg trick' and yes, he's cursed). We also have two potential new challenges to explore: One-Arm Gary asked for a pool rematch against Ally which quickly morphed into a doubles ping pong battle between Ally, Klein, One-Arm Gary & One-Leg Larry. And yes, One-Leg Larry is Gary's long lost relative who we have yet to meet. The other challenge comes from Klein, who claims he can identify any hot dog brand in a blind taste test. Think he can do it? All we know is the next few weeks just got a lot more interesting...

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In today's bonus pod we go over how it's hard to get honest interviews, see if Klein is getting scammed again and get some sports talk with Jake

So much for the Palo Santo. The show got off to an exciting start when Klein got an emergency call from his wife that their car had been stolen. Again. If you think this is a rerun, it's not. This is the same care that was stolen less than a year ago and was never recovered. Thankfully listeners were able to get a handle on the situation and save the day, and we need to buy a lot more Palo Santo. Listeners also controlled our outfits for the day. Based on our show Suggestion Box, we did a full clothing swap which resulted in Ally's pants falling off and Jake's giant breasts making a triumphant comeback. For visual proof, check out today's show on KROQ's YouTube.

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What a way to start a week! Klein got to work only to discover he's been terminated: no email access, no paycheck, and a lot of paperwork about COBRA. How did this happen? Is it real? In other news, Ally's mom called in to share the unique 'gift' she got for her husband's birthday, which is sure to leave all men wanting more and all Ally's wanting less. We shared a new round of nominees for Lifetime Achievement Award (spare roll of toilet paper is the current frontrunner), learned Johnny knows nothing about the human body (new dictionary term: tafibula), and Ally attempts to pass a first grade Spanish quiz.

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Ally here. I understand you feel hurt, betrayed, frustrated and confused about the recent changes to our podcast title. Please know we understand your concerns and hope with time you'll learn to accept this new, not-improved format. If you need somewhere to direct your rage, please call 844-956-GOAT and leave tasteful death threats. I will now proceed to tell you nothing about the content of this podcast because you don't feel it is necessary.

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We did an intervention on Klein. His life in 2026 has been horrible and he's clearly cursed. In the end, he agreed to have a Santero come to his house for an energetic cleansing. We also pitted snowboarders and skiiers against each other in a Family Feud style battle for a trip to a resort in Breckeridge colorado. A heated discussion ensued over the most overrated tourist attractions as the Walk of Fame was named the biggest disappointment in America. Johnny tried Colombian Aguardiente as his drink-of-choice today, and said it tasted like Christmas ornaments. We had Jim Lindberg from Pennywise and Eloise Wang from the Linda Lindas in-studio to promote their new song WE ARE LA, raising funds for musicians who lost their possessions in the LA fires. We also had a new winner in another round of Generation Wars where people from Genx, Gen Z, Millennial and Boomers battle in a game of trivia to win bragging rights.

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In today's bonus pod we go over how bad Johnny fucked up our Starbucks order, we has the highest T and tease some special show events. Oh, and Jake gets fucking lit off coffee

Surprise, Klein is back! He explained why he spent all day at the hospital yesterday and why he's already arguing with his wife over an extended sex drought. It led to plenty of calls about extreme circumstances where people still had sex (including having sex with a broken penis). We also brought back The Dank Tank where we heard people's best 'high-deas' including a man who pitched 'bacon to-go." There was also a heated discussion about the best meal to eat-out for (Klein says breakfast. Agree?). We heard a new argument in Petty Claims court where a couple was fighting over who controls the lights in their home, and we closed out the show with an AMA with a surgical nurse. Are the surgeons who work on holidays less qualified? This burning question & many more were answered. Plus, has Jake already lost Forced Resolutions? Listen & weigh in.

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Anyone place bets on how long it would be before Klein missed a show? Ally & Vanessa explain the late night text they got from Klein saying he had to take a personal day over 'broken bones.' Jake explains how his goal to be an 'espresso guy' is taking a very expensive turn, Ally made a major mistake at a birthday dinner, Klein calls in to elaborate on why he's in the ER, and things go horribly wrong during an on-air game (we're hanging on by a thread.) if you like to watch horrific car accidents, this is the show for you!

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Today on the show we continued our 'forced resolutions' which included Johnny drinking Modelo on the air (spoiler, it tasted like pencils. Also he eats pencils?) We also found out that Klein has yet another problem in his house, a water leak causing him to spend the whole weekend drowned out by giant fans. Ally gets roasted for putting 'will have beer' on her kid's 4th birthday invitations, and the entire show bribes the new employee of the year to get his reserved parking spot! Plus we break down the Golden Globe Awards, Wildcard Weekend & more!

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Can a blind man pick his girlfriend's ass out of a lineup? Blind Charlie joins us in the studio to touch our asses in the name of science. Plus Ally's mom puts her kid in a life-threatening situation, and Omar admits to peeing on a stranger's rug!

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In today's show we see who still eat dinner as a family, Vanessa get into some parking beef, Gen Wars returns, we talk to Blind Charlie's girlfriend about the blind butt test, spin the wheel of resolutions and get some money hacks from El Cheapo

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My Sentiment & Notes Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast

Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast