EP 243: Cool, Calculated- But Still in Protection Mode
EP 243: Cool, Calculated- But Still in Protection Mode  
Podcast: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Published On: Tue Oct 28 2025
Description: Sometimes our kids look completely calm- even smug — while doing something that definitely isn’t a behavior of connection.But…they’re not melting down. They’re not screaming. They seem totally in control.Seems kinda like owl brain, yeah? But- it’s not. It’s protection mode, even if the behavior seems calm. In this episode, we’ll talk about how kids can use their thinking brain in the service of their protective brain. They might plan, plot, and problem-solve… but they aren’t integrating. They aren’t considering other people, or long-term consequences. They’re thinking, but they’re not connected.In this Episode You’ll LearnWhy calm doesn’t always mean regulated (and what’s really going on in those moments).How “clever” misbehavior can actually be protection mode — even when it looks smart or controlled.How a child can plan into the future- and still be in protection mode. What to do after the Owl Brain returns — how to hold accountability, repair, and make success inevitable next time.Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/calculatedThe Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW!You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store!Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA!  A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials.You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents.RobynGobbel.com Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)