107- From A Place Of Love
107- From A Place Of Love  
Podcast: Who Am I Really?
Published On: Sat Feb 10 2024
Description: David from Columbus, Ohio said he was practically at the front door of reunion, but drove away. Years later he finally found some siblings who looked almost exactly like him, and others who’s genetic connection was undeniable. David admitted he’s not an emotional guy, but the rollercoaster of his adopted mother sparking his curiosity, his fear of what he might face on a search, inaction when he had the chance, and the combinations of acceptance and rejection were a lot to bear over the years. This is David’s journey. David (00:08):And like I said, by nature, I'm not a very emotional person. I don't wear my emotions, on my sleeve but man, this was probably the most emotional thing. And I've buried three parents. And by far, this is the most emotional thing I've ever done in my life.Damon (00:32):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is David. He called me from Columbus, Ohio in David's story. You'll hear a man who was practically at the door of reunion, but drove away years later, he finally found some siblings who looked almost exactly like him and others whose genetic connection was undeniable. It's a story made for a book or a movie. Thankfully David has filmed it all. This is David's journey. When I spoke to David, he was in the process of filming a documentary about his adoption journey. He said that from what he's heard, he had a pretty charmed adoption. It was an arranged adoption. And he went straight from the hospital to his new home where he describes a fantastic life. His mother was a stay at home. Mom, his father ran a local used car lot.David (01:46):I had a, you know, just total attention and they showered me with love attention that stayed active in everything. Church, small groups played sports and did everything. So any and everything that I could ever want need think about was provided before I could really even think need or want it. So I was very fortunate in my situation to know nothing but love. And, and, uh, so I was very blessed as a child. And that continues to this day.Damon (02:19):David said he was an only child. His adopted mother was able to get pregnant one time, sadly, she had a bicycle accident and she was never able to get pregnant again. He said he had people in his life who filled the roles of siblings though. One dear cousin was like a big sister to David. He had a close buddy in the neighborhood, Kevin, who was also adopted, who was also adopted and was like a kindred spirit. And they grew up almost like brothers. They were that close. When I asked about adoption as an experience in his home, he said they only spoke of it twice in their house. The first time was when David was a boy, maybe five years old.David (03:02):You know, when I was old enough to understand my parents sat me down and told me that I was adopted. And then it was never really an issue after that. I mean, I look so much like my mother that, you know, there was never any, any thing, you know, where wow, you look totally different or, you know, if you didn't know better, you would have thought. My mother gave birth. It was how much we looked alike. And as far as the love or the thing, it was never an issue, you know, within the family cousins, you know, I mean, it was known, it wasn't a hidden thing, but it's just not something you sat around and talked about. It never, never really was an issue for me growing up. And they never made me feel any different. Uh, I would assume this is how, you know, most families areDamon (03:56):In adulthood. David's mother fell ill. She was taking care of her personal business and tidying her affairs with her loved ones. That was the second time they talked about adoption.David (04:07):And then the second time was when my mother was taking care of her business at the end, when she was sick and knew she wasn't going to be here much longer. She sat me down and I was 39, man. So we, uh, and we talked about it again and that conversation was, Hey, if you ever want to look, it's okay. There's a picture of your birth mother here. And you will recognize it when you see it because you look just like her. So, um, we talked about it once when I was five. And then once when she was getting her affairs in order before she departed. So those were the only two times that it really ever came up.Damon (04:53):What do you think when she said that to you at 39, there's a picture of your birth mother here and you look just like her?David (05:00):Well, naturally I really, you know, my thing was, why are we even talking about this mom? You know, what, why, why is this coming back up? And you know, it was one of those boys just be quiet and listen, let me say what I got to say type thing, because I had such love and I never felt like I missed out on anything or never really. I mean, it was always in the back of my mind and the not knowing, but I never felt as if I was missing out on anything. So, you know, it was kind of one of those things, why are we even having this discussion? And, uh, but she had the foresight to see that later on, you know, as I got older that I may want to, and she just wanted to let me know it was okay with her, that from me not to feel guilty or not to feel any type of way, if I ever did decide to look and that there was a picture there, if I wanted to find it. And all of that, she was is basically telling me there's access to it. If you decide to do it, it's okay with me.Damon (06:06):That's really amazing that she took that time to do so as she was preparing for her own transition, because there's so many adoptees who start their search, some of them don't even tell their adoptive parents that it has begun and then the person passes away and they don't actually have a concrete feeling as to how their parents would have felt about the search. But she, as you said, had the foresight to say, this might be something that comes up for you. I just want to make sure you know, I'm okay. I think that's amazing.David (06:40):Oh, it was, it was, it's just one of many acts of love. And, and we'll get into this a little later, I'm sure. But just one of the many acts of love that she's shown through my life and for her to do that because, you know, I would have never, never thought about looking while she was alive. Like I said, I didn't miss out. And I had a fierce sense of loyalty to her, but she knew that through circumstances, whether it be through health issues, curiosity, whatever the case may be, there may come a point in time that I wanted to look. And so she just kind of gave me a clue or two that if I did, Hey, it's okay. And here's something that may help you. So that was very big on her, but that's the type of person she was. The type of person my mother was. She always thought of others. So that's one of the things that I love most about herDamon (07:39):David's adoptive. Dad was from a large depression era family out of North Carolina. He was the kind of guy who showed his love by getting up every day and going to work to provide for the family. They did father, son bonding, things like fishing,...