088 – Being Biracial Never Occurred to Me
Podcast: Who Am I Really?Published On: Sat Jul 29 2023
Description: In Kenneth’s family all of siblings were adoptees, each fostered in their parents home before their adoption were made final. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much so for his oldest sister who never bonded with their mother. Seeking reunion, Kenneth carefully approached his half-sister and learned the truth about his brith mother’s institutionalization which led to his sister’s adoption, and his own conception.Kenneth was still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity at the time of our interview… for now at least he knows more about where he came from.Read Full TranscriptKenneth: 00:00 Yeah. You know, and it’s kind of funny in being the adopee, I think it was a lot tougher on my sister. My sister would visit my mother there and my mother had electroshock therapy and all that kind of stuff and it’s like I didn’t have to experience it myself, but my sister did.Voices: 00:25 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon: 00:36 This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Kenneth. He called me from Cole City, Illinois. His family of siblings were all adoptees, each fostered in their parents’ home before their adoptions. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much for his oldest sister. Seeking reunion, he bonded with his half sister and learned the truth about his birth mother’s institutionalization, which led to his sister’s adoption and Kenneth’s conception. He’s still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity, but for now at least he knows more about where he came from. This is Kenneth’s journey. Kenneth was the youngest of four adoptees in the suburbs of Chicago. He had two older sisters and a brother. So I’m sure you can imagine adoption was an integral part of their lives, but that doesn’t mean it was entirely a great thing for all of them. Listen to the stories Kenneth tells about his siblings start in their homeKenneth: 01:44 and it’s kind of funny now that I look back on it and I hear other people’s adoption stories, I see how unique in one sense my situation was, my parents became foster parents solely for the, um, to be able to adopt and they figured, well if we start out as foster parents then we’ll have the in that would allow us to, um, be given children. And they were, they got four children and I’m not exactly sure that was the best idea for them because what ended up happening is, is my oldest sister was a foster child to start and they got her at 10 months old and she wasn’t adopted until she was like almost four. And at that point you really don’t have any much bonding that my, my mom and my mom especially. I don’t sense she could totally give her heart to my sister because she never knew if she was going to get her or not and so and and my sister would have visitations with her biological family and when she was three there, my sister can vaguely remember the goodbye to her biological family where everybody’s crying while they were going to be giving her up and I don’t think my sister bonded well with my mom because my mom didn’t know whether she was going to have my sister forever or whether she was going to have to give her up.Kenneth: 03:09 And I think that happened in several, with my oldest sister, definitely my second eldest sister was a foster child until she was eight years old. And that situation was actually opposite. My oldest sister, my second oldest sister, she was used to my mom being her mom, her adoptive mom. But she would visit her biological family and didn’t want to visit. And then they ended up getting into a court fight at the end because the biological family wanted her back at like eight. But they were sensing that they wanted her back so that they could take care of the invalid mother. So there was a court battle. And so my parents ultimately won. And so in this situation, I was constantly growing up in an adopted situation with case workers and social workers around. My brother, my older brother, he actually, they got him and they had a little bit of complication with him, because they were going to allow my parents to adopt him but then they discovered he was deaf. And then there was question marks about whether, you know, should, you know, would they be able to give him the need that they needed? And my parents had to beg and beg them to give give them the chance. And so you’ll notice there’s a lot of turmoil with my parents getting to be able to adopt the three eldest children. With me, it was very simple. My mother was this, my biological mother was a schizophrenia and she was in a mental institution and they knew I was never going to be, she was never going to be coming out. So, I was the first child my parents got and they got me at four months and it was like they knew they were going to have me.Kenneth: 04:51 So I think my mom bonded with me really quickly because there was none of this well we’re fostering and we don’t know whether we’re going to be able to keep this child. I was the only child they knew right off the bat they were going to keep. And I bonded. So my adoption situation was really wonderful. All rosy. I, you know, I loved my parents. I Love My, my dad and my mom and I could see within our, my family, there’s a different, a different way each of us children took adoption. I was the rosiest and my eldest sister, she never took with my mom.Damon: 05:26 Wow. That is really fascinating. You know, I’ve as you know, have heard so many stories, but I’ve never heard this perspective on foster to adoption where because the child was being fostered and was in such a tenuous situation that they might not get to stay with the foster parents who intend to adopt them, that it created this false barrier, and actually a very real barrier. Honestly. That’s really interesting. I’ve never experienced that. Kenneth’s adoption situation was really wonderful for him. He said that since he was brought into his parent’s home as a foster child first, his parents were given way more information about him than a parent who is adopting straightaway gets in a child’s non identifying information, but since his parents were fostering, he got pretty used to seeing social workers come in and out of their home and was generally used to the culture of adoption and fosteringKenneth: <a href="https://www.temi.com/editor/t/VSDZgGdOtMAXoYBLQFSAl0u26m3jH5XR-pm41T7t_DAowth1Suh5PzmG7RIGoJqyBvupOJnWhtU3H5tj2SLXU3_iqEQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=384.19"...
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