You Don't Want Love, You Want to Be Chosen So You Feel Worthy
You Don't Want Love, You Want to Be Chosen So You Feel Worthy  
Podcast: The Thais Gibson Podcast
Published On: Sat Feb 14 2026
Description: Start Your 14-Day Free Trial to the All-Access Pass and Keep the Master the Dating Stage of Relationships Course for Life as a Free Bonus. https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/valentines-day?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=valentines-day&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-14-26&el=podcast Do You Actually Want Love… Or Do You Just Want to Be Chosen? The feeling of not being chosen by someone you deeply care about can feel devastating. But what if the real wound isn’t about love at all? In this powerful episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the deeper subconscious pattern behind the need to be chosen and how it may be rooted in unresolved childhood experiences. You’ll learn why this pattern keeps repeating, what healthy love is actually supposed to feel like, and how to finally shift out of chasing and into secure connection. Episode Summary The desire to be chosen often masks something much deeper: a subconscious belief that being selected equals worthiness. When this pattern forms in childhood through not feeling fully seen, safe, or special, it can show up later as chasing emotionally unavailable partners or investing in people who don’t fully choose you. In this video, you’ll uncover the five pillars of healing this wound, including understanding your subconscious comfort zone, recognizing how you may be recreating unresolved childhood experiences, and learning how to truly choose yourself first. Because the truth is: healthy love is not supposed to feel like auditioning. Key Takeaways • Why not being chosen feels so painful and grief-oriented • How wanting to be chosen can stem from childhood experiences • The difference between conscious desire and subconscious programming • Why we subconsciously choose familiar (even painful) dynamics • What secure love is actually supposed to feel like • How choosing yourself rewires your subconscious comfort zone • Practical steps to begin healing and building self-alignment Timestamps 00:00 – The Feeling of Not Being Chosen 01:27 – 1. Think of a Time When You Wanted to Be Chosen 03:36 – 2. The Desire to Be Chosen Is a Recreation of an Unresolved Childhood Event 05:16 – 14-Day Trial Promo 06:06 – 3. We Choose What to Invest in From Our Subconscious Mind 09:12 – 4. Love Is Not Supposed to Feel Like That 11:24 – We Heal This When We Learn to Choose Ourselves 12:32 – 5. In Order to Change, You Have to Start With Your Subconscious Comfort Zone 14:51 – Steps to Heal Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources: 🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast 📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast 🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1 📝 Read the PDS Blog https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ Let’s Connect on Socials: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/