Jealousy is one of the most complicated—and misunderstood—emotions we experience in intimate relationships. We tend to think of jealousy as inherently unhealthy, something we should suppress, overcome, or eliminate altogether. But what if jealousy itself isn’t actually the problem? In this episode, we explore what jealousy is really trying to tell us, why attempts to get rid of it can sometimes backfire, and how we can learn to respond to it in healthier ways.My guest is Dr. Stephanie Sigler, a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist, author, educator, and founder of Evolve Your Intimacy. She specializes in helping individuals and couples navigate relationships, intimacy, attachment, trauma, and sexual wellness. She is the author of The Clinician's Guide to Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships, and host of the Evolve Your Intimacy Podcast.Some of the specific topics we cover include:Why is jealousy so misunderstood in relationships?How can separating jealousy from envy or insecurity help us respond more effectively?How do attachment styles shape the way we experience jealousy?What can monogamous couples learn about jealousy from non-monogamous relationships?What does a healthy conversation about jealousy actually look like?You can check Stephanie's website and follow her on Instagram @evolve_your_intimacy to learn more.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! If you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order with IndaCloud with code JUSTIN at https://indacloud.co #indacloudpodIf you're looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Becoming a father doesn’t just change a man’s brain. It can also change his sense of identity, his mental health, and his relationships. Fatherhood can bring profound meaning and connection, but it can also introduce new sources of stress, vulnerability, and conflict that we don’t always talk about. So how does becoming a dad change men psychologically? And what do men stand to gain from being more deeply involved in parenting?I am joined once again by Darby Saxbe, a clinical psychologist and tenured full professor of psychology at the University of Southern California. She has published over eighty scientific articles in peer-reviewed journals. Her research focuses on the transition to parenthood, particularly the neural and hormonal underpinnings of fatherhood. Her latest book is titled Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives.Some of the specific topics we cover include:How does becoming a dad transform men psychologically?How common are mental health struggles among new fathers?Why is becoming a parent so challenging for couples?How can engaged fatherhood improve men’s health?You can visit Darby's website to learn more about Dad Brain and follow her on Instagram @darbysaxbephdGot a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code JUSTIN at https://www.oneskin.co/justinAttached Therapy offers personalized therapy for individuals and couples navigating infidelity, sexual disconnection, relationship strain, and other complex intimacy concerns. Founder Jason Powell, LMFT and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, offers in-person sessions in Manhattan and Brooklyn Heights, as well as virtual therapy in multiple states. Learn more at https://www.attachedtherapy.com/Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Becoming a parent changes just about every aspect of life. But it doesn’t just change your routines, priorities, and relationships—it can actually change your brain and body. And while we’ve long recognized the profound biological transformation that accompanies motherhood, we’re only beginning to understand what happens to men when they become fathers. So what exactly is a “dad brain?” How does fatherhood reshape the male brain, hormones, and even the body?My guest is Darby Saxbe, a clinical psychologist and tenured full professor of psychology at the University of Southern California. She has published over eighty scientific articles in peer-reviewed journals. Her research focuses on the transition to parenthood, particularly the neural and hormonal underpinnings of fatherhood. Her latest book is titled Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives.Some of the specific topics we cover include:How (and why) does becoming a parent change the brain?How similar are “dad brain” and “mom brain?"What happens to testosterone when men become fathers?Is there a biological reason for the "dad bod?"You can visit Darby's website to learn more about Dad Brain and follow her on Instagram @darbysaxbephdGot a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Cozy Earth’s Labor Day Sale is happening now through September 8th. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 30% off, the biggest savings of the season. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here!Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code JUSTIN at https://www.oneskin.co/justinThe Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Menopause is finally getting the attention it deserves, with growing recognition of its impact on sexual health, relationships, work, and quality of life. At the center of this conversation is hormone therapy, which has been surrounded by fear and confusion since the Women’s Health Initiative study in the early 2000s, which dramatically changed how it was perceived and prescribed. Today, scientists are revisiting that history as a new generation pushes for better information, better care, and greater choice in managing menopause.My guest is Alicia Rose, an award-winning director and the Founder of Menopunks—a documentary, podcast, and activist movement championing hormonal education, access, and reproductive justice. A prolific filmmaker with deep roots as both a musician and indie music industry leader, she has directed more than three dozen music videos for global artists.Some of the specific topics we cover include:What have women missed out on due to fears about hormone therapy?Why is menopause often left out of conversations about bodily autonomy and reproductive justice?What’s driving the recent surge in attention to menopause?Beyond sexual function, how does menopause affect women's lives?You can check out the Menopunks website to learn more about Alicia's work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Soaking Wet. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What happens when two people in a long-term relationship have dramatically different sex drives? How do couples navigate intimacy when aging or health problems make sex difficult, or even impossible? And why do some people experience a sudden surge in sexual desire after losing a partner, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as “widow’s fire”? In this episode, we're answering more listener sex questions! My guest is Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. Ashley also works in mental health clinical research and has more than 15 years of experience in sex education. She also has a podcast called What's Your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.Some of the specific topics we cover include:How can couples navigate differences in sexual values?Can non-monogamy help with desire discrepancies?How do couples successfully adapt when one partner develops a sexual difficulty?Why can grief sometimes increase sexual desire?You can check out Ashley's website to learn more about her work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Soaking Wet. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html Attached Therapy offers personalized therapy for individuals and couples navigating infidelity, sexual disconnection, relationship strain, and other complex intimacy concerns. Founder Jason Powell, LMFT and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, offers in-person sessions in Manhattan and Brooklyn Heights, as well as virtual therapy in multiple states. Learn more at https://www.attachedtherapy.com/***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When we talk about what we want sexually, we usually describe certain behaviors, positions, or roles. But that's only part of the story. Beneath what we want to do is a deeper question: How do we want to feel during sex? Some want to feel adored. Others want to feel powerful, desired, free, or cared for. These emotional experiences reflect our Core Desires, and understanding them can offer a much richer picture of our sexuality than simply cataloging our preferred bedroom activities.I am joined once again by Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the co-creators of the Somatica® Method and co-founders of the Somatica Institute, where they have trained coaches around the world in an experiential approach to sex, relationships, and personal transformation. They are the authors of three books and serve as the lead sexologists and co-executive producers of the UK Channel 4 award-winning series Virgin Island. Some of the specific topics we cover include:What are some examples of Core Desires?How are Core Desires different from our attachment style?Are Core Desires the same thing as sexual fantasies?How can someone figure out their Core Desires?What are some tips for couples looking to explore their Core Desires together?You can visit celesteanddanielle.com to learn more about their work and take their Core Desires quiz at https://somatica.com/quizGot a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2633-lehmiller***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More young adults are delaying their sexual debut, with growing numbers reaching their twenties or even thirties without ever having had sex. At the same time, virginity has become increasingly stigmatized, leaving many people feeling ashamed, isolated, or like they’re falling behind. So what’s driving this shift, and what does it tell us about how sex and dating are changing?My guests are Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the co-creators of the Somatica® Method and co-founders of the Somatica Institute, where they have trained coaches around the world in an experiential approach to sex, relationships, and personal transformation. They are the authors of three books and serve as the lead sexologists and co-executive producers of the UK Channel 4 award-winning series Virgin Island. Some of the specific topics we cover include:Why are more young adults delaying their sexual debut?What’s driving the rise in adult virginity?Why did virginity become a social liability?What can the TV series Virgin Island teach everyone about building confidence and seeking more meaningful connections?You can visit celesteanddanielle.com to learn more about their work and take their Core Desires quiz at https://somatica.com/quizGot a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days, Cozy Earth’s beach towels will be your new poolside essential. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off. That’s code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here!The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite how much we hear about ADHD, its impact on our intimate lives is often overlooked. Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD experience at least one form of sexual dysfunction. ADHD can also contribute to frustration, misunderstanding, and conflict in relationships. In today's show, we’re revisiting a classic episode from the archives that takes a closer look at the intersection of ADHD and sex.My guest is Cate Osborn, a certified sex educator, a mental health advocate, and full-time content creator, with ADHD. As a professional table top role-playing game performer, she is passionate about opening conversations about neurodiversity and accessibility in the gaming and BDSM/kink communities.Some of the specific topics we cover include:How is ADHD related to sexual desire?Why is ADHD linked to both premature orgasm and delayed orgasm?How can medications to treat ADHD affect sex?Are there gender differences in how ADHD relates to sexual difficulties?If you find yourself constantly distracted during sex, what can you do about this?You can check out Cate's website to learn more about her work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Traditional sex education often skips topics like the clitoris, orgasm, sexual pain, and vaginal health, leaving many women to figure these things out all on their own. In this episode, we cover the sex advice every woman should know. We’ll discuss how to make sex more pleasurable, what to do about sexual pain and difficulty reaching orgasm, what you need to know about vaginal health and hygiene products, and more. My guest is Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexuality educator. With over 300 million views and 2 million subscribers, her YouTube channel @RenaMalikMD has become a go-to destination for frank, evidence-based discussions of taboo topics. With a prolific portfolio boasting over 80 peer-reviewed publications, she has contributed to advancement and innovation in the field of urology. She is also author of the book The Hard Truth: Everything Men Need to Know for Good Health, Great Sex, and Long Life. Some of the specific topics we cover include:The keys to making intercourse more pleasurable.Why sex hurts—and what you can do about it.What really helps when orgasm is difficult.The truth about vaginal taste, smell, and hygiene.Simple ways to prevent vaginal and urinary infections.You can check out Rena's website to learn more about her work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Open relationships, polyamory, and consensual non-monogamy are receiving more attention than ever, yet they’re still surrounded by stereotypes and misconceptions. In her new book, Alyssa Shelasky moves beyond the debate by sharing the real-life stories of people navigating these relationships. In this episode, we explore what draws people to non-monogamy, what these relationships actually look like, and what we can all learn from them.Alyssa Shelasky writes the New York Magazine column Sex Diaries, which was developed into an HBO docuseries with Shelasky producing and starring. She is the author of Apron Anxiety, This Might Be Too Personal, and the new book Sex Diaries: Real Life Stories of Non-Monogamy and Polyamory. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:What do people get wrong about who practices non-monogamy?Why do people open their relationships in the first place?What happens when non-monogamy gets complicated, messy, or doesn’t go as planned?Which real-life stories challenge our biggest assumptions about open relationships?What can monogamous couples learn from people who practice non-monogamy?Check out Alyssa's website to learn more about her work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform! ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us only get small glimpses into other people’s sex lives, which can make our own experiences feel more unusual than they really are. But what happens when you spend years hearing the unfiltered truth about people’s desires, insecurities, relationships, and intimate experiences? In this episode, we explore what those stories reveal about modern sex and relationships.My guest is Alyssa Shelasky. Her popular New York Magazine column, Sex Diaries, is widely considered a cultural phenomenon and was developed into an HBO docuseries with Shelasky producing and starring. She is the author of Apron Anxiety, This Might Be Too Personal, and the new book Sex Diaries: Real Life Stories of Non-Monogamy and Polyamory. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:Why are people sometimes more comfortable sharing their deepest sexual secrets with a stranger than with a partner?What do people’s sex stories reveal about the roles sex plays beyond physical pleasure?How have people’s desires, relationships, and intimate lives changed over the years?What has collecting countless intimate stories taught Alyssa about modern intimacy?Check out Alyssa's website to learn more about her work.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.***Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2628-lehmillerThe Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html ***Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we went behind the scenes of film and television to explore how intimacy coordinators help create authentic, safe, and compelling intimate scenes. But the lessons from this profession extend far beyond Hollywood. In this episode, we’re bringing those lessons into the bedroom to explore how they can help us build healthier, hotter, and more connected sex lives. I am joined once again by Laura Desiree, the creative director of SNCTM, a private members-only erotic society known for its immersive events that blend live performance, fantasy, intimacy and consent-driven exploration. She is a Level II certified intimacy coordinator with years of experience in erotic media and sex-positive storytelling. Through her work with SNCTM, Laura curates experiences that are culturally relevant, artistically elevated and rooted in clear boundaries, consent, and discretion. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can planning sex create more intimacy and chemistry? What can intimacy coordinators teach us about consent and communication? How can couples communicate their boundaries more effectively? How can people stay present during sex instead of overthinking? What should people know before recreating a favorite movie sex scene? You can check out Laura’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex scenes have been part of film and television for decades, but the way they’re created has changed dramatically. Today, many productions rely on intimacy coordinators to help choreograph intimate scenes while fostering safety, collaboration, and creativity on set. In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on this fascinating profession to explore how intimate scenes are actually made. My guest is Laura Desiree, the creative director of SNCTM, a private members-only erotic society known for its immersive events that blend live performance, fantasy, intimacy and consent-driven exploration. She is a Level II certified intimacy coordinator with years of experience in erotic media and sex-positive storytelling. Through her work with SNCTM, Laura curates experiences that are culturally relevant, artistically elevated and rooted in clear boundaries, consent, and discretion. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How did intimacy coordinators become part of film and television? What does an intimacy coordinator do from pre-production to filming? Why can choreographed intimacy create better chemistry? What kinds of scenes require an intimacy coordinator? What qualifies someone to work as an intimacy coordinator? You can check out Laura’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we explored why dead bedrooms happen and just how common they are. Today, we’re shifting from understanding the problem to finding solutions, with practical, evidence-based strategies for rebuilding intimacy, navigating desire discrepancies, and improving sexual communication. If you’re hoping to reconnect with your partner, this episode is for you. I am joined once again by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and certified emotionally focused couples therapist. She specializes in sexual health and relationships and owns a private practice in Minnesota. She is the co-author of the book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can couples move forward when only one partner is dissatisfied with their sex life? Are there topics couples should avoid when discussing desire discrepancies? How can understanding responsive desire help couples reconnect sexually? Why might taking sex off the table temporarily help revive a dead bedroom? How can couples make scheduled intimacy feel exciting instead of obligatory? You can check our Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook @drlaurenfogelmersy. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Breathable, soft, and built for summer, check out Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and beach towels. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, couples sometimes find that their sex life gradually fades away. This might happen after having children, or following a stressful period at work. However, there isn’t always an obvious turning point. In today’s episode, we’re taking a closer look at why dead bedrooms happen, how common they are, and how to know when it’s time to seek help. My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and certified emotionally focused couples therapist. She specializes in sexual health and relationships and owns a private practice in Minnesota. She is the co-author of the book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do dead bedrooms actually look like? Why might sex disappear in a long-term relationship? How common are desire discrepancies in relationships? How do we distinguish the normal waning of passion from a true sexual problem? When should couples seek help for desire discrepancies? You can check our Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook @drlaurenfogelmersy. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People are increasingly turning to AI for companionship. But behind every AI companion is a company that owns the technology, collects the data, and programs how these relationship work. So what happens when corporations become intermediaries in our most intimate relationships? In this episode, we’re diving into the ethics, risks, and future of AI intimacy. I am joined once again by Bridget Todd, an award-winning creator, host, and producer. She hosts the critically acclaimed podcast There Are No Girls on the Internet, and Mozilla’s award-winning podcast IRL: Online Life is Real Life. Bridget is a Technology in the Public Interest Fellow at the MacArthur Foundation and an affiliate at Harvard University’s Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society. She is also author of the new audiobook Love at First Prompt. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What makes the business model behind AI companions so concerning? What risks arise when a corporation mediates an intimate relationship? How do consent and autonomy differ in AI relationships versus human ones? What should users know about privacy when interacting with AI? Does AI companionship reduce loneliness, or make it worse? You can find Bridget on her website and on Instagram @bridgetmarieindc, and you can check out Love at First Prompt here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about someone falling in love with an AI companion, their first reaction is often disbelief. But as AI becomes woven into everyday life, more people are turning to it not just for information, but also for companionship, emotional support, friendship, and even intimacy. So what draws people into these relationships, and what can they teach us about human connection? My guest is Bridget Todd, an award-winning creator, host, and producer. She hosts the critically acclaimed podcast There Are No Girls on the Internet, and Mozilla’s award-winning podcast IRL: Online Life is Real Life. Bridget is a Technology in the Public Interest Fellow at the MacArthur Foundation and an affiliate at Harvard University’s Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society. She is also author of the new audiobook Love at First Prompt. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What needs are people trying to meet through AI companionship? Why has eroticism become such a central use of artificial intelligence? How does AI’s constant validation shape these relationships? What benefits do people report from AI companions? What does the rise of AI companionship reveal about modern dating? You can learn more about Bridget on her website and on Instagram @bridgetmarieindc, and you can check out Love at First Prompt here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Breathable, soft, and built for summer, check out Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and beach towels. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One person sees coercion. Another sees miscommunication. Two people can watch the exact same scene and walk away with completely different interpretations. So why do stories about consent generate so much disagreement? In this episode, we’re exploring what film and television reveal about our cultural understanding of consent. I am joined once again by Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmaker, and professor who has published several books including The Ambiguity of Consent: Consent Puzzles in Film, Television, Public Discourse, and the Law and Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies. She is a tenured Associate Professor of Communication at Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does popular culture shape the way we think about consent? What gets lost when we force complicated sexual situations into simple narratives? Why does society apply different standards of consent in different contexts? How can we introduce more nuance into our conversations about consent? You can visit Michele’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Is consent alone enough to tell us whether a sexual experience was ethical, healthy, and/or mutually fulfilling? In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between consent and desire, why affirmative consent frameworks sometimes fall short, and what it means to think beyond consent when it comes to sexual ethics. My guest is Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmaker, and professor who has published several books including The Ambiguity of Consent: Consent Puzzles in Film, Television, Public Discourse, and the Law and Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies. She is a tenured Associate Professor of Communication at Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can we acknowledge the ambiguity of consent without minimizing harm? Where do affirmative consent frameworks succeed, and where do they fall short? Why do people sometimes consent to sex they don’t genuinely want? What do we owe each other beyond consent? You can visit Michele’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform!  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In this episode, we’re diving into the many ways that people incorporate chastity into their intimate lives. As we’ll discuss, you don’t neccessarily need a partner or even a chastity cage to explore it. We’ll look at the many different roles chastity can play, from solo exploration and relationship dynamics to gender affirmation and self-discipline. I am joined once again by Paul Botto, the COO of KINK3D. He’s been working in the queer and kink community in San Francisco for the past 10 years, joining KINK3D in 2021 as the company’s first hire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might someone practice chastity on their own? How can chastity serve as a form of gender affirmation? How can chastity communicate sexual interests and boundaries? What does chastity symbolize in intimate relationships? Where should beginners start with chastity? You can check out the KINK3D blog here, as well as find them on Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, and Reddit. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Historically, chastity was associated with suppressing sexual desire. Today, however, it often means something very different. For many people, it’s a way of exploring desire, anticipation, control, intimacy, and pleasure. In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology of chastity, including why people are drawn to it, who’s into it, and what it can teach us about human sexuality more broadly. My guest is Paul Botto, the COO of KINK3D. He’s been working in the queer and kink community in San Francisco for the past 10 years, joining KINK3D in 2021 as the company’s first hire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does chastity mean in modern sexual culture? How has the meaning of chastity changed over time? What do people find psychologically appealing about chastity? Why can limiting pleasure intensify desire? Why are some people drawn to chastity outside of kink? You can check out the KINK3D blog here, as well as find them on Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, and Reddit. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why do some people need emotional connection to feel desire, while others are more responsive to novelty, touch, or fantasy? And why can the exact same sexual experience feel exciting one day and flat the next? In this episode, we explore the five dimensions of desire and how understanding your arousal architecture can transform your sex life. I am joined once again by Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex specialist, certified trauma therapist, and author of the book Arousal, Answered: An Expert’s Guide to Authentic Pleasure and Liberating Sex. Her mission is to help others liberate themselves from outdated sexual scripts and empower them to rewrite their authentic sexual narratives. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the Arousal Architecture, and what does it reveal about desire? How do the five dimensions of arousal shape sexual desire? How can arousal needs shift across relationships and situations? How can understanding your arousal architecture improve your sex life? How do we separate what genuinely turns us on from what we think should turn us on? You can visit Kayna’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that if you’re attracted to someone, arousal should just naturally happen. But it’s not that simple. In this episode, we explore the science of sexual arousal, the many pathways through which desire can emerge, and how stress, trauma, burnout, and major life experiences can reshape our relationship with pleasure. My guest is Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex specialist, certified trauma therapist, and author of the book Arousal, Answered: An Expert’s Guide to Authentic Pleasure and Liberating Sex. Her mission is to help others liberate themselves from outdated sexual scripts and empower them to rewrite their authentic sexual narratives. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can understanding the brain unlock more pleasure? Why is desire more complex than spontaneous vs. responsive? What role do stress, safety, and connection play in arousal? Why is it so hard to stay present during sex? How can becoming more embodied enhance desire? You can visit Kayna’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about “out-of-control” sexual behavior, they tend to think of men. But women can struggle with it too, and their experiences have often been overlooked or misunderstood because most of the research and treatment models were built around male experiences. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of out-of-control sexual behavior in women, and what people often get wrong about it. I am joined once again by Jess Levith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She’s fully trained in both attachment-focused EMDR therapy and trauma-focused acceptance and commitment therapy, works with LGBTQQIA+ and kinky folks, consensual non-monogamy, women’s sexual health, and out-of-control sexual behavior. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do we misunderstand about women’s experiences with problematic sexual behavior? How do you distinguish between a high sex drive and sexual behavior that truly feels out of control? How do clinicians separate genuine sexual dysregulation from sexual shame? How does out-of-control sexual behavior differ in women and men? If someone feels their sexual behavior is out of control, where should they start in seeking help? You can follow Jess on Instagram to stay updated about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2624-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people think sexuality is something we figure out early in life. But for many people, major realizations about their sexuality don’t happen until much later, sometimes after decades in heterosexual relationships or marriages. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of coming out later in life and what happens when you discover aspects of your sexuality you never fully understood before. My guest is Jess Levith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She’s fully trained in both attachment-focused EMDR therapy and trauma-focused acceptance and commitment therapy, works with LGBTQ+ and kinky folks, consensual non-monogamy, women’s sexual health, and out-of-control sexual behavior. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might someone not fully understand their sexuality until later in adulthood? Is coming out later in life always about repression, or can something else be happening? What is sexual emergence, and how does it differ from coming out? How can people approach conversations about changing sexuality with long-term partners in honest, compassionate ways? You can follow Jess on Instagram to stay updated about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people are curious about non-monogamy. But there’s a big difference between liking the idea of it and knowing whether it genuinely fits your emotional needs, attachment style, and relationship temperament. So how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? That’s what we’re exploring in this episode. I am joined once again by Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and speaker specializing in trauma, relationships, sexuality, and non-traditional relationship structures. She is the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She also co-hosts the Open Deeply podcast with Sunny Megatron. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How can you tell whether you genuinely want non-monogamy or simply like the idea of it? What are signs you may be overriding yourself to make non-monogamy work? How can you assess whether non-monogamy is a good fit for you? How can you safely and honestly explore the relationship style that fits you best? Learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People often think successful non-monogamy comes down to communication, boundaries, and relationship agreements. But underneath those conversations are deeper psychological dynamics involving attachment, emotional safety, and nervous system regulation. In today’s episode, we’re exploring what it means to approach consensual non-monogamy through a trauma-informed lens. My guest is Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and speaker specializing in trauma, relationships, sexuality, and non-traditional relationship structures. She is the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She also co-hosts the Open Deeply podcast with Sunny Megatron. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does “trauma-informed non-monogamy” actually mean? What are signs someone may be consenting without truly feeling grounded internally? How can somatic tracking help us better understand our intuitions? How can jealousy be reframed as a source of curiosity rather than anxiety? How can people assess whether they’re emotionally ready for consensual non-monogamy? Learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people say they want deeper relationships and more meaningful connection, yet many conversations stay stuck at the surface level. We talk about work, schedules, the weather, or whatever else feels safe. So why is it so hard to move beyond small talk? In this episode, we’re exploring the science of meaningful conversation, from curiosity and attention to vulnerability, flirting, and emotional openness. I am joined once again by Nicholas Epley, the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many conversations stay surface-level? What kinds of questions foster closeness? How do we balance vulnerability with oversharing? Can people tell when they don’t fully have our attention? What small conversational shifts create deeper connection? You can visit Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We live in a world where people are more digitally connected than ever, yet loneliness remains incredibly common. Most of us move through daily life surrounded by strangers while following an unspoken rule: don’t engage. In this episode, we’re exploring why humans are so socially cautious, but also why even brief conversations with strangers can meaningfully improve our happiness, health, and sense of connection. My guest is Nicholas Epley,  the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why are conversations with strangers usually better than we expect? Do people really want to be left alone in public? Why do small moments of connection matter so much? How has technology changed everyday social interaction? For people who want to be a little more social, what’s a good starting point? You can visit Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of couples struggle to talk about sex because those conversations can feel incredibly vulnerable. And if the topic comes up at all, it’s often only when there’s a problem in the bedroom, which makes every discussion feel loaded with pressure, shame, defensiveness, or fear of rejection. In today’s episode, we’ll discuss how couples can communicate about intimacy in healthier and more productive ways. I am joined once again by Michelle Fischler, an ASTO Certified Sex Therapist with over a decade of clinical experience. She is also the founder of GETSOME, a platform and podcast dedicated to dissolving sexual shame. Her new book is titled Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do conversations about sex feel so vulnerable? How can couples make talking about sex feel less high-stakes? How does shame complicate sexual communication? What mistakes do couples make when discussing intimacy problems? What helps partners feel safer talking about sex? You can check out Michelle’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @getsome_podcast Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people talk about premature ejaculation, the conversation is usually framed around performance: lasting longer, gaining control, or somehow “fixing” the problem. But what if we’ve been thinking about this issue all wrong? In today’s episode, we explore a different way of understanding early ejaculation that’s less rooted less in performance and more in the nervous system, anxiety, shame, and body awareness. My guest is Michelle Fischler, an ASTO Certified Sex Therapist with over a decade of clinical experience. She is also the founder of GETSOME, a platform and podcast dedicated to dissolving sexual shame. Her new book is titled Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What counts as early ejaculation? Why isn’t early ejaculation just a performance problem? How can breath help regulate arousal? What can solo practice teach us about arousal and pleasure? How can couples approach early ejaculation as a team? You can check out Michelle’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @getsome_podcast Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

To celebrate Masturbation Month, we’re sharing a compilation of clips about self-pleasure. Masturbation Month traces back to 1995, when U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should perhaps be included in sex education. The political backlash ultimately led to her firing, and May 14 was later declared National Masturbation Day in her honor—a movement that eventually expanded into Masturbation Month. In this episode, we’re exploring the history and science of self-pleasure. Featured guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. Some of the specific topics we address include: How have attitudes toward masturbation changed over time? What do people fantasize about during masturbation? Does avoiding sex and masturbation boost athletic performance? How can we build a healthier relationship with self-pleasure? Can masturbation help you fall asleep faster? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2620-lehmiller Why do we love who we love? Why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? In The Intimate Animal, Dr. Justin Garcia explores the science of attraction, intimacy, and love by blending cutting-edge research with real-world insight.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Vibrator photo by IFONNX Toys on Unsplash.

Most of us know the basics of sex, but having truly great sex is another story. Today, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations from the archives about increasing sexual pleasure, deepening intimacy, and making sex more satisfying for everyone involved. My guest is Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author of the book Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy. Some of the topics we explore include: How can changing up your masturbation routine enhance pleasure and partnered sex? What are some tips for better oral sex? How can you make intercourse and anal sex more pleasurable? What increases the odds of mutual orgasm? Why is it important to step outside your sexual comfort zone sometimes? To learn more about Emily, visit her website at emilyjamea.com. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the last episode, we explored how trauma shapes our relationships, intimacy, and emotional patterns. But the bigger question is: what do we do with that insight, and how do we start building healthier ways of connecting? Today, we’re talking about healing, supportive partnership, and what moving forward can actually look like after trauma. I am joined once again by Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can relationships become a space for healing after trauma? What are the first steps to addressing trauma in a healthy way? How do you talk about trauma with a partner? What does it mean to truly support a partner with a trauma history? How can couples rebuild safety, intimacy, and pleasure after trauma? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives. My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does trauma mean in a clinical sense? What happens in the brain and body when someone experiences trauma? How does trauma show up in our intimate lives and relationships? Why doesn’t trauma affect everyone the same way? How can trauma affect sexual arousal and desire? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More cosmetic surgeries are performed on the chest than almost anywhere else on the body, with breast implants leading the way. Not long ago, “bigger is better” defined the ideal, but we’re seeing a shift toward smaller, more natural results. So what’s driving that change? Today, we’re diving into the world of chest surgery, and what it reveals about beauty, power, and the making of the “ideal” breast. I am joined once again by Sarah Thornton, a sociologist, non-fiction writer, and author of four critically acclaimed books. Thornton’s most widely read book is Seven Days in the Art World, which is translated into over 20 languages. Her latest is titled, Tits Up: The Top Half of Women’s Liberation, which explores the significance of breasts across radically different social worlds. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common are breast implants today? How have aesthetic goals shifted over time? What shapes patient preferences in augmentation? Are there cross-cultural differences in breast augmentation? How do augmentation, reconstruction, and reduction differ in purpose and meaning? Check out Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

You might think that breasts are inherently sexual and that humans have always eroticized them. Historically, however, breasts haven’t always been seen this way, and even today, breasts are barely sexualized in some cultures. In today’s episode, we’re looking at the fascinating story behind how breasts became eroticized, and how the cultural meaning of breasts has changed over time. My guest is Sarah Thornton, a sociologist, non-fiction writer, and author of four critically acclaimed books. Thornton’s most widely read book is Seven Days in the Art World, which is translated into over 20 languages. Her latest is titled, Tits Up: The Top Half of Women’s Liberation, which explores the significance of breasts across radically different social worlds. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How did decoupling breasts from feeding make them more erotic? What role did infant formula play in that shift? Historically, was breast sexualization partly a privilege of wealth? How do culture and concealment shape what we eroticize? Why is the nipple where we draw the line? Check out Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways. I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Is it true that happy couples don’t fight? How can conflict avoidance be an even bigger problem than frequent conflict? Why is it important to think about conflict as a disagreement rather than a fight? How can couples navigate mismatches in their conflict style? What does “healthy conflict” look like in practice? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We tend to think of love as something that just happens. You meet the right person, you feel a spark, and everything else just falls into place. However, love doesn’t come effortlessly. It’s something we build over time. In this episode, we’re exploring the key ingredients of lasting love and the everyday behaviors that keep love alive. My guest is Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we address include: How can you sustain and cultivate attraction over time in long-term relationships? Why is respect one of the most overlooked ingredients of love? How is trust built in small, everyday interactions? How can we learn to be more compassionate in our relationships? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We tend to think about sexual orientation as a fixed identity that’s clear, stable, and easy to define. However, sexuality doesn’t fit into neat and tidy boxes like that. In this episode, we’re diving into the world of heterosexual man who want to have sex with other men, and what this tells us about the complexity of human sexuality. I am joined once again by Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common is it for heterosexual guys to have same-sex fantasies? Are these fantasies and desires purely physical, or is there an emotional component as well? Are these men just secretly gay? Why is male same-sex behavior more stigmatized than female same-sex behavior? Are women sometimes turned on by watching their husbands or boyfriends with other men? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2615-lehmiller  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Being turned on by the idea of sharing your partner with someone else is a surprisingly common sexual fantasy, and it’s something many couples are actively exploring in real life. In today’s show, we’re diving into a practice known as hotwifing, including how common it is and the psychology behind it. My guest is Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is hotwifing, and how is it similar to or different from cuckolding? What are some common themes involved in hotwifing fantasies? Why is hotwifing appealing to so many people? What are people’s experiences with hotwifing like? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex education and sexual healthcare rarely meet the needs of persons with disabilities. From limited access to information to barriers in care, millions are being left out. Today, we’re breaking down where these gaps come from, how they show up in everyday life, and what inclusive care would actually look like. I am joined once again by Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute with the disability and sexual health initiative. Her research focuses on sexual consent, sexual violence, and sexuality and disability. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is disability so often left out of conversations about sexual health and education? What everyday barriers do people with disabilities face when accessing sexual and reproductive healthcare? How much of this comes down to gaps in provider training and knowledge? What needs to change to make sex education more inclusive of people with disabilities? You can learn more about Kirsten’s work and check out her publications here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Wanting sex and consenting to sex aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we agree to sex we don’t want, and other times we turn down opportunities for sex we do want. Today, we’re going to explore the distinction between wantedness and consent, including common reasons people agree to sex that they don’t actually desire. My guest is Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute with the disability and sexual health initiative. Her research focuses on sexual consent, sexual violence, and sexuality and disability. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between wanting sex and consenting to sex? Why do people sometimes turn down sex they genuinely desire? What happens when there’s a mismatch between wantedness and consent? How do people feel about that? What does healthy sexual agency look like in practice? You can learn more about Kirsten’s work and check out her publications here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans have always looked for ways to enhance sex, but some of the most popular tools weren’t even meant for that purpose at all. One drug, originally developed for heart conditions, made its way into nightlife and became closely tied to sex. In today’s episode, we’re talking all about poppers, including how they work, how they became linked to pleasure, and why they’re still so controversial. I am joined once again by Adam Zmith, a writer and multi-format producer. His books include Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures, as well as Solemates: A History of Our Fetish for Feet. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What exactly are poppers? Why do people use them to enhance sex? How did they become embedded in queer nightlife? What myths have fueled stigma around them? Are there any risks in using them? Check out Adam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (Adam Zmith headshot by Jade Smith).

When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 1 in 7 people had fantasized about feet or toes. In today’s episode, we’re exploring the fascinating history of foot fetishes, the psychology behind attraction to feet, and why men seem more likely to report this interest than women. My guest is Adam Zmith is a writer and multi-format producer. His books include Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures, as well as Solemates: A History of Our Fetish for Feet. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How long have foot fetishes existed? What draws people to feet in the first place? How common are foot fetishes? Why do women’s feet seem to be fetishized more than men’s? Check out Adam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (Adam Zmith headshot by Jade Smith).

Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn’t something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that’s inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick, a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might using multiple dating strategies improve your odds? Can AI predict attraction better than we can ourselves? How accurate are first impressions on dating apps? Is there an optimal timeline for meeting in person after matching? What strategies lead to healthier online dating experiences? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us think we know what we’re looking for in a partner. We have a “type,” a mental checklist, and the belief that if someone checks enough boxes, everything else will fall into place. But decades of research suggest that attraction and compatibility don’t work that way. In this episode, we’ll unpack how attraction really unfolds and why chemistry is so hard to predict. My guest is Dr. Paul Eastwick, a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the link between what we say we want and who we actually fall for? Do we really have a “type” when it comes to romantic partners? Why is it so hard to predict whether two people will feel a spark? How can we improve our chances of finding a compatible partner? How much does long-term satisfaction depend on initial compatibility? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort with Cozy Earth, and make every day feel intentional. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans have always been kinky, but what we fetishize and why has changed over time. In this episode, we’re revisiting the fascinating history behind some of the most common fetishes. From leather and nylon to the enduring appeal of feet, we’ll unpack how culture, technology, and history shaped these desires. We’ll also dive into the unexpected history of pornography and explore how hentai emerged as a major form of erotic storytelling. My guest is Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. Esmé is author of the book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.  Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How did leather and nylon come to be associated with sex? When did foot fetishes start to become popular? How long have humans been making porn? Historically, why was porn often used for political purposes? When did cartoon/animated porn begin to rise in popularity? To hear more from Esmé about our kinky history, check out her previous appearances on the show in episodes 207, 208, and 343. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How much do you really know about orgasms? In this episode, we answer common questions about climax and explore the concept of orgasm equity, including what it really means to close the orgasm gap. We’ll also discuss strategies for experiencing more pleasure, and whether becoming multi-orgasmic is something you can actually learn. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her work has also been featured widely in the popular media. Her latest book is titled Good Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Who’s responsible for your orgasm during partnered sex? What do porn and popular media get wrong about how orgasms are portrayed? Why do some people feel like they need to fake orgasms? Is it ever okay to fake an orgasm? Scientifically, what actually is an orgasm anyway? Check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: what are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn’t rules. It’s clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we’re talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between our needs and our desires? How can partners discuss and negotiate different desires in healthy ways? What kinds of things should go into a relationship agreement? How do you cultivate feelings of security in a non-monogamous relationship? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2610-lehmiller  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Beginning a consensually non-monogamous relationship can trigger reactions you never saw coming. For example, the first time your partner connects with someone else, your body might react like there’s danger. So why is that? Today, we’re going to explore how to craft secure non-monogamous relationships and work skillfully with intense emotions that might arise along the way. My guest is Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is exploring non-monogamy akin to the experience of taking a psychedelic? How can somatic regulation help when we’re experiencing jealousy and other intense emotions? What factors contribute to feelings of jealousy in non-monogamous relationships? What does it look like to transform our relationship with jealousy? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort with Cozy Earth, and make every day feel intentional. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans evolved for face-to-face courtship in small communities, where attraction unfolded gradually and choices were limited. Today, we’re navigating global dating markets, algorithms, AI recommendations, endless novelty, and constant rejection. So what happens when ancient mating psychology collides with modern technology? I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He is the chief scientific advisor for Match, and author of the new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, And Why We Live and Die For Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How do dating apps shape our dopamine responses and bonding tendencies? Could AI actually improve mate selection, or is that better left to humans? Are changing relationship patterns a sign of human adaptability, or something else? Where might the future of sex, dating, and intimacy be headed? To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on the socials. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why do we fall in and out of love so quickly? Why does love feel intoxicating at first, but complicated over time? The answer may be simpler than we think: humans are animals. Our brains were shaped by ancient mating systems that developed long before dating apps and modern culture. So what does it mean to be an “intimate animal?” And how much of our love lives today are still being driven by our evolutionary past? My guest is Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He is the chief scientific advisor for Match, and author of the new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, And Why We Live and Die For Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What makes intimacy such a defining part of our species? Are humans built for monogamy or non-monogamy? What happens inside the brain when we fall in love with someone? Why does navigating sex and relationships in the modern world feel so challenging? To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on the socials. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Research shows that couples who bring playfulness into conversations about sex report greater satisfaction and emotional connection. A well-timed joke can lower defenses and make high-stakes topics feel safer. Today, we’re diving into how humor works inside relationships, and how it can be an effective tool, when used appropriately, to enhance sexual communication. I am joined once again by Jenny Zigrino. You’ve seen her on late-night television, in film and streaming specials, and lighting up social media with bits that are bold, self-aware, and sharply observant. You can see her in the new show Crowd Control on Dropout TV and her most recent Don’t Tell Comedy special is out now. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why does humor lower sexual tension? When does humor help sexual communication, and when does it derail it? Is being funny actually sexy? What do sex and stand-up teach us about staying open instead of defensive? How can you blend humor with honest sexual communication? You can check out Jenny’s website to connect with more of her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. Why do we love who we love? Why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? In The Intimate Animal, Dr. Justin Garcia explores the science of attraction, intimacy, and love by blending cutting-edge research with real-world insight.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Talking about sex is one of the hardest things for people to do. People want to communicate about desire, boundaries, and fantasies, but the conversation can feel painfully high-stakes. And yet, in one place, sex gets discussed openly in front of strangers: the comedy club. Today, we’re exploring why sex is so funny, how comedians navigate taboo topics, and the tightrope between normalizing sex and reinforcing stigma. I am joined by Jenny Zigrino. You’ve seen her on late-night television, in film and streaming specials, and lighting up social media with bits that are bold, self-aware, and sharply observant. You can see her in the new show Crowd Control on Dropout TV and her most recent Don’t Tell Comedy special is out now. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is sex such irresistible comedy material? How can stand-up bits about sex also serve as a form of sex education? When do sex jokes normalize conversation, and when do they reinforce shame? How has talking about sex in stand-up evolved over time? You can check out Jenny’s website to connect with more of her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2607-lehmiller Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When we talk about hormones and women’s sexual health, the focus is almost always on estrogen. But testosterone also plays a key role in desire, arousal, and overall sexual well-being. Despite being labeled a “male hormone,” women produce (and need) it too. In this episode, we separate myth from fact about testosterone in women and why it remains one of the most overlooked topics in sexual medicine. I am joined once again by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB/GYN and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner. She is the CMO of EMBR Labs, a Boston-based wellness device company. Maria is also author of the new book, The Bedroom Gap, which is all about sex at midlife. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What testosterone does in women’s bodies and sex lives How levels change across the lifespan When testosterone may help menopausal symptoms Potential risks and side effects Why there’s still no FDA-approved testosterone treatment for women To learn more about Maria’s work, you can check out her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For many women, the menopause transition brings painful sex and low libido—issues that have long been endured in silence. Meanwhile, men have had access to highly effective sexual performance treatments for decades. The result is what my guest calls the bedroom gap: the widening divide in sexual expectations and capabilities between men and women in midlife. I am joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB/GYN and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner. She is the CMO of EMBR Labs, a Boston-based wellness device company. Maria is also author of the new book, The Bedroom Gap, which is all about sex at midlife. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Defining the bedroom gap The often overlooked sexual effects of menopause How Viagra widened the divide at midlife Barriers to treatment for women’s sexual health How to close the bedroom gap To learn more about Maria’s work, you can check out her website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people think about great sex, they often picture what happens at the peak (i.e., the orgasm). But what if we stopped thinking about pleasure as a single moment and, instead viewed it as a cycle? In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the three phases of the pleasure cycle–wanting, liking, and learning–and discuss how cultivating each of them can transform your sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How does connection to your own erotic self shape attraction to your partner? What happens in each phase of the pleasure cycle? How does modern life disrupt desire and dopamine? How can we leverage the power of anticipation to build more pleasure? You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people think of sexual consent as a simple yes-or-no question. But it’s rarely that clear-cut. In this episode, we unpack why consent is about more than permission, how power and context shape sexual choices, and what it means to build experiences that feel mutual, ethical, and genuinely good for everyone involved. My guest is Dr. Nicole McNichols. She is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are we getting wrong about sexual consent, and what’s missing from the way we typically define it? What does “intentional awareness” actually look like in a sexual encounter? Why does honesty about your motivations matter just as much as a verbal yes? Should pleasure be considered a core part of consent? If so, why? How can we practice consent not just as a rule to follow, but as a relational and erotic skill that makes sex better? You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that’s where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection. I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does the “Relationship Sea-Saw” explain the give-and-take of feeling loved? What does healthy self-disclosure actually look like in a relationship? How can couples sustain curiosity in long-term partnerships? How can we approach our relationships with more compassion and less scorekeeping? How can we learn to become better listeners and stop having repetitive conflicts? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you’ve ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. My guest is Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many people struggle to feel loved, even when they clearly are? How can admiration and praise actually leave us feeling lonelier? Why does believing you have to “earn” love block you from experiencing it? What happens to our mental health, relationships, and desire when we don’t feel loved? How is modern technology undermining our sense of connection? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it. I am joined once again by Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What keeps limerence going, and what do you need to understand before breaking the cycle? How do you shift into a recovery mindset? What practices help interrupt rumination? What should you look for in a therapist if you need help working through limerence? How does living more purposefully protect against limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you’re ecstatic. When they don’t, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person. My guest is Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is limerence different from lust and love? What happens in the brain during limerence? Why does uncertainty fuel romantic obsession? Is modern dating making limerence more common? What emotional needs or life circumstances make someone more vulnerable to limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that’s something technique alone can’t fix. Today, we’ll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure. I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why orgasm is more than a physical response How shame and trauma quietly shape your sex life Why “spectatoring” kills pleasure When trying to fix your partner backfires How to reconnect with your body during sex To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths. My guest is Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to treat sexual symptoms as a form of unconscious communication? Why is it important to get curious about the deeper issues behind sexual problems? If someone is experiencing “out of control” porn use, what might the deeper issue behind that be? What kind of emotional information do sexual fantasies carry? What does healing or recovery from a sexual problem actually look like? To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you want to make this year less about fixing yourself and more about understanding yourself, check out Beducated. Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2602-lehmiller  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we’re exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things. I am joined once again by Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is age play, and why are some people drawn to it? What’s the psychological appeal of pet play? Where do sensory-based kinks like balloon play come from? How can we help people think about sexual diversity in a way that’s more curious than judgmental? You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear the word “kink,” they often imagine something extreme. However, kink is actually far broader and more common than most people realize. In today’s show, we’re unpacking what kink is, what it isn’t, and why people want what they want. If you’ve ever wondered “why are people into that?”, this episode is for you. My guest is Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does the term kink really mean? Can anything be kinky? Where do kinks come from? Do kinky interests always have some deeper meaning? Why are power dynamics so commonly eroticized? What are the biggest things people get wrong about kink? You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Sex-positive” is a term that gets used a lot these days, but it doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. Sometimes it’s about sexual openness or enthusiasm, other times it’s about respect for sexual diversity, and sometimes it’s even used in coercive ways. In this episode, we explore what sex-positivity actually is, and what it isn’t. I am joined once again by Dr. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist, Company Historian, and Curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum at Good Vibrations. A noted cultural sexologist whose work has been widely published, she’s written and edited several books, including The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are the core features of sex-positivity? What are some common usages of the term that miss the mark? Why is it important to separate sex-positivity from things like sexual behavior, frequency, and identity? How can you recognize when sex-positivity is being used coercively rather than ethically? How can you apply sex-positive values in everyday life? You can click here to learn more about Dr. Carol Queen. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex shops are more than just retail spaces. In fact, they’re often where people actually learn about sex. When formal sex ed fails, sex shops step in to answer questions about bodies, pleasure, and desire. In this episode, we’re exploring how sex shops became unexpected sex educators, and what we can learn from that. My guest is Dr. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist, Company Historian, and Curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum at Good Vibrations. A noted cultural sexologist whose work has been widely published, she’s written and edited several books, including The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How did sex shops become one of the main places people actually learn about sex? How did Good Vibrations completely change what a sex shop could be? What questions are people really bringing into sex shops when they walk through the door? How do you train retail staff to be responsible sex educators — not just good salespeople? You can click here to learn more about Dr. Carol Queen. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot has changed very quickly lately, and nowhere is this more evident than in LGBTQ+ health. In just a short period of time, we’ve seen shifts in research funding, data collection, public health infrastructure, and the broader social climate, all of which have real, measurable consequences for people’s mental, physical, and sexual well-being. In today’s episode, I’m joined by two experts who study how stress, stigma, and uncertainty affect LGBTQ+ people, and what these rapid changes mean for health and resilience right now. I am joined today by Dr. Lisa Diamond and Dr. Scout. Dr. Diamond is Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah who is well-known for her pioneering research on sexual fluidity. Dr. Scout is the Executive Director of the National LGBTQI+ Cancer Network and a sought after advisor on LGBTQ+ health issues. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: What are the key changes that have happened around LGBTQ+ health and research? What do these changes mean for the broader community? How does social connection help buffer against stress? How can LGBTQ+ people, their families, and the professionals who work with them support each other right now? To take part in the OUT Community survey led by Dr. Diamond and Dr. Scout, visit bit.ly/OUTCommunitySurvey Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Holiday photo by Arthur Brognoli on Unsplash.

What can you do to build stronger, happier, and healthier relationships in the coming year? In today’s show, we’re going to explore practical resolutions for strengthening your connection, reducing conflict, and breaking out of the ruts and routines that often make relationships feel stale. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. Ashley also has a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Tips and advice for singles looking to find love in the New Year. The benefits of “slow dating.” How to rebuild and strengthen emotional connection and intimacy. How to stop having the same fight over and over again. Tips for improving relationship communication. You can check out What’s Your Position here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most New Year’s resolutions fail, but it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we’re going to explore how to set sexy goals that actually stick. Learn how to turn intention into intimacy and make this your best year yet for connection and pleasure, whether you’re in a relationship or flying solo. My guest is Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. Ashley also has a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What distinguishes resolutions that actually work from those that don’t? What are some resolutions that can improve the relationship you have with yourself? What are some good resolutions to consider for better sex with a partner? How can we resolve to make sex more of a priority in our lives? You can check out What’s Your Position here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you’re feeling hornier than usual right now, it’s not just you! The winter holidays are a time of year when sexual interest and behavior reliably increase. We see this in everything from a spike in condom sales to an increase in sexual injuries to a peak in STD rates early in the new year. So why is that? That’s what we’re going to explore in today’s episode. Some of the specific topics we’re discussing include: How (and why) does sexual behavior change with the seasons? Why is Santa such a popular sex symbol at this time of year? How do you prevent holiday stress from spoiling the mood? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Holiday photo by Arthur Brognoli on Unsplash.

Erectile dysfunction has long been treated with guesswork and one-size-fits-all solutions. But new technology is changing that by making erections measurable. In this episode, we explore the FirmTech TechRing, a wearable that tracks erection data during sleep and sex, and what insights from over 136,000 erections reveal about erectile fitness, overall health, and the future of data-driven sexual medicine. I am joined once again by Dr. Elliot Justin, the CEO and founder of FirmTech, a sextech company focused on keeping men fit and firm for a lifetime of lovemaking. He is an Emergency Medicine specialist and health care technology consultant who has spent 25 years practicing emergency medicine and directing ERs. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How is the TechRing different from a traditional penis ring? What can real-time erection data tell men about their health? How does using an erection ring compare to taking an ED medication? How can an erection ring make sex better? Check out FirmTech’s website to learn more and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Thread & Tether is a therapy practice dedicated to helping couples rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and heal after betrayal. Led by AASECT-certified sex therapist Jason Powell, the practice offers virtual sessions in multiple states and in-person intensives in Boston and Manhattan. Visit threadandtether.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What actually has to happen inside the body for an erection to occur? And what is the most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED)? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of how erections work, as well as why men sometimes struggle to get or maintain them. We’ll also unpack some common misconceptions about ED and discuss why the standard “just take a pill approach” overlooks a bigger issue. My guest is Dr. Elliot Justin, the CEO and founder of FirmTech, a sextech company focused on keeping men fit and firm for a lifetime of lovemaking. He is an Emergency Medicine specialist and healthcare technology consultant who has spent 25 years practicing emergency medicine and directing ERs. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are the biggest things people get wrong about erectile dysfunction? What is venous leak, and why is it such an under-diagnosed contributor to ED? Why do nighttime erections happen, and what do they tell us about men’s health? What’s the problem with using pills as a one-size-fits-all solution to ED? Check out FirmTech’s website to learn more and use code JUSTIN15 to save 15% off your purchase. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people think men’s sexual orientation is pretty straightforward: if you’re gay, you only sleep with men, and if you’re straight, you only sleep with women. But things aren’t always that simple. In today’s show, we’re exploring a reality that doesn’t fit the script—gay men who are out and confident in their identity, but who sometimes sleep with women. I am joined once again by Dr. Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of multiple books, including Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Fantasies. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are the main reasons why some gay men have sex with women? Why might a woman want to have sex with a gay man? Does your sexual behavior necessarily have to align with your sexual identity? Why do people sometimes engage in behaviors that don’t seem to match up with their sexual orientation? You can visit Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2550-lehmiller If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Although gay men are often seen as being pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex, their fantasy lives tell a more complex story. Like everyone else, many gay men experience shame, confusion, or conflict around their fantasies. In today’s show, we’re diving into common themes that show up in gay men’s fantasies, the psychology behind them, and how to drop the shame. My guest is Dr. Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of multiple books, including Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Fantasies. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do sexual fantasies actually mean or represent? What kinds of things are gay men likely to fantasies about? Why are taboo themes so prevalent in gay men’s fantasies? How does porn shape gay men’s fantasies? What do gay men who feel ashamed or confused about their fantasies need to know? You can visit Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People’s definitions of cheating are evolving. Infidelity isn’t just about physical betrayal anymore. It’s emotional, it’s digital, and sometimes it doesn’t even involve another human at all. In today’s show, we’re diving into the new rules of cheating. We’re also going to talk about how modern technology is making it harder than ever to keep infidelity a secret. I am joined once again by Dr. Amanda Gesselman a research scientist and head of the VIBES research team at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Digital intimacy is a major focus of her research, including how people use tools like camsites, AI companions, dating apps, and social media to navigate connection and desire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What do people today think “counts” as cheating? Is watching porn a form of infidelity? What about sexting with an AI chatbot? How many people suspect a partner has cheated on them before? What kind of detective work do people do to determine if a partner has cheated? How do we balance the benefits and challenges of digital intimacy? To learn more, you can read a brief report of this study here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Thread & Tether is a therapy practice dedicated to helping couples rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and heal after betrayal. Led by AASECT-certified sex therapist Jason Powell, the practice offers virtual sessions in multiple states and in-person intensives in Boston and Manhattan. Visit threadandtether.com to learn more. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Popular GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, Wegovy, and Zepbound aren’t just transforming weight loss. They’re also changing our intimate lives in surprising ways. In today’s show, we’re diving into results from a new national study finding that a majority of people taking one of these medications reported a change in their sex and dating lives, for better or for worse. My guest is Dr. Amanda Gesselman a research scientist and head of the VIBES research team at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Digital intimacy is a major focus of her research, including how people use tools like camsites, AI companions, dating apps, and social media to navigate connection and desire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What specific changes are people noticing in their dating lives as a result of taking one of these drugs? Why does weight loss seem to be benefiting men more than women when it comes to dating? How do GLP-1 medications affect sexual health and function? And is it different for men and women? Are people taking GLP-1 medications worried about social judgement? To learn more, you can read a brief report about the study here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do you make a non-monogamous relationship work? In today’s show, we’re diving into a brand-new study that set out to map the most common and effective relationship practices for consensually non-monogamous (CNM) people. We’re going to discuss the key strategies that help people maintain multiple partners with intention, stability, and harmony. I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Mogilski, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina Salkehatchie, where he teaches courses on human sexuality, the psychology of marriage, and evolutionary psychology. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the Multiple Relationships Maintenance Scale, and what can it tell us about how CNM relationships work? How do people in CNM relationships navigate things like jealousy, resource distribution, and hierarchy? What are people in the most successful CNM relationships doing? What can monogamous couples learn from how CNM people structure their relationships? You can click this link to read the full study discussed in this episode. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is something everyone seems to have an opinion on, but many people’s views are decidedly negative. For example, people often say things like “open relationships never work,” and “how is that any different than cheating?” In today’s show, we’re going to dive into common CNM myths and misconceptions and separate fact from fiction. My guest is Dr. Justin Mogilski, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina Salkehatchie, where he teaches courses on human sexuality, the psychology of marriage, and evolutionary psychology. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What the difference between CNM and infidelity? How is cheating within a CNM relationship similar to or different from cheating in a monogamous relationship? What are some of the logistical and emotional challenges in CNM relationships? What are some of the key components to a successful CNM relationship? How is CNM related to sexual health and safer-sex practices? You can click this link to read Dr. Mogilski’s large-scale study on consensual non-monogamy. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many parts of female sexual anatomy have long been misunderstood, but the clitoris is chief among them. Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going revisit one of my favorite conversations from the archives and talk all about the history and science of the clitoris. My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction and prosthesis. A former clinical professor at the University of California San Diego, Dr. Uloko is now the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why has it taken so long for us to gain a solid scientific understanding of the clitoris? How many nerve endings are actually in the clitoris? How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help to improve sexual health and pleasure? Is there really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms? What is the role of testosterone in clitoral health and wellness? You can visit Maria’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s November again, and that means a bunch of people on the internet are giving up masturbation for the month. While “No Nut November” is a relatively recent phenomenon, it actually has deep roots and reflects humans’ longstanding and very complicated relationship with self-pleasure. In this show, we’re talking about the history of masturbation and why people are so conflicted over it. My guest is Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Where does the idea of masturbation as sinful originate? Historically, how have religious and political figures dissuaded people from masturbating? When did masturbation start to become a public health concern? How has the rise of social media coincided with the rise of negative views of masturbation? You can visit Eric’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Think back to your sex education for a moment. Were you advised to “save yourself for marriage?” Were you asked to sign a “purity” pledge? For millions of people, that was their experience. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at abstinence pledges, including how they became so widespread, whether they actually work as intended, and the unseen consequences they leave behind. I am joined once again by Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does a typical abstinence pledge look like? How common are abstinence pledges today? Do abstinence pledges actually delay sexual activity? How might abstinence pledges make people less prepared for sex and relationships? What happens when people “break” their pledge? You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For a lot of people who grew up in religious or conservative environments, they learned to fear sex and/or feel ashamed of. Purity culture teaches folks that their personal value is tied to their sexual choices: “good” people wait to have sex, while “bad” people don’t. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it’s like to grow up in purity culture, how to move past it, and whether it’s possible to still hold onto your faith while letting go of purity culture. My guest is Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does purity culture shape attitudes toward sex, desire, and one’s own body? What are some ways to work through the shame that people often feel due to purity culture? How can you begin exploring your sexuality when you still have some internal conflicts about it? Is it possible to remain religious without adopting the sexual shame that often comes with it? You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you and ruin partnered sex forever? That sex toys are just for women, singles, or kinky folks? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life or relationship? These are common beliefs, but they’re not grounded in reality. So let’s set the record straight. My guest is Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: What do you need to know if you’re worried about becoming too “dependent” on sex toys? How can people introduce sex toys into partnered sex without stoking insecurity? Are sex toys just for women and single people? What are some beginner-friendly sex toys worth considering? What should you do if you try a toy and find that it doesn’t seem to do much for you? Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.*** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A sex toy is so much more than just a fun gadget. Toys can help us to explore our bodies, rekindle the connection in a relationship, improve sexual communication, and more. In this episode, we’re going behind the scenes of how sex toys are designed and developed. We’re also going to talk about what makes a toy truly great, as well as how to tell which toys are worth your money and which ones aren’t. I am joined by Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: What does it mean to view sex toys as experiences rather than products? What all goes into designing and developing a new sex toy? How can you tell the good sex toys from the bad? In what ways can sex toys help us to improve our sex lives? Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 65% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER69 as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2546-lehmiller  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From sayings like “freak in the head, freak in the bed” to the hot/crazy matrix to memes about “daddy issues,” the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true? In this episode, we’re breaking down some of the biggest myths about sex and relationships that dominate social media. I am joined once again by Joe Nucci, a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and social media influencer. His debut book, Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truth To Set You Free, is available wherever books are sold. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why are people with psychopathic characteristics often rated as more attractive? How are mental health conditions associated with sex drive and sexual behavior? Are people with “daddy issues” more eager to please in bed? Will therapy make you ready for a relationship? You can check out Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Social media has turned therapy into a language that almost everyone seems to speak these days, which is why your feed is probably full of posts about topics like trauma, boundaries, and gaslighting. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at the rise of “therapy speak” and how, for better or for worse, it’s reshaping the way we talk about emotions, conflict, and relationships. I am joined by Joe Nucci, a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and social media influencer. His debut book, Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truth To Set You Free, is available wherever books are sold. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What are some of the problems with overusing therapy speak? How is social media changing the way people think about and approach relationships? What does the term “love-bombing” actually mean? How do you know the difference between something like love-bombing and just moving fast in a relationship? You can check out Joe’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

All too often, survivors of sexual violence are treated as though they’re permanently broken. However, healing and recovery are possible. My guest today has written a new book that explores how survivors reclaim sex, intimacy, and desire after assault. It’s unlike most other books on trauma because it dares to ask not just how people survive, but also how they thrive again. I am joined by Katie Simon (they/them), a sexuality journalist and author of Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault. Their writing has previously appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, Vogue, The Washington Post, Playboy, and Women’s Health. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the role of self-exploration in navigating sex and intimacy after sexual assault? What are some practical things that can potentially help survivors of sexual assault? What does the concept of post-traumatic growth look like in practice? How can helping professionals become better-equipped to serve survivors? You can visit Katie’s website to learn more about their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to sex, we often think about safety and pleasure as being at odds with one another. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we’re talking about some new Kinsey Institute research looking at people’s experiences with Lorals for Protection, a product designed to offer both protection and pleasure during oral sex. I am joined by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She is editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research and conducts research on a number of important sexual health topics. Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include: Why do discussions about safer sex almost always leave oral sex out of the equation? Oral sex is often thought of as a low- or no-risk activity, but is that really the case? How come dental dams never really caught on? How does Lorals offer something different compared to other barrier methods? How can we help people to maximize both pleasure and safety during sexual activity? The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2542-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people in long-term relationships think their sex life could be better. So what can you do if you and your partner don’t really seem to be in synch anymore when it comes to sex? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to respark your sexual connection. We’ll also dive into the topic of sexual initiation, including how we can learn to initiate in ways that are actually going to stimulate desire in our partners. I am joined once again by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy, an AASECT-certified sex therapist who helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection. She is also author of the new book Parents in Love: A Great Guide to Sex After Kids. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is sensate focus, and how can it be a beneficial practice in relationships? How can we get better at initiating sex? What are some ways for us to learn more about our own desires? Why is it important to expand our definition of sex and bring more creativity into the bedroom? You can visit Rebecca’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Becoming a parent changes everything in your life, including your sex life. It’s common for new parents to struggle with desire, let alone finding time for intimacy. So what can parents do to get things back on track? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how parenthood changes sex and tips for reigniting intimacy. My guest is Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy, an AASECT-certified sex therapist who helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection. She is also author of the new book Parents in Love: A Great Guide to Sex After Kids. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is parenting more stressful than ever? And what does this mean for parents’ intimate lives? How can you make your relationship a priority when it feels like everything is overwhelming? How can parents’ attachment styles exacerbate disconnection and conflict? What are some of the different issues parents face when it comes to having younger versus older children? You can visit Rebecca’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Even in the happiest relationships, people don’t always share their fantasies and desires. And sometimes that’s because people are worried about rocking the boat. For example, what if you share a fantasy your partner isn’t into and it reveals an incompatibility? In this episode, we’re going to explore the factors that predict people’s willingness to open up about their fantasies, and why we sometimes decide to keep them to ourselves. I am joined once again by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the most common sexual fantasies people have? Which fantasies are people most likely to tell their partners about, and why? How is being in a relationship characterized by high levels of sexual novelty linked to sharing fantasies? How is the length of a relationship related to whether people share their fantasies? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure. I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners? What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy? Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret? Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared? When is sharing your fantasies a good idea? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie’s latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle? What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle? What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument? What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place? How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in? You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Oral sex is one of the most popular bedroom activities. However, while most people say that it can be highly pleasurable, it doesn’t always feels great. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to make oral sex better. Specifically, we’ll explore tips and techniques from the Pleasure Mechanics for being both a good giver and receiver, including what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex. I am joined by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect “recipe” for oral sex a myth? How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, like boredom or discomfort? What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate oral experiences? What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love doing? What are the key factors that make oral sex great? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Historically, medical research has done a disservice to women. In fact, for many years, scientists only studied men, assuming that all effects would generalize to women. But we now know that’s not true. In today’s show, we’re talking about how we can improve the state of science on women’s health, and how that begins with having a fuller understanding of the hormone shifts that occur during the menstrual cycle and how they affect women’s brains and bodies. I am joined once again by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the problem with one-size-fits-all medical advice? How does the concept of PMS pathologize natural things that happen to women’s bodies? What’s the problem with using the male body as the “standard” in scientific research? What’s wrong with the way scientists typically treat the menstrual cycle in studies of women? How can we do research that actually serves women? You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It is well-known that PMS symptoms can deeply affect how women are feeling, including their mood, pain, and energy levels. But why exactly does this happen? Today, we’re going to dive into the science of sex hormones and the menstrual cycle, including how hormone levels affect women’s sexual motivation and tips for navigating sex at different phases of the cycle. I am joined by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the deal with PMS? Why did women evolve to feel like crap for half of the menstrual cycle? How do the rise and fall of different hormones during the cycle affect women’s brains? Progesterone is a hormone that’s supposed to make us feel good. So why doesn’t it have that effect during the second half of the menstrual cycle? How do estrogen and progesterone affect sexual motivation and desire? You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Holistic sexuality involves having a deep enough level of self-understanding that you can make choices that are aligned with your core needs and feel empowered to live out those choices in your own life. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about harnessing holistic sexuality in order to lead a more pleasure-filled life and be more in tune with our desires. I’m joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.  Some of the specific topics we explore include: How can we have a healthier relationship with our own sexual pleasure? How do we make pleasure a priority in everyday life? What are some practical ways to reawaken sexual desire? How can we begin to identify what we really do and don’t want when it comes to sex? How can we get better at both saying “no” and hearing “no” in the bedroom? You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Who are you as a sexual person? In today’s show, we’re going to help you answer this question by introducing you to the concept of holistic sexuality, which is different from the way that most of us have been taught to think about sex. We’re going to dive into some of the key facets of holistic sexuality that are crucial to know for both self-understanding and for building up your sexual agency. I’m joined by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.  Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the benefits of looking at sex more holistically? Why is the idea of “sensuality” so crucial to our sexuality? How do we begin to awake our sensuality to learn more about our own sexual style? What is the importance of really understanding our own bodies when it comes to enhancing sexual wellbeing? What are some ways to get more comfortable with our own bodies? You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that sex is just easy for men. But it’s not. A heck of a lot of guys are walking around with sexual anxiety and are worried about their body and/or performance. This can eat away at men’s confidence, leading them to avoid sex, or to have sex that’s less than pleasurable. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to build confidence in the bedroom and bust some common myths about male sexuality. I’m joined once again by Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine. He is a Sexual Health Advisor to Astroglide Lubricants, and one of the co-founders of the sexual wellness brand Popstar, which creates science-backed products to support male sexual health and pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it really men to be “sexually confident?” How do popular myths about male sexuality inhibit men’s confidence in the bedroom? Is more testosterone really the key to more confidence? What can men do if they want to increase their sexual stamina? When should you see a professional about sexual performance concerns? You can visit Joshua’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Surveys find that nearly half of men are dissatisfied with their penis size and wish they were larger. So let’s dive into the world of penile augmentation. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the various treatments that exist, which ones are supported by the science, the potential risks and side effects, and what you really need to know if you have penis size concerns. I’m joined by Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine. He is a Sexual Health Advisor to Astroglide Lubricants, and one of the co-founders of the sexual wellness brand Popstar, which creates science-backed products to support male sexual health and pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is the average penis size anyway? Can stretching make your penis bigger? Do penis pumps work to increase size? Are surgeries to enhance penis size worth the risks? Are there any pills or medications that can make your penis larger? You can visit Joshua’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

BDSM practitioners have mastered skills that many of us struggle with every day, including honest communication, clear boundaries, deep trust, and the courage to be vulnerable. In this episode, we’re exploring what we can learn from kinky folks about leading happier lives, both in and out of the bedroom. I am joined once again by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How does BDSM offer a way for people to explore their creative side? What can we learn from BDSM practitioners about vulnerability and intimacy? How can BDSM allow us to explore pleasure beyond traditional sexual scripts? What can we learn from kinky folks about having realistic expectations in the bedroom? You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Is kink just about whips and chains? Is it always about sex? Is everyone who’s into kink working through some type of trauma? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of BDSM and debunking common myths about it. We’ll unpack what kink really looks like in practice, how consent and trust are at its core, and what it is that really draws people to BDSM in the first place. I am joined by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected lessons for building a happier life. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are some of the biggest things people get wrong about kink and BDSM? What might people get out of BDSM besides (or in addition to) sexual fulfillment? How do people typically find their way into BDSM? What’s the role of community in BDSM? Why is kink more prevalent in among LGBTQ+ persons? You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The sex education we have in the United States today isn’t really working. And, unfortunately, it’s only set to get worse as a growing number of states are pushing to restrict what students can learn in these classes. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about why it has been so difficult to make sex ed better and what we can actually do to change it. I’m joined once again by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many US states today require that students receive sex education? Why don’t we have a federal mandate for sex ed in the US? What can we do to improve sex ed in our own communities? What can we learn from other countries that are getting sex ed right? Why do we need to stop thinking about sex education as a one-time talk or course? You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please r

Sex education is highly controversial. Last year alone, 27 US states introduced bills aimed at restricting sex ed! However, this fight over what sex ed should cover (and whether it should even be taught at all) is nothing new. We’ve been having the same fights about sex ed for over a century, and that’s a big part of the reason why modern sex education still sucks. I’m joined today by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do we keep having the same arguments about sex ed? What really holding sex education back? How did abstinence become such a dominant part of sex education in the US? Does abstinence education actually work as intended? Why is it so hard to access comprehensive sex education when it’s what most parents say they want? You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why are some people straight while others are gay or bisexual? What determines our sexual orientation anyway? Today, we’re going to be diving into what we’ve learned about the biological origins of our sexuality from decades of scientific research. As you’ll see, there’s not a simple and easy story—it doesn’t boil down to something like a “gay gene.” It’s way more complex than that! I am joined once again by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is same-sex attraction genetic? How can two people who share 100% of the same DNA have different sexual orientations? When researchers are studying sexual orientation, should they be looking at attraction, identity, behavior, or all of the above? Why is having more older brothers linked to greater odds of homosexuality in men? What other biological factors are associated with sexual orientation? You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds of reproductive success and genetic diversity in our species. So which is it? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I am joined by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the difference between social monogamy and sexual monogamy? How common are social and sexual monogamy in both humans and animals, and how often do they overlap? Can research on other primates shed light on how human mating strategies evolved? Can someone’s brain chemistry predispose them to being monogamous or non-monogamous? You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Erectile dysfunction is one of the most common sexual difficulties that men encounter, and it can be very distressing. But while ED is highly treatable, we really need to understand what causes it in the first place in order to treat it most effectively. In today’s show, we’re going to explore some of the psychological reasons why it occurs, including how early attachment wounds can manifest as erectile difficulties later in life. I am joined once again by Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Does porn cause erectile difficulties? How can insecure relationship dynamics play a role in erectile difficulties? How does early attachment trauma affect sexual function during adulthood? Where does performance pressure come from and how does it affect erectile function? What are some of the benefits of sex therapy for ED? You can check out Nazanin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, almost everyone will go through a sexual dry spell at some point. This is normal, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or your relationship. However, the good news is that there’s a lot you can do to break the dry spell and get your intimate life back on track. Today, we’re going to explore the reasons why sex often disappears in relationships, and what you can do about it. I am joined by Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many people are in sexless relationships? What questions should we be asking when we find ourselves in a sexual dry spell? How can you bring erotic tension back into your relationship? What are ways to bring a sense of mystery and play back into sex? How can we reinvent our date nights in a way that’s going to cultivate more erotic energy and excitement? You can check out Nazanin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As many as 1 in 5 adults have visited an erotic camsite. However, the appeal of these sites goes far beyond sexual gratification. A new study of camsite users finds that they are often looking for emotional connection and fulfillment, too. But are they actually finding it? In today’s show, we’re diving into the data and exploring whether intimacy is really an experience that can be commodified. I’m joined once again by Ellen Kaufman, a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is a camsite different from a traditional porn site? Who are the primary visitors of camsites? To what extent do users feel emotional bonds with cam models? Can we develop authentic intimacy in a transactional setting? You can check out the website for the VIBES research team to learn more about Ellen’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Everyone is talking about how artificial intelligence (AI) is going to fundamentally change almost every aspect of our lives, and that includes our intimate lives. So in today’s show, we’re going to explore the impact that AI is already having on the world of dating and relationships and whether it’s helping or hurting our chances of finding lasting love. I am joined by Ellen Kaufman, a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many singles are currently using AI to boost their dating odds? In what ways are people using AI to help them date? Is AI going to ruin dating or make it better? How many people have sought an AI romantic companion? What’s the appeal of an AI companion? Can AI actually provide emotional fulfillment? You can check out the website for the VIBES research team to learn more about Ellen’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost by VB Health. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. A bad mattress can be bad for your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of the advice we hear about setting boundaries is just plain wrong. So in today’s show, we’re going to explore what you need to know about setting healthy boundaries. We’re also going to discuss why boundaries aren’t just important in our romantic and sexual relationships, but in all of the other relationships we have in our lives, too. I am joined once again by KC Davis, the bestselling author of How to Keep House While Drowning. A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular Struggle Care website and Instagram, and the Domestic Blisters TikTok. Her latest book is titled Who Deserves Your Love: How To Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What do people often get wrong about setting boundaries? How can you establish and communicate about your boundaries more effectively? How do we navigate feelings of hurt when it comes to boundary setting? What’s the problem with being a people-pleaser? How can we maintain boundaried relationships with someone who’s underfunctioning? You can check out KC’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Are good relationships supposed to be easy or hard? Is codependency inherently bad? Do you really need to love yourself before you can accept love from others? In today’s show, we’re talking about common things that people get wrong about romantic relationships. I am joined by KC Davis, the bestselling author of How to Keep House While Drowning. A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular Struggle Care website and Instagram, and the Domestic Blisters TikTok. Her latest book is titled Who Deserves Your Love: How To Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do we need to think differently about codependency? Are romantic relationships really more valuable than non-romantic ones? How do we walk the tightrope of not demanding too much, but not asking for too little in our relationships? In relationships, how can you tell the difference between screw-ups, mistreatment, and abuse? Why do people often take good relationship advice and apply it incorrectly? You can check out KC’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In today’s show, we’re exploring how kink and BDSM can potentially be therapeutic to persons with ADHD. Research finds that kink can help provide a supportive dynamic to people with ADHD through addressing sensory integration needs and cultivating an environment that reduces distractions and enhances attentional focus. I am joined once again by Dr. Leann Borneman, a licensed clinical social worker, AASECT certified sex therapist, professor, and clinical sexology researcher. She specializes in the intersection of ADHD, relationships, and sexuality. Leann runs the podcast ADHD Realities and is currently writing a book on ADHD and low sexual desire. Some of the specific topics we explore include: In what ways can kink enhance sex for persons with ADHD? How can BDSM help people who might have sensory sensitivities? In what ways can scene negotiation help people with ADHD in terms of attention management? Why is there a link between neurodivergence and kinky interests more broadly? What can all of us learn from kinksters in terms of having better sex? You can check out Leann’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  Join leading researchers and experts for insightful presentations and discussions on the evolving landscape of sex and aging at the Kinsey Institute Sex and Aging Symposium on October 4. Both online and in-person attendance options are available.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How does ADHD affect women’s sexual and romantic relationships? In this episode, we’ll explore some of the most common issues that come up in the bedroom for women with ADHD, the problem with only relying on medication to help, as well as what women with ADHD and their partners need to know about cultivating supportive environments that are more conducive to pleasure. I am joined by Dr. Leann Borneman, a licensed clinical social worker, AASECT certified sex therapist, professor, and clinical sexology researcher. She specializes in the intersection of ADHD, relationships, and sexuality. Leann runs the podcast ADHD Realities and is currently writing a book on ADHD and low sexual desire. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common is it for women to have ADHD? Why is ADHD typically diagnosed so much later in women than men? What are the most common sex problems that women with ADHD experience? What is “executive dysfunction” and how does it contribute to low desire? What are some ways women with ADHD can approach sex so that it works with their brains, and not against them? You can check out Leann’s website to learn more about her. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/july-justin Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Let’s talk about dick pics. A lot of guys send these without even asking. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the data and explore how many men have ever sent an unsolicited dick pic and why, how these photos are perceived by recipients, as well as what you need to know about sexting if you really want to connect with someone. My guests today are Dr. Cory Pederson and Amanda Champion. Cory is the Lab Director and Principal Investigator of the ORGASM Lab. She also teaches human sexuality courses at Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU). Amanda is a doctoral student in the school of criminology at Simon Fraser University and a faculty member in the Department of Psychology at KPU. Cory and Amanda have studied the science of dick pics and are going to be discussing the details of a new study they completed in collaboration with MANSCAPED®. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many people have ever received an unsolicited dick pic? What kind of reaction are people who send unsolicited dick pics hoping for? What platforms are men typically sending these photos on? How often are these photos perceived positively versus negatively? If you’re thinking about sending a dick pic to someone, what do you need to know? You can check out the work of the ORGASM Lab on their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The view that porn is inherently harmful seems to be growing. Porn is increasingly described as “addictive” and as a threat to public health. But is this actually true? In today’s show, we’re revisiting an important conversation from the archives in which we explore the truth about how porn affects people. My guest is Dr. Nicole Prause, a licensed psychologist and sex researcher who founded the sexual biotechnology company Liberos. She is a former Kinsey Institute trainee and has published an extensive body of research on the neuroscience and psychophysiology of sex. She is currently a scientist at the University of California, Los Angeles in the Department of Medicine. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: What counts as porn? And how do you measure porn use on surveys when different people have different definitions of it? Why are there so many discrepant findings about pornography’s effects in the research? Why shouldn’t we think of porn as addictive? How should we think about it instead? When people identify porn as a problem in their lives, is porn per se really the issue or is there usually something else going on? In what ways can porn potentially have positive effects on people? Learn more about Nicole by following her at @NicoleRPrause over on X and or Bluesky. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we began a fascinating conversation about the long history of human interest in kink and BDSM. Today, we’re diving deeper into the subject and discussing how major cultural events have played a role in shaping kinky interests. We’re also going to talk about how kink and BDSM have been portrayed in the media and some of the controversies around how it has been presented. I am joined once again by author, historian, and journalist Peter Tupper. He runs the History of BDSM blog and wrote the book A Lover’s Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How did WWII influence BDSM practices and communities? What’s the historical connection between BDSM and fascist politics? How are kink and BDSM represented in popular media? How do we balance making representations of minority sexualities accessible without over-relying on stereotypes? You can check out Peter’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the scene, it seems as though kink and BDSM have become ubiquitous in popular media. But here’s the thing: just because kink went mainstream in the last decade or so doesn’t mean that it’s new. In fact, the roots of BDSM trace back centuries. And the history behind it is fascinating, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I am joined by author, historian, and journalist Peter Tupper. He runs the History of BDSM blog and wrote the book A Lover’s Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How far back in human history does interest in BDSM go? When we look back through history, how do we know whether something actually reflects BDSM as we know it today? What is the role of religion in the history of BDSM? Where did the term “sadomasochism” come from? How have views on BDSM changed over time? You can check out Peter’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/july-justin Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Men’s sexuality is often described as being pretty simple. Sex is seen as being easy for guys because they’re always in the mood and sex is just a physical thing for them. The reality of male sexuality, however, is far more complicated, and we’re not doing anyone any favors by oversimplifying it. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into common myths about male sexuality. In today’s show, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations from the archives, my interview with Cam Fraser which originally aired in episode 255.  Cam is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where did this idea that men are “simple” and women are “complex” when it comes to sex come from? How do attractiveness standards affect men when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships? What do men who are anxious about their penis size need to know? Are men always supposed to be aroused and ready for sex? To what degree is sex emotional vs. physical for men? You can check out Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One in five couples report that porn has become a problem in their relationship. So why is porn such a common source of conflict, and what can we do about it? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people in relationships use porn, what fights about porn are really about, as well as how to resolve issues with porn in relationships. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do so many couples fight about porn? Are fights about porn a symptom of a deeper issue? Why is porn mostly an issue heterosexual, monogamous relationships but not so much in queer and non-monogamous relationships? How can we use porn in healthy ways in relationships? How can you have more productive conversations about porn with your partner? You can learn more about Ashley and check out What’s your Position here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/july-justin Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How many people have you had sex with? In other words, what’s your “body count?” In this episode, we’re going to dive into the data. We’ll discuss the average number of sexual partners people report having, why men consistently report higher body counts than women, as well as why people seem to place so much emphasis on body count in the first place. I am joined by Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is there a better phrase than “body count” that we can use when referring to the number of partners we’ve had? What’s the average body count among adults today, and how has it changed over time? How does body count differ across gender? What are people really asking when they inquire about body count? Does body count actually tell you anything about someone else’s sexual health or competence? You can follow Ashley and check out What’s your Position here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-june  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

You’ve probably heard the phrase before that “nice guys finish last.” But is there any truth to it? That’s what we’re talking about in today’s show. We’re going to discuss how being overly agreeable has the potential to diminish sex appeal, while also interfering with one’s own sexual pleasure. As my guest today likes to say, nice guys need to learn how to say no sometimes. I am joined once again by Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach specializing in helping men overcome sexual difficulties. With over 150MM views on YouTube and nearly a million subscribers, she has become a leading voice in the field. Her TV show, Good Sex, is available for streaming now on Discovery+ and Max. Some of the topics we explore include: What does being a “nice guy” actually mean? Do nice guys really finish last when it comes to sex and dating? How do you walk the line between being confident and assertive in the bedroom without venturing into entitlement? How can men start to embrace their sexual desires more authentically? You can check out Caitlin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you want to get better at sex, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how men can become better lovers, including how to build sexual confidence, how to deal with performance pressure, as well as tips and tricks for improving your sexual technique. My guest today is Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach specializing in helping men overcome sexual difficulties. With over 150MM views on YouTube and nearly a million subscribers, she has become a leading voice in the field. Her TV show, Good Sex, is available for streaming now on Discovery+ and Max. Some of the topics we explore include: What are some things men can do to cultivate their sexual confidence? How can men focus more on pleasure instead of getting fixated on performance? How can changing up your masturbation routine help when it comes to having better partnered sex? What are some ways you can get better at using your hands during sex? You can check out Caitlin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray, as well as their Volume + Taste Enhancer. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Slut” is a powerful term that has historically been used as an indictment of women’s moral character. And as my guest today explains, as long as terms like this retain their power, we’re never going to have true gender equality in the bedroom. She argues that it’s well past time to reclaim the word slut once and for all, so let’s talk about it. I am joined once again by Dr. Hilary Caldwell, a sex worker, author, academic, and sexologist. Her bold political memoir, Slutdom: Reclaiming Shame-Free Sexuality, challenges the enduring impact of slut shaming and argues for a world in which everyone can pursue pleasure without fear, stigma, or coercion. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it mean to reclaim the world “slut,” and why is it important? Why is reclaiming sexual slurs controversial? What does it really mean to be sexually empowered? How can we become more sexually empowered? You can check out Hilary’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-june  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s a surprising amount of anti-masturbation content on social media, much of it suggesting that masturbation is bad for your health. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into whether abstaining from masturbation actually boosts testosterone, whether you can really become “addicted” to masturbating, what science says about the purported health benefits of semen retention, and more. In this episode, we’re revisiting a conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle, which originally aired back in episode 275. Dr. Sprankle is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, as well as author of the book, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why is the concept of semen retention increasingly popular? Are there any health benefits to abstaining from ejaculation? Is an orgasm obtained from self-pleasure really any different from an orgasm obtained through partnered sex? Can women become “addicted” to their vibrators? Is there an objective standard for what constitutes “too much” masturbation? You can check out Eric’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Boost your sexual confidence and performance with Popstar Delay Spray. Save 20% off your first order by using “Justin” as the discount code at popstarlabs.com/justin.  I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Men are much more likely to report having paid for sex than women; however, there are probably more women paying for sex than we think. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of women who pay for sex. We’ll be exploring what their experiences are like, why some women see paying for sex as being safer than having casual sex, and more. My guest is Dr. Hilary Caldwell, a sex worker, author, academic, and sexologist. Her bold political memoir, Slutdom: Reclaiming Shame-Free Sexuality, challenges the enduring impact of slut shaming and argues for a world in which everyone can pursue pleasure without fear, stigma, or coercion. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why is there less research on women who pay for sexual services relative to men? How common is it for women to have paid for sex before? Why do some women who patronize sex workers don’t consider themselves to have bought sex? What are some of the main motivations for women to purchase sexual services? What are women’s experiences with purchasing sex like? Do they tend to feel stigmatized? You can check out Hilary’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-june  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine you just met an attractive stranger and want to strike up a conversation. What are you going to say? More often than not, people play it safe and stick to small talk, but that makes it hard to really connect with someone. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss tips for moving beyond the small talk and establishing deeper, more authentic connections, as well as tips for improving sexual communication. I am joined once again by Lindsay Jill Roth, an award-winning television and live-events producer who has created and developed a wide variety of programming globally. She is also author of the new book Romances & Practicalities, which is based on a set of 250 research-backed questions designed to help you initiate tricky conversations and find lasting love. Some of the topics we explore include: What are we doing wrong when it comes to getting to know others? How can we ask more meaningful questions to people we’re romantically interested in? What are some other good conversation starters for getting to know someone? How do you normalize conversations about sex with a new partner? How can talking about sex outside of the bedroom help us in the bedroom? You can check out Lindsay’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The way that many of us are approaching romantic relationships is all wrong. We’re not prioritizing the things that really matter when selecting our partners. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the conversations you need to be having with a potential partner in order to develop deeper connections and establish long-term compatibility. My guest is Lindsay Jill Roth, an award-winning television and live-events producer who has created and developed a wide variety of programming globally. She is also author of the new book Romances & Practicalities, which is based on a set of 250 research-backed questions designed to help you initiate tricky conversations and find lasting love. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are we doing wrong when it comes to selecting relationship partners? How can being more pragmatic in your approach to relationships help to build a stronger foundation for love? Why is money management a vital issue to discuss with a potential partner? Beyond finances, what are some other key topics we should be discussing? How do you initiate conversations about topics that many people are uncomfortable discussing? You can check out Lindsay’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-june  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In today’s show, we’re talking about a new way of treating women’s most common sexual problems. My guest co-developed an online sexual health platform called eSense that’s designed to bring evidence-based treatment for low sexual desire and arousal to the masses at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. It could very well be a game-changer in the way we treat sex problems. I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a Registered Psychologist, and Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health. She is also author of the book Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and how can it help in treating problems with desire and arousal? How can mindfulness-based therapy be useful in cases of low sexual desire? How does the eSense platform leverage both CBT and mindfulness training to treat sexual difficulties? How effective is therapy administered online compared to things like face-to-face therapy and pharmaceuticals? How will technologies like artificial intelligence and virtual reality change sex therapy in the future? You can check out Lori’s website to learn more about her work, and you can learn more about eSense at esense.health. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The most common sexual problems that women experience center around low sexual desire and/or difficulty becoming aroused, formally known as female sexual interest/arousal disorder. In today’s show, we’re doing a deep dive into what this disorder looks like, where it comes from, and why it seems so hard for women to access treatment for it. I am joined by Dr. Lori Brotto, an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a Registered Psychologist, and Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health. She is also author of the book Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is “female sexual interest/arousal disorder?” How is it clinically defined? How common is this disorder? What do we know about its causes? Is it physical, psychological, or a bit of both? Why does it take an average of 5 years for women to access treatment for sexual desire and arousal problems? Why is it so hard to develop drugs and medications that stimulate sexual desire? You can check out Lori’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-may  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The number of adult virgins is growing and is actually at a record high. Many of these folks would like to be having sex, but cannot find a partner. In other words, they are involuntarily celibate, or “incels” for short. So what do we know about these individuals? A deeper look at the psychology of incels reveals a group that is struggling with complex mental health issues. In today’s episode, we’re revising my conversation with William Costello, which originally aired back in episode 133. This conversation will probably surprise you because it turns out that incels aren’t exactly who we think they are. Incels aren’t new either—they’ve actually always been around, but changes in the modern dating market seem to be creating a lot of more of them. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why incels have always been around, and how modern incels are different. Why the incel population is growing. Why popular dating advice given to incels isn’t helpful. What the mental health of incels looks like. Whether incels are inherently prone to violence and misogyny. You can check out William’s body of research on ResearchGate. You can also read his latest paper on incels here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you want to maintain your sexual function and wellbeing, it’s important to pay attention to your pelvic floor! In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to keep your pelvic floor in shape and resolve common problems with it. It turns out that optimizing your pelvic floor can help with a wide range of issues, from dealing with painful sex to having more (and better) orgasms. I am joined once again by Sara Reardon, a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist and founder of The V-Hive, an online, on-demand pelvic floor fitness platform. She is author of the new book FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know whether Kegel exercises are right for you, and how do you do them correctly? Why is learning pelvic floor relaxation just as important as strengthening? What are some things we can do in everyday life to improve pelvic health? How can pelvic floor training help relieve sexual pain? What are some of the other benefits of pelvic floor training? You can check our Sara’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The pelvic floor is a really important set of muscles that plays a big role in sexual and reproductive function. However, most people don’t know much about it, including common signs that they might have a problem. In today’s show, I am joined by the “Vagina Whisperer” to discuss what you need to know about the pelvic floor I am joined by Sara Reardon, a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist and founder of The V-Hive, an online, on-demand pelvic floor fitness platform. She is author of the new book FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What exactly is the pelvic floor, and what are the main functions of it? How common are pelvic floor problems? What are some of the most common signs that you might have a pelvic floor issue? Why so do many medical professionals seem unprepared to help with pelvic floor issues? What happens when pelvic floor issues go untreated long-term? You can check our Sara’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-may  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When women have sex with men, there’s an orgasm gap. However, this gap disappears when women have sex with other women. So why is that? In today’s show, we’re diving into some new research finding that women anticipate sex is going to follow a very different script based on the gender of their partner. It turns out that those scripts have big implications for their odds of orgasm. I am joined once again by Carly Wolfer, a sex researcher, relationship scientist, and health educator whose work explores how to create more equitable and pleasurable sexual experiences. She’s currently working on her Ph.D. in Social Psychology at The CUNY Graduate Center. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do women have more orgasms when they engage sexually with other women? In what ways do women’s sexual expectations change when they have sex with women vs. men? How can we mold our sexual scripts to support more equitable pleasure for women? How can we change sex education to better support women’s pleasure? You can connect with Carly on LinkedIn to follow her updates. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In heterosexual relationships, women don’t orgasm as frequently or consistently as men. So why is that? As we’ll explore in today’s show, it’s because there’s an “orgasm pursuit gap.” Sexual scripts lead women to pursue their own orgasms less than men, and to perceive less support from their partners for their own pleasure. My guest is Carly Wolfer, a sex researcher, relationship scientist, and health educator whose work explores how to create more equitable and pleasurable sexual experiences. She’s currently working on her Ph.D. in Social Psychology at The CUNY Graduate Center. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s wrong with the current way we think about the orgasm gap? Why do women pursue their own orgasms less than men? What does healthy pursuit of orgasm look like? How can you get your partner to support your pleasure? How do we close the orgasm gap? You can connect with Carly on LinkedIn to follow her updates. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-may  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like you and your partner were slipping into the roles of parent and child? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss common signs that you might be in a parentified relationship. We’re also going to discuss how parentification impacts sexual and relationship quality, as well as how to break this pattern. I am joined once again by Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. She is the founder of Modern Intimacy, a counseling practice that operates in Los Angeles, Miami, and Chicago. She is author of the new book What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist’s Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know if you’re in a parentified relationship? What are some common relationship dynamics that contribute to parentification? How do early childhood experiences affect the relationship roles we take on? How does parentification contribute to relationship stress and burnout? Is it possible to change a parentified dynamic, or to prevent it from taking hold in the first place? You can check out the Modern Intimacy website to learn more about Kate’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

At some point, almost everyone in a long-term relationship is going to wonder, “What happened to my sex life?” Where did the initial passion and excitement go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore why desire, pleasure, and connection often decline in relationships, as well as how you can get it back. I am joined by Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. She is the founder of Modern Intimacy, a counseling practice that operates in Los Angeles, Miami, and Chicago. She is author of the new book What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist’s Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Does a loss of passion necessarily mean there’s something wrong in your relationship? What can you do if you feel like you and your partner have become roommates instead of lovers? How can being too close to your partner hurt desire? How can addressing anger and resentment in healthy ways open the door to more desire? What do you need to know about moving past trauma and opening yourself up to pleasure again? You can check out the Modern Intimacy website to learn more about Kate’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-may  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the last episode, we talked about patients who fall in love with their therapists. Today, we’re taking about the flip side of things: when therapists develop sexual and/or romantic feelings toward their patients, a phenomenon known as erotic countertransference. Research suggests that this is surprisingly common, so we’re going to discuss why it happens and what to do in situations like this. I am joined once again by Alison McCleary and Jordan Pickell. Alison and Jordan are both Registered Clinical Counsellors and podcasters. Together, they co-host the Edge of the Couch podcast, which provides a space to have conversations about what it is actually like to be a therapist, including the conversations that are regularly missed during training programs. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does the term erotic countertransference really mean? What is the psychology behind why therapists sometimes develop feelings for their patients? How common is it for therapists to become attracted to their patients? Why is the subject of erotic countertransference avoided in many therapy training programs? Is it ever ethically acceptable for a therapist and client to have sex or start a romantic relationship? You can check out the Edge of the Couch podcast to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-april Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s surprisingly common for people in psychotherapy to develop sexual and/or romantic feelings for their therapists. This is a phenomenon known as erotic transference. It’s a form of projection that psychologists have recognized since the days of Freud. On today’s show, we’re going to explore the complex psychology behind why this phenomenon happens and what it really means. I am joined today by Alison McCleary and Jordan Pickell. Alison and Jordan are both Registered Clinical Counsellors and podcasters. Together, they co-host the Edge of the Couch podcast, which provides a space to have conversations about what it is actually like to be a therapist, including the conversations that are regularly missed during training programs. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does erotic transference look like for patients who are experiencing it? Why does erotic transference happen in the first place? How common is erotic transference? Should patients who experience erotic transference tell their therapists about it? If so, how? How should a therapist respond if a client discloses sexual and/or romantic attraction? You can check out the Edge of the Couch podcast to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A few years back, there were a ton of media articles going around about how the pandemic killed the sex party scene. Flash forward to today, and sex parties are back with a vengeance. So what is it actually like to attend a sex party? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the world of sex parties and what you need to know if you’re thinking about attending one. I am joined once again by Dr. Tara, an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. She is also a sex and relationship coach and host of the podcast Luvbites by Dr. Tara. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does a sex party involve? What’s the atmosphere like? What’s the difference between a sex party and an orgy? How does consent work in a group setting? What are the typical rules or etiquette of a sex party? How do you even find a sex party to attend in the first place? What do you need to do to prepare for attending a sex party? You can check out Dr. Tara’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-april Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, sexual satisfaction usually starts dropping after the first year as the initial burst of passion begins to wear down. However, this decline in satisfaction is both preventable and reversible. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how bring excitement back into the bedroom by exploring the biggest predictors of sexual satisfaction. My guest is Dr. Tara, an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. She is also a sex and relationship coach and host of the podcast Luvbites by Dr. Tara. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many people today are actually satisfied with their sex lives? What are the key factors that contribute to sexual satisfaction? What are some practical things we can do to boost sexual self-esteem? How can we learn to be more mindful during sex? What are some ways to make sexual communication easier? You can check out Dr. Tara’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Initiating sex is something that a lot of people struggle with. So why is it hard, and how can we make it easier? That’s what we’re talking about in today’s show. In this episode, we’re revisiting a wonderful conversation I had with Vanessa and Xander Marin, the co-hosts of the “Pillow Talks” podcast and co-authors of the book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the questions we answer include: Why is initiating sex so hard for so many people? What are the dos and don’ts of sexual initiation? How do you figure out your initiation style? How do you say “no” to a partner’s initiation attempt without hurting their feelings? Are there ways to encourage your partner to initiate sex more often? Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander’s website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we spoke with the madam of a legal brothel in the US state of Nevada. In today’s show, we’re going to peel back the sheets a bit further and talk about the courtesans who live and work in this brothel, as well as the surprisingly wide range of customers who visit. It turns out that, more often than not, the patrons are looking for far more than just sex. I am joined once again by Tara Adkins, who has served as the madam of the World Famous Mustang Ranch for 17 years. As the madam of this property, Tara is responsible for hiring and training the courtesans. Additionally, she provides counsel to the women, offering support on financial and personal matters to ensure their success as independent contractors and beyond. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is there a typical brothel customer? Beyond sex, what are customers looking for when they visit a brothel? How do brothels help customers to fulfill their sexual fantasies? What’s it like to work at a brothel? What type of skill set do you need in order to be successful as a brothel worker? You can click here to check out the World Famous Mustang Ranch’s website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-april Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There are close to two dozen legal brothels in the U.S. state of Nevada. In today’s show, we’re going to go inside one of these brothels and talk to the madam who manages it. We’re going to talk about what the job of a brothel madam is really like, as well as some common myths and misconceptions about brothels and sex work. My guest is Tara Adkins, who has served as the madam of the World Famous Mustang Ranch for 17 years. As the madam of this property, Tara is responsible for hiring and training the courtesans. Additionally, she provides counsel to the women, offering support on financial and personal matters to ensure their success as independent contractors and beyond. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What requirements do you have to meet in order to be a fully legal brothel? What is the inside of a brothel actually like? What are the brothel madam’s main responsibilities? How does the madam ensure safety and respect for sex workers? What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about legal brothels? You can click here to check out the World Famous Mustang Ranch’s website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by LEHMILLER as the coupon code.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Porn is the predominant way that gay and queer men learn about sex. That’s a problem because porn is entertainment, not a how-to guide. In today’s show, we’re discussing what gay and queer men need to know when it comes to having positive and pleasurable sexual experiences, including tips for anal sex and dealing with performance problems. I am joined once again by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, and consultant who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute and author of the new book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does porn get wrong about gay sex? What are the dos and don’ts when it comes to having pleasurable anal sex? What should you do when you or your partner experience erectile difficulties? How can gay men manage self-consciousness about penis size and body image? Why is it worth trying sober sex? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Some gay men don’t think monogamy ever works because there’s too much temptation out there. At the same time, others think that non-monogamy never works because someone always gets jealous. So what’s the truth here? Today, we’re doing a deep dive into gay men’s relationships and exploring tips for successfully navigating them, whether they’re monogamous or non-monogamous. I am joined by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, and consultant who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute and author of the new book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How can you figure out what type of relationship is best for you, without feeling pressured? What do gay men who want to be monogamous need to know? What do you do when you and your partner want different kinds of relationship? Do you need to be monogamous first before opening up a relationship? What are the key ingredients of a successful non-monogamy agreement? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual fluidity is controversial. The fact that people’s sexual attractions can shift has sometimes been used to argue that sexual orientation is a choice and, therefore, that being LGBTQ doesn’t merit being a protected class under the law. In this show, we’re going to dive into the complicated politics surrounding sexual fluidity. I am joined once again by Mark Cusack, a sexuality and relationship coach supporting people who may have complex, fluid or undefined sexual orientation or gender. Mark’s latest book is titled Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why is sexual fluidity controversial? What does research say about whether someone can consciously change their sexual attraction? Is sexual fluidity something that only young people experience? What is the process of coming out as sexually fluid like? Can people of any age experience sexual fluidity? You can check out Mark’s latest book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Are you attracted to different types of people than you used to be? Has there been a shift in your go-to fantasy? Do you prefer different activities in the bedroom than you did before? Human sexuality is incredibly flexible. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the subject of sexual fluidity in order to better understand how and why our sexual attractions might change over time. My guest is Mark Cusack, a sexuality and relationship coach supporting people who may have complex, fluid or undefined sexual orientation or gender. Mark’s latest book is titled Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it mean to be “sexually fluid?” How often do fluid people experience shifts in their sexuality? How is sexual fluidity different from bisexuality? Why are some people more likely to experience sexual fluidity than others? How is gender fluidity different from sexual fluidity? You can check out Mark’s latest book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When you have sex, do you kind of already know how it’s going to play out before your clothes even came off? If so, you’re not alone. Most of us follow sexual scripts that feature a predictable sequence of activities. However, these scripts can limit our opportunities for pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to rewrite your sexual script and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. I am joined once again by Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago. Some of the specific questions we explore include: What is a sexual script anyway, and what might a typical script look like? How do sexual scripts limit our experiences with pleasure and connection? How do sexual scripts contribute to the orgasm gap? What does it mean to rewrite your sexual script? How do you rewrite your script when you’re not entirely sure what you want? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we’re going to dive into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem, as well as explore a few tips for maintaining a happy, healthy, and exciting sex life. My guest is Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What should you do if you’re having difficulty orgasming during sex? How can partners navigate wanting different amounts of sex? How do you tell your partner you want to try something new sexually? If sexual frequency declines in a relationship, does that mean there’s something wrong? How do you know if your fantasies are “normal” or not? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex. Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her book and podcast, both of which are titled, You Are Not Broken. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the three main kinds of bad sex? How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do? Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool? What kind of sex should we be aiming for? How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex? You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Sugar dating is a type of transactional relationship in which sex and companionship are exchanged for some type of compensation. Reports suggest that there are millions of people engaging in this. In today’s show, we’re going to explore sugar dating relationships, including what draws people to it, the advantages and disadvantages of sugar dating, and who holds the power in a sugaring arrangement. I am joined once again by Kate Metcalfe, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin and a member of Dr. Cindy Meston’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory. Kate’s research broadly focuses on sexual agency and motivation across different contexts and life stages. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is sugar dating defined? Is it a form of sex work? Is sex always a component of sugar dating? What are sugar babies and benefactors looking for from these relationships? What are the biggest perceived benefits and drawbacks of sugar dating? Who do sugar babies and benefactors see as having more power in their relationship? You can connect with Kate on LinkedIn to stay updated on her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Think about the last few times you had sex. What was your main reason for doing it? There are myriad reasons that people report, including pleasure and horniness. However, a common motive that we don’t talk enough about is when people have sex out of a sense of duty or obligation. So let’s talk about “duty sex,” including who has it and what effects it has on people and their relationships. My guest today is Kate Metcalfe, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin and a member of Dr. Cindy Meston’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory. Kate’s research broadly focuses on sexual agency and motivation across different contexts and life stages. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it mean to have “duty sex?” Who is most likely to engage in duty sex? How are sexual satisfaction and sexual pain related to duty sex? How might a history of nonconsensual sexual experiences contribute to duty sex? Is duty sex inherently bad? You can learn more about duty sex by reading Kate’s study that was recently published on the topic. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

If you could change one thing about your sex life, what would it be? In this episode, we’re discussing the biggest changes people want to make and the new things they want to try in bed based on insights from Arya’s new study of Couples and Intimacy Trends, which included data from more than 100,000 respondents. I am joined once again by Nicholas Velotta, a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the couple’s wellness platform, Arya.fyi. You can find him online at mindonlove.com. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What do people wish was different about their sex lives? Why does it seem like everyone is having less sex than they used to? What are the most common new things people want to try sexually? Why is kink becoming more popular? How can we leverage technology to improve intimacy and enhance eroticism? You can check out Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

How would you describe your personality in the bedroom? What do you like to do sexually? What do you need from your partners? What turns you on? In today’s show, we’re going to explore erotic personas. New research based on a survey of more than 100,000 adults sheds light on the 4 main types of erotic personas that exist. My guest is Nicholas Velotta, a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the couple’s wellness platform, Arya. You can find him online at mindonlove.com. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is an “erotic persona” similar to or different from a love language? What are the main characteristics of each erotic persona? Is it possible to have more than one erotic persona? Can our persona change over time? Why do most people end up in relationships with partners who have different erotic personas? How do you maintain sexual compatibility when you and your partner have different erotic profiles? You can check out Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) is one of the most distressing sexual dysfunctions. PGAD involves having near-constant feelings of unwanted arousal that make it difficult to concentrate, work, and sleep. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what we know about PGAD and speak with a physician who frequently treats patients with this condition. I am joined once again by Dr. Sameena Rahman, a board-certified OB/GYN, sex-med gynecologist, and menopause specialist with an academic affiliation at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. She is the founder of the Center for Gynecology and Cosmetics, and host of the podcast Gyno Girl Presents: Sex, Drugs & Hormones. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is persistent gentian arousal disorder? How is it clinically defined? What is it like to live with PGAD? How many people have PGAD, and who’s most likely to be affected? What’s the connection between obsessive-compulsive disorder and PGAD? What are the most effective treatments for this disorder? You can follow Sameena on Instagram to stay updated on her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Sex changes as we age. While these changes are often small and gradual, once you hit your 40s and 50s, it’s not uncommon to start noticing bigger changes. In this episode, we’re going to talk all about sex at midlife and some of the most common sexual issues that come up during this time for women, as well as tips for dealing with them. My guest today is Dr. Sameena Rahman, a board-certified OB/GYN, sex-med gynecologist, and menopause specialist with an academic affiliation at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. She is the founder of the Center for Gynecology and Cosmetics, and host of the podcast Gyno Girl Presents: Sex, Drugs & Hormones. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are some of the most common sexual challenges faced by midlife women? Why is it so taboo to talk about midlife sexual distress? What do women need to know about how peri-menopause can affect your sex life? What are the most helpful strategies for improving sex at midlife? How can self-pleasure help in relieving peri-menopause symptoms? You can follow Sameena on Instagram to stay updated on her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

In the previous episode, we discussed the history of food and sex, which turns out to be a truly fascinating topic! Today, we’re diving even deeper into the subject. We’re going to explore how diet culture became a way of suppressing female pleasure, how interest in fine food came to be associated with being gay, why French food has a particularly strong association with sex, and more. I am joined once again by Rachel Hope Cleves, a professor of history at the University of Victoria and a member of the College of the Royal Society of Canada. She is the author of four award-winning nonfiction history books and one science fiction novel. Her latest book is titled “Lustful Appetites: An Intimate History of Good Food and Wicked Sex.” Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why did a woman’s appetite for food become a barometer for her sexuality? When did restaurants shift from being places people primarily went for sex to places people went for food? Where did the association between gay men and gourmet cooking come from? How did cooking become a tool for seduction? How is the connection between food and sex playing out today on social media? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Have you ever noticed how good food and good sex just kind of go together? It turns out that this association goes back a really long time, so we’re going to dive into some of that fascinating history today. For example, I bet you didn’t know that the world’s first restaurants weren’t just places people went to eat–they were also places people went to have sex! My guest today is Rachel Hope Cleves, a professor of history at the University of Victoria and a member of the College of the Royal Society of Canada. She is the author of four award-winning nonfiction history books and one science fiction novel. Her latest book is titled “Lustful Appetites: An Intimate History of Good Food and Wicked Sex.” Some of the specific topics we explore include: How did people come to think that spicy food lead to sexual temptation? What’s the history of the restaurant as a place people originally visited for both food and sex? What kinds of aphrodisiacs did early restaurants serve? And why were these foods thought to increase sexual desire? How did early restaurants collaborate with sex workers to do business? Historically, how have restaurants used women’s sex appeal to increase business? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

How do you define sexual pleasure? For some people, it simply means orgasm. But orgasm isn’t the only way we derive pleasure from sex! In this episode, we’re going to dive into the many and varied forms of sexual pleasure that exist, common barriers to experiencing pleasure, and how to get more pleasure from sex. We’ll also discuss tips for cultivating a more satisfying sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled, Good Sex, is now in print. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What all does sexual pleasure entail? What holds us back from experiencing sexual pleasure? Why don’t women have the same expectations of sexual pleasure as men? How is sexual satisfaction different from sexual pleasure? What are some of the factors that affect whether individual feel satisfied with their sex lives? You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Let’s talk about orgasms! In today’s episode, we’re diving into a lot of interesting questions surrounding the big O. For example, who is responsible for your orgasm during sex: your partner or you? Also, is it ever OK to fake an orgasm? Additionally, we’ll explore strategies for having more orgasms if this is something you struggle with, as well as whether you can learn to be multiply-orgasmic. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled, Good Sex, is now in print. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: Are orgasms something that our partners “give” us? What do porn and popular media get wrong about how orgasms are portrayed? What are the most common reasons why people fake orgasms? How are orgasms defined scientifically? The goal of closing the orgasm gap is to achieve orgasm equity. But what does orgasm equity actually look like? You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

A lot of the things you’ve probably learned about what healthy relationships look like are just plain wrong. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what you really need to know. Some of the topics we’re going to explore include how to know whether a given relationship is right for you, how to avoid moving too fast, and the single best things you can do for your relationship health. I am joined once again by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we discuss include: Is a good relationship supposed to be hard or easy? Why is it unrealistic to expect a perfect sex life? What factors actually predict relationship satisfaction? How can we prioritize our relationships even when we’re busy? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Whether you consider yourself to be kinky or not, there’s a lot that all of us can learn from the kink community that could benefit our sex lives. Today, we’re going to explore five important things to know about cultivating safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual experiences. Along the way, we’re also going to dispel some common misconceptions about kink. My guest is Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: What are some of the biggest myths about the world of kink? What does negotiation during sex look like in practice? What is the importance of checking-in during sex and how do you go about this? How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame and come to self-acceptance? If you’re looking to explore kink for the first time, what do you need to know? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

If you’re a long-time listener, you’ve probably heard me talk about my study abroad classes before. I take students all over the world to learn about sex and culture, and one of the many topics we explore is sexual fantasies, including how they are similar or different across cultures. For example, in my Amsterdam course, we hear from Marielle de Goede, who along with her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. This project also resulted in various theatre performances and a traveling erotic exhibition. The goal of the project was to celebrate the erotic imagination and to break the taboos surrounding our fantasies and sexuality by bringing together art, storytelling, and science. In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss Marielle’s project in more depth. Some of the topics we address include: How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world? Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans? How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies? How do people feel about their sexual fantasies? What do we know about the origins of our fantasies? What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner? If you’re interested in learning more and joining me on a study abroad trip this year, this blog has the registration information for all of our locations this year — Amsterdam, Prague, Reykjavik, and Barcelona. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Research finds that up to 25% of men experience sexual performance anxiety, which is just one of many types of anxiety that affect men in the bedroom. In this episode, we’re diving into men’s anxiety around sex and relationships, and how to deal with it. I am joined once again by David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness, a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco. He is author of the Mental Health Workbook for Men and Sex Worriers: A Mindfully Queer Guide to Men’s Anxiety Around Sex and Dating. Some of the topics we explore include: How does anxiety manifest in men’s sexual and romantic lives? How can men’s anxiety lead to boundary violations? How can men cope with anxiety about their own performance during sex? What are some ways men can learn to be more present during sex? How do you deal with anxiety around masculinity issues? You can check out David’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

A growing number of men are experiencing mental health struggles. However, surveys from all around the world find that men are very reluctant to talk about their mental health. As a result, their mental health issues often go undiagnosed and untreated, and many turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. In today’s show, we’re going to open up a conversation about men’s mental health. I am joined by David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness, a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco. He is author of the Mental Health Workbook for Men and Sex Worriers: A Mindfully Queer Guide to Men’s Anxiety Around Sex and Dating. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: How is mental health different from mental illness? What are some of the most common mental health concerns facing men today? What are some of the factors that contribute to men’s mental health concerns? What are some of the ways that a man’s mental health can affect his sex life? How can men cope with stress more effectively? You can check out David’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

When it comes to how sex and sexuality are portrayed on screen, what does Hollywood get right and wrong? Let’s talk about it! I recently appeared on the Love Factually Podcast, hosted by my friends Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. They asked me to select a film about sex, so I picked the 2010 movie Easy A starring Emma Stone. We had a really fun conversation about it, so I wanted to share it with you today. Easy A covers a lot of timely themes, including sexual reputation, virginity, casual sex, and the sexual double standard. We discuss how this film handles them, what the science says about these topics, and also how our sexual culture has shifted since this film first came out. Some of the topics we explore include: Does the sexual double standard still exist for men and women? How is casual sex related to self-esteem? What does this movie get right and wrong about hookup culture? How do reputational concerns influence women’s interest in casual sex? I hope you enjoy this episode of the Love Factually podcast—and if you like what you hear, give Paul and Eli’s show a follow on Apple or Spotify. Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We are answering more of your sex questions in this show! We had a couple of fascinating questions that came through our listener voicemail that really stood out to me because I’ve never been asked about them before: Our first question is about what to do with sex toys you don’t want or need anymore. Can you recycle them? The answer is surprisingly complicated! The second question comes from a sex worker who wants to be open and honest with her kids about her work, so she’s looking for advice on how to have that conversation. To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the show. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In today’s show, we are answering more of your sex questions! We recently had two questions come through our podcast voicemail that center around navigating relationships where the partners are significantly different in terms of age, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the podcast. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also runs her own podcast called What’s Your Position, which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: What counts as an “age-gap relationship” anyway? Why are age-gap relationships so stigmatized? If you’re in an age-gap relationship, how do you deal with all of the social judgment? How do you maintain a healthy and active sex life in an age-gap relationship when partners have different libidos? What are some of the most common challenges that come up in age-gap relationships? Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular self-help books on relationships ever written, and it’s often used in couples’ therapy. However, despite its massive popularity, there’s a surprising lack of research on the theory behind it. My guest today recently published a new study that tested some of its core ideas, and the findings may very well surprise you. I am joined by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is licensed to practice psychology in New York and Pennsylvania, and is an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – Sacramento. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: What are the five love languages? Does everyone have a primary love language? Are people actually happier when their partner “speaks” their primary love language? Which love language is most strongly linked to relationship satisfaction? Is the love languages concept useful in sex and relationship therapy? You can check out Sharon’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual problems are common. So how do we fix them? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive into the Good Enough Sex Model. It’s a radically different way of thinking about sex that can help us both in preventing problems from emerging in the first place, as well as fixing problems when they appear. My guest is Dr. Barry McCarthy. He is an emeritus professor of psychology at American University and a certified couple’s therapist. He has published more than 150 academic papers and chapters, and has authored or co-authored 24 books. In 2016 he received the Masters and Johnson award for lifetime contributions to the sexuality field. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: Why do we need more than just medication when it comes to fixing sexual problems? What is the Good Enough Sex Model? How is it different from other forms of sex therapy? How can we set realistic expectations for resolving sexual problems? Why is playfulness such an important element of good sex? How can parters resolve disagreements about sex in a healthy way? You can check out Barry’s Psychology Today profile to read more of his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Now is the perfect time to make some resolutions for healthy relationships in the New Year! In previous year-end episodes, we covered sexual resolutions (see episodes 155 and 253), so in this show, we’re going to focus on relationship resolutions. We’ll be talking about tips for making new friends, strengthening romantic relationships, and building a healthier relationship with yourself. Today, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens: my interview with Dr. Juliana Hauser, which originally appeared back in episode 156. Dr. Juliana is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, she is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we dive into include: What are some ways of meeting new people in the new year? How can we balance having strong friendships that don’t interfere with our romantic relationships? How can we resolve to be better online daters in the new year? What are some ways we can cultivate better communication skills with our partners? You can check out Juliana’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a topic that is rarely discussed in terms of how it affects adults’ intimate lives, but it’s something we need to talk about. Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD experience at least one form of sexual dysfunction. In today’s show, we’re going to explore what you need to know about ADHD, sex, and relationships. I am joined by Cate Osborn, a certified sex educator, mental health advocate, and full-time content creator, with ADHD. As a professional table top role-playing game performer, she is passionate about opening conversations about neurodiversity and accessibility in the gaming and BDSM/kink communities. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why is ADHD linked to both lower and higher sexual desire? How does ADHD affect orgasm? Are there gender differences in how ADHD impacts sex? What are some of the ways ADHD can affect relationships outside of the bedroom? If you’re someone who finds yourself constantly distracted during sex, what can you do about this? You can check out Cate’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Over the last couple of decades, holiday movies have increasingly centered around love and romance, and they’re growing massively in popularity. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the rise of romance-themed holiday media and how this intersects with cuffing season, or the increased tendency for people to partner-up during the winter months. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick and Dr. Eli Finkel. Dr. Eastwick is a Professor at the University of California, Davis, where he studies romantic attraction and close relationships. Dr. Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University and author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, which we discussed back in Episode 45. Together, they co-host the Love Factually podcast. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why is so much holiday media focused on themes of love and romance? What’s the science behind “cuffing season?” Is it a good or bad thing that holiday media focuses so much on romance? Is Die Hard really a Christmas movie? You can check out the Love Factually podcast website to learn more.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Sentient object romance” is an increasingly popular erotica genre in which humans get ravished by inanimate objects that come to life. Some of the most wonderfully absurd titles I’ve seen in this area include “Glazed by the Gay Living Donuts” and “This Pumpkin Spice Latte Gets Me Off.” In today’s show, we’re going to explore the appeal of sentient object romance with an author who has published dozens of books in this area. I am joined by Chuck Tingle, a USA Today bestselling author, two-time Hugo Award finalist, and Bram Stoker Award nominee. He is a mysterious force of energy behind sunglasses and a pink mask. He is also an anonymous author of romance, horror, and fantasy. Chuck writes to prove love is real, because love is the most important tool we have when resisting the endless cosmic void. Some of the topics we dive into include: What do people find appealing or arousing about sentient objects? Why are some people attracted to objects in real life? How does attraction to objects intersect with neurodiversity? What’s the political subtext behind sentient object romance? You can check out Chuck’s website to learn more about his work, and check out all of his books here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Research has found that gay men are substantially more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than heterosexual men, whereas heterosexual men are more likely to experience premature ejaculation than gay men. So what’s up with that? In this episode, we’re going dive into the science that can help to explain this curious pattern, as well as discuss tips for dealing with ED. I am joined once again by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, and author of the book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment, which will be published in March 2025. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: How common is ED among gay men? How does performance anxiety impact gay men, and how do you deal with this? How do recreational drugs impact sexual functioning? What are some strategies to improve erectile function? How might rapid ejaculation be viewed differently in gay vs. heterosexual contexts? You can learn more by checking out the Queer Relationship Institute’s Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  TENGA is Japan’s leading sexual wellness brand, specializing in discreet, stylish products. Take advantage of their year-end sale and Christmas bundles at the TENGA Store USA and TENGA Store Europe. Use code SEXANDPSYCH to save 15% off your first purchase with a minimum spend of $15 (US) or €30 (Europe).  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most relationship advice is tailored to heterosexual folks. And while some of that is also applicable queer relationships, not all of it is. Queer relationships are unique and therefore need relationship advice that’s tailored to them. My guest today has a forthcoming book that offers a relationship guide for gay men, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. I am joined by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, and author of the book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment, which will be published in March 2025. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are the unique stages that gay men’s relationships go through? What’s the deal with gay men and “daddy issues?” For gay men who struggle to make a relationship last beyond the honeymoon stage, what do they need to know? How can understanding your attachment style help in navigating dating and relationships? How do you find a sex or relationship therapist who is knowledgable and gay-affirming? You can learn more by checking out the Queer Relationship Institute’s Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Financial domination or findom involves a submissive (usually a man) who gives money or control of their finances to a dominant partner (usually a woman). The sub is not expecting anything in return—it’s about submitting, giving up control, sometimes being humiliated, and being aroused by all of this. So why are people into findom, and why does it seem to be growing in popularity? My guest today is Jessica van Meir, a PhD candidate at the Harvard Kennedy School who studies sex work. Jessica is co-founder of MintStars, a subscription platform for content creators, models, and their fans. She also co-authored a chapter in the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century that explores the rise of financial kinks. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Who’s into findom and why? How is findom similar to or different from sugar dating? What’s the connection between findom, our growing economic crises, and capitalism? How can findom serve as a way of coping with financial precarity? How does findom both challenge and reinforce traditional gender power dynamics? To learn more about Jessica, follow her on the socials at @jessicavanmeir.bsky.social You can get 30% off  Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

These days, it seems like sex is everywhere you look. We live in a very pornified culture in many ways, but it wasn’t always like this. So what changed? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of “raunch culture.” Some of the topics we’ll discuss include the effects of living in a hypersexualized society, the mixed messages that women receive about sex, and why raunch culture and purity culture co-exist. I am joined once again by Dr. Bernadette Barton, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century. She is also author of the book The Pornification of America. Her research and teaching explore contemporary issues of gender, sexuality, religion, culture, happiness, and the sex industry. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What is “raunch culture?” When and why did our culture start to become so highly pornified? Is raunch culture empowering to women? Is the hypersexualization of society a sign of sex-positivity? Raunch culture and purity culture seem at odds with one another, so how do they exist simultaneously? You can get 30% off  Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sugar dating typically involves an older, wealthy person who financially supports a younger, attractive partner in exchange for companionship and intimacy, and sometimes sex. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the growing popularity of sugar dating and the unique grey area that it occupies in between traditional dating and sex work. My guest is Dr. Bernadette Barton, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century. Her research and teaching explore contemporary issues of gender, sexuality, religion, culture, happiness, and the sex industry. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are some common examples of sugaring arrangements? How is sugar dating different from traditional dating? Is sugar dating sex work? What’s the legal status of sugar dating? Who holds the power in sugar dating relationships? You can get 30% off  Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Romantic comedies are one of the most popular film genres. But how accurate are rom-coms in the way they portray sex, love, and relationships? My guests today are the hosts of a new podcast that uses the science of relationships to separate fact from fiction in some of the biggest rom-coms of all time. We’re going to explore some of the things that Hollywood gets right and wrong in the way they depict relationships. I am joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick and Dr. Eli Finkel. Dr. Eastwick is a Professor at the University of California, Davis, where he studies romantic attraction and close relationships. Dr. Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University and author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, which we discussed back in Episode 45. Together, they co-host the Love Factually podcast. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: In movies, partners often meet as strangers and fall in love. Is this how relationships typically start in real life? Falling in love at first sight is a common theme in rom-coms. But what does the science say about this? Opposites often attract on screen, but is that also true IRL? What are some things films often get wrong about sex? Is it necessarily a bad thing if rom coms aren’t always accurate? You can check out the Love Factually podcast website to learn and listen more.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Our sexuality is something that evolves and changes over time. However, traditional sex education does a poor job of preparing us for those changes. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to stay sexually healthy for your entire life. We’re going to explore what people at different stages of life need to know, why maintaining sexual health is so important, tips for navigating low sexual desire, and so much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Evelin Dacker, who is the creator of the STARS framework for sexual communication, which we discussed in depth in the last episode. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are the key things young adults should know about staying sexually healthy? How can we effectively communicate with our partners about sexual difficulties when they arise? What do mid-life and older adults need to know about maintaining a healthy sex life? How do you maintain a healthy sex life when your sexual desire (or your partner’s desire) declines? How do you talk to your doctor about sex? You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us recognize how important sexual communication is, yet we still struggle with it. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss a practical framework for improving your sexual communication skills. It’s called the STARS method. Using this technique will help you and your partner(s) to better understand each other and lay the groundwork for hot and healthy intimate encounters. My guest is Dr. Evelin Dacker, the creator of the STARS method. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. Her unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What does STARS stand for? What are the key things we should be discussing with our partners? How can we go about discovering our turn-ons and communicating them effectively? How do you tell your partner about the things you don’t want and communicate your boundaries? How do you make discussions about sexual health and STIs easier? Why is it important to communicate your relationship intentions, and how do you do this? You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The clitoris is a piece of anatomy that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the history of the clitoris and what you need to know about it. We’ll also explore whether there’s really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms, the surprising role of testosterone in clitoral health, and how recent research has completely changed our understanding of clitoral anatomy. I am joined once again by Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: When did people first start recognizing the importance of the clitoris in female sexual pleasure? Why did it take so long for us to develop a basic understanding of clitoral anatomy? How many nerve ending are in the clitoris? How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help improve women’s sexual health and pleasure? Are there really different “types” of female orgasm? You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The vulva is one of the most misunderstood pieces of sexual anatomy. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about what you don’t know about the vulva. Among other things, we’ll discuss the lifespan of the vulva, the importance of maintaining vulvar health, and how sex education is failing us all when it comes to understanding the vulva. My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What is the difference between the vulva and the vagina? Are doctors learning enough about the vulva? How does the vulva evolve and change with age? How can paying attention to vulvar health improve overall wellbeing? How do you maintain a happy and healthy vulva? You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having kinky sex. So let’s talk about our kinky history and how it can help us to better understand sexuality today. In this episode, we’re going to explore the roots of a number of popular fetishes, including leather, nylon, and feet. We’re also going to talk about the history of porn, including the rise of animated porn in popular culture. I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.   Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: How did leather and nylon come to be associated with sex in the first place? When and why did foot fetishes start to become popular? When did humans start making porn? Historically, why was porn often used for political purposes? When did cartoon/animated porn begin to rise in popularity? You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex toys are far from a modern invention. Humans have actually been making them for millennia! So let’s dive into the fascinating history of sex toys. In today’s show, we’ll tell you about the oldest dildo ever discovered, the true story behind the invention of the vibrator, and so much more. I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.   Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: How long have humans been using sex toys? When did people start mass-producing dildos? When was the vibrator invented, and why were the first versions geared toward men? When were cock rings first developed and what were they like? What did people use for contraception before condoms or birth control pills existed? You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do you create a lasting connection with a partner and sustain passion in a relationship over time? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the secrets you need to know for cultivating hotter and healthier sex lives. By following these tips, you can learn to have the kind of sex that we all really want to be having, which is where it feels almost effortless because you’re totally in synch with your partner. I am joined once again by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Why is curiosity an important element of great sex? How do you build up the courage to try something new if that sounds a little scary or stressful to you? How can you learn to become more adaptable in the bedroom? Why is vulnerability important for having great sex? What is attunement, and how can we become more attuned to our partners during sex? You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @DrEmilyJamea. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most common sex problems people report today is that they can’t seem to clear their mind during sex. They find themselves distracted or they’re multi-tasking, and this is getting in the way of their pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss why this problem is on the rise and what we can do about it. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to have embodied sex, which is the kind of sex that allows us to get out of our heads and into the moment. I am joined by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: How is our modern world making it harder for us to be present during sex? What is a “flow state,” and why is this an important element of good sex? How can we learn to become more embodied during sex? What are some everyday ways to practice embodiment? How can we leverage the power of touch to enhance sex and relationships? You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Social media has permeated many aspects of our lives, including our intimate lives. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the good, bad, and ugly of how social media has changed dating. Some of the topics we explore include how social media can stoke relationship insecurity and undermine authentic connection, as well as why social media is increasingly a terrible place to learn about relationships. We’ll also consider tips for using social media in healthier ways. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.” Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: How can social media increase uncertainty about whether someone is really interested in you? How is the fact that people are constantly posting private details of their lives changing the way we’re approaching dating? When do social media interactions cross the line into cheating? Are there any ways that social media can be good for relationships? How can we use social media in a more mindful way? You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What do young adults today want from sex and relationships? And how is this different compared to generations past? To answer these questions, we’re going to dive into The State of Dating Report, a collaborative scientific analysis from the Kinsey Institute and Feeld, the dating app for the curious. We’re going to discuss why younger adults are having less sex overall but more kinky sex, how preferences for different types of relationships vary across generations, and more. I am joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington.  Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.” Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: Why Gen Z is having less sex and fewer relationships compared to generations past. Why younger adults are more interested in monogamy than older adults. Why kinky sex is on the rise in Gen Z. How the sexual fantasies of younger and older adults compare. Why rates of LGBTQ+ identification are rising among young adults. You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In today’s show, we’re answering more of your sex questions! This is our third dive into some of the questions that have come through our listener voicemail. I’m going to answer three of them that I thought were super interesting. Our first question is about whether libido is genetically determined, so we’ll look at what the science says about the degree to which genetics control our sexual desire. The second question deals with a male listener who has difficulty reaching orgasm, so we’ll talk about tips for managing that. Finally, a listener asked about how to boost sexual desire in post-menopausal women, so we’ll explore what you need to know about that with an assist from Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a practicing gynecologist and a North American Menopause Society Certified Clinician. Dr. Minkin was a previous guest on episode 334: How To Have a Happy Vagina. If you have questions you’d like to have answered on the show, you can send me a podcast voicemail of your own at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. You can do it from your computer or from your phone, so keep sending those questions in! *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual desire is complex. Scientists can’t even agree on a definition of it, let alone whether and how it is distinct from arousal. In today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations of all time on the show, which offers a deep dive into the science behind women’s sexual desire. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include how to treat problems with low desire, why monogamy is so hard on desire, as well as why wanting to be wanted is so vital to feeling desire. My guest is Dr. Marta Meana, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.  The author of numerous academic publications and two books, her research has focused on genital pain in women, as well as female sexual desire. Some of the topics we explore include: Diversity in how sexual desire is experienced. Why long-term monogamy is hard on sexual desire for everyone, but especially for women. Whether it’s possible to maintain both intense intimacy and intense passion at the same time. Why women are more likely than men to see themselves as the object of desire in their fantasies. How having more erotic self-focus can benefit women’s sex lives. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest

A growing number of people seem to be hitting the pause button on their sex lives, which is why terms like “volcel” (short for voluntary celibacy) and “boysober” are trending on social media. So what’s this all about? Why is not having sex the hot new sex trend? Let’s talk about it. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of voluntary celibacy and what you need to know about it. I am joined once again by Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025. Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: What does it really mean to be voluntarily celibate? Why might someone choose to take a break from sex for a while? Why does voluntary celibacy seem to be more popular among women than men? What are the potential benefits and challenges of celibacy? If you’re taking a break from sex, how can you make the most of it? You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you had to define “good sex” in just three words, what would they be? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the key things that come to mind when people are asked this question. There are 20 common responses to this, which constitute the main ingredients of the kind of sex we all want to be having. We’re going to dive into some of those ingredients and talk about tips for how to incorporate them into your sex life so that you can experience more pleasure, connectedness, and fun in the bedroom. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Why is it useful to think about sex as being akin to cooking? What are some of the key ingredients, seasonings, and spices that make for good sex? How can we make sex fun again? How can we experience more connectedness to ourselves during sex? How can we get better at communicating about sex? You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many women don’t know what they really need to know about maintaining good vaginal health, which leads some of them to turn to products and practices that might do more harm than good. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to have a happy and healthy vagina. Specifically, we’ll explore how your lifestyle impacts your vaginal health, how to maintain the proper pH balance for your vagina, tips for dealing with vaginal dryness, what you need to know about feminine hygiene products, and more. My guest today is Mary Jane Minkin, a practicing gynecologist and a North American Menopause Society Certified Clinician. She has taught at Yale School of Medicine for more than 41 years, and is a clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: What are some common lifestyle factors that can impact vaginal health? How would someone know if their vaginal pH balance was out of whack? How do vaginal hygiene products impact vaginal health? What causes vaginal dryness, and what are some practical ways of dealing with this for both younger and older women? How do you choose the contraceptive that’s right for you and your body? You can check out Dr. Minkin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Psychedelic use is at an all-time high among young adults. These drugs are used for many purposes, but often for sex. So let’s talk about “trippy” sex. In this episode, we’re going to discuss the sexual effects of several common psychedelics, the potential benefits and risks of these drugs, and what people who wish to combine sex and substances need to know in terms of having safer and more pleasurable experiences. I am joined once again by Ashley Manta, an award-winning sex educator and certified sexologist. She has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual brand, which has also expanded to include psychedelics. She is co-author of the book The CBD Solution: Sex. Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: How does MDMA/ecstasy affect people’s sexual experiences? What are the sexual effects of psilocybin and ketamine? Why do different people experience different effects from psychedelics? How do psychedelics compare to alcohol in terms of their sexual impact? What conversations should you have with a partner before combing drugs and sex? You can check out Ashley’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people consume cannabis prior to sexual activity. But how exactly does cannabis affect sex, and what do you need to know about it? In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what the research says about how cannabis affects men’s and women’s sexual function and performance, the problems with a lot of the research on sex and cannabis, why cannabis affects different people in different ways, how the sexual effects of marijuana and CBD compare, and more. My guest today is Ashley Manta, an award-winning sex educator and certified sexologist. She has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual brand, which has also expanded to include psychedelics. She is co-author of the book The CBD Solution: Sex. Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: What is the endocannabinoid system, and what is its purpose is in the body? What are the most common sexual effects of cannabis use? How does cannabis affect male and female sexual function? Why is there so much individual variability in the effects of cannabis on the body? How are CBD and THC similar or different in terms of sexual effects? You can check out Ashley’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you looking for a space that celebrates diverse perspectives, explores new frontiers and brings all of your favorite people together?  The Annual Sexological Conference hosted by Sexual Health Alliance is where sexuality leaders gather. Get your ticket to be inspired, educated, and empowered. Head over to SexualHealthAlliance.com, select the Annual Sexological Conference page and save your spot today! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Bromance” is a term that is often used to describe close friendships between men. These relationships contain elements of emotional intimacy, but physical intimacy may occur as well, such as cuddling. Sometimes there’s even a sexual component, such as when two male friends participate in a threesome together. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the psychology behind bromances. We’ll also talk about why a lot of men struggle when it comes to being vulnerable with their friends. I am joined once again by Mark McCormack, a Professor of Sociology at Aston University. His research examines how social trends related to gender and sexuality map onto everyday experiences of individuals. To date, he has published more than 80 scientific works. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What does it really mean to have a bromance? What do these relationships look like? Why do a lot of heterosexual men find it difficult to open up to their male friends? How common is physical intimacy in bromances? What are bromances like among men who identify as something other than heterosexual? You can click here to connect with Mark on Twitter/X. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What does it really mean to be “kinky?” It can be difficult to say because kink is a subjective term that means different things to different people. Kink can also be a fantasy, a practice, or even an identity. It’s time for a new way of thinking about kink that can capture all of this complexity. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the brand new Kink Orientation Scale, a scientific quiz designed to measure how kinky a given person is in a comprehensive way. My guest is Mark McCormack, a Professor of Sociology at Aston University. His research examines how social trends related to gender and sexuality map onto everyday experiences of individuals. To date, he has published more than 80 scientific works. Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean to have a “kink orientation?” Is kink itself a sexual orientation? What are the five different components that make up a kink orientation? Why is it important to think about kink as running along a continuum instead of being a binary thing (i.e., kinky vs. vanilla)? You can click here to take the Kink Orientation Quiz for yourself. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you looking for a space that celebrates diverse perspectives, explores new frontiers and brings all of your favorite people together?  The Annual Sexological Conference hosted by Sexual Health Alliance is where sexuality leaders gather. Get your ticket to be inspired, educated, and empowered. Head over to SexualHealthAlliance.com, select the Annual Sexological Conference page and save your spot today! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When romantic partners move in together, something they need to figure out is how to manage their finances. Will your money be shared or separate? And who will pay for what? These conversations can be tricky to navigate in general, but they become even more complex when you have multiple partners. In today’s episode, we’re going to dive into money management in polyamorous relationships. We’ll explore financial considerations for poly folks, the financial benefits of being polyamorous, and more. I am joined once again by Laura Boyle, author of the new book Monogamy? In this Economy? Sue runs a blog called Ready for Polyamory. Her first book titled, Ready for Polyamory: A Pragmatic Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy, was released in 2021. Some of the specific questions we discuss include: Why are more and more people (including monogamous couples) keeping their finances separate today? What are the most common financial arrangements that polyamorous people make? How can poly folks successfully navigate conflicts around money? How do polyamorous people manage money when partners have drastically different incomes, expenses, and debts? What are some of the financial advantages to having multiple partners? You can learn more about Laura and her work by visiting her website. You can also follow her on the socials @readyforpolyamory. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you’ve never lived with multiple partners before, figuring out how to navigate this kind of situation can pose some challenges. For example, how do you determine where everyone will sleep? How do you navigate things like personal space, chores, and scheduling conflicts? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss practical tips on cultivating happy and harmonious living arrangements for polyamorous individuals. My guest is Laura Boyle, author of the new book Monogamy? In this Economy? Sue runs a blog called Ready for Polyamory. Her first book titled, Ready for Polyamory: A Pragmatic Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy, was released in 2021. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are the most common living arrangements for polyamorous folks? How can poly people navigate issues like leases, mortgages, and even biases from landlords that might make it difficult to live with more than one partner? How can “new relationship energy” complicate living situations? What are the most common conflicts that arise when a new partner moves in? You can learn more about Laura and her work by visiting her website. You can also follow her on the socials @readyforpolyamory. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you looking for a space that celebrates diverse perspectives, explores new frontiers and brings all of your favorite people together?  The Annual Sexological Conference hosted by Sexual Health Alliance is where sexuality leaders gather. Get your ticket to be inspired, educated, and empowered. Head over to SexualHealthAlliance.com, select the Annual Sexological Conference page and save your spot today! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We discussed sex tips for women in the previous episode, so today we have some tips for the guys. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include how to have stronger erections, what you need to know if you’re concerned about your penis size, as well as how to increase sexual pleasure. We’re also going to discuss common sexual concerns men have and how to address them. I am joined once again by Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexuality educator. With over 300 million views and 2 million subscribers, her YouTube channel @RenaMalikMD has become a go-to destination for frank, evidence-based discussions of taboo topics. With a prolific portfolio boasting over 80 peer-reviewed publications, she has contributed to advancement and innovation in the field of urology. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: If you experience delayed or absent orgasm during partnered sex, what can you do about this? What should you do if you find that condoms interfere with pleasure and sensation? What can you do if you want to have stronger and firmer erections? Are there any reliable ways to boost seminal volume? Is there anything that actually works in terms of increasing penis size? You can check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Female sexual pleasure is a topic that is not often covered in traditional sex education. In fact, it’s extraordinarily rare for the word “clitoris” to even be mentioned in sex ed! The unfortunate result is that many women (and their partners) never learn the information they really need to know. In today’s show, we’re diving into the sex ed you never got in school and discussing key facts about women’s sexual health and pleasure. My guest is Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexuality educator. With over 300 million views and 2 million subscribers, her YouTube channel @RenaMalikMD has become a go-to destination for frank, evidence-based discussions of taboo topics. With a prolific portfolio boasting over 80 peer-reviewed publications, she has contributed to advancement and innovation in the field of urology. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are some ways of making intercourse more pleasurable for women? How do you deal with a problem like sexual pain, and what are some common solutions for it? What can women do if they’re having trouble orgasming? What should women who are concerned with vaginal taste and smell know? What can you do to prevent vaginal infections? You can check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you looking for a space that celebrates diverse perspectives, explores new frontiers and brings all of your favorite people together?  The Annual Sexological Conference hosted by Sexual Health Alliance is where sexuality leaders gather. Get your ticket to be inspired, educated, and empowered. Head over to SexualHealthAlliance.com, select the Annual Sexological Conference page and save your spot today! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex educators and researchers are often called upon to serve as expert witnesses in legal proceedings. This is particularly true in cases that center around kink or BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and sexual or gender minorities. The job of the experts is to help judges and juries better understand the sexual issues at hand. In today’s show, I’m going to interview a colleague who has extensive experience serving as an expert witness. We’re going to talk about the some of the cases she’s been a part of, what the experience is like, and more. My guest is Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, a researcher, expert witness, coach, speaker, and educational consultant. Dr. Eli holds a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from AASECT. She has published four books, over 30 peer-reviewed journal articles and chapters, and is currently editing a series of books on relationship and sexual diversity. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: How do you decide which legal cases to get involved in? What are some reasons why you might not take a particular case? What kinds of legal issues come up for non-monogamous individuals that would require an expert witness? What are some of the legal issues that come up in the context of kink and BDSM? Given that consent is not a valid legal defense for injuries that arise during sex, what do kinky folks need to know with respect to avoiding potential legal peril? You can visit Dr. Eli’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of us aren’t getting what we really want in bed. For example, there might be certain positions, activities, or techniques that you prefer or enjoy, but you aren’t quite sure how to ask for them. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to get more of what you want. Some of the topics we’ll explore include practical tips for sharing your sexual desires, tips for introducing a kink or fetish into a relationship, as well as tips for normalizing conversations about sex in general. I am joined once again by Dr. Elisabeth Gordon. She is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in sexual health. She maintains a New York City based private practice and is also an educator, speaker, researcher, and writer dedicated to advancing sexual health. She has taught at multiple academic institutions around the world, and is a frequent commentator on sexual health topics in the popular media. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: How do you go about uncovering your sexual likes and dislikes in the first place? When is the right time to talk to your partner about trying something new in the bedroom? What are some tips for communicating about kinks with a new partner? What should you do when you and your partner have different sexual fantasies and desires? How can you encourage a partner to share their sexual wants with you? You can check out Elisabeth’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. It’s virtually impossible for partners to always be erotically in synch with one another at all times over the course of many years together. That’s why everyone fights about sex from time to time. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the most common sexual conflicts that arise in long-term relationships, as well as practical tips on how to solve them. My guest is Dr. Elisabeth Gordon. She is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in sexual health. She maintains a New York City based private practice and is also an educator, speaker, researcher, and writer dedicated to advancing sexual health. She has taught at multiple academic institutions around the world, and is a frequent commentator on sexual health topics in the popular media. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What’s the most common sex fight? What should you do when one partner wants more sex than the other? How do you tell your partner that you want them to initiate sex more often? What are some ways to tell your partner that the sex you’re having isn’t meeting your needs? How do you deal with a selfish lover? What should you do when masturbation and/or porn use become conflict areas in a relationship? You can check out Elisabeth’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Today, more people identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before. However, this is largely due to a big increase in the number of persons identifying as bisexual. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research that investigates the rise in bisexuality over time. We’ll discuss different ways of defining and measuring bisexuality, why women seem more likely to be bisexual than men, and much more. My guest is Martin Monto, a Professor of Sociology at University of Portland specializing in the intersection between gender, sexuality, and public health, with an additional focus on society’s impact on the natural environment. Monto has an extensive publication record focusing on social aspects of sexuality and the sex industry, including notable publications on sex buyers, webcam users, “hooking up,” and bisexuality. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are some of the different ways that scientists have defined bisexuality? How many people today identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual—and how have these numbers changed over time? With the rise in bisexual identification, has there also been a rise in bisexual behavior? How do rates of bisexuality differ for older versus younger adults? Why might more women identify as bisexual than men? You can connect with Martin here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Heart photo by Jiroe (Matia Rengel) on Unsplash.

The penis doesn’t always do what you want it to do. For example, sometimes you might want an erection but can’t get one, or maybe you’ll reach orgasm faster than you’d like. These things happen. But when does a penis problem cross the line into becoming a sexual difficulty in need of treatment? That’s what we’re going to be exploring today. We’re going to talk about common male sexual health issues, including how they are clinically defined and treated, as well as tips for maintaining penile health as you age. I am joined once again by Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a nurse practitioner and sexologist, and the founder of Restorative Sexual Health Clinic and Restore Men’s Intimate Health. She is also co-founder of The Penis Project Podcast. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What is Peyronie’s disease, and how would someone know if they had it? What “counts” as having premature ejaculation? How can men last longer in bed? What’s the difference between a sexual dysfunction and a sexual disappointment? What are some different ways of dealing with erectile dysfunction? You can check out Melissa’s website and YouTube channel to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How much do you know about the penis? You may think you already know everything there is to know, but you probably don’t. That’s why today’s episode is going to dive into what you don’t know about the penis. Some of the topics we’re going to cover include the immense variability that exists in penile sensitivity and sensation, as well as what we know about multiple orgasms in men. My guest today is Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a nurse practitioner and sexologist, and the founder of Restorative Sexual Health Clinic and Restore Men’s Intimate Health. She is also co-founder of The Penis Project Podcast. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What is the average penis size? Why is flaccid penis size not necessarily a reliable predictor of erect size? If there aren’t any bones in the penis, can you still break or fracture an erection? What are the benefits of using vibrators for men’s sexual health and function? How common is it for men to experience erectile dysfunction? You can check out Melissa’s website and YouTube channel to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Was it consensual kink or sexual abuse? This question is at the heart of a growing number of legal cases. Unfortunately, people sometimes try to claim consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence, a trend my guest today refers to as “the bogus BDSM defense.” In this show, we’re going to dive into a few recent cases where the bogus BDSM defense has been deployed, as well as the signs that can help us to distinguish between consensual kink and sexual violence. I am joined once again by Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, and has authored a book chapter on the bogus BDSM defense. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does the “bogus BDSM defense” look like? Is this defense ever successful in terms of avoiding conviction or leading to a reduced sentence? How does the bogus BDSM defense intersect with race and respectability politics? How can we prevent people from using claims of consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence? You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people become nonmonogamous, they don’t always stay nonmonogamous for life. Sometimes people decide to take a temporary break from it. Other times, people stop practicing it altogether because it’s just not what they want or need anymore. Maybe they only want to pursue one relationship right now, or perhaps they just want to be single. So what does a post nonmonogamous life look like? That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode. My guest today is Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.” Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does post nonmonogamy look like? What are the main reasons people become post-nonmonogamous? Is post-nonmonogamy a temporary or permanent state? In what ways can post-nonmonogamy be rewarding? In what ways it is challenging? You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A common theme in many people’s sexual fantasies is being “forced” to have sex. In the world of kink, this is widely known as consensual non-consent (CNC). So why is this such a popular sexual interest? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the psychology behind it. We’re also going to delve into some of the political aspects of CNC fantasies and discuss how the growing emphasis on affirmative and enthusiastic consent might paradoxically be making these fantasies more popular than ever. I am joined once again by Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What does a CNC fantasy look like? What are some reasons people might be into CNC? What is the role of fear in sexual arousal? Why do people often struggle with feelings of shame around CNC fantasies, and how can they come to terms with it? You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People have the potential to develop fetishes for virtually anything. If you can think of it, somebody probably has a fetish for it! However, fetishes remain among the most misunderstood and stigmatized sexual interests. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the world of fetishes and dispel some common misconceptions about them. We’ll also discuss a new way of thinking about fetishes, as well as tips for how to communicate about fetish interests with a partner. My guest is Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is the advantage of thinking about fetishes as “something I have a taste for?” Where do fetishes come from? How important is it to know where fetishes come from? Does their origin really matter? Does having a fetish necessarily involve an exclusive attraction to a specific object? How can people incorporate fetishes into their sex lives in a healthy way? You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine for a moment that your partner told you they had a sexually transmitted infection. What should (and shouldn’t) you say or do in that situation?  That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode: tips for navigating a partner’s STI disclosure. Some of the topics we’ll explore include tips for keeping the conversation productive and not perpetuating STI stigma, how to manage a relationship where one partner has an STI and the other doesn’t, and what it means when someone in a long-term relationship suddenly tests positive for an STI. I am joined once again Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as a research and evaluation specialist for the Substance Misuse & Addiction Resource for Tennessee (SMART) Initiative at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: When a parter discloses an STI, how do you keep the conversation positive and productive? How do you manage a herpes, HPV, or HIV infection in dating and relationships? Does a partner suddenly testing positive for an STI necessarily mean they were cheating? Where can people go to learn more about managing and treating STIs? You can connect with Kayley on LinkedIn here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people find it hard to talk to their partners about sex in general. But discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) specifically can be even more challenging. It is such a fraught topic that many people who have STIs don’t even tell their partners. That’s why I’ve put together a two-part series for you on STI disclosure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to tell your partner you have an STI. In the next episode, we’re going to explore what to do when your partner tells you they have an STI. My guest today is Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as a research and evaluation specialist for the Substance Misuse & Addiction Resource for Tennessee (SMART) Initiative at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: At any given point in time, how many people have an STI? How many people who have an STI actually disclose this information? What are the main reasons people with STIs don’t tell their partners about their status? When is the right time to tell a partner that you have an STI? What are some strategies for bringing up the subject of STIs with a partner? You can connect with Kayley on LinkedIn here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“Life is short, have an affair.” That’s the tagline of Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to married people who are looking to commit infidelity. Ever since its launch in 2002, it has been the subject of endless controversy, culminating in a widely reported data breech in 2015. A Netflix documentary series titled Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies, and Scandal recently premiered and it is fascinating! In today’s show we’re going to dive into this series and talk all about infidelity, including why so many people cheat in the first place. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller (who bears no relation to Ashley Madison). She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do men’s and women’s reasons for infidelity differ? Why are so many people willing to risk everything in order to have an affair? What impact did the Ashley Madison hack have on the company and its users? Why does Ashley Madison seem more popular than ever despite the hack that destroyed so many people’s lives? You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

MILFs are having a moment. Sexy moms have been a fixture in the popular media for decades, but they’ve never been more popular than they are now. So what’s behind the appeal of the MILF? And is all of the attention they’re receiving objectifying or empowering to women?  Today, we’re going to trace the history of hot moms in the popular media and explore the rise of the MILF. We’re also going to dive into season two of the popular dumpster fire of a television series known as MILF Manor (for a recap of season one, see episodes 223 and 224). My guest is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we cover in this episode include: When did our cultural fascination with hot moms begin? What are the most common critiques of MILF portrayals in the media? How are broader changes in society and the social structure related to the rise in MILF popularity? How is season 2 of MILF Manor different from the first? How is MILF Manor changing the conversation about MILFs? You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Physical intimacy is one of the keys to maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships. But I’m not just talking about sex. Non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so! In today’s show, we’re going to explore why touch is so powerful and tips for introducing more touch into your relationships. We’ll also discuss why, paradoxically, intimate partners often retreat from touch at the times they need it the most—and how to deal with this. I am joined once again by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why do we need touch, and why are so many of us “touch-starved?” How can we open the door to intimate touch when we feel stressed? How can lovers experience more affection and physical intimacy in their relationships? What are some things that people can do to become better at both giving and receiving touch? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Erotic Touch Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most people say that they find oral sex to be a pleasurable activity, but that doesn’t mean that people always enjoy giving or receiving it. A quick search on social media reveals countless posts from people reporting on bad experiences with oral sex, so let’s talk about how to have better oral. In today’s show, we’re going to explore tips and techniques for amazing oral sex. We’ll also discuss what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex, how to make sixty-nining fun, and so much more. My guests today are Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect recipe for oral sex a myth? How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, such as boredom or discomfort? What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate your oral experiences? What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love to do? What are the essential factors that make oral sex great? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Did you know that July 31 is National Orgasm Day? That’s right—there’s actually a holiday dedicated to the big O! Unfortunately, we don’t get the day off of work, but we’re going to celebrate anyway. In commemoration of National Orgasm Day’s impending arrival, we’re going to be talking all about orgasms today. In this show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations on the topic: my interview with Dr. Barry Komisaruk which originally aired back in 2022. Barry is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University-Newark. He has published more than 180 research articles and has co-authored and edited five books, including “The Science of Orgasm,” which has been published in 7 languages. Some of the topics we explore include: How is an orgasm defined scientifically? What’s really happening in the brain during an orgasm? Do orgasms feel the same or different across genders? Why do some people experience orgasms from nipple or other non-genital stimulation? Can you teach yourself to have multiple orgasms? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest

Social media is increasingly where people are turning in order to learn about sexual health, from dealing with sex problems to coping with infertility. But is it giving us accurate information? Not so much. In today’s show, we’re going to tackle sexual health misinformation on TikTok and Instagram. We’re going to dive into what the science really says about popular sexual health claims on social media and talk about how to use these platforms in a more mindful way. I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education and is co-host of the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can social media be helpful (and harmful) to our sexual health? Why do the most popular social media posts often contain the least accurate information? What are some common things people get wrong about infertility and sexual dysfunction on social media? What is “semen retention” and why is there so much bogus information about it on social media? How can we become more informed consumers of social media? You can learn more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A growing number of men seem to be in a panic about their testosterone levels. Social media platforms are full of posts from guys who are convinced that they don’t have enough of this hormone in their bodies and that their sex and dating lives are suffering because of it. The result is that more and more men are seeking to boost their testosterone, and companies are eager to cash in on this by selling hormone supplements. But do these guys really have low testosterone in the first place? Are some of them pushing their hormones to dangerous levels? Today’s show is all about what men need to know about testosterone. My guest is Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education with the goal of improving the lives of men and their partners. He co-hosts the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What’s fueling all of this anxiety over testosterone levels in men? What percentage of men actually have low testosterone? Are there any risks of having too much testosterone in the body? How can men maintain healthy testosterone levels as they age? Is there any truth to the claim that abstaining from masturbation boosts testosterone? You can find more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For today’s show, we’re diving into more listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with falling asleep during sex and/or foreplay. Is that normal? And what are the reasons why that might happen? The second question involves whether premature orgasm is something that only men can experience, or if it can happen to women as well. So what does the research say on it? How many women experience this, and is there anything they can do if it’s interfering with their pleasure? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. Make sure to check out our previous episode where we respond to listener questions as well, which you can find here.  *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Stuck in a dating rut? It might be time for a new approach! In today’s show, we’re going to learn how to master the art of mindful dating, which involves taking a more intentional approach to relationship development. We’re going to explore the six pillars of mindful dating and how to put them into practice. We will also discuss tips for cultivating deeper connections and ways to increase your chances of finding lasting happiness. I am joined once again by Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does it mean to engage in mindful dating? Why is it important to clarify your “dating vision” when looking to find a partner? How do you build an empowering self-concept, and why is this important to do when dating? When using dating apps, what does “mindful swiping” look like? How can you learn to communicate in order to connect? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When you take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure or happiness, this is known as compersion. It’s a form of positive empathy that many people in non-monogamous relationships experience. However, some people seem to have an easier time feeling compersion than others. So can it be learned? And should compersion always be a goal in non-monogamy? Let’s talk about it! My guest is Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book: What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice where she supports people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why does compersion seem to come easier to some people? Does our ability to experience compersion change with age? Can you learn how to feel compersion if you’ve never felt it before? What are some different approaches to learning compersion? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It turns out that many of the things we think we know about sex aren’t entirely true. So let’s set the record straight and explore what we do and don’t know about sex and the human body. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations of all time, my interview with Dr. Lisa Dawn Hamilton that originally aired back in episode 53. Dr. Hamilton is an associate professor of Psychology at Mount Allison University in Sackville and host of the podcast “Do We Know Things?” Some of the topics we explore include: What do we actually know about the G-spot? Do we know what the average penis size really is? Does peeing after sex actually prevent UTIs? Does pubic hair grooming affect STI risk? Can men have multiple orgasms too? To learn more about Lisa Dawn and her work, visit doweknowthings.com. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From the vampires and werewolves in Twilight to Bigfoot to the beast from Beauty and the Beast, it turns out that a lot of people are turned on by the idea of getting it on with a monster. But why is that? Where do these attractions come from in the first place? In this episode, we’re going to explore the rich psychology that helps to explain why monstrous, mythical, and scary creatures can sometimes become turn-ons. I am joined once again by Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe based on research data from over 2,200 respondents. Ella was my guest in the previous episode, in which we explored people’s biggest monster crushes. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What physical or other attributes of monsters do people find arousing? To what extent do monster fantasies overlap with interest in kink and BDSM? What is the role of fear in sexual arousal? Why do monster fantasies seem to be particularly appealing to women and LGBTQ+ folks? How important is it for us to understand where our sexual fantasies come from? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When I studied the sex fantasies of thousands of Americans for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 33% of adults had fantasized about a monster or mythical creature before, such as a vampire, werewolf, or demon. Clearly, some people find monsters to be seriously sexy. So why is that? I have a two-part series for you on monstrous desire. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about who people’s biggest monster crushes are and explore the history of sexy monsters in the media. In the next episode, we’re going to get into the psychology behind attraction to monsters. My guest is Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe and presents research data from over 2,200 respondents. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does it mean to be a “monster f*cker?” How long have people been attracted to monsters? Which specific monsters are people into? Why are monsters often depicted in the media in erotic ways? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex toys and sexual wellness products for men have long been stigmatized, but it’s time to change that. There are numerous products on the market that have the potential to help men improve their sexual health and performance, and that includes penis pumps! In today’s episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into these devices. We’ll talk about how penis pumps can help in terms of improving sexual self-confidence and erectile health, how to use them correctly and safely, whether they can make your penis bigger, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a penis pump anyway, and how does it work? What are the benefits of using these devices? Compared to other erectile enhancers (e.g., medications, cock rings), what are the advantages of a pump? What are best practices for using a penis pump? What should someone consider when purchasing a pump? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In recent years, the pelvic floor is a topic that has received increased attention in the popular media. However, discussions of pelvic health tend to focus mostly on women. Male pelvic health is important for us to talk about, too, so that’s what we’re going to be discussing today.  In this show, we’re going to speak with a pelvic doc for the lowdown on why we need to pay attention to male pelvic health. We’re also going to do a deep dive into Kegel exercises for men. My guest is Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a pelvic health physical therapist? What’s so important about male pelvic health? What are the potential benefits (and risks) of Kegel exercises for men? How do you know whether Kegel exercises are right for you? How do men need to think differently about their pelvic health? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to having sex, there are a lot of “rules” that what we’re supposed to follow. But many of those rules contradict one another, making it hard to know what to do. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss whether we should even be following the “rules” of sex in the first place. We’re also going to explore how to increase your sexual self-understanding, as well as tips for having better sex. I am joined once again by Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are the six keys to good sex? What does it mean to approach sex as a performance, and how can we avoid this? Why is it actually a good thing to be a little bit selfish when it comes to sex? How can we learn to better assert our sexual desires and communicate boundaries? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of the relationship advice littering every corner of the internet tries to distill love into a simple set of “rules.” It’d be nice if things were that easy, but they aren’t! It’s time to ditch the so-called “rules” of relationships because they might be getting in the way of our ability to find love. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to approach relationships in a way that’s more likely to lead to lasting happiness, and how we can do it without losing our minds. My guest is Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are some examples of really bad relationship advice? When is relationship self-help actually helpful, and when is if harmful? Are our expectations for relationships today unrealistic? Are there any universal “rules” for healthy relationships? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Anal sex (and how to make it pleasurable) is one of those topics that people usually have to figure out all on their own. So think of today’s episode as the all-you-need-to-know guide to good anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include what you need to know about anal douching, how to choose the right lube, tips for preparing and relaxing so that you can experience pleasure instead of pain, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can paying attention to diet and nutrition help pave the way for more pleasurable anal sex? What do people need to know about anal douching in order to optimize health and pleasure? Why is dilating an important part of preparation before anal sex? What are the best kinds of lube for anal sex? What are some good beginner tips and techniques for penetration? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Anal sex is something humans have been practicing for thousands of years. However, is has long been shrouded in taboos, which has led to the proliferation of a lot of myths and misconceptions. In today’s show, we’ll be discussing common things people get wrong about anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include the myth of anal sex as “gay sex,” whether there’s any truth to the stereotype that anal sex roles correspond to power and gender roles, and whether there’s any truth to claims that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body. My guest is Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why is psychology an important aspect of pleasurable anal sex? Who is having anal sex? How risky is anal sex? Is receptive anal sex necessarily a “submissive” activity? What are the biggest things people get wrong about anal sex? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s Masturbation Month, so today’s episode is going to be all about self-pleasure! The origins of Masturbation Month date back to 1995, when US Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and something that should perhaps be taught in sex ed. Elders’ comments set off a political firestorm that ultimately led to her being fired. To mark her unjust dismissal, May 14 was declared National Masturbation Day, which was later expanded to include the entire month of May. For this show, we’re revisiting some of my favorite clips on the history and science of self-pleasure. My guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. Some of the questions this fascinating group of folks addresses for us include: How have views on masturbation changed over time? What do people fantasize about when they masturbate? Does abstaining from masturbation boost testosterone? Can avoiding sex and masturbation actually increase athletic performance? How can we have a healthier relationship with self-pleasure? Can masturbation help us to fall asleep faster? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For today’s show, we’re diving into listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with sensory changes that happen upon reaching orgasm. It seems that some people experience temporary sensory disruptions following climax, including changes in hearing and vision. What’s that all about? The second question involves what to do if you really want to have casual sex, but you seem to struggle with it because you always end up getting too attached. Is there anything you can do about that? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Modern psychology has a very complicated relationship with gender. Gender differences have become one of the most contentious areas in the field, and it seems like psychology isn’t entirely sure what to do with men anymore. This is especially true for heterosexual men, who are often viewed through a pathological lens. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into some controversy. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include why men are often blamed for their own sexual problems, why it’s important to acknowledge gender differences in communication styles, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Stephen Snyder, an AASECT certified sex therapist, relationship therapist, and sexual medicine specialist. Dr. Snyder is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and author of the book LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. Some of the questions we address include: How have the dynamics of heterosexual relationships changed over time? Why does the field of sex therapy have such a complicated relationship with men and male sexuality? What are some of the key differences in sexual psychology that are important for people to understand? You can learn more about Stephen and his work on his website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s best-selling penis pump, with over one million satisfied customers. The benefits of using Xersizer include improved erection quality, more staying power, and more intense orgasms. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of sex advice boils down to one popular idea: that good sex is simply a matter of combining the right physical sensations with the right kind of mental activity. In other words, great sex is just friction plus fantasy. However, it’s more complicated than that. To have really great sex, we need to start by understanding the true nature of the sexual self. In today’s show, we’re going to explore a new way of thinking about  sex, as well as discuss what you really need to know when it comes to having sex that’s truly worth having. My guest is Dr. Stephen Snyder, an AASECT certified sex therapist, relationship therapist, and sexual medicine specialist. Dr. Snyder is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and author of the book LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. Some of the questions we address in this episode include: What’s the problem with the “friction plus fantasy” narrative? How can understanding the sexual self as “infantile” help us find inspiration in long-term sexual relationships? What is “simmering,” and what’s the benefit of learning how to do it? Why might it be bad to view sex as work? How can you develop sexual connections that last over time? You can learn more about Dr. Snyder and his work on his website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex is something that evolves with us over the course of our lives. Your level of desire, the connection you have with your partner(s), and what feels good during sex can all shift quite a lot. However, despite all of these ways that sex tends to change, most of us are expecting that it will stay the same, and that’s where problems arise. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to adapt to and embrace sexual change so that you can have hot and healthy sex for your entire life. I am joined once again by Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and relationship therapist based in the United Kingdom. She runs the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast, and is author of the new book The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can we maintain a sense of sexual curiosity over time? What is sexual currency? Why is this concept important for understanding how to maintain a lasting sexual connection? How can taking a pause from sex provide an opportunity to reboot and reset your sex life? How do you build up sexual self-confidence following a breakup? How can we prioritize and maintain lifelong sexual well-being? You can learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s best-selling penis pump, with over one million satisfied customers. The benefits of using Xersizer include improved erection quality, more staying power, and more intense orgasms. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most sexual problems don’t require intensive therapy to solve because, more often than not, the root cause is a lack of sex education. Most of us never really learned what we need to know about sex or about our own bodies, which makes it all to easy for us to think that there might be something wrong with us when there really isn’t. So in today’s episode, we’re going to be answering some of the most common questions people have about sex. My guest is Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and relationship therapist based in the United Kingdom. She runs the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast, and is author of the new book The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered. Some of the specific questions we dive into include: What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? How do I know if I’m having “enough” sex? What’s the best time of the day to have sex? Do aphrodisiacs really work? You can learn more about Kate’s work by visiting her website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s STI Awareness Month, so let’s take some time to brush up on our knowledge of sexually transmitted infections. You may think you already know everything there is to know, but trust me, you don’t! In today’s show, we’re going to discuss some surprising and lesser-known facts about STIs that challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, is someone who has a larger number of sexual partners necessarily more likely to have an STI than someone with fewer partners? Likewise, are things like pubic hair grooming and the rise of online dating apps affecting STI rates? For this show, we’re revisiting my conversation with Dr. Ina Park from all the way back in episode 39. She is an associate professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine and author of the book Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs. Why is it the case that having more sexual partners doesn’t necessarily translate to having more STIs? Broadly speaking, how do some of our sexual practices shape STIs? What’s the relationship between pubic hair grooming and STIs? What are some tips for individuals who want to talk about STIs with a sexual and/or romantic partner? How can we break down STI taboo and stigma to facilitate more open conversations on the subject? You can learn more about Ina’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we talked all about how psychedelics can help in treating sexual problems. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the ethical and legal considerations of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. For example, how does consent work when patients are under the influence of a psychedelic drug? Likewise, how do therapists maintain appropriate ethical boundaries when working with clients who are in an altered and potentially vulnerable state? I am joined once again by is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we address this episode include: What kinds of safeguards do practitioners need to be thinking about in order to minimize the risk of harm when someone is undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy? What do people need to know about the potential side effects and health risks of psychedelic substances? What is the current legal landscape for psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? How do laws need to change in order to accommodate the practice of psychedelic therapy? What should you look for in a provider, and what are some red flags to watch out for? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We’ve long known that psychedelics have the potential to help treat various mental health issues, but researchers are starting to take notice of the potential therapeutic applications of these drugs for dealing with sexual difficulties. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the small but growing world of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. Some of the topics we’re going to discuss include how psychedelics can put us in the right state of mind for enjoying great sex, which psychedelics have the most promising applications for treating sexual difficulties, and what psychedelic-assisted sex therapy actually looks like. My guest is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and he is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we discuss include: What is a psychedelic anyway? How can psychedelics help create a feeling of presence during sex? What kinds of sexual problems have the greatest potential to be helped through the use of psychedelics? Does cannabis have the same therapeutic potential as psychedelics? What kinds of questions should someone think about before considering psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The term “ethical gangbang” probably sounds like an oxymoron to a lot of folks. Can a gangbang really be ethical? Let’s talk about it! In today’s show, I’m speaking with a porn director whose latest film features an ethical gangbang. Some of the topics we’ll dive into include how things like consent and safety are managed when filming a group sex scene, the difference between objectification and empowerment in adult films, and how consumers can identify ethical erotic content. I am joined once again by Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave her a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term “ethical porn” mean? What does an “ethical gangbang” look like? How are consent and boundaries maintained when shooting complex group scenes? How does a scene look or feel different when it’s empowering as opposed to when it’s objectifying? What should consumers look for if they want to support ethical porn? How are growing legal restrictions on porn shaping the industry? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? In today’s show, I’m going to be speaking with a director who has decades of experience creating adult films. We’re going to explore how she got into the business, her approach to making erotic cinema, and what she does to ensure the comfort and safety of performers. She is a pioneer in creating ethical and feminist porn, so we’re also going to talk about how her work has changed the landscape for adult films. My guest is Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What do both Hollywood and porn get wrong when to comes to depicting sex on screen? How is Erika’s approach to making adult films different from what people might be used to seeing in porn? What kind of reaction has ethical and feminist porn received from the broader male-dominated porn industry? What has changed in the world of porn in the last two decades? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Do you feel like work is getting in the way of your sex life? If so, you’re definitely not alone. Work can leave us tired or exhausted, heavily stressed, and highly distracted, which is a recipe for sexual problems. Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries? In today’s show, we’re going to talk all about the negative ways in which work can interfere with sex, why this happens, and how we can prevent it. We’re also going to talk about how to make sex a priority in your life so that you can harness the stress-relieving benefits of it. I am joined once again by Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: How can work-related stress interfere with sexual desire, arousal, and function? If you have a particularly high-stress job, what can you do to get your sex life back on track? What does work-life balance really look like, and is it realistic to attain? How can engaging in sex more often help us to deal with stress? What are some ways we can prioritize sex in our lives? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Seventy percent of adults have experienced one or more traumatic events in their lifetime, with sexual trauma being among the most common forms. There’s a popular narrative in the media that trauma fundamentally changes our bodies and brains, which can give the impression that trauma never resolves. However, there is hope. On today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to heal and move beyond sexual trauma. We’ll also talk about tips for navigating relationships when one partner has a history of trauma. My guest is Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: What does the term “sexual trauma” mean in a clinical context? What are some of the most common impacts of sexual trauma? How can individuals who have experienced trauma learn to reconnect with their bodies? What kinds of treatments do sex therapists use in cases of sexual trauma? How do you bring up the topic of trauma with a romantic partner? How can you be a supportive partner to someone with a history of trauma? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Interest in non-monogamy is on the rise, with nationally representative US surveys now finding that approximately one-third of American adults say their ideal relationship would be sexually open. But if you want to give this a try, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’ll explore the questions to ask yourself before opening up, as well as common issues that arise in multi-partner relationships and how to deal with them. My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Whether you’re currently single or in a relationship, what do you need to know before you start exploring non-monogamy? How do you set boundaries in multi-partner relationships? What can you do if jealousy pops up? If you’re practicing polyamory, how do you know when you’ve reached your saturation point? What is “new relationship energy,” and how do you prevent it from becoming an issue? What are some common red flags in poly and open relationships? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most reality dating shows follow the same formula in that they’re fundamentally about two people finding love and building a couple relationship. However, the new series Couple to Throuple offers a unique twist: viewers follow a group of queer, open-minded couples who are interested in expanding their relationships by bringing a third partner into the mix. This show has sparked a wide range of reactions among viewers, both positive and negative. So let’s talk about it! My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is this show different from anything else that has come before? What is the role of a sex and relationship expert on a show like this? What were some of the biggest issues that came up as couples explored what it might look like to be a throuple? Does this show offer an accurate depiction of polyamory? How can a show like Couple to Throuple contribute to broader conversations about relationship diversity and polyamory? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine that your genitals were in a constant, uncontrollable state of arousal. You might be thinking that doesn’t sound too bad, but you’d be mistaken. Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) is a highly distressing condition. People who have it live with unwanted arousal that doesn’t bring pleasure, and there’s almost no relief from it. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, to concentrate, work, and sleep. In this episode, we’re going to dive into what we know about PGAD, including how common it is, what causes it, and how it’s treated. I am joined once again by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What does PGAD look like in everyday life? What kind of effects does this have on people? How long have we known about PGAD, and how common is it? What causes uncontrollable genital arousal? Are there any treatments that work? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Antidepressants are notorious for their sexual side effects, including diminished sexual desire and difficulties with arousal and orgasm. It was long thought that these side effects were temporary; however, a growing number of people are reporting persistent sexual difficulties after discontinuing the medication, known as Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD). In today’s show, we’re going to discuss what we know about PSSD, including how common it is, what causes it, and what we can do about it. I am joined by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: How many people experience sexual side effects from antidepressants? What are the most common symptoms of PSSD? Is PSSD a formal medical diagnosis? Why is PSSD controversial? Are there any gender differences in PSSD? Why might SSRIs can cause long-term sexual dysfunction? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the not too distant past, most people followed the same relationship model and settled down into monogamous marriages pretty early in life. Today, however, people are spending more and more of their adult lives single, fewer are opting to marry at all, and those who do are waiting much longer to tie the knot. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into the modern sexual landscape and look at what people really want from relationships, including their attitudes toward casual sex, monogamy, non-monogamy, and infidelity. I am joined once again by Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How much has the marriage rate changed over time? Why are adults staying single for longer periods of time? If most singles want relationships, why does everyone seem to think that they don’t want them? Why are young folks increasingly concerned with telling a partner that they want to be exclusive? How many people in relationships are practicing monogamy vs consensual non-monogamy? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Learn to make time for what makes you happy. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Some of the most common sex questions I’ve received from listeners over the years include, “Am I having enough sex?” and “Am I masturbating too much?” While people are often very interested in how their sex life stacks up, the truth of the matter is that comparing yourself to other people can lead us astray because “normal” doesn’t mean just one thing when it comes to sex. In this episode, we’re going to explore diversity and variability in sexual behavior frequency. My guest is Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What percentage of adults engage in masturbation? How many have never done it? How many people had sex in the last year? How often do people usually have sex? Who has more sex: people who are single or married? Why are there more adult virgins today than there used to be? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you start scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll come across some anti-masturbation content. You’re likely to hear that masturbation is bad for your health, that it’s addictive, and that you should just say no to self-pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into what the science says about popular claims regarding the health benefits of semen retention, whether abstaining from masturbation actually boosts testosterone, whether you can really become “addicted” to masturbating, and so much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How (and why) have social media influences brought the idea of semen retention to the masses? Are there actually any health benefits to abstaining from ejaculation? Is an orgasm obtained from self-pleasure really any different from an orgasm obtained through partnered sex? Can women really become “addicted” to their vibrators? Is there an objective standard for what constitutes “too much” masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Private Internet Access VPN is the world’s most transparent VPN provider. They let you stay private online by hiding your IP address and encrypting your internet connection. Head over to PIAVPN.com/SexAndPsychology and get an 83% discount! That’s just $2.03/month and you get 4 extra months completely free. Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Human beings have a long and complicated history with masturbation. Although it was originally pursued without care or consequence, self-pleasure eventually came to be seen as a pathway to disease and one of the gravest sins you could commit. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the wacky history of masturbation, which is a timely topic because we’re currently in the midst of a social media fueled war on self-pleasure. I am joined by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where did the idea of masturbation as a sinful activity originate? What are some of the ways religious leaders have tried to discourage self-pleasure over the years? When did masturbation start to become a public health concern, and why? Why does self-pleasure continue to be a controversial topic to this day? How has the rise of social media coincided with a rise in negative views on masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People today are having less sex compared to generations past, but a greater proportion of the sex we’re having is casual. However, casual sex is something people have a lot of mixed experiences with, which points to a need for better education around it. So that’s what today’s show is all about. We’re going to explore how to set boundaries in casual relationships, the kinds of boundaries that are worth considering, the questions you should be asking yourself before you have casual sex, how to avoid awkwardness, and more. I am joined once again by Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it really mean to have “casual” sex anyway? What are the potential positive and negatives of casual sex? How do you know if casual sex is right for you? How do you establish boundaries with a partner you don’t know very well? What might a good model for communicating and maintaining sexual health look like if you’re in a casual relationship? How do you prevent drama in casual relationships? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There are literally tens of thousands of different sex toys out there to choose from, so how do you pick the toy that’s right for you? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about where to start when it comes to selecting adult toys and pleasure products, what to look for in terms of optimizing your own health and pleasure, whether it’s worth splurging on luxury toys, and so much more. My guest is Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Why is lube a great starting place for exploring toys? What should people be looking for when it comes to buying a lube that’s going to work for them? What are the different materials that are used to make sex toys, and what should you be looking for? If you’re new to buying vibrators, masturbation sleeves, or anal toys, what do you need to know for picking a good one? Are luxury sex toys worth it? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What are men’s and women’s most common sexual problems? And what can we do to address them? That’s what we’re going to be talking about on today’s show. I’m going to pick a urologist’s brain about the biggest sexual difficulties that she sees in her office and what her approach is to helping patients resolve them. Topics we’ll explore include premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, painful sex, and difficulty reaching orgasm. I am joined once again by Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the questions we discuss include: What would be a sign that someone needs to see a urologist for a sexual difficulty as opposed to another doctor or specialist? How can men delay orgasm and increase sexual stamina? What are some ways to improve erectile function to reduce the risk of erectile difficulties developing? What are some of the most common reasons for painful sex, and what are some potential ways of addressing them? What can you do if you seem to have a hard time reaching orgasm? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of men’s biggest sexual concerns is whether their penis is big enough. In fact, nearly half of adult men report dissatisfaction with their size, almost all of whom wish they were larger. This has led a growing number of men to explore what they can do to make their penises bigger, and an entire industry has popped up hoping to capitalize on this. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the many and varied approaches to penile augmentation, including which ones are supported by the science and the potential risks and rewards. My guest is Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Do any of the pills that promise to make your penis bigger actually work? Is there any benefit to penile stretching? How can penis rings and pumps help men who are worried about their size? Can dermal filler help to increase penis size? How does it work? If you’re concerned about your penis size, what do you really need to know? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us could benefit from having a little more pleasure in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom. However, we’re not getting that pleasure for many reasons, including the fact that we lead busy lives and just struggle to find time for it. So it’s time to change our mindset around pleasure and to start making it a priority. My guest today likes to say that you should do something that brings you pleasure everyday, so we’re going to explore how to do that. I am joined once again by award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What is pleasure? What are the benefits of seeking pleasure beyond just feeling good? How can we start to shift our mindset around pleasure and start to prioritize it without feeling guilty? What are ways to be more present during moments of pleasure so that we can really enjoy them? How can we have more pleasurable sex? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A surprising amount of sexuality research isn’t very sex-positive, and this is especially true when you look at sex research on minority populations. Historically, most of it has been focused on risks, such as STIs, unintended pregnancies, or risky sexual practices. While there’s certainly value to that work, when it becomes the predominant focus, it really inhibits our understanding of diverse people and sexualities. In today’s show, we’re going to focus on Black women’s sexuality and explore what sex-positive research focused on this population can tell us. My guest is award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How unbalanced is the study of sexuality when it comes to minority populations? Why is talking about race as a “risk factor” a problematic way of approaching sex research? How do Black women (and men) conceptualize pleasure? How common is sexual pain in Black women, and how do social and racialized expectations and scripts affect how pain is experienced for them? How does sexual fantasy and desire vary across racial and ethnic groups? How can we promote better, more equitable sex education and research? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

With Valentine’s Day being this month, love is in the air. So let’s talk about some tips for maintaining happy and healthy loving relationships all year long! In today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Terri Orbuch from Episode 73. We’ll talk about what you need to know, whether you’ve been together for a short or long time. We’ll also explore how to know when it’s lust or love, and so much more. Dr. Terri Orbuch is a distinguished professor at Oakland University and a research scientist at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. She is an author, speaker, and therapist known widely in the media as The Love Doctor for giving practical, science-based relationship advice. Her latest book is called “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships.” Some of the topics we discuss include: How do you know whether you’re really in love with someone? What’s the difference between lust and love? Is there value in the love languages concept? How can individuals make sure their partners know they love them? When is the right time to announce a new relationship? How do we dial down the pressure and make Valentine’s Day feel like fun instead of work? Make sure to check out Terri’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate whether you’re looking for one or not. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What are the keys to sexual and relationship satisfaction? It turns out that some of the most popular ideas out there about what makes for a healthy and happy intimate life just aren’t backed up by the science. So let’s explore what the data actually say when it comes to cultivating satisfying sex lives and relationships. In this show, we’ll answer questions such as whether having more sex will make you happier, whether spontaneous sex is better than planned sex, whether too much closeness inhibits desire, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Amy Muise. She is an Assistant Professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is Director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. She has published 121 articles and book chapters and has been awarded over $2.9 million dollars in research funding. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Is more sex necessarily better sex? How do people really feel about spontaneous sex and planned sex? Is sex that happens spontaneously actually better? What’s the link between closeness/intimacy and sexual desire? There’s this idea that women are the barometers of relationship satisfaction in heterosexual relationships (“happy wife, happy life”). Is there any truth to this? What are the costs and benefits of making sexual compromises in a relationship? Make sure to check out SHaRe’s website and Instagram to stay up-to-date on their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A growing number of people are living alone by choice—they simply prefer to live on their own. Many of them still have sex and relationships, but only on their own terms. They want freedom from the constraints of relationship labels and expectations, plus the ability to retain their autonomy and enjoy solitude when they want it. These folks are part of a growing movement and identity called “solos.” In today’s show, we’re going to explore what it means to go solo and how to live your best solo life. I am joined once again by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between being solo and being single? What are some of the different ways of being solo? Are there certain types of individuals who may be more well-suited to pursuing the solo life? How do solos engage in the process of relationship design? What does that look like? What are some of the keys to being solo and flourishing? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Over the last half-century, we’ve seen a dramatic change in people’s living and relationship arrangements. Specifically, more adults are living on their own, and fewer are getting married. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the rapid rise in single living around the world. We’ll take a look at the numbers and explore how attitudes towards singlehood and marriage are evolving. I am joined by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How have rates of marriage and single living changed in the US (and across the world) in the last 50 years? Which countries today have the most singles? What factors are propelling more people into singlehood? Why have traditional relationship models fallen out of favor? How much stigma is still attached to being single? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Almost everyone has sexual fantasies—and has them often. But most of us have questions about our fantasies, including what they really mean, how to share them with a partner, and how to go about turning them into reality. In this episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of fantasies. Among other things, we’ll discuss what to do when you have shame or trauma connected to your fantasies, how you can use technology to facilitate open communication about fantasies, as well as what you need to know if you’re thinking about acting on your fantasies. I am joined once again by Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between a sexual fantasy and a sexual desire? Do fantasies need to be elaborate or “fantastical” in order to count as fantasies? How can we get rid of the shame we may have surrounding our fantasies? What are some ways we can make sure our sexual needs and desires are prioritized? How can a newbie who is interested in threesomes or kink start exploring these fantasies? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s the sex life you have, and then there’s the sex life you want. So how do you actually get the one that you want? This is something a lot of people struggle with, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to explore tips for changing the relationship we have with ourselves, tips for changing the relationships we have with other people, as well as ways of simply making sex more fun. My guest is Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the topics we explore include: What is the “27 things” exercise, and how can it help you to get clarity on what you want from your intimate life? How can we better manage body image issues that are hindering desire for and enjoyment of sex? How can we avoid hopping on the “relationship escalator” with a partner who might not be meeting our needs? What are some ways to make planned sex good sex? How can we bring the fun back into sex? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A negative cycle starts when one partner in a relationship feels hurt and then says something critical. Then, the other partner feels hurt and responds in kind. This repeats over and over, and the hurt feelings escalate. In the last episode, we talked about why these cycles happen and how to identify them in your relationship. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to break the negative cycle, including things you should and shouldn’t say in these situations. I am joined once again by Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is telling your partner to “calm down” a bad idea in a negative cycle? Although being vulnerable during a fight might sound scary, how can this be helpful in resolving it? What is co-regulation, and how can understanding this concept help to combat negative cycles? How can you avoid the traps that lead us into negative cycles in the first place? How do you repair a relationship after a negative cycle? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, partners often find that they’re having the same fights over and over again. The fights are often triggered by something seemingly small, but then they have this way of escalating and turning into bigger conflicts that are wildly unproductive. This relationship pattern is known as a negative cycle. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into why negative cycles happen, how we create these patterns, and how you can start to recognize them. In the next episode, we’ll talk about how to break negative cycles. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is it that triggers negative cycles in relationships? What do negative cycles look like or feel like as they’re happening? Which attachment style pairings are most likely to lead to negative cycles? How can you tell the difference between negative cycles and abuse? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people want to bring change into their love life, but they feel stuck. They’re ready and eager for change, but they don’t know how to do it or how to get their partner on board. In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss practical tips for changing your relationship. We’re also going to talk about how to drop the societal imperatives that tell us what we should be doing and, instead, learn how to chart your own course. I am joined once again by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: If you’re ready for a change but your partner isn’t, how do you navigate that? How can partners work together to create and maintain a sexual connection that lasts? What are some new ways of exploring erotic pleasures with a partner? What is the “magic trick” for accessing ecstasy, and how can we apply it to our sex lives? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When a relationship is new, the sex usually comes pretty easy. However, as the years go by, partners often find that their sexual connection declines. This doesn’t have to happen, though. There are science-backed ways of creating and maintaining a sexual connection that lasts. In this episode, we’re going to explore the three characteristics of relationships that sustain intimacy, how to cultivate lust in long-term relationships, and much more. I am joined by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What do people actually want from sex, and why is that important to think about? Why is sexual novelty alone not quite enough to cultivate a strong connection? How is pleasure different from desire? How can creating an “emotional floorplan” make it easier for people to get into a lustful headspace? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Celebrate the progress you’ve already made with BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

New year, new sex life. The transition between years is always a good time to stop and reflect, and that includes thinking about your intimate life. How are things going? Are you getting what you want? Does it feel like something is missing? Depending on how you answered these questions, it might be time for a sex plan. We identify our goals and plan a lot of things in our lives, but we often don’t approach sex with that same intentionality. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Juliana Hauser from episode 155. Let’s make a sex plan! Juliana Hauser is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some practical things you can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment? How can resolutions to boost physical and mental health enhance sexual performance and satisfaction? How can you introduce more novelty into your sex life? What resolutions can help someone be more present during sex? What is a sex plan, and how can making one benefit you and your relationship(s)? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com and follow @drjulianahauser on IG. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

“The Five Love Languages” is a wildly popular, bestselling book that came out just over 30 years ago. Since its arrival, the love languages have become a massive cultural phenomenon. However, despite enormous popularity, there’s a surprising lack of scientific backing for the concept. In fact, research suggests that the key principles and ideas behind the love languages just don’t hold up. So is this still a useful framework for understanding love? Let’s talk about it. My guests today are Drs. Amy Muise and Emily Impett. Dr. Muise is an assistant professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. Dr. Impett is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and director of the Relationships and Well-Being lab. Amy and Emily have been close collaborators for nearly 14 years and they have published over 60 papers together on sexuality and relationships! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What are the five love languages? What’s the problem with claiming that there are only five languages to communicate love? Is there any evidence supporting the idea that people who speak their partner’s love language are happier in relationships? Are there more scientifically sound ways of understanding love than the love languages? Is it okay to still like the love languages idea even if the data don’t support it? Make sure to check out the Instagram pages for Amy and Emily’s labs, @share.research and @utmrawlab. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular tropes that you’re bound to encounter in writings about human sexuality is that men are simple, while women are complex. There’s a pervasive belief out there that sex is just easy for men in general because they’re always in the mood and sex is mostly a physical (not emotional) thing for them. The reality of male sexuality, however, is far more complicated, and we’re not doing anyone any favors by oversimplifying it. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into common myths about male sexuality. I am joined once again by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is the idea of male sexuality as “simple” a myth? How do beauty standards affect men, and what are the implications of this for sex, dating, and relationships? What do men who are anxious about their penis size need to know? Are men always supposed to be turned on and ready for sex? To what degree is sex emotional vs. physical for men? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of men feel insecure about their bodies and sexual performance despite the fact that they fall clearly within the normal range. It’s easy for them to feel like there’s something wrong when they’ve never really been taught what “normal” even means. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss common things people get wrong about men’s bodies and how penises function, as well as things that men and their partners should know when it comes to sexual pleasure. I am joined by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Is an erection always a sign of sexual arousal and interest? Are orgasm and ejaculation one and the same, or are they different things? Can men experience multiple orgasms? What do men need to know about sex toys and prostate stimulation? What does it really mean to have premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Every time a new year rolls around, people start making resolutions for self-improvement. As you start to think about your own resolutions, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of resolutions, you can address problem areas in the bedroom, rekindle the spark, and start to enjoy the best sex of your life! For today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, my interview with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, which appeared back in episode 67. Dr. Jess is a Toronto-based sexologist, author, speaker, and television personality. She is host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast and is the resident sexologist at Astroglide. In our original conversation, Jess and I spoke about how to keep the sexual spark alive all year long. Some of the topics we discuss include: How can you get more comfortable being vocal in bed? How can you suggest trying something new with your partner? Why is it important to expand your definition of sex? How can you incorporate more touch into daily life? What should you think about resolving to do (or not do) in your sex life in the new year? To learn more, check out Jess’s website and follow her on Instagram at @sexwithdrjess. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2351-lehmiller Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Digital sex work is booming. Over the last two decades, sex work has increasingly moved online and it has become a multi-billion dollar industry. The transition to online sex work is changing a lot of things about how sex work works, so let’s talk about it. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore how digital sex work is changing the kinds of services that are bought and sold, how workers create authentic interactions with clients online, how technology is changing the stigma around sex work, and more. I am joined once again by Kurt Fowler, an Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington and the author of The Rise of Digital Sex Work. Drawing on in-depth interviews with dozens of sex workers from around the world, this book explores how technology has changed the nature of modern sex work. Some of the topics we explore include: What kind of things do sex workers need to consider when deciding where and how to sell their services online? How does digital sex work allow for more creativity and flexibility in the kinds of services offered? How do online sex workers craft authentic personas and interactions with clients? How has the internet helped sex workers form a sense of community and social support? How is the stigma around sex work changing in the Information Age? You can learn more about Kurt’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What is it like to be a sex worker? It depends who you ask, with different studies pointing to drastically different conclusions. The truth is that you can’t paint sex workers in overly broad strokes. “Sex work” can mean a lot of different things, and working conditions and local laws vary, which means that different workers are bound to have different experiences. In today’s episode, we’re going to take an inside look into the world of sex work. I am joined by Kurt Fowler, an Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington and the author of The Rise of Digital Sex Work. Drawing on in-depth interviews with dozens of sex workers from around the world, this book explores how technology has changed the nature of modern sex work. Some of the topics we explore include: What all is included under the term “sex work?” Two major paradigms dominate research on sex work: the oppression paradigm and the empowerment paradigm. What’s the difference between these views? What are some of the common motivations for entering sex work? How do digital sex workers mitigate some of the unique risks that come along with working in online spaces? How is the experience of sex work different for people of different racial backgrounds? You can learn more about Kurt’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In some ways, teens today seem to be more sexually cautious. They’re waiting longer to have sex and they’re having fewer partners. At the same time, however, they’re also engaging in riskier sexual practices, with condom use declining and rough sex increasing. Sex education is as vital as ever, and it needs to reflect the sexual realities of today’s youth. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into what parents need to know when it comes to talking to their kids about sex. I am joined once again by Dr. Debby Herbenick, an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality researcher and AASECT-certified sexuality educator. She is a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and the author of five bestselling books about human sexuality. Her latest book is titled, Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: When is the “right” time to start discussing sex with your kids? What are some of the key topics parents should be covering? What can parents teach their kids about having healthy relationships? When and how should parents talk to their kids about porn? How is having “the talk” different if your kid is on the spectrum? You can visit Debby’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2350-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The sexual landscape for teens has shifted dramatically over the last two decades. Among the more notable changes we’ve seen are that rough sex is on the rise, and teens are increasingly exploring their sexuality online through sexting. In today’s show, we’re going to explore this evolving landscape and talk about what parents need to know, including how to become an “askable” parent, how to navigate uncomfortable questions, and what to do when you don’t have the answers. I am joined by Dr. Debby Herbenick, an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality researcher and AASECT-certified sexuality educator. She is a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and the author of five bestselling books about human sexuality. Her latest book is titled, Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: How is the sexual landscape different for today’s teens? What are some practical things a parent can do so that their kids feel comfortable coming to them with sex questions? How can parents approach questions about sex without shame and judgement? What should you do if your kid asks something that feels too personal? What are some practical ways that parents can explain consent to their kids? You can visit Debby’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the Information Age, keeping our private lives private is becoming harder and harder to do. For example, our online searches and chats are leaving digital traces, while our phones (and even our cars) are collecting information on where we go. All of this data is vulnerable, and there’s growing concern about the risk of our most sensitive personal information being exploited. In today’s episode, we’re going to focus on ways we can mitigate the risks of data surveillance and keep our personal information more secure. I am joined once again by Albert Fox Cahn. He is founder and executive director of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project (also known as STOP). He is also a Practitioner-in-Residence at N.Y.U Law School’s Information Law Institute and a fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Carr Center For Human Rights Policy and Yale Law School’s Information Society Project. As a lawyer, technologist, and activist, Albert has become a leading voice on how to govern and build the technologies of the future. Some of the topics we explore include: What are some practical ways individuals can keep their online data more secure? How safe (or unsafe) is it to use apps that track our health data, sexually and otherwise? For individuals traveling out of state to access legally available care that might not be available in their home state, are there any steps they can take to mitigate data surveillance? What steps can providers take to protect patients and clients when it comes to data that might be subject to government surveillance? What responsibility do tech companies have to offer more protection over consumer data? You can connect with Albert online on Twitter and Bluesky. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2349-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In 2022, the United States Supreme Court reversed a half-century old ruling that had legalized abortion in this country. Since then, reproductive healthcare has become more difficult to access in certain areas, prompting concern about technology being leveraged as a form of abortion surveillance and tracking. Text messages, Google searches, emails, and period-tracking apps all have the potential to be used against people seeking abortions. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how online surveillance of abortion is increasing and the effects this is having, as well as the broader risks of living in a time when there’s unparalleled surveillance of our private lives. My guest is Albert Fox Cahn. He is founder and executive director of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project (also known as STOP). He is also a Practitioner-in-Residence at N.Y.U Law School’s Information Law Institute and a fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Carr Center For Human Rights Policy and Yale Law School’s Information Society Project. As a lawyer, technologist, and activist, Albert has become a leading voice on how to govern and build the technologies of the future. Some of the topics we explore include: How has the landscape for abortion care in the United States shifted since Roe v Wade was overturned? In what ways is abortion care subject to surveillance? Are new surveillance practices having an effect on pregnant women’s decision making and feelings of agency? What are the implications of surveillance for accessing gender-affirming care? Can you be tracked when you travel to another state to access healthcare? You can connect with Albert online on Twitter and Bluesky. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we explored the life and times of Shere Hite, who published what is perhaps the bestselling non-fiction book about sex ever to hit the market. Despite selling 50 million copies, it has been largely forgotten in the half-century since its release.  However, it’s back in the spotlight again with the release of the new documentary The Disappearance of Shere Hite. In today’s show, I’m going to continue my conversation with the director of this film to dive into the story behind it. We’re also going to talk about why Shere’s work is more relevant than ever. I am joined once again by Nicole Newnham, the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning documentary producer and director behind The Disappearance of Shere Hite. This film premiered at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival is now playing in select theaters. Nicole also co-directed and produced the 2021 Academy Award-nominated documentary Crip Camp. In this episode, we discuss: What compelled the making of a documentary about Shere’s work? Why did this extraordinary woman and her work seemingly disappear? How did the media try to craft “gotcha” moments to discredit Shere? What are some lessons from the film, and Shere’s story, that are important in modern times? Visit sherehitedoc.com to find out where The Disappearance of Shere Hite is playing near you. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2348-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There are a lot of hidden figures in the history of sex research who made important contributions to the field, but who are frequently forgotten. One of them is Shere Hite, who authored the best-selling non-fiction book on women’s sexuality titled The Hite Report in 1976. This book sold 50 million copies, a figure that puts it among the 30 bestselling books of all times! However, there’s a good chance you’ve never heard about this book or the author behind it. Enter The Disappearance of Shere Hite, a new documentary about the life and times of an extraordinary woman who dared to study women’s sexuality and whose work remains as radical and revolutionary as ever. My guest today is Nicole Newnham, the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning documentary producer and director behind The Disappearance of Shere Hite. This film premiered at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival is now playing in select theaters. Nicole also co-directed and produced the 2021 Academy Award-nominated documentary Crip Camp. In this episode, we discuss: Who was Shere Hite and what was she most well-known for? What is The Hite Report about and how did Shere go about collecting her data? What are the major findings of The Hite Report? How (and why) did people try to discredit The Hite Report? After two decades in the media spotlight, why did Shere disappear? Visit sherehitedoc.com to find out where The Disappearance of Shere Hite is playing near you. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What does the future hold when it comes to sex toys? Artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and robotics are just a few of the many emerging technologies that are likely to become an increasingly big part of the way that we experience pleasure. In this episode, we’re going to explore the high-tech pleasure products of the future. I am joined one again by Sarah Tomchesson, who works as a sex educator, sex toy evangelist and podcast host. Sarah is Lovehoney’s Resident Sexual Wellness Advisor and hosts free monthly workshops through Lovehoney.com. Sarah’s podcast, F*ck Yeah, disrupts traditional ideas about sexuality and relationships, and her online education program, Pleasure Practices, supports cultivating personal power through pleasure exploration. Some of the topics we discuss include: How do app-connected sex toys open up new opportunities for pleasure? How might AI revolutionize sex toys? How does virtual reality have the potential to completely change the way we interact with and experience sex toys? How can technology make sex toys more accessible? How can sex toys help us to monitor our sexual health? For more to listen to, you can check out Sarah’s podcast here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase.  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2347-lehmiller Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you’re looking to take your sex life to the next level, something you might want to think about it is trying more sex toys! Sex toys have the potential to make sex, both solo and partnered, even better. And if you’ve never used sex toys before, we have you covered. The sheer number of options out there can be overwhelming, so we’ll discuss some good places to start if you’ve new to the idea of bringing toys into the bedroom. I am joined by Sarah Tomchesson, who works as a sex educator, sex toy evangelist and podcast host. Sarah is Lovehoney’s Resident Sexual Wellness Advisor and hosts free monthly workshops through Lovehoney.com. Sarah’s podcast, F*ck Yeah, disrupts traditional ideas about sexuality and relationships, and her online education program, Pleasure Practices, supports cultivating personal power through pleasure exploration. In this episode, we discuss how sex toys can assist in: Understanding yourself as a sexual person and uncovering new pleasure sources Increasing/improving sexual communication Providing stress relief Building up sexual self-confidence Closing the orgasm gap For more to listen to, you can check out Sarah’s podcast here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How can I have better, hotter sex? This is a super common question people have about their intimate lives, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. In this episode, we’re going to walk you through what you need to know about taking your sex life to the next level. I am joined once again by both Amy Baldwin and April Lampert. Amy is a sex and relationship coach, as well as a certified sex educator. April is Vice President and co-owner of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company. Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, and the brand new book Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You’ve Been Waiting For. Some of the topics we explore include: How can you figure out what it is that you really want from sex? How can you use your sexual fantasies as a source of inspiration? How can changing your sexual mindset open the door to greater pleasure? How can you make sex great again when the old ways stop working? What are some healthy ways to introduce new things in the bedroom? How can couples “keep the fire burning” in the bedroom for the long run? You can learn more about Amy and April on the Shameless Sex website.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase.  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2346-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

This week on the show, I have a special treat for you: I’m speaking with the co-hosts of the Shameless Sex Podcast, which is one of the most-listened to sexuality podcasts in the world! They have just released a book that captures all of the wisdom they’ve accumulated on their podcast over the years. So we’re going to do a deep dive into it and teach you how to have shameless sex! My guests are Amy Baldwin and April Lampert. Amy is a sex and relationship coach, as well as a certified sex educator. April is Vice President and co-owner of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company. Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, and the brand new book Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You’ve Been Waiting For. Some of the topics we explore include: What does it mean to have “shameless sex”? Who is this book for, and what can readers hope to get out of it? If you’ve ever asked yourself “am I normal?” or “am I broken?” what do you need to know? What can you do when you and your partner feel like you’ve fallen out of synch in the bedroom? How can you communicate about sex with your partner in a healthy way? Learn more about Amy and April on the Shameless Sex website.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s November again, which means that the annual abstinence challenge known as “No Nut November” is back in full force. This challenge originated on Reddit several years back and it seems to spread and bring in new participants each year. The basic idea is that you’re not allow to masturbate or otherwise orgasm for the entire month, and it seems to be rooted in the idea that self-pleasure is inherently bad for you. But is that really the case? In today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s “Essential Listens,” my interview with Dr. Eric Sprankle back in episode 96. Eric is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His first book comes out next year and is titled DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. In our original conversation, Eric and I talked all about the history of masturbation and some of the myths surrounding masturbation today. Some of the topics we discussed include: What makes masturbation in humans unique compared to other species that do it? What kinds of masturbation “cures” were used in the past to discourage this behavior? What do we think about when we engage in self-pleasure? Does abstinence actually boost testosterone levels? How can we have a healthier relationship with porn and masturbation? To learn more, check out Eric’s website and check out my other conversation with Eric about navigating sexuality and religion in Episode 98. Thank you to our sponsors!  Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase.  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2345-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Ever since people started having sex, they had kinky sex. While kink itself is not new, kink practices have certainly changed over time, as have people’s opportunities to explore and experiment with kink. This is especially true in the modern digital era. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how technology has opened up new ways for people to explore their kinks, whether technology itself is making us kinkier, and where kinky interests come from in the first place. I am joined once again by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times with an in-depth analysis of the pup play subculture. Some of the topics we explore include: How is kink defined? How far can we trace back the kinky history of the queer community? How has the mainstreaming of kink (i.e., the Fifty Shades phenomenon) changed the research on kinky sex? Why at a time when heterosexuals are more openly embracing kink do we see a lot of LGBTQ+ people trying to hide it? Why has kink suddenly become controversial at LGBTQ+ pride events? Is technology making us kinkier? You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here. You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8 Thank you to our sponsors!  The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences, meaning that what you see is what you feel. To learn more visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych.  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Watch for presentations and papers from Kinsey Institute faculty and students at this month’s meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, which will be held in New Orleans. Learn more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Some folks who frequent kink and BDSM spaces have observed that there seems to be a higher percentage of neurodiverse persons compared to other social settings. So is there actually a link between neurodiversity and kink? In today’s show, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research that looks at how neurodiversity, specifically in the form of autistic traits, is linked to engaging in the kink subculture of pup play. I am joined by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His recent book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times. Some of the topics we explore include: What does it mean to be neurodivergent? How prevalent is neurodivergence in the general population? What does pup play look like and why are some people into it? Why might there be a link between autism and kink in general? What specifically about pup play might be appealing to neurodivergent individuals? Why is there so little research on neurodiversity and sexuality? You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here. You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8 Thank you to our sponsors!  Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase.  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2344-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s a lot of research out there on the subject of anal sex; however, surprisingly little of it has focused on how women feel about this activity. Fortunately, a large nationally representative study of women’s experiences with anal touch recently came out that sheds important light on the subject. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the results and discuss how many women have explored anal stimulation, their preferred forms of anal touch, tips for experiencing more anal pleasure, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior. Some of the topics we explore include: How many women have engaged in some form of anal stimulation? Why is it important to explore different forms of anal touch beyond penile-anal penetration? What are anal surfacing, anal shallowing, and anal pairing? Which forms of anal touch do women find to be most pleasurable? What are some of the dos and don’ts of anal sex when it comes to pleasure and safety? You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on anal touch here. Thank you to our sponsors!  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Some women experience a large expulsion of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm, often referred to as squirting. Although this is by no means a new discovery, the nature of the fluid, what it’s called, and where it originates in the body have been subject to much debate. So let’s talk about it! In today’s show, we’re going to explore the science of squirting by looking at results from a nationally representative survey on the subject. We’re going to discuss how squirting is different from female ejaculation, what we know about how and why it happens, how common it is, the surprising diversity in squirting experiences, and more. I am joined by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior. Some of the topics we explore include: How is “vaginal squirting” defined? Where does the fluid involved in vaginal squirting come from? How prevalent is squirting? How many women have experienced it before? What are some of the various ways that a woman might experience squirting? Is squirting something that every woman is potentially capable of? You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on squirting here. Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2343-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Polyamorists tend to be stereotyped and portrayed in the popular media as pretty liberal bunch. However, it turns out that they’re actually quite diverse in their political views. This isn’t surprising when you start to trace the history of the modern polyamory movement in America, because what we see is that it actually has strong libertarian roots. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the fascinating (and surprising) intersection between polyamory and politics, including how libertarian science fiction writers in the 1960s helped turbocharge interest in polyamory. I am joined once again by Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History. Some of the topics we explore include: Who was Robert Heinlein, and what impact did his sci-fi book Stranger in a Strange Land have on American polyamory? Ayn Rand is an author known for shaping right-wing thought, but her work was influential to polyamorists during the sexual revolution. What’s the story there? How did a return to sexual conservatism in the 1980s lead to an organized polyamory movement? Why is there a heated debate in the poly community about whether polyamory is about sex versus connection and spirituality? Are individuals on the political left more likely to embrace polyamory as an identity than those with other political views? To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Believe it or not, the term “polyamory” has only been around for a little over 30 years. However, while the name itself is still relatively new, the practice of it definitely isn’t. Although people were living polyamorous lives long before we ever had this name for it, the way people practice it has morphed and changed over time. So let’s dive into the long and fascinating history and evolution of polyamory in the United States. My guest today is Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History. Some of the topics we explore include: When did the term polyamory first enter the mainstream, and what were people calling it before that? Who were the first people practicing something that looks like what we might call polyamory today? How did countercultural religious movements in the 1960s and 70s shape the practice of ethical non-monogamy? How did the advent of the internet impact the polyamory movement? How have portrayals of polyamory evolved in the media, and how does this shape people’s views and attitudes towards it? To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2342-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As I look back on all of the amazing guests and conversations we’ve had on this show, I’ve begun to curate a list of ”essential listens.” These are the shows that are often a sexual revelation because they get people to think about or understand their own sexuality in a new way. One of these essential listens is my “sex on the brain” interview with award-winning author Emily Nagoski from episode 48. Emily wrote the bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. She is also coauthor of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Emily’s new book, Come Together, is currently available for preorder. In our original conversation, we explored the brain mechanisms that underlie sexual response in a way that can help people to better understand their own sexuality—and why it might be really different from that of their partner. Some of the topics we discussed include: What is the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response and why is it crucial to understanding our own sexuality? Why do many people (but especially women) sometimes experience a disconnect between genital arousal and psychological arousal? What’s the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire? How can a better understanding of how our brains work unlock sexual pleasure? To learn more, listen to our full conversation in episode 48 and check out Emily’s website. Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

I’ve received countless emails from people who have discovered that their partner has a kink they didn’t previously know about—and, now, they’re not sure what to do because they’re not into it. So what do you do when you’re a vanilla person and it turns out that your partner has a kinky streak? The fact that you both want different things from sex doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, so let’s talk about how to make it work. I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. Some of the topics we explore include: For people who are worried that they’re “too vanilla,” what do they need to know? How can people better navigate the strong feelings they might have when discovering a partner’s kink? When partners have different fantasies and desires, how do you find common ground? How can opening up a relationship help partners bridge a sexual desire discrepancy? Is it always possible to make things work when partners want very different things from sex? To learn more, check out Sefani’s website. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2341-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From the rise of online dating, to internet porn, to sexting and cybersex, our intimate lives are increasingly digital. Although it’s undoubtedly great that we have these new ways to connect and explore our sexuality, we now need to content with a host of novel challenges, especially around issues of privacy and safety. Any time we explore our sexuality online, we’re leaving a digital trace. So who has access to this information? How do we keep it secure? Today, we’re going to talk about how to leverage technology to enhance our intimate lives while also staying safe. I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is cybersecurity such an important topic to discuss in relation to online sexuality? What are some ways that technology can give our sexual and intimate lives a boost? What can we be doing better to ensure our privacy and security in digital spaces? How can we minimize some of the risks around AI and sexuality? What kinds of challenges has the move to a digital economy created for sex workers, educators, and therapists? To learn more, you can check out Sefani’s website. Also, if you’re looking for a “USB condom” (i.e., data blocker) like Stefani recommends, see here. Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual consent is not as simple and straightforward as it might sound. It’s actually a complex and highly nuanced concept that means different things to different people and is communicated differently across contexts and relationships. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how we can do better when it comes to obtaining consent, how to make consent sexy, tips for better sexual communication, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: How is consent usually depicted in the popular media, and how does this line up with reality? How can you go about obtaining consent without taking the excitement and spontaneity out of sex? How has the language around sexual consent evolved in recent years? Is it realistic to think that everyone will practice enthusiastic consent? What is the three-step consent process? What else should we be talking about when it comes to understanding and improving sexual communication? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website.  Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2340-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s a growing narrative out there in the popular media and on social media that “men are trash” and that they need to “do better.” The response of some men has been to push back, and this has led to the rise of the “manosphere,” an online network of men’s rights activists pushing back against feminism. Tensions are quickly rising, so let’s talk about it. In today’s show we’re going to explore how the issues facing men have changed, what it means to be a “better man,” and more. My guest is Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: What was the inspiration for writing The Better Man? What are some common things people get wrong about testosterone and what it means for male sexuality? As a society, how can we help men “do better” without pushing them into radical communities? How have the struggles that men are dealing with changed over the past 15 years? How can men go about unburdening themselves from sexual shame and reclaim their sexuality? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website.  Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In both porn and pop culture, we’re increasingly seeing women strapping on dildos and anally penetrating men, a sex act known as pegging. So what’s behind this growing trend? Let’s talk about it. In the last episode, we discussed the ins and outs of anal sex generally. Today, we’re going to dive further into the subject by exploring the popularity of pegging, the role of the prostate in sexual pleasure, tips for using sex toys during anal play, as well as what you need to know when it comes to douching and finding the right lube. I am joined once again by Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is prostate stimulation such a big part of anal pleasure for men? What are some of the reasons why women might enjoy anal sex? What is the appeal of pegging to heterosexual men? How might someone introduce the idea of anal play to a relationship partner? If you’re worried about anal sex potentially being messy, what can you do about that? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2338-lehmiller  Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite the fact that anal sex has become an increasingly common sexual activity, it’s a subject that continues to be ignored in almost all sex education. As a result, people generally have to learn about it all on their own, and there can be a bit of a learning curve. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to approach this activity in ways that are safe and pleasurable, as well as some common myths and misconceptions surrounding it. My guest is Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: How many people practice anal sex? Why do people engage in anal sex? What do they get out of it? Is there any truth to the idea that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body? What should someone do if they experience pain during this activity? If someone is interested in trying anal sex for the first time, what do they need to know? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s one thing to visit a sex shop, but it’s quite another to stand behind the counter! Working in one of these stores can be a very fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging due to the wide range of customers. A lot of the people walking through the door might be feeling embarrassed. Some might have a complicated relationship with their own sexuality. And others will be rude or immature. So what’s it actually like to work in a sex shop? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of it all. I am joined once again by Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her new book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, was the focus of the previous episode. Some of the topics we explore include: How is working in a sex shop like being an amateur sex therapist? What kind of training and sex ed do these shops provide to employees? What are some of the most fun and rewarding aspects of working at a sex shop? How does a lack of sex ed contribute to poor customer behavior in these shops? How can selling sex toys be a liberating experience, both for the seller and customer? How did the arrival of 50 Shades of Grey change what it’s like to work in a sex shop? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

At the beginning of the 20th century, burlesque shows featuring stripteases took the United States by storm. They played on Broadway and were popular across the country. By the end of the century, though, they had all but disappeared. However, burlesque has since made a comeback and is arguably more popular than ever. So let’s dive into the world of modern burlesque! I spoke with a burlesque performer about how she got into the business, the role and meaning of nudity in her performances, how audiences react to her shows, and so much more. My guest is Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her debut book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, is set for release next month. Some of the topics we explore include: At its core, what makes something a burlesque performance? What are some of the different meanings of nudity for burlesque performers, and how is this communicated to the audience? What does the process of preparing for a burlesque show look like? How do local laws limit what performers can do in their acts? How (and why) do people’s opinions about burlesque differ from other forms of sex work? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

MILF is one of the most searched for terms on popular porn sites year after year. So why are so many heterosexual guys drawn to hot, middle-aged mother figures? In the previous episode, we talked a bit about why older women are drawn to younger guys; so in this show, we’re going to explore the opposite perspective. We’re also going to dive a little further into the reality series MILF Manor and discuss why you can make a show about older women seeking younger guys, but you could never make a show about older men seeking younger women. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s Your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: Why do so many young guys find MILFs to be so hot? What actually makes someone a “MILF” anyway? Is it about age? Confidence? Something else? Why are age-gap relationships becoming more acceptable when the older partner is a woman, but less acceptable when the older partner is a man? We also explore the wide range of reactions the male contestants had to being on MILF Manor, what this show tells us about sex ed and sexual communication, the sexual double standard, and more. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2337-lehmiller Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Whenever an older female celebrity dates a younger guy, it tends to make the news. These women, often referred to as “cougars” or “MILFS,” have long had their relationships subject to scrutiny and stigma. However, the narrative around them has shifted, and nowadays, they’re frequently celebrated in the media. Case in point: the recent arrival of the popular reality series MILF Manor, a show in which a group of middle-aged moms date each other’s sons. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into why so many older women are into younger guys, what their relationships are like, and do a little analysis of MILF Manor. My guest today is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She hosts a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: How common are age-gap relationships? Why might an older heterosexual woman want to date a significantly younger guy? Is MILF Manor a sign of progress, or is it feeding stereotypes around women and aging? We also explore the dynamics between moms and their sons on the show, the unrealistic beauty standards older women are held to, and why a show that was designed to facilitate sexual and romantic connections struggled to produce matches. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the city of Berlin, Germany? There’s a good chance that you pictured a kinky nightclub. It’s estimated that as many as 1 in 3 visitors to Berlin goes specifically for these clubs. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how Berlin became a hub for kinky nightlife and discuss what it’s actually like inside two of Berlin’s most famous spots, the KitKat Club and Berghain. We’ll also take a look at how consent works in a sex club and give you some pro-tips on getting into Berlin’s clubs because they’re known as being notoriously difficult to enter. I am joined once again by Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What role did the Berlin wall play in leading the city to become a nightlife hotspot? What could someone expect to see or experience if they visited KitKat or Berghain? What is a dark room, and why are they so common in Berlin and across Europe? How does consent work in sex club and group sex environments? How do Berlin’s clubs deal with privacy when everyone has a smartphone? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2336-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Earlier this year, I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Berlin. As part of that trip, we took a three-hour guided tour on Berlin’s sexual history, and it was fascinating! I wanted to share what we learned with you, so I invited our wonderful tour guide onto the show to give us the highlight reel. In this episode, we’re going to chat about the roots of Berlin’s sexual liberation, which trace back more than a century. We’ll also discuss the history of sex research and therapy in Germany, which is equally fascinating. My guest is Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we explore include: How can Berlin’s modern reputation for sex-positivity be traced back to the Roaring 20s? Who was Magnus Hirshfeld, and why is he a pivotal figure in the history of sex? How did the Nazis’ rise to power alter the sexual landscape in Germany? How did the post-WWII era shift towards sex-positivity in Berlin? Are attitudes towards sex in Berlin becoming more conservative today? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We live in an era where the preferred treatment for most health issues, including sexual problems, is increasingly a pill. However, this medicalized approach frequently overlooks the root cause. At their core, sex problems often stem from feelings of shame or guilt, inadequate sex ed, and mistaken ideas about what’s “normal” with regard to sex and the human body. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the problem with overmedicalizing sex problems, as well as the tricky business of defining what constitutes a sexual “disorder” in the first place. I am joined once again by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: What do we mean when we say the “medicalization of sex?” How can searching for a biomedical cure to all sexual difficulties be problematic? How has the conceptualization of sexual disorders changed over time? Is it even possible to create objective definitions of sexual disorders? How common are sexual difficulties, really? To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2335-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.

Condoms are one of the best tools we have available for protecting our sexual health. However, modern condoms leave something to be desired. It is so easy to point to problems with condoms that make them difficult to use, that increase the odds of making mistakes, and that reduce sexual pleasure. Better education around condoms could reduce some of these problems, but we also need to start building better condoms! So in today’s show, we’re going to talk all about condoms, including why it seems harder than ever to get people to use them and how to best promote correct and consistent usage. My guest is Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: Why is it harder to get people to use condoms today than it was a few decades ago? What are the most common condom mistakes/errors people make? How can we make condom use more pleasurable? Why does it seem so hard to build better condoms? Which interventions are most effective at promoting correct and consistent condom use? To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.

There is undoubtedly a dark side to dick pics, such as when they’re sent without consent or used as a form of harassment. However, when shared consensually, there’s a positive side worth acknowledging. This is the second part in a 2-part series on the psychology of dick pics. In the last episode, we talked all about the dominant (and negative) narratives we hear in the popular media about these photos. So, today, we’re going to talk about the rarely discussed positive side of consensual dick pics, as well as what makes for a good dick pic in the first place (hint: put a little effort into it!). I am joined once again by Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean to think about dick pics reparatively? How can dick pics be an avenue to intimacy? What do women say are the qualities of a good dick pic? How can dick pics help men construct a positive sense of self? If you’re thinking about sending a dick pic to someone, what do you need to know? To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2334-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written on the Sex and Psychology blog was about why so many men send unsolicited dick pics to women. At the time, there wasn’t much research on the subject, but the data suggested that guys who do this are either clueless or narcissistic (or worse). This has fed a growing (and extreme) online narrative that all dick pics are bad, even when they’re sent consensually. So let’s take a closer look at the dick pic. I have a two-part series for you about the science of dick picks. In this show, we’re going to focus on the cultural history of the dick pic and the four most common narratives we hear about dick pics in the media. Next time, we’re going to talk about a new way of thinking about dick pics, as well as their positive side when shared consensually. My guest is Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: Why write a whole book all about dick pics? How do you secure government funding for research when you’re doing the “dirty work” of studying sex? How has the cultural history of the penis shaped modern attitudes towards it? What are the four themes about why men send dick pics that dominate academic work and public discourse? Are dick pics always a form of harassment? Are men who send dick pics narcissists? To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.

There is an “awakening of self” that happens when people practice non-monogamy. This awakening has the potential to be exciting and exhilarating, but also frightening and destabilizing because you and your partner(s) may change in ways that you never anticipated. In today’s show, we’re going to explore a helpful model for understanding where each partner is during a relationship transition. This framework can serve as a useful practical guide when it comes to navigating the challenges that occur in the process of opening up or when exploring a new form of non-monogamy. I am joined once again by Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include: What does an “awakening of self” look like? How can opening up a relationship change you? What are the 5 different stages in the process of self-awakening? Why do partners sometimes move in different directions during a self-awakening? In what ways is self-awakening a positive experience? In what ways is it painful? To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David’s websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Thinking about opening your relationship? Get help from Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex and relationship education directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2333-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We tend to be attracted to partners who are similar to us—and that makes sense. But no matter how similar you and your partner are, there are always going to be some areas where you differ. And while those differences have the potential to help a relationship thrive, they can also drive you apart. So let’s talk about navigating differences in relationships. In this episode, we’re going to focus on dealing with differences when you’re in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, but a lot of the information is applicable no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. My guests today are Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include: How important is similarity in relationships? How can opening up a relationship amplify differences between partners? How do you navigate communication differences in relationships? Why is it important for partners to do an inventory of their similarities and differences? How can non-monogamy help relationships thrive when big differences exist between partners? To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David’s websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

If you ask any sex educator, researcher, or therapist what the most common question they receive is, they’re probably going to have a very quick answer. People ask us a LOT of sex questions—and the same ones have a tendency of popping up over and over again. So let’s talk about some of the most common things that people ask us about! I am joined once again by Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the questions we answer in this episode include: Does penis size really matter? How much is “too much” when it comes to masturbation? What are some healthy ways to share your sexual interests with a partner? Does “body count” matter? Should we care about the number of people our partners have had sex with? If you’ve never had an orgasm before or are not sure if you’ve had one, what do you need to know? To stay connected, you can check out DB’s website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB’s workshop “Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand” here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore your kinky side with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2332-lehmiller Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Making a sustainable living as a sex educator is harder than it sounds. Despite all you’ve heard about how “sex sells,” it’s actually a much tougher sell than you might think! There are a lot of challenges to navigate when you’re talking about a controversial subject like sex on a daily basis, so let’s talk about being in the business of sex and how to build a thriving career in this area. My guest today is Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some common challenges of trying to “sell” sex education? How do you talk about sex on social media without getting censored or banned? How can you build a financially sustainable business as a sex educator? How do you balance building industry relationships without giving away too much for free? What are some of the best parts of being a sex educator? To stay connected, you can check out DB’s website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB’s workshop “Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand” here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securitysexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people have ideas about sex therapy that are totally wrong. For example, some people seem to think that the therapist is going to be having sex with you, or that they’re going to watch you have sex. This could not be further from the truth! So let’s talk about what sex therapy is and isn’t. In this show, we’re also going to explore who sex therapy is for, how long it typically lasts, how well it works, and much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some common things people get wrong about sex therapy? When someone visits a sex therapist for the first time, what might that first session look like? How long might someone expect to be in sex therapy to resolve a sexual problem? Who is a good candidate for sex therapy? What does couples sex therapy look like? How successful is sex therapy at treating and resolving sexual and relationship difficulties? To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Looking for a sex therapist? Check out this page for a handy list of therapist locater tools. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/lm2331-lehmiller  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The most commonly offered piece of sex advice I hear people give is to communicate more. While this advice certainly makes sense, simply telling people to “communicate more” can ring kind of hollow if it’s not coupled with information on how to do it. Most of us recognize the importance of communication; however, we don’t always do it because we often lack communication skills. So let’s talk about how to talk about sex! I am joined once again by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. Along with Jennifer Vencill, Lauren is co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which we covered in the previous two episodes. Some of the topics we discuss include: How can partners get in the habit of talking about sex without it being a source of anxiety? What are some strategies for bringing up sexual difficulties with a partner? How can we express our “no’s” and hear a partner’s “no’s” in more productive ways? What are some healthy ways to share our fantasies and desires with a partner? How can you leverage non-verbal communication to express your sexual wants and needs? To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren’s website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we talked about sexual desire discrepancies, which occur when partners want different amounts of sex in a relationship. In that show, we focused on how to navigate this situation when you’re the partner with less sexual desire. Today, we’re going to focus on the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner with more sexual desire. No matter which side of the desire discrepancy you’re on, it can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are lot of tips and strategies you can explore to help bridge the divide. My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include: What is the role of gender in sexual desire discrepancies? What does it mean to have “high libido” anyway? How can looking at your own motivations for sex help manage discrepant desire? What are the roles of self-pleasure and consensual non-monogamy in navigating desire discrepancies? What can a high-desire partner do to be supportive of a partner who might have lower desire due to trauma? To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term sexual relationships, partners aren’t always on the same page about sex. This is normal. However, when a sexual desire discrepancy becomes large and persistent, it can become a significant source of conflict and distress. So let’s talk about how to navigate desire discrepancies. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the subject. Today, we’re going to discuss what to do when you’re the one who wants less sex. In the next episode, we’re going to talk about the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner who wants more sex. My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Her co-author of this book, Jennifer Vencill, will join me for the next episode. Some of the topics we discuss include: How common are sexual desire discrepancies? What are some of the factors that can negatively affect libido and lead to a decline in sexual desire? What does it really mean to have “low libido?” Is your libido actually low, or does it just seem low compared to your partner? What are some strategies for reconnecting with your partner when dealing with low libido? What is sensate focus, and how can it be helpful in dealing with a sexual desire discrepancy? To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren’s website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From Albert Einstein to James Joyce, it turns out that a lot of revered historical figures had fascinating intimate lives and a proclivity for kink. So let’s continue the discussion of kinky history we started in the previous episode! Today, we’re going to talk about the kinky sex lives of some famous folks from the past, but we’re also going to explore the history and evolution of various sexual behaviors, from oral sex to pegging to foot fetishes. I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: How long have humans been practicing fellatio, cunnilingus, and rimming? And how have these behaviors changed over time? Is pegging really a new sexual practice? Why might fetishes and kinks rise during epidemics and pandemics? Why have feet historically been one of the most common fetish objects? What are the kinky histories of author James Joyce and scientist Albert Einstein? To learn more, check out Esmé’s website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It turns out that for as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having pretty kinky sex! So let’s talk about our kinky history. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the history of BDSM, the origins of the dildo and vibrator (and how they came to be so popular), the world’s first pornographic novel (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), and more. All of these things have fascinating stories behind them—and learning about them can help us to better understand modern human sexuality. I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why is it important for us to understand kinky history in a way that isn’t centered around shame and gossip? How long have humans been into kink and BDSM? When did humans start making dildos? What are the origins of the vibrator, and how did it come to be so popular? What is the significance of the book Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure? What is a day in the life of a sex historian like? To learn more, check out Esmé’s website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In recent years, the term “ethical non-monogamy” has gone mainstream. But what does it actually mean to be ethically non-monogamous? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to explore some common myths and misconceptions about it, tips for making ethically non-monogamous relationships work, as well as red flags to look out for. I am joined once again by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan’s “10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok.” She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean for non-monogamy to be “ethical?” What do the terms “one-penis policy” and “unicorn hunting” mean? And why are they red flags in the world of non-monogamy? How can an overemphasis on fairness lead to a competitive dynamic in polyamory? Can polyamory be ethical regardless of whether it’s hierarchical or non-hierarchical? How can individuals establish healthy and workable non-monogamy agreements? Make sure to check out Leanne’s website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Interest in polyamory is on the rise. Google searches for it have been increasing for years, it’s increasingly being discussed in the popular media, and some municipalities are starting to offer legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. So what is it actually like to be polyamorous? My guest today is going to share her own personal poly journey. We’re going to discuss the benefits and challenges of multi-partner relationships, when the right time is to open up a monogamous relationship, and so much more. I am joined by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan’s “10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok.” She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is age related to interest in polyamory? Is it easier to introduce non-monogamy at the start of a relationship, or to wait until later? What are some of the biggest benefits of being non-monogamous? What are some of the biggest challenges? How do relationship structures and agreements change over time in polyamory? Make sure to check out Leanne’s website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It is hard to believe, but we recently reached episode number 200 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 200 episodes of a sex show? I decided to put together a compilation of some of the most fascinating facts about sex we’ve discussed to date. One of my co-managing editors at Sex and Psychology, Olivia Adams, helped me to narrow down several segments that are well worth revisiting. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: “Erotic self-focus” or the degree to which you turn yourself on, with guest Dr. Marta Meana (Episode 126) The growing number of men who are involuntarily celibate, with guest William Costello (Episode 133) What women are looking for in their affairs (and how they feel about them), with guest Susan Shapiro Barash (Episode 191) How religious values shape the way we interpret our own porn use, with guest Dr. Joshua Grubbs (Episode 186) The benefits of being single and how they change with age, with guest Dr. Yuthika Girme (Episode 174) In this show, I mentioned that there’s a guide for how to use this podcast as a companion teaching resource alongside my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality. This resource is already up on the site, and you can access it here.  Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans are wired to feel good when we get the kind of touch that we want. But when we can’t get that, it’s bad for both our physical and psychological health. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, most Americans said that they weren’t getting enough intimacy and affection, and this number has only increased since. So how can we fill this touch void in our lives? Could modern technology offer some solutions?  In today’s show, we’re going to discuss digital touch and whether tech might offer new and effective ways to meet our need for intimate contact. I am joined once again by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is touch crucial to making virtual reality an immersive experience? How close is modern technology to mimicking real-life sensations of touch? To what extent can technology be an effective substitute for human touch? Is it realistic to think we can get the same benefits from mechanical touch that we can from human touch? What are the ethical concerns surrounding digital touch? Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the keys to maintaining healthy, long-term romantic relationships is physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though. For many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into why touch is so powerful, as well as why affectionate touch is one of the best ways to initiate sex and to have great sex. We’re also going to explore practical tips for bringing more touch into your relationships. I am joined by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is kissing such an important part of intimate touch? How does culture influence our preferred forms of intimate touch? How and why is hugging beneficial for our relationships? Why is touch so important during sexual initiation? How can physical affection help to unlock the benefits of sex on our well-being? What does it mean to “make affection, not love?” Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Let’s talk about sexual fantasies! In today’s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in bringing them to life. I am joined once again by Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss include: How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world? Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans? How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies? How do people feel about their sexual fantasies? What do we know about the origins of our fantasies? What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map and get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH to get 10% off your first month.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let’s talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What questions should you ask when interviewing people about their sexual fantasies? Beyond vision, what role do the other senses (smell, taste, sound, touch) play in sexual fantasies? Where do people usually fantasize about having sex? How important is the setting in our fantasies? Do we usually appear in our own fantasies and, if so, how do we tend to represent ourselves? Do people tend to see their fantasies from a first-person POV perspective, or from a third-person perspective (i.e., like they’re watching a movie)? Do fantasies usually have a distinct storyline with a beginning, middle, and end? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.