Being "Nice" is Ruining Your Life | #114
Podcast: Secondhand TherapyPublished On: Mon Jan 19 2026
Description: People-pleasing, fear of failure, and how your mom’s voice became your inner critic. Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”? Why does being liked feel like survival? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection. We talk about: People-pleasing as a trauma response Fear of failure and perfectionism Why being “nice” blocks real connection Feelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves) Productivity as a substitute for self-worth Learning to say no without guilt Wanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inward This episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time. We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning. If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
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