We’re back in the studio (and yes, the chairs are dangerously comfy) to celebrate nearly a year of To Be A Boy. From Ruth Whippman’s eye-opening research on raising boys, to Lenore Skenazy convincing us to let kids roam free, to John Amaechi’s powerful truths about identity, we’re unpacking the moments that made us laugh, cry, and rethink everything. Plus, a shout-out to Josh—the 14-year-old genius who might just save masculinity. Join us for highlights, surprises, and a little festive chaos as we look ahead to what’s next.Thanks for a wonderful year, wonderful listeners!

What does it take to raise a brilliant boy with autism in a world full of stigma, systemic hurdles, and cultural misconceptions? In this episode, childcare lawyer and super-mum Deborah Otubambo shares her 21-year journey of advocacy, resilience, and hope whilst raising a son with autism. From the early days of confusion and cultural stigma to navigating the complex world of EHCPs and education, Deborah shares what it really takes to advocate for your child against systemic hurdles. She talks candidly about the emotional toll, the misconceptions she faced, and how her perspective on diagnosis evolved over time. This conversation is a raw and hopeful look at resilience, community, and redefining success for families of children with special educational needs.Some notes for you:The number of cases brought to tribunal that are successful is actually 98%: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com/55-rise-2024-send-tribunal-appeals-cost-families-incalculable/Costs can vary wildly - and unless you get legal aid then it can cost up to £20,000 to take this action. Resources mentioned in this episode include: https://www.ipsea.org.ukhttps://www.braain.co.uk/senhttps://family-action.org.uk/our-work-impact/send/https://sossen.org.ukhttps://www.specialneedsjungle.com

What does it mean to grow up as a boy today? Spoiler: It’s not all football and moonwalks anymore. In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott sit down with Lee Chambers, psychologist, and founder of Male Allies UK, and all-around champion for modern masculinity. They are unpacking a report that’s both eye-opening and alarming - although there is some hope mixed in too!From boys feeling unheard and disconnected to the rise of AI “girlfriends”, Lee takes us inside the minds of the next generation and asks: what happens when adolescence collides with algorithms and what can we do as allies?

In this episode of To Be a Boy, our Elliott and Joeli are getting stuck into the fascinating (and occasionally sobering) world of modern masculinity. Joined by Joe Hall from Channel 4 and Fergus Navaratnam-Blair from the National Research Group, we’re unpacking the findings of the Mirror on Masculinities report. From why a third of men rarely see the kind of bloke they aspire to be in advertising, to why Angry Ginge streaming FIFA might be more relatable than Johnny Depp flogging aftershave, this episode is getting intoit. Expect some eyebrow-raising stats and plenty of insights as we tackle everything from the rise of Twitch streamers as role models to the curious concept of “masculinity vertigo.”

Joeli and Elliott are joined by the inimitable Cindy Gallop to discuss her ground breaking work with Make Love Not Porn, addressing the impact of pornography on societal expectations and relationships. She describes the importance of open conversations about sex and love, particularly in educating children and young adults and the amazing results she’s seen as a direct result of her work. They also touch on the challenges of funding and support for sex education initiatives, the decline of intimacy among young people, and the need for a cultural shift in how we talk about sex and relationships. Be warned – this is a no holds barred conversation with swearing et al. Please do check out the BRILLIANT Make Love Not Porn Academy here: https://www.makelovenotporn.academy/and the change.org campaign here: https://www.change.org/p/calling-for-fair-visibility-for-all-on-linkedin\Let’s spread the word about this amazing and vital work for men, boys, women and girls.

Joeli and Elliott are taking us through THAT Chanté Joseph Vogue article and asking if and why it’s uncool to have a boyfriend… This episode explores the complexities of modern relationships, the impact of social media, and the evolving roles of men and women. We’re also tackling topics like heterofatalism, the trad wife movement, and the balance of unpaid labour: all in a day’s work.

In this episode, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley are joinedby their favourite guest-slash-interrogator, producer Kaley Botting, for a freewheeling chat spanning everything from International Men’s Day to the emotional fallout of the John Lewis Christmas ad. Expect reflections on parenting, gender disappointment, and why brunch raves might just be the salvation of middle-aged joy-seekers. Also: Elliott tries to swap children,Joeli cries over retail marketing, and Kaley’s mum’s WhatsApp group makes a surprise cameo. And just when you think it couldn’t get more profound, they end with a dad joke showdown that may or may not involve ChatGPT. (Spoiler: it does.)

Joeli and Elliott sit down with, yes you heard us right, John Amaechi to talk all things sports, identity and masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and intimacy among men. John reflects on his experiences as a latecomer to basketball and how it shaped his understanding of masculinity. They also roll up their sleeves and delve into the societal pressures surrounding masculinity, the need for empathy, and the responsibility of parents and coaches in nurturing healthy relationships. John advocates for a redefinition of masculinity that embraces vulnerability and connection, urging listeners to foster environments where boys can express their emotions freely and develop meaningful relationships: it's right up our street.

In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley sit down with Richard Reeves—author of Of Boys and Men and chair of the UK’s Centre for Policy Research on Boys and Men—for a candid, compassionate conversation about the challenges facing boys and young men today. Together, they explore how schools can better support boys, why male role models matter, and how masculinity can be reimagined without shame or stereotype. Whether you're a parent, educator, policymaker, or simply curious about gender equality, this episode offers a refreshing and nuanced take on what it means to grow up male in today’s world. If he's good enough for Obama, he's good enough for TBAB!

In this episode, Joeli, Elliott, and Producer Kaley havetheir first ‘Questions with Kaley’ session.The TBAB team explore the concept of 'the ick' in dating, the importance of emotional support in relationships, and the impact of paternity leave on family dynamics. Joeli passes on some cracking advice about future proofing the dynamic with a Dad and Elliott reveals his Good Man ofmusic, and MORE people!

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of To BeA Boy, Joeli and Elliott are joined by the brilliant SarahOckwell-Smith, one of the UK’s leading parenting experts and bestselling author of The Gentle Parenting Book and How to Raise a Teen.Together, they dive deep into the challenges and misconceptions surrounding modern boyhood, masculinity, and parenting, with Sarah offering rich insights from her decades of experience and her upcoming book How to Raise a Gentle Man. The trio explore how we can better support boys with an emphasis on birth through adolescence, challenging stereotypes and championing emotional intelligence, empathy, and authentic self-expression. You.will.learn.a.lot!

In this episode Joeli and Elliott speak with Dr. Alex Blowerto dive into the uphill battle faced by working-class boys in education—think less Hogwarts, more hurdles. From aspiration gaps to the masculinity myths messing with motivation, he shares insights, stories, and a few reality checks. It’s time to rethink how we support boys in the classroom.

Join us live from the phenomenal Working Dads’ Summit! In To Be A Boy’s first live recording, Joeli faces a grilling from Elliott. They explore the impact of the motherhood penalty, the importance of parental leave, co-parenting, and the role of support networks for working parents. As per usual, get in touch with your thoughts and questionsat tobeaboyteam@gmail.com

From body image and the pressure to provide, to violence, vulnerability and viral masculinity myths—this episode dives deep into the challenges boys face and how we can support them. Elliott and Joeli chat with Dan Guinness and Ben Hurst from Beyond Equality about what it means to be a boy today. Expect wisdom, warmth, and a few laughs along the way.

In this powerful and practical episode, Joeli and Elliott sit down with parenting coach and founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, Tosha Schore, to tackle one of the toughest topics: aggression in boys. From meltdowns and morning chaos to verbal outbursts and sibling clashes, Tosha shares compassionate, connection-based strategies for helping boys manage big feelings—without shame, blame or punishment. Expect real talk, relatable stories, and tips you can use today (including the surprisingly effective “drop to the floor” method).---------------https://www.toshaschore.com/owa

We’re back! Joeli and Elliott catch up after summer, swap stories about Welsh golf buggies and nudist beaches, and reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of raising boys and returning to school, expect a few tears. Joeli shares her new venture, GrowthSpurt, and Elliott previews the world’s first Working Dads Summit. Plus, a sneak peek at the incredible guests lined up for Series 3, including Richard Reeves, John Amaechi, and Beyond Equality.—----------------------------GrowthSpurt www.growth-spurt.ukWorking Dads Summit www.workingdadssummit.comParenting Out Loud on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/company/parenting-out-loud

Health educator and author Christopher Pepper joins Joeli and Elliott to talk puberty, masculinity, gaming, anger, love, and what to do when your son might be Googling “how to get bigger muscles.” From emotional literacy to ethical decision-making, this episode is packed with practical advice, heartfelt stories, and laughs for anyone raising boys in today’s world.-----------------www.talktoyourboys.com⁠workingdadssummit.com⁠⁠www.laurahenryallain.com/news/my-skin-your-skin/

In this warm, funny, and deeply insightful episode, Joeli and Elliott are joined by author and boy-mum extraordinaire Uju Asika, whose latest book Raising Boys Who Do Better is a hopeful guide for parenting boys in today’s complex world. From cuddles and culture clashes to clitoris conversations and pickled onion Monster Munch, this episode dives into the joys and challenges of raising boys with kindness, clarity, and a whole lot of humour.------------------------Raising Boys Wo do Betterworkingdadssummit.com⁠

Joeli and Elliott are joined by Owen Thomas and Chris Stein from Future Men to explore how we can better support boys in today’s world. From redefining masculinity and tackling stereotypes to practical tools for parents and educators, this episode is packed with insight, humour, and hope.----------------------------futuremen.orgworkingdadssummit.com

Dr. Michele Borba joins Elliott and Joeli to explore why boys today are more anxious, lonely, and stressed—and what parents can do to help. From bedtime chats to ukulele therapy, this episode is packed with practical tips, heartfelt stories, and a few laughs. Discover how small acts (like a Post-it note) can make a big impact.https://micheleborba.com

Joeli and Elliott reflect on the emotional leap from primary to secondary school — for kids and parents alike. From leavers’ assemblies and letting go to puberty, peer pressure and parenting panic. They share personal stories, expert advice from Caroline Jacobs, and advice on surviving the summer holiday chaos — with your sanity (mostly) intact.

We’re joined by the legendary Steve Biddulph—psychologist, global parenting guru, and the reason many of us still believe we can survive the teen years—we dive headfirst into the wild, wonderful, and sometimes worrisome world of raising boys. Expect laughter, maybe a tear or two, and plenty of “aha!” moments as we explore modern boyhood with someone who’s seen it all.Steve brings compassion and clarity to the chaos, tackling tough topics like toxic online cultures and those mysterious moods that arrive just after bedtime. For every parent who’s ever stayed up worrying (or Googling “How to talk to my son without being embarrassing”), this episode offers practical wisdom and a reminder: you’re not alone in wanting your boy to grow up kind, confident, and happy.

Elliott and Joeli tackle the urgent topic of online safety, sharing scary stats like children in the UK spending an average of 134 minutes a day on TikTok and 49 minutes on Instagram in 2024, with 36% of kids aged eight to 17 having seen something worrying or nasty online in the past year. Joined by Peter Kyle, Secretary of State for Science, Innovation and Technology, they explore the government’s new Online Safety Act— which the government claims has some of the world’s most sweeping protections—which now require social media platforms to safeguard young users from everything from cyberbullying to violent and harmful content. Tune in for a fun, insightful conversation full of practical tips and the latest on how digital life for young people in the UK is set to change for the better.

We’re diving into the wonderfully awkward world of sex ed for kids—covering everything from “where do babies come from?” to the importance of pleasure. Joeli and Elliott share honest tips, relatable stories, and answer your questions on how to talk to kids about sex, consent, and relationships—without losing your cool.

Did you know that in the UK, men are nearly three times more likely than women to become dependent on alcohol? Or that men account for 74% of hospital admissions for drug-related mental health issues? Joining us is the brilliant Jessica Lahey, best selling author of *The Gift Of Failure* and *The Addiction Inoculation*. She joins Joeli and Elliott to tackle one of the toughest yet most vital topics for parents today: addiction.

This week, Joeli and Elliott are still reeling from their chat with 15-year-old Josh Sargent, who somehow knows more about inflation, misogyny, and the internet than most adults do (and can spell “misogyny” without spellcheck). They unpack the impact of the online world on boys, the impossible balance of protecting kids while keeping them connected, and why critical thinking might just be the new superpower.

Ever wondered what teenage boys really think about the Manosphere? In this week’s enlightening episode we break new ground by speaking directly to someone who’s living it—15-year-old Josh Sargent. Josh isn’t just navigating GCSEs; he’s writing a book about the Manosphere, all while grappling with the dual life of consuming content privately at home and existing in a world where these topics are rarely discussed openly among peers.As ever – we’re reading through your amazing emails for ideas and insights – YOUR TEAM NEEDS YOU! Stay in touch at tobeaboyteam@gmail.com

Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae dive into the best bits (and the missing bits) of last week’s laugh-out-loud episode with Caitlin Moran – join them as they unpack the the wisdom and reflect on the power of humour. Beyond that, Joeli and Elliott explore the crucial need for a men’s movement and where the backlash to diversity and inclusion work might be coming from. As always – we LOVE to hear your thoughts, so keep those messages coming!

Joeli, Elliott and Caitlin dive headfirst into the world of modern masculinity. It won’t surprise any Caitlin fans that this episode is not short of witty insights from her latest work and the group tackles the big themes: parenthood, mental health, body image, and the evolution of masculinity. From the loneliness of man caves to the societal pressures of being a 'tough guy,' no topic is off-limits. This episode promises a fresh look at how men can redefine love and vulnerability in today's world.

Welcome back to the wild world of parenting boys! We’rekicking off Series 2, with Joeli and Elliott taking a trip down memory lane, revisiting the highs, the lows, and the lovely voices from Season One. They dive headfirst into the digital jungle of children's online lives, tackle the parenting boys' obstacle course, and highlight the quest for positive male role models.

Did you know 44% of Gen Z men think we've done enough for women's rights? Or that 45% believe we're now discriminating against men? And brace yourself – 47% feel masculinity is under attack.Join us as we welcome James, the audience planner extraordinaire with 12 years at Channel 4, and Konrad, the co-founder of Craft, the award-winning strategic insight agency. Together, we'll tackle the economic instability haunting this generation, their delayed milestones, and the strange blend of their digital and real lives. Spoiler alert: it's a bit of a mess.This series is proudly supported by Bubble, the app to find a vetted sitter or nanny that’s trusted by 250k parents, including us! Whether it’s an urgent work deadline or a chance to unwind, Bubble connects you with vetted, trusted sitters who can be with you in as little as an hour: https://bubble.onelink.me/nnib/0d8hretm

Get ready for a enlightening episode of the To Be A Boy Podcast! This time, we are thrilled to welcome the wonderfully insightful Amy Lang, the brilliant mind behind 'Birds and Bees and Your Kids'. Her book serves as an exceptional guide for parents striving to share their values on sexuality, love, and relationships with their children.Amy brings her wealth of knowledge and a sprinkle of humour to our discussion, focusing on how to approach those oh-so-awkward conversations about sexuality with your kids. With over 16 years of experience as a sex educator, Amy is a treasure trove of practical advice.

In this week's episode of To Be A Boy, Sarah Sternberg, Director of Reimagining Masculinities at Movember, joins us to discuss their new report exploring the online health of men and boys. Movember is a leading global charity which has been transforming men's health research and services since 2003.Join us as we discuss this ground-breaking report which explores who is engaging with masculinity influencers and the impact they are having on the mental and physical health of men and boys. Our co-host Elliott will be quietly joining us due to a lost voice (representing a facet of men's ill health!).You can find the report here: movember.com/youngmenonlineAnd the parent toolkit kit here: movember.com/parenttoolkit We hope you find it as useful as we do!

Ever wondered why blokes these days seem lonelier than a post-laundry sock? Join Elliott and Joeli as they speak to expert Max Dickins for this episode tackling the growing issue of male loneliness and the curious case of the disappearing close friendship. We'll also touch on the joys (and occasional woes) of parenting boys, and why broadening their understanding of success and emotional intelligence is vital.

Welcome back to the "To Be a Boy" podcast! We are sharing a heartfelt thanks to our listeners for their overwhelmingly positive responses and thoughtful messages following the Adolescence special. Elliott opens up about parents feeling confused and a bit lost, while Joeli shares some reassuring advice to help navigate these turbulent times.We are also joined by the brilliant Lenore Skenazy for a lovely chat uncovering the issues behind anxious parenting and sharing practical tips to give our kids a sense of independence and freedom to help them grow. Lenore is the co-founder of Let Grow and the author of ‘Free-Range Kids’ and immediately changed Joeli and Elliott’s approach to parenting – we challenge you not the feel the same!This series is proudly supported by Bubble, the app to find a vetted sitter or nanny that’s trusted by 250k parents, including us! Whether it’s an urgent work deadline or a chance to unwind, Bubble connects you with vetted, trusted sitters who can be with you in as little as an hour: https://bubble.onelink.me/nnib/0d8hretm

In this FOUR PARTER (you’re welcome) episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott are debriefing us: bringing their unique voices and perspectives to the table as they delve into the international conversation happening around the Netflix show ‘Adolescence’.  The episode features a poignant conversation with Sarah (not her real name), a mother who courageously shares her child's journey and the impactful experiences they've faced. Our blue-haired psychotherapist, Sarah, offers insightful commentary on how these experiences shape young minds, while Ineke from the NSPCC provides invaluable practical advice and takeaways for parents and caregivers alike. NSPCC website: NSPCC | The UK children's charity | NSPCCWhere people can donate: Donate to Charity Online | Give to NSPCC today | NSPCCTraining and consultancy: NSPCC Learning | Safeguarding and child protectionAdult helpline: NSPCC Helpline | NSPCC LearningChildine: Childline | ChildlineBeyond Equality: https://www.beyondequality.org/Future Men: https://futuremen.org/Men and Boys Coalition: https://www.menandboyscoalition.org.uk/category/newsevents/Father2Father: https://www.father2father.co.uk/Alex Holmes: https://alexholmes.co/

Elliott and Joeli are joined by author and award-winning podcast host, Alex Holmes to explore the complex issues surrounding men’s mental health. And before that, they look at how 2025's International Women's Day has been received and what they take from that. As well as the personal reasons behind their passion for improving men's mental health. Strap in.  They examine the awful statistics of male suicide, and the challenges men face in forming meaningful connections. Society's ingrained norms often stifle emotional expression, and Alex talks us through the importance of fostering friendships among men. Loneliness has a significant impact on well-being, and our team discuss the barriers men encounter when seeking mental health support. Global Boyhood Initiative, conversation starter cards: https://www.boyhoodinitiative.org/resources?field_taxonomy_ref_target_id=6&field_audience_ref_target_id=All Men's peer support groups:Andy's Man Club: www.andysmanclub.co.ukMusicFootballFatherhood: www.musicfootballfatherhood.comMen and Boys Coalition: www.menandboyscoalition.org.uk Professional Mental Health support: MIND: www.mind.org.uk/CALM: www.thecalmzone.netContact your GP to access free NHS Talking Therapy

JOIN US IN JOINING THE RUTH WHIPPMAN FAN CLUB. In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott and Joeli have a brilliant and engaging conversation with Ruth Whippman, the author of 'Boy Mum: Raising Boys in the Age of Toxic Masculinity’ and explore the complex challenges boys face in today's society.Ruth offers her researched and insightful views on the dangers of toxic masculinity and the crucial importance of nurturing boys' emotional development. They discuss the significant impact of screens on boys' social lives, the complexities surrounding consent, and the educational system's role in boys' underachievement.

In the inaugural episode of To Be A Boy, hosts Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae explore why they believe this podcast is so vital. They discuss the challenges of raising boys in today’s society, what it means to be a good man, and the pressing issues facing boys and men today – from mental health struggles to the impact of pornography, educational inequalities, and the need for positive male role models.Joeli and Elliott share their personal motivations for launching the podcast, highlighting the urgent need for open conversations about masculinity and the power of male friendship. The episode kicks off an important dialogue on how we can better support boys and men in their journey to thrive.

Welcome to our new podcast, To Be A Boy: an exploration of boyhood and modern day men. How do we raise kind, thoughtful, happy, healthy boys? Why are we seeing so many men embracing misogyny and the hard right? Does male privilege apply to all boys? Is Andrew Tate saying anything worth listening to, or is he just a sexist prick? Joeli Brealey and Elliott Rae uncover answers to all of these questions and more on a mission to understand modern day masculinity and where we are potentially going wrong. Join us and a bunch of incredible experts as we unpick what it means to raise boys and to be a boy in 2024 and beyond.