Moving from Fighting Your Anger to Working With It
Moving from Fighting Your Anger to Working With It  
Podcast: The Wired for Well-Being Podcast
Published On: Sat Aug 22 2026
Description: Get Jeffrey's free 20-minute video, "Why Do I Feel Stuck?" at drjeffreyrutstein.com/links. Is your anger trying to tell you something you keep talking yourself out of? In this episode, Jeffrey and Steve get into anger — where it actually comes from, why it can sit in you for days or weeks after the moment has passed, and why the hardest anger to deal with is often the anger you're not sure you have a right to feel. Steve brings a recent betrayal by someone he considered a friend and the question underneath it: is this hurt, disappointment, or something bigger — and how do you know the difference when shame keeps insisting you're overreacting? Jeffrey lays out his four pillars of anger — the four kinds of emotional, mental, and moral pain that every angry moment is built on — and why betrayal in a relationship lands so much harder than ordinary disappointment. Along the way, they explore: why shame and anger so often arrive together and turn the anger back on you, what venting really does to resentment, the role blame plays in keeping conflict alive, and how much nervous system regulation you actually need before any of this becomes possible — the answer is far less than you'd think.  Want tools to help you move from dysregulation toward regulation? Grab Jeffrey's free 20-minute video, "Why Do I Feel Stuck?" at drjeffreyrutstein.com/links. Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Call (866) 357-5156 or email hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com — we might feature it in a future episode. This podcast is for informational purposes only and isn't a substitute for professional mental or physical health care. If you're struggling, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider.